So I have a sister in law that has a son(71/2mo) just two months older then my daughter and she is having him watch dvd's to teach him to read and showing him flash cards. This is all new to me and I thought my daughter would learn things by me just talking, reading and singing to her and now im totally confused. Do I make her watch these dvd's or not? I feel like if i dont and she is behind it will hold her back and make me look like a bad mom ???? I want her to learn but I also dont want to push her to grow up :)
Hi there Kayla,
I'm going to preface this response by saying that every family does things differently. I'm not trying to be say that anybody is doing anything wrong. Personally though...I don't think that it's healthy for their development to expose children to things like television and media that early. When my children were very young, they learned best by imitation. Just like you said...they listened to me sing and talk and learned by copying me. My children are very smart and excelling in school.
Please remember that (especially as a new Mom) as parents we are exposed to so many other parenting styles. Each to their own. Just always trust your own intuition and what it tells you for your family. Although it's hard, try not to compare yourself, your family, or your parenting style to anybody else's.
Warmest Wishes!
Candice
so I too was like your sister in law I thought that if I exposed my daughter to these things early she would learn them and then I realized I needed to relax and let her be a baby and when I did this things became so much easier and she is way a head of the learning curve. you have it right the best thing for your daughter is to let her do it in her own time and right now she just needs to focus on you and she will learn so keep reading to her and talking to her and you can even say things like "look this word say DUCK" but don't expect too much and she will get it. you are a good mom and so is your sister in law.
I say NO on the TV. But it is important to read -- read anything out loud doesn't have to be a childrens story, because at her age she is focusing on sounds not words. I have had flash cards with both my daughters (4yrs old and 20 months) I use them more like a book to look at pictures and letters not as quizes.
HTH
Hi Kayla. You both are right! In fact, most mothers are right in the choices they make for their children.
Now I will say that as an Usborne consultant I sell these dvds. I recently listened to a presentation by the doctor who created the "Your Baby Can Read" series and I think he had some really valid points about early brain development and exposing your child to the written word at the same time you are exposing him/her to spoken language.
Do you have to do it through dvds, no. You can do it through reading lots of books (and I can help you build your libray for free-shameless plug).
And while I understand and respect the no TV moms, the reality is that that's not my house (and I try not to feel guilty about it). My 14 month old sees/watches whatever my 5yo does and whatever we do--now mind you it's nothing R-rated or anything. And personally I have no problem throwing on a "Your Baby Can Read" dvd to balance out the junk they watch and give myself an uninterrupted 20 minutes to get dinner on the table.
I will warn you though that there will be many more times when you worry about your child being behind and wonder if you're doing the right things. That's completely normal. If you are reading to your child daily, talking to her, loving her, exposing her to new sights and sounds, you are doing just fine!
Wow. That's pretty twisted. My kids were learning to crawl and eat solids around that age. Does she think she's doing a child a service by forcing him/her to sit still long before the baby has an actual attention span? sorrry for the sarcasm. Do some homework. Most peds recommend absolutely NO screen time/TV time before the age of 2. Most children (not babies) learn to read, when they are ready around age 5.
The less your baby depends upon DVDs and television for stimulation the better your baby will learn. Children learn by copying. This is true. You should be the example of what your child imitates. Read to your child daily. Talk to your child constantly. Telling your child what you are doing in your routines and pointing out things to your child beats any other stimulation. Reading comes from seeing objects and letters together. A simple "STOP" sign, for example is an easy letters to words visual your child will learn. When reading level books (simple words and pitures), your child will learn new letters and words. Some children learn to read very early and other take their time. Do not push your child to learn, relax and allow you and your child to explore the world around you and take one step at a time.
You will never be a bad mom if you allow your child to learn at his/her own pace.
Hi Kayla,
I remember watching a news program a while ago that talked about how unnecessary it is to teach babies to read through dvd's and flashcards. Unfortunately this was a while ago, and I cannot remember the details. But I did find a website that recommends a book called, "Einstein Never Used Flashcards." And here is a synopsis from that website (www.helenparocha.com):
"The title sums up the book's premise. The authors argue that rather than memorising flash cards, children learn better through unstructured play. They explain how children's skills develop in various areas from birth until about seven years old, and support these explanations with references to scientific studies. The authors reassure parents that they don't need to be the "architects" of their child's brain. If the child is in a normal, stimulating environment, he or she will develop to his/her full potential without expensive "educational" toys. This book stresses the necessity of lots of free playing time in a child's life and warns that a focus on intellectual achievement can detract from other essential skills such as learning how to persevere."
