I have a five year old boy with a May birthday. I'm having a hard time deciding if I should send him to kindergarten or give him an extra year of preschool. He has signs of ADHD and is socially and emotionally a little immature. However, his academic skills are a little above kids of the same age. Has anyone had experience with this problem?
Hi Dawn, I think having him around kids is own age would be good for him, around the preschool age kids, he will probably act more like a preschooler. Also as a mom myself I don't like it when lables are put on kids, if a child can't sit still, oh they must be ADD, no, they just have a lot of energy. Look Dawn if he starts school late he will be older than his peers, kids can be crul. I would at least give him a chance at Kindergarten. Julie
I would send him to Kindergarten , because of the adhd symptoms. He needs to learn a school structure asap , and preschool won't cut it. Also I rep for a natural food company and we have some great articles about the additive/ preservative food connection between ADHD and Autism . Let me know if you'd like me to forward the articles.
Good Luck,
Jami
Dawn - What ever you do, don't hold your child back just because you are feeling nervous. If you have concerns, have him tested by a professional. It's vital that you express your concerns to your son's teacher. Have open communication with the school.
Hi Dawn,
I agree that the best way to go is to have him evaluated by a professional...If you think that he exhibits some ADHD symptoms, then the best thing to do is to get help early. I do not see this as a "label" so much as a way to identify challenges a child MAY have - a way to help professionals narrow down the overwhelming field of issues that children face. Also, what does his preschool teacher think? I think if you can get a professional opinion, it might be easier to decide what your next step should be...good luck!
Not the exact same problem but I did keep my daughter in preschool an extra year because she wasn't socially mature enough for kindergarten. She'll start kindergarten in a couple of weeks and I am so happy that I went this route. Not only is she more than ready academically, but socially and emotionally she is more than ready. It is up to you, go with your gut! I'm sure either way, he'll do fine!
By the way, my daughter was surrounded by kids her age in preschool 4 year olds and newly turned 5 year olds, otherwise, I wouldn't have kept her there. I don't know how most preschools are but where she is at there is a 3/4 year old room and a 4/5 year old room then a kindergarten room, so the kids are always no more than 6mos apart. I think this is important to add because if your son would be with young 4 year olds and/or 3 year olds if he stayed in preschool another year, then I'd send him to kindergarten.
Michele
I would start him. If he needed to repeat kindergarten it would not be the worst thing in the world, he would just be more prepared the next time. Maybe being around other kids is exactlly what he needs. He might not be as socially or emotionally immature as you think. He might suprise you and blossom in kindergarten.
My daughter also has a May birthday and I put her in kindergarten when she was 5. She had been in preschool in the prior year. My thinking is that his ADHD will not get any better from preschool as they dont really have a academic program that is consistent like kindergarten is.
I would recommend that you put him in kindergarten and let his skills shine thru and I am sure that he will excel.
Just a suggestion, is it an option to put him in a preschool that has Kindergarten? That way, if he does need to repeat Kinder, it will not be at the school that most of the kids will "remember him" 2 or 3 years from now as the one that WAS in our grade, but now isn't. I went to public school, and I still remember one of the boys that weren't THAT young being held back. Even in High School, some of us remembered him being in our Kinder class, and some of the kids were not kind about mentioning it to him. (At times, I might have been one of them, but honestly don't recall being mean to him.)
That would also allow his teacher(s) to assess whether he is ready to stay in Kinder, or if he needs a little more time to mature. If they feel he is not ready 2 or 3 weeks into the school year, they would be able to move him to a better class.
One other thing I wanted to quickly note- ADHD is a symptom of a HIGHLY intellectual person. It is caused by the brain thinking so fast that the consious mind can not proccess the information fully. The brain is "overload" with thoughts, and as a result, the brain tells the body it needs to "move on" both physicaly and mentally. However- other parts of the brain are saying to "finish your task" and the mixed message interferes with a persons ability to fully focus on any of the many tasks going on in the persons mind. Believe it or not, Einstein had ADHD. Check out this list of other famous peopel that had ADD/ADHD http://www.adhdrelief.com/famous.html
In general, I have heard that boys should start school a bit later, but I don't agree for ALL cases.
One last bit of advice- ask his preschool teacher if he/she feels he will be successful in Kindergarten this year or if he needs to wait. The teacher should be able to give you an honest assesment with validating points.
I believe you should send him to Kindergarten. I think you may be surprised at how well he adapts to a classroom setting and working with the other students. A well structured environment may be exactly what he needs. The teacher ought to be able to give you his/her opinion toward the end of the school year whether your son is ready for the 1st grade.
I would send him to kindergarten just for the fact that being bored with the same old lessons/work will add to any acting out/not listening.
