He's 6.5 and has always loved the color pink since he was 2. When he was 3 he would verbally say - my favorite color is really pink but I tell other people it's green b/c pink is for girls. Now that he's older, he tells his classmates that his favorite colors are green and pink and the other kids laugh and tease him. When he told me this, he looked like he was going to cry. I told him it's ok for boys to like the color pink. But what should I tell him to say to the other kids that tease him? Obviously, I don't want them to tease him. He said he's not going to tell anyone any more and he'll just say green. Is this a good solution though? I feel it's teaching him that he can't be honest and I don't want that either.
aw poor baby. just love him, mom. it’s his choice if he doesn’t want to tell people - think about it, we all have things about ourselves we don’t tell people. let him know that YOU will love him no matter what. maybe talk to him about who at school he COULD tell that his favorite color is pink. if he can think of anyone, maybe steer him towards those friends instead? but mostly, just love him. he sounds like a really sweet, sensitive little boy. you’re so blessed that he confides these things to you. treasure and protect that relationship.
seriously?
this is an issue so big that you have felt pressured to LIE about your son’s color preferences, and he’s getting bullied about it?
i don’t understand the world sometimes.
and when i read phrases like ‘i tell people it’s green b/c pink is for girls’ i have to wonder if this isn’t just an inflammatory post.
if this is for real, you should immediately stop pouring condemnation on your son’s preferences by acting like there’s something wrong with liking pink, and tell him to say ‘sorry, that’s really none of your business’ if he’s afraid of getting teased at school.
how can you actually worry about teaching him to be honest when you’ve been lying on his behalf?
and lying over such a non-issue.
i was watching rick dempsey report on an oriole’s game last night and commented to my dh how much i liked his pink shirt and hankie combo.
ETA- i DID misread it! my sincere apologies.
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khairete
suz
Rose:
Welcome to mamapedia…
No. Pink is NOT for girls…maybe as an infant, yes…but otherwise? NO.
My son’s favorite color is PURPLE…and he’s 10…he wants purple luggage…do I think he’s gay or a girl? NO!! GET OVER IT!!! And that’s what he tells people who say “purple, really?” He said and has said “It’s MY favorite color. You don’t HAVE to like it.”
You need to talk to the teacher in his classroom - the other kids shouldn’t be teasing him over a FREAKING COLOR!!! He should not have to lie about anything.
Wow, he really should be able to admit what his favorite color is and not be laughed at.
I would work with him and see if you can build up his courage about this. So what if people laugh"… It is silly. We all have favorite things that some people may laugh at. It is the other people that actually have the problem…
I was just reading an article this week about a boy on a football team that was wearing pink gloves. They told him he could not play with the team. So the boy quit. The reason the boy wanted to wear pink? His mother has breast cancer. He is showing he is supporting his mother.
My nephews Varsity football team has a player that wears pink football shoes to support his mother and last season the entire team wore pink , using the sports tape, to show their support of Breast Cancer Patients, survivors and research… …
Your son does not need to have an excuse for what he likes… instead he can be honest.
Colors are just colors… What would be wrong with a boy or man liking pink? Nothing…
Not to be political… but this reminds me of the whole Pres. Obama… thing about people saying he is secretly Muslim… Even though he is NOT… So what if he was Muslim?
So what if Gov. Romney is Mormon?
So what if JFK was Catholic? It is who they are…
Intelligent people are not afraid of differences… heck we embrace it!
Small, frightened people are afraid of different or individuality… They are still acting like the 6.5 year olds your son is dealing with…
Well, it sounds like you’re not very accepting of his love for pink - you, yourself said that “pink is for girls”. I think before you can help him, you need to accept that pink is just that - pink, it’s a color & encourage him to be himself. That’s it.
No, of course him lying about who he is to avoid teasing is obviously NOT good or healthy.
I think Cheryl O gave you some good advice as far as responses to the teasing. He needs to learn coping skills & how to defend himself.
I have never heard of being laughed at for liking pink. Are you sure the reaction isn’t more of how he makes it pink and green because you are embarrassed that he likes pink?
