What do you all think is the toughest age to parent?
A family member said to me the other day.... "Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems." This, of course, freaked me out because my 18 month old son is really giving me a run for my money already!
What was the hardest age of your kids to deal with as parent? I know every kid is different with personalities and temperaments and such, but just curious the opinions out there.
Im glad Im the first to comment, because I dont even wanna know! Im not going to open this again. lol
So far age 4 is the hardest with my boys (they are 6 1/2 and turning 5). My daughter is turning 3, and she's a peach right now... so for her... I'd say turning 3.
I'm sure I'll have a new number in a few years ;)
Jess
i think the teen years are the tougher years. Watching your kids fall into peer groups and such, not being your lovey little innocent kid anymore. I'd do the baby years over and over, I loved newborn to 10 the most I think. Junior high is where they start getting a little more independent of you, it's a bitter sweet transitional period.
I found the 2-5 age really tough. Both my boys are teens now (13 and 17), and, yeah, there are some challenges, but for me, it's sooooooooooo much easier than the toddler years.
Of course, after 19 years in 7-12 education, teens make sense. Toddlers never did...
My oldest son, 16-18.
My next one, a daughter, she is 16 now, but it hasn't been that bad
My other two are 14 and 10, so far pretty easy.
It depends on the child. My oldest is very ODD and had it in for all rules since he heard the word NO. In his mind rules are meant to be broken.
My second is a rule freak and wants everyone to follow the rules. So if tell her something, then that goes for everyone.
THe other two are homeschooled and not very influenced by outside factors.
Sorry to tell you this but it does get harder. With that, you are able to see the fruits of your labors...so work hard now! My youngest is 16 and that is where the independence comes out and the preparation for flight appears...."when I move out" starts and plans to do things differently come about. It doesn't help that Disney and Nick all have teenagers either living with an absent uncle or a stupid older brother that doesn't have a clue.
I prayed over my girls but I feel I didn't pray enough. They have turned out fine so far but as the world changes, I'm still holding my breath!
God bless!
Mimi
My son is going to be 5 this month and age 3 was really tough! Although things are starting to get more difficult now. As I let him do more and more things by himself, he thinks that means he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants! I'm sure when he's a teenager I'll look back on these days and remember how easy I had it!
Gosh, we have 4. Ages 14, 13, 11 and 6. I found 4 to be a tough age with all four. I think there are wonderful, fun aspects to each stage. And then there are the trying times with each stage where you want to pull your hair out. You grow with them and some how figure it out!! The hard part for us with the bigs is middle school, grades and having them try to fit in somewhere. The "baby" just started Kindergarten and that is a challenge b/c she wants to be with mommy. But a few years ago it was different. Just try to find a way to enjoy each stage, b/c as sappy as it is, it goes by way too fast. We are having to look at high school and think about college for our oldest and really, yesterday I was just changing his diapers.
My daughter was a lovely blessing until she hit about 16. Then, we had some problems. I was a single mother and she didn't appreciate the fact that I couldn't buy her all the things her friends had.
She's 25 now with a baby of her own and we get along wonderfully. She is very self sufficient and independent. She asks for my advice. And trusts it.
My 16 year old son is very mellow and respectful and go with the flow. He's been an easy kid all around. SO FAR.
All kids can be a challenge in one way or the other.
Never let them see you sweat.
I was always firm but also had a sense of humor so I didn't have to look like the wicked witch at all times.
Being the mom and the dad, I had to get creative.
You just have to let your kids know that they don't run the show. That's not the way it works. They may not like it, outwardly, but all kids need boundaries and someone to keep them in line. It makes them feel safer and more secure.
There's a time for goofing off and a time when Mommy is serious. They do learn the difference.
Best wishes.
18 months to age 3 has been hard here, but of my 4 kids our oldest are twins and they are 4. (The last 6 months have been way easier with them since they turned 4). In reality I think whatever you are doing feels hard to you at the time and then you look back with goggles.
Whatever Age You're In...or the most recent 'hard time'.
My great aunt told me that 45 is the hardest age to parent.
