Hi, I am a SAHM of three beautiful children. My oldest is a very bright wonderful 4 1/2 year old boy. He will be starting Kindergarden next August, he is growing up so fast. It's a scary world we live in today and he is such a nice, polite, little boy. He talks and trusts everyone and has many friends. I think it's time to start the stranger danger talks. I want him to be aware of bad people and things but I don't want to take away his inocense or scare him. He is such an inquisitive little boy with a big heart. He is sensitive also. I don't want to scare him. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
check out "the safe side" stragner safety dvd. Its upbeat but informative and very wacky. It was created by the baby einstien founder and john walsh/americas most wanted. I have a home daycare and I have the children watch it a couple times a month. It really keeps their attention.
Good luck.
Hello, Danelle. I too have a 4 1/2 year old daughter that will be starting kindergarten in July. I am also worried about the dangers of strangers, and child abductions. My husband and I, are looking into either getting her an easy to use cell phone or walkie talkies with enough range from our home to her school. Fortunately for us, the school is less than a mile away from our house. Most of the communication equipment available are compatible with a 2 to 5 mile range, and of course cell phones, work from anywhere. A cell phone seems to be the better option, but your child must already know how to identify different numbers at sight, so that he can be able to dial the phone number or at least a spead dial number. Other options that we have found, is attending to child abduction prevention programs or obtaining your own home monitoring system. These systems are available. They come in a form of a watch that a child wears (can only be removed with a key), and the parent has a monitoring system at home. Search for more information about it on the web. (ion-kids.com)
I dont think it is ever to early or to late to tell our kids baout stranger danger. I have a 6 and 7 year old that are very polite and loving and I am always telling them not to talk to strangers and what to do if a stranger insists on talking to them. It is just not as safe a world as it use to be when i was a kid. I also grew up ina little country town where everyone knew everyone so living here in ABQ with them has really made me aware of how much i need to prepare them for the real world. I tell my kids daily not to talk to strangers, go anywhere with strangers, accept any food candy or money from strangers and if confronted by a stranger that wont accept "my mom says not to talk to strangers" to run in the opposite direction and find an adult that you know. or come straight home. I hate to say it but i have told my kids about child abduction and child petifiles. Did you guys know that ABQ has lots of sex offenders in alomost every neighborhood and one of the highest child abuse abdu8ction and murder rates for children. That scares me.
I don't think he is old enough to be told that some people are bad. A four year old doesn't understand that. I would wait until he is older (seven is when we had the conversation with my first child) so he can process logically what you are saying. If he is rarely out of your sight and the only time he is gone is at kindergarten, he's not really around dangerous people, so why plant the idea now?
Okay, I have a different focus. Most abuse does not happen by strangers to children. One in four to three children (depending on if the child is a boy or girl) happens by the time a child turns 18. Most abuse happens by someone the child knows. If the child is only thinking that a scary stranger can harm them, they are unprepared to handle something when a parent figure, uncle/aunty (yes women are pediphiles as well), cousin, sibling, teachers, bus drivers, coaches, etc. does something inappropriate. The child is so shocked that nothing comes from their innocent mouths - they close up and closing up with no response is a signal to the abuser to go ahead and abuse. Most use intimidation so nothing is said as we know from listening to ourselves, friends, and people that finally spoke out later in their lives. So, I belive relying on stranger danger alone is setting up a child for harm. Alot of abuse starts when children are less than five. So, don't wait - talk to them now about what to do even if someone they know touches them or talks to them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable (now here it gets tricky because some intimate touch - now think of yourself - feels good to the body and abuses use this against the child, body's response betrays the head of an abused victim - so a child needs to also understand this because if they don't there is guilt and self blame)or in an area that is private.
Yes it is a scary world out there but if we arm our children with knowledge and ways to protect themselves then they have a fighting chance to be okay.
I would love to set up a support group for parents of children who have been abused. Anyone interested? If so, you can contact me at my email address: [email protected]
Hi, I have a 5 year old daughter who started kindergarten this year and my husband is VERY worried about "stranger danger" and I am not so much. However it is a scary world and what we have done is gotten some books from the library/bookstore about the subject. I think that your 4 1/2 year old will probably understand on some level what the story is about. One that I like is The Berenstien Bears stranger danger. My daughter is also the kind of child to talk to anyone and she still is even after talking about strangers. I would not be too concerned about scaring him if you present it in a manner that he can relate with.
Good Luck :)
Erin
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Danelle,
I had asked my brother-in-law this same question last month. I have a 4 year old daughter. He said at this age, you need to just tell them that they need to stay by you always when you are out at the store etc. Don't ever go with anyone unless you are there with them. My brother-in-law is a sergeant for the Lakewood Police Dept in Colorado.
There is a video call "safe side" or On the safe side. By Julie Clark (baby einstein) And John Walsh
Good luck
Sherron
Thanks so much for all the advise. I am definatly going to get the safe side video. I think thats a start. And I’m just going to go from there. Right now he is never out of my sight but I definatly have to have that talk to tell him where to go if he gets lost. I love the suggestion to tell him to go to someone that looks like a mommy if he gets lost. That’s a good idea. Thank you everyone!