I think if you stop with the pink is bad attitude things will be fine.
In the ‘old days’ pink was considered a boys color, baby boys wore pink while baby girls wore blue. Pigs, flamingos, dolphins, elephants, iguanas and sunsets have pink in them. My son is the same age and he also likes pink. He just tells kids it’s a cool color and they are silly if they have a problem with it. Give your son some historical info on the color, maybe it will make him feel better and give him something to say.
"University of Maryland Professor Jo B. Paoletti, author of book Pink and Blue: Telling the Girls From the Boys in America, considers this was common usage in French orphanages during the 18th century,[14] but this was not the case everywhere. In the United States, there was no established rule:
In 1855 the New York Times reported on a "baby show" put on by P.T. Barnum, exhibiting "one hundred and odd babies" dressed in pinks, blues, and other colors seemingly without regard to gender. ... A Times fashion report from 1880 has boys and girls dressed alike in white, pink, blue, or violet, and another from 1892 says young girls were wearing a variety of colors that spring, including several shades of blue[15]
There are theories indicating an origin of this costume in the 20th century. Zucker and Bradly say that it began in the 1920s[16] and other authors suggest the 1910s.[17] An article in the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department in June 1918 said: “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”[18] From then until the 1940s, pink was considered appropriate for boys because being related to red it was the more masculine and decided color, while blue was considered appropriate for girls because it was the more delicate and dainty color, or related to the Virgin Mary.[19][20][21] Since the 1940s, the societal norm was inverted; pink became considered appropriate for girls and blue appropriate for boys, a practice that has continued into the 21st century.[22]"
Sounds like he had it drummed into his head when he was tiny that pink is for girls. You need to unlearn that and debrief him.
My son is 31 and looks really good in pink. His wife is Asian so she dresses him in pretty bizarre colors at times, pink being one of them.
He wears it like a man 
So sad that kids get teased and stereotyped because of stuff like this… there’s nothing wrong with a boy liking the color pink. No one would give a second though to a girl liking the color blue. I mean , really… why do we have to have “boy” colors and “girl” colors. There’s nothing inherent that says pink is for girls and blue is for boys – gender-specific colors are the result of what fashion magazines told us in the 1950s.
Your son sounds like a sweetie pie. I would build up his esteem in whatever area he is good at or likes (does he like to draw? sports? karate?) and encourage him to be himself. I would give him some comebacks for when kids tease him, like…" who cares…? It’s just a color. What’s your favorite color?" Teach him to speak up for himself.
Kids tease to get a reaction. If your son doesn’t give them one or act like his love for pink is any big deal maybe the teasing will cease.
I’ve written about this before, but when my son was in preschool he had truly no clue what was for girls and what was for boys… he wore costumes every day; sometimes dressed in a cheetah unitard, sometime all red clothes to be a “red"panda”, sometimes in a bear costume. For a period of time he liked having his toenails painted. At one point he decided that he loved red sparkly dorothy shoes. His sister had a pair, but they didn’t fit him. (And she wouldn’t part with them). At his school, in the costume box, he found a pair and they fit him, and one day he came home wearing them. When I asked him why he wore them home he told me the teachers gave them to him. I knew that wasn’t right so the next day I asked. They told me that he said that they were his and he wore them all day, and since no one noticed what he was wearing when he came in (and he was known for wearing costumes) they believed him. He told me that he said they were his because he liked them and he didn’t want to share them with the other BOYS who all wanted a turn wearing them. My point is that if your son is confident about what his choices are kids may razz him, but they won’t rattle him, you know?
Good luck mama~ let your son tell people whatever he wants about what his favorite color is… if it’s too much and he wants to say he loves green instead, be understanding about it and tell him that you understand and he can be free to love pink at home as much as he wants. It really depends on your child, but I love that the two of you have such a lovely connection and he can be open with you about it.
Ah, one of the sexiest men I know wears a bright pink polo on occasion. He looks great in bright colors and it is my favorite shirt on him.