My daughter is a truly horrible 3 - My son was also a horrible 3 and 4. He is much better at 9
It depends on the child but I would say from 14-18 or so. It also depends on you too and your personality, values, firmness, etc. but for me I found the little ages so much easier and more natural for me to handle. I had to work much harder with teens.
Without reading other posts, I'll tell you about my experience. I have a 16 year old and an almost 19 year old. The 19 year old is in his first year of college. My 16 year old is a sophomore.
My older son was a tempermental child. Gifted, smart, serious. Difficult, too. His intellect would astound me - in 4th grade he could do math in his head that I had to put pencil to paper to do. He was also SO intense - and he could have meltdowns if something went wrong - like if the gameboy didn't save and he lost his "play" on it. That was awful. The stress of competition was too much for him too sometimes - I learned to pair him and his brother against me during games, instead of him against his brother. He would get so upset about losing that he'd play worse, and the worse he'd play, the more upset he'd get, that kind of thing.
This was so hard on me when he was young.
I just kept trying to get him through things. Being consistent. Understanding that he couldn't deal with big changes. He needed to go to bed at the same time everynight - even up until he got into high school. The teen period of not liking anyone at school was hard, too. Magically, his junior year, all that changed when we moved and he went to a new school. He made tons of friends, blossomed into theatre and musicals, became pretty popular in his circle. And got into a great college.
I am grateful that he "grew out of" his difficult temperment. He talks about his younger teens, saying that it was his "hating everything" period, (he doesn't remember his personality when he was younger) and tells his younger brother to "grow up already" and find something special about school so that he'll have a ton of friends too. (My younger son has friends, but they are different than the theatre crowd.)
I don't agree with the "little people, little problems/big people, big problems" remark. I see it as the problems just are different. My younger son had speech and language issues - severe speech issues because of a submucous cleft palate. That was a huge problem, which could have impacted his future substantially. It was one of the biggest things I worked on to help him overcome it. (Seven years of speech therapy.) The thing is, you have to just keep working through stuff. Each stage is different, and you have to learn how to cope with it. Understanding why your kid is going through what they are going through , and what you have to do to help or mitigate the problem, and be consistent about it, is the hardest job you will have as a parent.
Also learning when to stop being a "helicopter parent" and let them fail at some point, is a hard lesson for both child and parent.
Now I am working on learning how to be the mother of a college student who is 16 hours away. That's new territory for me. Whew!
Dawn
So far I've found 3 and 10 to be particularly difficult.
I've only parented to age 5 so far but my experience this far says that age 3 is the worst!
Well, mine are still young--5.5 and almost 3--so I don't know how they will be as teens. My son was a tough toddler with tantrums, constant limit testing, high energy, talks constantly. He has matured a lot between 4.5 and 5.5 but 2 and 3 were really tough (sent home from preschool for fighting!). My daughter is just a more easy going kid so she has been a very sweet 2 year old though she does do most normal 2 your old things that get annoying after a while.
I have heard a lot of things:
"With babies and toddlers it is physically demanding with teens it is all mental and emotional challenges." paraphrased from my mom.
"Boys are hard at the beginning and get easier and girls are easier at the beginning and get harder." I've that from several people and my kids fit so far but it way too soon to tell.
" Toddlers and young teens are very similar emotionally because they often want more independence than they can handle." I don't recall where I heard this but it fits what I know of child development.
I don't know how my kids will be when they are older. I've worked with a lot of kids and teens of all ages. I have seen some very nice teens and some very out of control ones (though most times big problems build for a long time to get really big).
My son was non-stop crazy between 15-20 months, then he calmed down a bit. I don't think I sat down for those 5 months! That age was physically hard for me because I had to constantly chase, pick up, sit down, clean up, hold on to, and clean up my son.
He didn't have terrible two's, he had terrible 3's. And now he's in the f-ing fours!!(At least that's what my Mom calls it!) My Mom tells me 4 was her hardest age for her 3 kids. My son is 4 1/2 and so far the 4's have been the hardest. My daughters have been super easy so far, but they are only 2 and 6 months old. I know I'm gonna be pulling out my hair when they turn into teenagers! I will have 3 kids in high school at the same time :/