Hi Ladies, I need your help. My even tempered almost five year old has regressed to a tantrum throwing two year old. For example, I just played his favorite game with him, and when it was done, I told him it was mommy's time to lay down and rest...well, he started crying at the top of his lungs "Mommy doesn't love me"...He finds the need to be by my side every hour of the day. If I'm cooking, he must be in the kitchen playing. He won't be by himself anymore. Any idea on what is going on? How can I fix this behavior? It's really getting out of hand.
Did it just start when he found out you were expecting or prior? Either way temper tantrums and him wanting to be with you all of the time probably is just that he wants some extra attention. I think the best way to help him through this faze is to give him what he needs right now. I think the more you try to fight it the more he will want it. Can you sit with him when he is calm and ask him why he is doing this and if something is bothering him. I was always able to get things out of my kids when we were doing something low key and fun. Take him for ice cream just you and him and talk on the way. Sometimes kids don't know how else to express themselves so they act out. Does he go to school? Is someone bothering him there? I know how your patience can run out when you are tired and stressed. It sounds like you could use a little break. I went through the same thing with my daughter. I was also a stay at home mom. When she was young if I took my shoes off to lay on the couch she would flip out and scream "Mommy put your shoes on and play with me" I would get so upset because I was tired. Staying home and raising children is very rewarding but it is also very difficult. I wasn't expecting like you so I think I would really have been at my wits end. My daughter was my second child. There were days she wouldn't even go to my husband. Over time she grew out of it and now I call her a little gypsy. She is twenty years old and lives away at college GO FIGURE!!! I never thought she would leave my side. Maybe when your husband comes home you can catch a little nap and try to refuel. Good luck!!!
Sounds to me like he's just going through an insecure phase and needs you to reassure him that you do indeed love him with all your heart. And with #3 on the way you want him feeling as secure as possible when he/she arrives! Therefore, I would start with the following approach: when he says anything along those lines I would immediately stop what you're doing to hug him. Tell him that you adore him and that he's your "little man". Let him know when he'll get your undivided attention (bath time, story time, tomorrow morning...whenever that will be) and that you need him to be a big boy and do "xyz" for the next few minutes while you finish "abc". Make sure you give him the time you promised when you promised it. Also, let him know that his words hurt you because you never ever want him to feel that way. Tell him he should always know for sure that Mommy loves him very, very much and that nothing he ever does or says could ever change that.
Also consider recent changes - has be started pre-school or K this year? Has anything changed with your other son - is anything going on with him that requires more of your attention leaving this son feeling like he's not getting as much attention? But maybe there isn't anything. If this really is a completely new behavior for him then maybe it just took him this long to go through an insecure phase and if that's the case I say kudos to you! You're doing a great job!
My daughter is 4.5 and I try hard to tolerate her outbursts only because I know that they are almost always my fault. She's either hungry, thirsty or tired. However, I do my best to explain to her that her behavior is unacceptable. Yes, I've been given some interesting looks at the grocery store or restaurant when I used that phrase "your behavior is unacceptable" when she was 2 & 3 but you know what, it didn't take her long to realize that that was her warning. If her behavior continued there were consequences.