scared to send her to school

moms, i've feel i've messed up, i've been homeschooling my daughter all her life, she is now 6 and about to start 1st grade. She knows her alphabet, reads a bit but not fluently, other than that she is advanced in her math and can count to 100, she is very mature, i feel a little too mature. Her knowledge of life and common sense are surprisingly fantastic. I am worried about her reading, and time is running out.

I reallllllllly don't want her to end up in the special classes just because one facet of her education is lacking.

realistically what should i expect?

Hi Amanda-

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are sending your daughter to public school for 1st grade this fall? My son just completed 1st grade in Conroe ISD and based on where he was when he started 1st grade I'd say your daughter may be slightly behind, but not to any extreme. A lot is going to depend on your district so my suggestion would be to contact the principal of the school and talk to her/him. Even if just via email, she may be able to help you feel more confident about your daughter going to 1st grade. To my knowledge the schools no longer have "special classes" just because a child is slightly behind. To get any kind of special help in schools these days you have to be diagnosed with a learning disability and even then it's hard to get services (I know, I have a son who does not qualify for services even with a diagnosis.)

Does she know the common sight words? You can find them at http://www.theschoolbell.com/Links/Dolch/Dolch.html

She'll most likely be working on these throughout 1st grade but you could give her a head start.

Good luck!
Karen

Mom, take a deep breath. Your daughter sounds like she is going to do great! First graders are all over the place in reading. Some are still not reading. If she is behind in her reading (which I doubt she is), I am sure she will catch up in no time.

She is probably very mature, but wait till she gets to school and meets children that have older siblings! Or children that have siblings that have special needs. They are also very mature all in different areas.

I was a PTA President at an elementary school. I saw all sorts of families. The kids all did great in these new situations, it was the parents that had the most emotional reactions. Do not let your child see or hear you expressing any sort of anxieties about any of this.

Instead focus on how well she is going to do and how much fun school is. All of her new friends. Having a wonderful teacher and classroom. Getting to eat in the cafeteria. Getting to take music, art and gym classes.

Remember to take a picture the first day of school, maybe on your front porch with her backpack. At the end of the day, see if you can also request that she get her picture with her new teacher. Try to do the front porch photo every year. It is fun to look back and see her posed in the same way all through her school years.

i am homeschooling my son also, who is 6, and we have just started first grade. we are doing a highly respected curriculum (bju press). i can tell you to not worry at all, the first 3 weeks have all been reviewing the first 30 numbers, writing them, saying them, drawing them in the air, adding one and subtracting one.
language arts has been learning colors and color words, letters of the alphabet and reading words such as it, on hat cat etc.
dont worry at all, she will not be behind in any way.

you could continue to homeschool also, there are so many support groups in the area.

My youngest finished 1st grade last May and I agree with Laurie. I had a lot of apprehension and he did just great!

Plan on doing as much reading in the coming year with your daughter as you can. Don't hesitate to ask the teacher for book recommendations. My son's teacher gave us some very nice easy-to-read paper books and it was (still is) fun seeing (I mean hearing) him recognize more sight words and be able to "read to me". It turned into a fun way to show how it was to show how much more of a Big Boy he is becoming.

My son is actually doing some writing! Most of it is mimicking what he sees on TV shows and hears from his older brothers! I enjoy watching him explore new words.

Communicate with your teacher! Take the first step by asking for a Parent-Teacher conference early. Even just getting a chance to voice your concerns and hearing what he/she sees in your child. I'm willing to make a bet that you will hear the reading won't be a problem, that your daughter is making good progress, and even how best to help from home.

Good luck!

www.starfall.com is a great reading program (free!) that your daughter can use that's fun and can move her quickly through basic reading levels.

It sounds like you've already started doing a wonderful job preparing her for life. Please remember that reading level is not necessarily what grade level is, and you are not a failure for not having a fluent reader before entering the first grade. Fluency comes with practice and there are so many skills involved, not everyone is wired to master this at such a young age. My guys read fluently at different ages (not all in the first grade...) and I was glad for the extra time homeschooling gave us for mastering this out of the public eye (grandparents were enough :)

I've found that the times I have most anxiety (like what you've expressed) are when I anticipate my child will be compared to others, and fear them coming up short. I don't think this is something that is exclusive to home schooling, however.

I had to laugh when a friend sent her children for the first time after spring break, just as everyone in the public school was cramming for the TAKS. Somehow the school gave this mom the impression that they "caught her children up to speed" in the few weeks before he took the test...it was like she had totally discounted all the hard work she did, and learning he did, that went on before he went to school. (He ended up doing quite well from what she said and she took no credit.)

I know reading experts in the AISD, if your child does need help I know they'll be really professional and helpful. I think everyone is pretty sensitive to labeling...I'll leave that for someone else to say whether they feel this is around.

As for me, my guys are going to a grandma down the street, who is making them read before playing the wii.
Just helping her practice in fun ways will help with her confidence and you with your fears.

Blessings to your new adventure!

Amanda,
Are you considering placing your daughter in Public school? Well, if you are, (if it is a good school) they will work with her and get her to the level she needs to be. Don't worry so much, she is only 6 yrs old. she will be perfectly fine. My Daughters are 9 and 7 and my oldest has always had reading problems, but they work very closely with her so she doesn't get too behind, and it helps.

Just curious- have you considered continuing to teach her at home? Every child has different strengths and weaknesses and you can help her grow at the right pace for her if she stays at home.

My girls are 6, 5, 4, 2. They have always been at home as well. My 5 YO is a WONDERFUL reader. She can read on a second grade level. My 6 YO has a harder time with it, though. She is great at math! I can ask her "If you had one quarter, a dime, a nickle, and three pennies, how much money would you have?" My 5 YO can't do that.