Pink, blue, green, purple, yellow - they are all just colors. It is society that teaches children that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, when, conversely, the opposite used to hold true.
From a 1918 editorial called “Pink or Blue” …
“There has been a great diversity of opinion on the subject, but the generally accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. The reason is that pink being a more decided and stronger color is more suitable for the boy; while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”
My son was, and remains, a slightly different child - he has always had his own drummer. When he had a penchant for Polly Pockets as a toddler, he carried them everywhere. When teased, he simply explained, with young child seriousness, that toys were toys and it didn’t matter what anyone played with.
I am of the mind to explain to your son that he doesn’t have to conform to societal ideas regarding color assignment. That he should be made proud of his choices and not taught to hide his preferences from others. Teach a few facts about the color pink - pick up a few names of strong men who wear the color and teach him those things to say to others in response to their teasing.
Hugs
Tell him to tell them it’s just a color, like any other color, and that the whole idea of certain colors only belonging to one sex or the other is beyond asinine.
It’s not teaching your son that he can’t be ‘honest’ at all, by not adding ‘and pink’ to his “I like green”. Honest doesn’t mean that you have to tell any and everything to everybody. He’s actually done a fairly good job at solving his problem; he will give an answer which will not cause him ridicule.
Is it okay that he gets teased for liking a color associated with girls? no. The answers below address how convoluted this perception already is. But really, here’s the thing: HE is the one who has to spend the rest of the year with these kids. So, he can stick to his “I like pink” and have that become something which defines him (because of the immaturity of his classmates) OR he can decide “you know, asserting this part of my personality isn’t working for me, and I’m going to assimilate a little bit and move on”. In first grade, having a come-back for “ha ha, you like a girl color” is not going to shut down the negative responses. In fact, the more he insists on making this an issue, the harder it will be for those other kids to move on.
Think about it in adult terms. If someone asked me what I enjoyed doing in the evenings, I might answer ‘spending time with my husband’; I likely won’t add on “drinking beer in bed and watching South Park re-runs”. (doesn’t happen often, but it is true on occasion.) It’s good discernment to know how much information to give others, socially. We learn all through life how to guard our hearts by NOT sharing our innermost thoughts with everyone. It will not make him brave to address his classmates, and it will not make him a person with more integrity-- unless HE really wants to drive this train. Otherwise, let him enjoy pink, where and when he feels comfortable doing it; don’t insist he address this repeatedly just to prove a point.
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I would tell my son to say that pink is just a color. Just like any other. Lots of cool things are pink. My sons favorite is yellow. It’s great that he likes such a bold, bright, and happy color.
My son’s favorite color is purple. I thought my (ex) husband was going to cry
Tell him to laugh when kids tease him because they’re missing out on a great color! I don’t like pink, does that make me a boy? Please.
It’s too bad that sometimes we get harsh judgements here. Take them with a grain of salt.
In any case, if it were my son, I would probably tell him to do what he feels. If he feels comfortable to share his preferences with others, than he certainly can. But if he prefers not to because of the reactions he gets, then that is okay too. This is really a great teaching opportunity. I would stress that it is perfectly okay to be/do/like different things than other people (mainstream norms). Explain that sometimes people look different, act different and like different things. Emphasize that you are unique and special and you should NOT change who you are because it is not considered “normal”, and let’s face it, a lot of today’s socially acceptable norms are NOT so great either! AND, I would also use it to teach him that it hurts when others tease you for any reason and that is why we don’t tease others.
Good luck.
Who ever decided that blue is for boys and pink is for girls? Yet society has adopted this and it sometimes is limiting children to a stereotype. I would not discourage your son for liking pink, but for the reality that this world we live in is messed up, and to avoid him getting teased or bullied, let him continue to keep his preference to himself and just not discuss it among his friends.
I highly recommend the “Pinky and Rex” books by James Howe!
A boy whose favorite color is pink has to OWN it in our society. Tell him he can keep his favorite color to himself, tell only people he trusts or tell the world and deal with the haters.