My 7 month old baby boy and I are having a hard time when it comes to sleeping. My husband is away and it has been easier to put my son to bed with me at the same time. He is still breastfeeding and eats about every 3 hours (even through the nite). I would love to sleep in my own bed all by myself and have him sleep in his crib. I have such a hard time hearing him cry that I pick him up whenever I hear any such noise. Any advice helps.
Do you have a baby monitor that you can keep on at nite. I used to set the baby monitor reciver on my nite stand that way I could hear the baby cry.. Most monitors come with 2 cordless recivers that you can take through out the house. They sell the monitors at target and babyrus or places like sears. some are as low as 20 dollars. I used my monitors all the time even when the baby was naping so I could go downstairs and do laundry with peace of mind.
Lenc
mom of two girls 2.5 and 5.
Hey Amber- stop picking him up. With my first son, I was there at any little Peep! It is exhausting. I finally learned that it doesn't hurt my son to cry for a few minutes. I also breastfed my sons. Are you putting him on solids yet? Cereal, fruits, veggies? He is old enough to. At 7 months he should probably only wake up once in the night, so he could be hungry, but more likely than not he just wants to feel you close, and comfort with nursing. That's lovely, until you are so tired you can't see straight. I have been there, my 1st didn't sleep through the night until he was 2! And he breastfed ALL THE TIME! He wasn't even nursing, he was just suckling. Is your son in his own room? I also noticed that when I finally put my son in his own room HE slept so much better as well. Sometimes kids just make a little bit of noise when they sleep, they grunt or mew, and that doesn't mean we need to pick them up, it just means they are noisy sleepers. I understand the need/want to be in your own bed, I am such a better mama when I get good sleep.
Good luck! Laura
I know everyone has very different parenting styles with regards to this type of thing, but I would suggest not going in and picking him up when he crys.
I would however go in and talk in a soothing voice to let him know that you are still there. You could even rub his back or hair while talking to him.
I don't like the "cry it out" method. . .I could never do this with my daughter. She started sleeping in her crib after two months and is still a great sleeper now at 4 yrs old.
Oh, I promise you, you don't want to continue having him in your bed --- his bed is a safe, warm, happy place - it needs to be so - . He '''reads''' your behaviour like a book -- and if your behaviour says - ''oh -waking up in your own bed is scary and I must rescue you''' -- he will believe you. If, on the other hand what you DO -- your behaviour says ''' you bed is a lovely place - we made it JUST for you-- and i'll stand here ( tough, I know) just for a second - and then I'm going to MY safe bed and you are in YOURS - see you in the morning'''' ( children believe our BODY Language 100% - and they read it from birth- I promise) Your husband may be quite resentful if he findds that in his absense- the bed has become a 3-some - I KNOW how tempting- but I'd even put a rocking chair in his nursery so that when he needs to be fed - eachof you can go back to your nice warm safe OWN bed-
yes it is hard- but not nearly as hard as if you allow this bed-sharing to become a habit - breaking THAT is really hard--- unless you and your husband are 100% in favor of a family bed approach--- spare your baby and yourself the nightmare of a really hard time breaking the co-sleeping habit -
Blessings, dear heart-
Old Mom
aka
Judy
Ah, yes... I remember those days. What I ended up doing was taking the recommendation to set a timer. With my oldest daughter, I set it for increasing 5 min. increments, then I would go pick her up. (So, set the timer for 5 min., then go comfort her for a min., set the timer for 10 min., then comfort her, 15 min...) I will admit that the first night I didn't get too much sleep. It was hard for me to hear her cry for the longer amounts of time. The next night, though, she didn't cry for so long, and it continued to get better. With my next daughter, I just skipped to 10 min. increments, and it worked just the same. I realize there are a good many people who have a family bed and that they seem to have perfectly healthy children as well. I think this is a personal issue. I became a single Mom when my daughters were 2 years old and 4 months old, and I desperately needed my bedroom to be my place of refuge. I needed my OWN space. I needed not to have their precious faces be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes in the morning and the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes at night, after being "Mommy" all day long in between. It sounds like you need your own place, too. That is perfectly okay. The best way to be able to give to your son is to make sure you have not been sucked completely dry. I don't know how long your husband is away, but it also depends on how he feels about all of this. Some husbands want their children right there, while some feel like they are made a "second-class citizen" after the children come along. If both of you really want your bed to be your special, romantic place, then please don't feel bad by keeping your little one in his own bed. He knows you love him... you show him that all day long. He may need some cues from you as to how to get his dear little body on a schedule. God bless you all! :)
I think that so many people have this issue, but when it comes down to it, if you just let it go and let him cry for a night or two, things will be much more pleasant for you in the long run...if you don't want to hear him cry, then you may be stuck with the habit that you have started. It is never fun to hear a baby cry, but at 7 months, he should not need to eat every three hours through the night...it's a hard habit to break of course, but it is just a habit - the longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be to break!!!