I hope this is helpful to you. Good Luck!
hi there,
it sounds like you are doing just fine on your own - talking, singing, etc. i personally think that kiddos get MUCH more out of just plain old interaction with you, than from plopping them in front of a t.v. set. My son is almost 12 months old, supwer smart and interactive, babbles his head off, and never watches t.v. nor have I stuck any flashcards in front of him. All kids are different and I think the best thing you can do is to continue interacting and talk, talk, talk, to your little girl. There are SOOOO many toys and products out there that are pushed on kids, ( and parents )that are totally unnecessary. Why does she HAVE to know how to read when she is so tiny anyway? she will be plenty busy learning, experiencing, and exploring the world around her. I would suggest dropping that guilty feeling and just do what comes naturally to you. After all, generations before us learned to talk and read just fine and they didn't learn it from a dvd. And don't worry what "makes you look like a bad mom". If someone has a problem with you not forcing things on your daughter, then it sounds like they are "bad friends". I think it sounds like you're doing just fine. Good luck!
I said no to the baby videos/dvds. Kids watch enough tv in my opinion, I certainly wouldn't promote it earlier than necessary. I think it is more important to read and interact with your baby than to sit her in front of the television. I have 4 children and they did not really watch tv before they were 2. That doesn't mean that they didn't see the tv, or weren't interested in what was on it. I also taught preschool for almost 10 years and 3 or 4 is a more reasonable age to start teaching your child to "read". Good luck!
Please don't worry about it!!
I'm a first time mom too, an my son is 2. My sister-in-law asked if I read to him and what kind of books he's reading. She said her 8 YEAR OLD is on chapter books already. Well good for her..he's 8!! I didn't let her bother me ( she's weird anyway) and my mom said it doesn't matter how old a kid is when they learn to read, they eventually even out in school. You daughter is only 5 1/2 months old? She's not reading novels anytime soon. There's nothing wrong with teaching your kids, but don't expect them to know what your talking about quite that young. Reading, singing, talking, and playing is all importnat. She'll learn- don't worry!
You ARE NOT a bad mom!!
Katy
I have six very inteligent children. My oldest is 12 and is on the honor roll & has been an exceptional reader since he was young. My second child is in the 3rd grade and has a 7th grade reading level.I did not have them watch DVD's or put flash cards in their faces as babies. Just read to them and talked with them a lot. I'm sure the movies you speak of can't hurt your daughter but I'm sure what your doing will be just as effective and more enjoyable for her.
LOTS of response to this one. It gets us moms going. Just wanted to say....Your child will be better adjusted and happier if you RELAX, enjoy her and play and talk to her (normal is GOOD! children who are too smart suffer). It is normal for us to compair our children to others and ourselves to other moms. Just remember that if you are spending time with your baby just playing and tickling and loving everything else will fall into place. example: My brother didnt talk until he was almost 4 (yes he saw a doc) but when he started he didnt stop. He loved numbers from an early age and while his reading/language is average his math is above. Dont let it bug you, just say to yourself "my child has the most beautiful smile" etc and give her a big hug. I remember a time not too long ago before toddler tv when kids would go to kindergarden to learn their letters, numbers, and abcs. Wait, that was ME! Dont worry mom, probubly your SIL is a stress basket perfectionist whos house is never dirty, kids are spotless and dinner includes all 5 food groups (but hugs are rare, laughs take too much time, and tickling wrinkles the clothes). Let her be her, you be you, and give your daughter a big hug and raspberry. Jen
How do you communicate? We talk and interact with eachother. I hope I don't sound offensive. When parents push their kids into learning too fast....it's like a competition. I hate it when other mom's asked me "how many words is he saying"....I respond "I don't know", I know that he can say a few words. I don't pay attention to that type of stuff. All I need to know is that my son is healthy and is a well behaved little boy. He is very smart. I am proud to be his "Mommy". At your daughter's age she is learning everyday. Whether it is when you use hand movements, saying simple words or actions or singing a song. That is how they learn to communicate with us with every day inter-acion. Enjoy the time you have with your little one - you will NEVER get that back from her. Enjoy the cooing, gurgling, and all the new discoveries that she encounters. As for the dvd's and tv shows....Do what you will. I let my son watch the cartoons and educational shows on OPB in the morning. (well that is one of the 7 channels that we have - we don't have cable). I myself thought about getting some dvd's for entertaining...and educational like the Wiggles and such. I picked up a few einstein and rolly polly cartoons/movies at Garage Sales. He doesn't just sit and watch the shows either....he's also playing and running around the house. Good luck and try to ignore the competition.
P.S. she is not behind and you are not a bad mom either.