I applaud the fact that you are more concerned with his well-being rather than just sending him regardless. Way to go Mom! As a teacher, I see that holding back is usually the best route to go. The students, especially boys, seem to do very well when they are given that extra year. You will find less behavior problems and frustration coming from him in school by giving that year to mature. Also, when he does start he will have a greater academic advantage, and if he does participate in extracurricular activities (future)he will also have an advantage.
I have seen parents want to push their child into school, and yet get upset when their child is reprimanded for social and maturity issues that are naturally not there yet.
Just wanted to point out that most preschool now have a pre-k program for children who need that extra year so I'm sure your son will be with other kids his own age should you decide to give him an extra year.
I know that other have pointed out the stigma of being held back a year but here's another thing to consider. My son is a first grader and during his second semester a couple of kids from kindergarten were moved up into his class. These were kids who had an extra year in preschool but where now socially and academically ready to move up and be with kids their own age.
I have both a son with ADHD who was a July birthday, and a son who was academically advanced (was reading and writing in pre-K) but was socially and emotionally immature who was right at the cutoff. We were told by the July birthday's teachers that he was fine to go, and my instinct with my November birthday child was to hold him back. I have to tell you, I wish we had held the July son back, and I'm incredibly glad we held the November son back. That level of maturity can only help them. As far as the issue of them not being academically challenged, I think it is much better for their self-esteem to be at the top of their class. My November birthday child is considered so much smarter than his brother, even though I believe they are intellectually equal. However, my other son has had years of being considered average versus the November child who has always been told he is very smart. I believe it is better to be emotionally and intellectually stronger than it is to rush them in. Also, I don't think there is as much of a stigma these days as so many kids are being held back. And I wouldn't worry too much about the not being challenged when being held back in pre-K. Teachers see what level children are, and often give more or less work as needed. Our local elementary school actually encourages holding emotionally immature children back, as they believe it is much easier to teach a child who is ready than a child whose birthday tells you they should be in school but may not be. Your children are always going to learn no matter what the setting, but you really want to give him the self-esteem and mindset that he is good at school, and that he isn't a behavioral problem and get stuck with that label. I think that's what you really give them when you hold them back. Hope that helps!
We have a little girl that we started into kindergarten when she was 4...just turning 5. She was academically advanced but socially immature. Fast forward to 4th grade where this really mattered! We were able to keep up academically all this time but socially she's still immature and we had to have her tested for ADD because the teacher decided that must be the issue because she just couldn't pay attention the way the other kids do. This has been a trying year and I've been told it will only continue as we push forward. If I had to do it over again, we would have held her back one more year. Statistically the older kids do far better academically and socially...wish I'd known that then!
Dawn,
Go for the "bonus year" of pre-school. Give him a chance to mature and be socially and emotionally ready for Kindergarten. I did that with my daughter, who has a November birthday and I think it definately a wise choice. I tried to think of it in terms of how starting school early would affect her in the long term and decided that if I waited, she would be ready both socially, emotionally and academically. I also felt that by waiting the extra year, as one of the older students in class, she could be more of a leader than a follower and this could increase her confidence.
Good Luck!
Tiffany
Hi Dawn,
I'll be in the same boat as you next year. My son will just make the cut off by 7 days here in Nevada. When we were in Florida, he would have missed it and it would have been a non-issue. I have a very good friend (she is a teacher) who told me to go a head and move Brady up when the time comes. There is a reason they have the cut off when they do. You can always pull him out and put him back in pre-school and then re-try the next year. My daughter missed the cut off by two weeks and she was more than ready by the time she went on to kindergarten. The benefit for her is when she will start to drive before all her friends. Talk to his preschool teacher and the kindergarten teachers at his new school. Kids do seem to change overnight and he could be completely ready by the time Kindergarten starts. If you feel in your heart it will benefit him to wait, then do. You know your son best of all. Good luck.
I would reccommend him to stay the extra year in pre-school. You will be happier about that decision his entire life. Its better for boys to be a little bit more mature for school.That extra year will make a world of difference in his social skills. He will never know the difference and when he is in highschool. He will like the fact he is the oldest in his class.
I too had this concern about our son, July birthday. He was academically ready, just not sure about socially. We decided to have him start K and if he needed to repeat it, it would be ok. He was 5. Since then, he has done great socially and his academics continue. If a child is strong academically and you hold them back, when they do enter K, they will be extremely bored, and as a result, develop behavioral problems. I would recommend putting him in K and see how he does. Let the teacher know your concerns, so she can also watch his interactions at school. Good luck.
How did he do in the pre-school class? Did he sit when he was supposed to, or was he running around the room? If IN GENERAL he's on task with what the other kiddos are doing---send him onto k-garten by all means! My son is similar--no ADHD, but emotionally immature--I'd say a little below the other kiddos in his class--but scholastically is at the top of the class. It's always a balancing act, and he's in 2nd grade now. But if your son is performing well under the curriculum at pre-K, go forward. If he's struggling with the environment, I'd keep him one more year.