Good Luck!
I agree that sleep can be quite an issue with little ones, but the easiest thing to do is keep the baby in bed with you (not the wisest). I have had way too many friends fall into this trap. It may be easy now, but it creates a nightmare later. I strongly suggest you reading the book Baby Wise (forgot author). It is an easy read that explains how to correct this behavior at an early age. My cousin used it when her daughter was 7 months and within 3 weeks they were sleeping throughout the night and she created an independent sleeping habit. My friends that neglected to correct the behavior have 3 and 4 year olds still sleeping in their bed. I wish you well and hope you get some good sleep soon. A mom needs to be well rested to chase after little ones!
Are you familiar with co-sleepers? They are cribs that have one side open, and that side fits up against your bed and attaches to it, sort of extending your bed. Then you can put baby in it, and he's "within arms reach", but you still have your bed, and you don't have to get up at night to get him... We used one for our two sons and loved it. When we "kicked" our older one out of our room at 11 months, it wasn't bad at all. By then he wanted to play when it was time to go to sleep. We had tried at 9 months and he didn't seem ready, so we tried again at 11 and didn't have problems. The second guy didn't like being in bed with me anyway, so it was easier giving him the boot.
Buy Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.
Both my kids slept through the night (9 hours) by the time they were 10 weeks old.
Another book to consider is Babywise by Ezzo and Bucknam.
Hi Amber,
Let me say I think you're doing a fantastic job. While the need for you to sleep is important you are responding to the needs of your baby gently and with sensitivity.
There's many reasons a baby gets up/nurses in the night. He might be hungry, lonely, thirsty, uncomfortable, trying to process all the amazing milestones he's making right now (teething, grasping, crawling, babbling, you name it!). Lots of things disturb their sleep. Crying is the only way they can communicate right now, and to ignore it completely is to tell him he cannot rely on you to meet his needs. So you're doing the right thing by responding to his needs.
I have a 9.5 month old who slept through the night for the FIRST TIME last night in her crib, at 7 mo she was like your baby, up to nurse every 2 hrs or so, in bed with me. I've read ALL the books because I work full time and for several months there was only getting about 3 hrs sleep. The one I found most useful was The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. She has amazing recommendations for helping, in a loving and gentle way, your baby to learn to fall asleep on his own, settle himself back to sleep when he wakes up, and it works for crib or co-sleepers too.
Yes, babies do wake up and grunt and even can cry and still be asleep, but you know when your boy needs you. He will sleep in his crib/bed alone some day, some day soon he will not nurse. This is a short (but exhausting) time and you're doing a fantastic job. Good luck and here's wishing you and him better sleep.
Ashleigh
Hi Amber! I will just share with you what worked well with my girls. I had them in a bassinet in my room for 3 months, then to the crib. They of course cried, and what I would do is go in the first time I heard her cry and I would not feed her, but I would rock her and soothe her then put her back in her crib, and let her cry, then if she was still crying after 15-20 min. I would go back in and rub her back to soothe her, and not pick her up, and then I would let her cry it out after that. This way you are weaning them off feeding during the night, and you are not completely abandoning them. I think it took about a week with my first and about 2 weeks with my 2nd, and they were sleeping through the night. Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do!