Go to loveandlogic.com and you will can look into some very real hard facts about tv and young children. It is bad for childrend to watch tv. They become addicted to it. A child uner 5 years should not watch any tv and one over should only watch half an hour a day.
thats great and all.. But most important every child learns at different stages and time. I waited until my baby showed interest in like baby einstine and other shows then started letting them watch and talk with them during the dvds. I never really did the flash card thing. Dont let another person (ie family friends) make you feel rushed into doing these things. what might work for them may not work for you and your children. ONLY you know your child. Just relax and have fun...
you've gotten some great advice already but i wanted to share with you something i saw on the discovery channel. they had these babies whose parents did the flash card thing and the babies seemed brilliant. they could name presidents and different types of airplanes at really young ages. yet the majority of them were kids of regular intelligence when they were older, plus they didn't remember any of the things their parents had drilled into them. it seems to me that it's a waste of time, and not very interesting, since they will learn it anyway. kids learn through play anyway so just have fun :)
now your SIL is probably going to give you her superior attitude for awhile now, supported by the fact that her daughter knows more words, etc. but also remember that her daughter is older. 2 months mean a lot, especially at this age.
i've tried not to play that same game with my own daughter and our best friends' daughter. they are 8 months apart. they put their daughter in a montessori school and our daughter's in public. her daughter can write more letters already and i have to remind myself that my daughter will learn eventually, when she's taught in kindergarten. we've always thought my daughter was smarter anyway. our friends daughter couldn't even open a doorknob until she was 4. but then again, maybe she's just not mechanically-minded.
Kayla,
I don't think it's ever too early to read to your child, however I am not sure a child that young is going to get much out of a video, plus I think mommy time and having their educational/family values from your family is much better. I don't think watching a short video here and there is harmful. I had my daughter watch the Baby Einstein videos at that age. She wasn't terribly interested though.
As far as reading itself, I think you might consider what method you intend to use if you are really interested in teaching your child to read when she is ready.
One method I would recommend is Phono Graphics by Read America. My sister-in-law has a masters in teaching reading and has taught in the schools and has her own practice teaching school age kids and adults. You can find the book in the library and the first few chapters take a while because the book explains the method really well. While your baby is young, it might be a good time to prepare for their learning now.
Really, at this age it's your values your child is paying attention to, so whatever you are interested in she will be too!
Congrats on your little one!
Gabriellle
My children, who won scholarships to prestigious universities, didn't see television or videos until they were in junior high. They all started reading at appropriate times - 4-5 years old. What did I do? I read to them and talked to them all the time. Not as babies, but as real people. I even continued reading out loud to them when they were in high school. Here is an article from the LA times that talks about studies conducted with mothers and babies. Happy READING!!
Videos as a baby brain drain (LAT)
'Baby Einstein': a bright idea?
Infants shown such educational series end up with poorer vocabularies, study
finds. Researcher says 'American Idol' is better.
By Amber Dance, Times Staff Writer
Parents hoping to raise baby Einsteins by using infant educational videos
are actually creating baby Homer Simpsons, according to a new study released
today.
For every hour a day that babies 8 to 16 months old were shown such popular
series as "Brainy Baby" or "Baby Einstein," they knew six to eight fewer
words than other children, the study found.
Parents aiming to put their babies on the fast track, even if they are still
working on walking, each year buy hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of
the videos.
Unfortunately it's all money down the tubes, according to Dr. Dimitri
Christakis, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington in
Seattle.
Christakis and his colleagues surveyed 1,000 parents in Washington and
Minnesota and determined their babies' vocabularies using a set of 90 common
baby words, including mommy, nose and choo-choo.
The researchers found that 32% of the babies were shown the videos, and 17%
of those were shown them for more than an hour a day, according to the study
in the Journal of Pediatrics.
The videos, which are designed to engage a baby's attention, hop from scene
to scene with minimal dialogue and include mesmerizing images, like a lava
lamp.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television for children
under 24 months.
The Brainy Baby Co. and Walt Disney Co., which markets the "Baby Einstein"
videos, did not return calls from the Los Angeles Times.
Christakis said children whose parents read to them or told them stories had
larger vocabularies.
"I would rather babies watch 'American Idol' than these videos," Christakis
said, explaining that there is at least a chance their parents would watch
with them ‹ which does have developmental benefits.
[email protected]
August 7, 2007
Copyright 2007 Los Angeles Times
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/la-sci-babyeinstein7aug07,1,858101.
story
I would say that it's not worth anyone's time to show flashcards to a 7.5 month old (unless they're one of the super rare genius children). Your daughter needs to work on more important things like CRAWLING! Ha ha.. Kids at this age learn from the world around them, and not from dvd's and flashcards. My son could have cared less about watching TV until he was 2.
Something that did work really well for us was sign language. It really helped relieve some frustration at a young age from lack of verbal communication. Relax and enjoy this time, it goes by fast.