Dear Amber,
Are you open to the Ferber method, often called the "cry it out" method? I am a person who has worked with children for over 25 years and as a mother found that I felt completely certain that crying it out was not harmful. Not harmful to the attachment of parent and child. I can speak from experience of being a tired, sleep deprived mother of twins, that now at 5, they are good sleepers and I am a well rested mom, who meets their needs and all seem to be well attached, from my biased opinion. So, if you are, I imagine you will get advice in both directions. If you want to know more about it, and how I did it,in a way that felt loving. I'd love to share more.
Mary
I had this with my first born the first night he came home. We put him in his bassinet in our room. It was terrible. He grunted and made noises all night long. So the second night we put him in his room down the hall. We heard him when he was really noisy for food, but not just making noises. Try putting him farther away from you in his bedroom. You won't hear him so much.
of course he's going to cry! he's gotten used to 7 mos. (?) of bliss sleeping with mommy and now you want to take that away from him? :)
the best thing to do at this stage is try and establish a new routine. at 11 months, my girls were still getting up 2x a night and sleeping with my husband and me most of the time. so a new routine had to be established! every night i sing the same lullabyes while sitting in the rocker, do the same good night to everyone speech, turn on their ocean wonders aquariums that i bought just for their routine and put them down. i will not lie the first 3 nights were torture for them and me. they'd cry and i'd give them 5 minutes. then i'd check on them, tell them they were okay, hug them and tell them i'd check on them again. then i'd wait 10 minutes. and start the process over. then 15 and so on. the first night the process took 30 minutes. each night got easier. it is crying it out but letting them know i'll always be nearby to check on them didn't seem to hurt me as bad. (we've yet to see if it has left any irrepairable damage on them!) by night 3 they were going down with just a wimper and bedtime has been great ever since. when they would wake up to nurse i wouldn't bring them to bed with me, i'd nurse them in the rocker. after awhile they realized we wouldn't be going back to my bed and that stopped within a couple weeks. now when they cry in the night i know it's because something is wrong...nightmare, teething, earache, etc.
it was tough but mommy and babies are better sleepers because of it and that makes all of us happier people during the day. good luck to you.
welcome to motherhood.. they are only baby once and enjoy every minute of it.. he won't be sleepin with you for a long time.. I breastfed all my four kids.. Thank God!! they are healthy and smart.. I think that breastfeeding got to do a lot of it.. All I can say is patience is the key word and lots of love.. The children that are breastfed are more loving and caring to their parents. God bless! I will be praying for you.. Mira
Hi Amber,
Have you tried putting him to bed a lot earlier than usual, like 7pm? He might be so tired by the time you and him go to bed that he can't get to sleep easily. Also, if you make sure he eats a lot during the day he might not wake up throughout the night to eat. Another thing that helps is to have him play in his room during the day so that he doesn't feel he has been left in a strange place. Taking naps in his crib should also help him understand that it is a nice place to rest.
Me: SAHM with 9 month old baby boy who sleeps through the night on most nights :)
My mom said that giving baby a little bit of rice cereal before bed helps them sleep longer (stays in the tummy). At 7 months, he should be old enough for it.
I would say that you have two choices: commit to co-sleeping until he's 1 to2 years old old or start working on getting him used to sleeping in his crib through the night which at the time of getting him to sleep seperately at any age will take time, patience, love and consistance. I nursed my boy until he was 16 months old with him sleeping with me in my bed until he was about year old. When I felt comfortable with him being in his crib all night. When he would wake up I'd nurse him and put him back in his crib. If he awoke shortly after again I would hold him and rock him with out nursing, then put him back. This went on and on for a while because of course he did not want to sleep in his crib. He wanted to sleep with me.
You might want to make sure also that he's getting enough milk when he nurses, maybe nurse him at bedtime until he falls alseep. I don't know if you have him eating baby foods now along with nursing but feeding him an avacodo might fill him up before bedtime along with nursing.
I hope this helps, you can always call your doctor's nurse too and talk with him/her. They might have some good advice as well.
7 months and still nursing every 3 hours?? I'm thinking that this is for comfort on his part and not because he's hungry.
somehow, you need limit the feedings. Have you tried a binky?
It maybe diffeent and he may reject it at first. I feel so bad for you, this has to be rough. I'm sorry that I don't have more advise for you.