I know there's a myth that every child has to know the same things as the other children of the same age, but there's only one reason for this- the traditional school system which has never been proven to be more effective then schooling to the individual, only more EFFICIENT. After all, one teacher cannot teach a class of 20-30 children to their specific needs. YOU CAN!! I can guarantee you that there are children in every classroom who can't read as well or doesn't understand a math concept or zones out during history and geography. We are all unique with special talents and interests and homeschooling is the BEST way to encourage them (and to help with the weaknesses!)

At the end of the school term I printed a first grade entrance exam off the internet. I administered them separately to my 5 and 6 YO. They passed 100% with the exception of understanding the values of the coins. My 6 YO understands it, and I'm working with my 5 YO. It's my expectation that they will both be on the first grade level when the new school term begins, but they will still be at home.

Sarah

Hi Amanda! I taught kinder for 5 years, took 2 years off to stay home with my 2 daughters and am going back to teaching kinder this school year. By the end of kindergarten we expect children to be phonetically writing and reading (such as writing the word balloon "balon" because that is how it sounds) and reading easy read, predictable books. Please don't be worried, it sounds like you have done a wonderful job and from what you have said she is exactly where she should be. Your child's first grade teacher should not expect her to read fluently yet, that is part of the curriculum for 1st grade. Relax and just make sure you are keeping up with her teacher and helping her with her homework at home. She will do great!

In my opinion RELAX! Kids learn so fast she will do great in first grade! I have a 6 yr old going into first grade as well. Enjoy them. Its kind of like moms stressing about potty training.....I dont know many 20 yr olds that are not potty trained or dont know how to read! Enjoy her!

They aren't really reading when they go into first grade yet. Maybe a word here and there. I would not worry. By the end of first grade she should have learned quite a bit. If she's picking up things well there shouldn't be a problem. You can also check online for the school she will be going and see if you can print off the site words for kindergarten and first and that should help. That's mainly all they are doing at the beginning. I have 3 children all in school. So hopefully that helps. Calm down and everything will be just fine. Just be sure to help her when she gets home from school at least at the beginning so you can get a better idea of where she stands in her class.

It sounds to me that she's right on track. My 6-yr-old daughter is also entering 1st grade. She went to Pre-K part-time and Kinder last year. She can count to 101, knows how to read a little, etc. Pretty much exactly as you described your kiddo. The first 6 weeks involves catching all the kids up to the same level (remembering what they did last year) anyway, so if she's behind in any subject, she'll catch on quickly. Unless she is having severe learning deficit--and it doesn't sound like she is--the 1st grade is not going to put her in any 'special class'. I don't think you need to worry.

I found some free kindergarten exit tests online for my daughter. I homeschooled her for K and wanted to see if she was ready for 1st grade. One of them is from a Muslim school I guess---I just disregarded the religious aspect:
http://www.dpi.state.nd.us/title1/resource/select/math/testK.pdf

http://www.iqracenter.com/exams/Final_KG_Exam.pdf

http://kindergartencce.wikispaces.com/file/view/K+Math+Diag+0809.doc.

Relax. Most first graders can't read yet. The teacher will be working on the steps to reading in first grade. Social skills and common sense are huge, huge advantages to a first grader. Congratulate yourself on helping guide her successfully in that area.

Quit panicking!! They go to school to LEARN-and kids at that stage are ALL over the place with regards to reading. I remember my son's Pre-K teacher really wanted him to be held back because he wasn't interested in reading or his letters. He did just fine in Kindergarten but was not really reading by the time he got to first grade. Just wasn't interested. Somewhere between first and second grade he took off. At the end of second grade he was reading fluently-a real surprise to me! In third grade on the Iowa skills test he scored in the 98 percentile for both Vocabulary and Reading Comprehension-he was reading at a 6th grade level. He's 17 now and his room is scattered with the most amazing assortment of books- he loves to read. I think reading to your child is the most important thing you can do to help her along. And - I do have a dyslexic child- they don't even start "special" classes for delayed readers until the end of 2nd grade usually (unless there is a HUGE problem evident earlier) because so many kids are at so many different levels coming into first. Remember - Kindergarten is not required in Texas so there may be kids in your child's first grade class with NO prior instruction. Be kind to your first grade teacher and give her lots of support- she has an amazing task ahead of her!!! (And personally I think so many people/school systems focus on teaching things early rather than well, that sometimes the information is presentd before most kids are truly ready to receive it.) Good luck!

Hi Amanda,
Don;t worry, send her to school. She is "not behind" in her learning and she will catch on very quickly. Especially since she is as bright as you claim.

If she struggles at first you can help her- she will be fine.
good luck and blessings

My son will be entering 1st grade this fall. School has changed so much since I was in school. I just would like to share with you what he learned. I was very surprised how much is actually taught in Kindergarten. My son's classroom had a small class ratio. My son reads very fluently and so do most of his classmates. Amazing progress from the beginning of the school year.

They were taught to record ideas in writing on a regular basis, measurements explaing halfs and whole parts etc, mastering uppercase/lowercase letter writing, reading calendars such as the days, weeks,months. recognizing shapes in real life, History like holidays explaining and identifing them, historical figures. Science was taught by learning technolgy used in homes, identifing and describing. All the kids got computer time playing on starfall.com. Math, adding and subtracting, word problems. Art was taught by learning about Van Gogh, etc. I could go on and on.

A real eye opener for me. I'm very happy with the curriculum at my son's school as it keeps my son very challenged and the school is not private. Good Luck, children are sponges and have so much potential, have faith.

Don't worry about her reading . . . all children develop their skills at differnt rates and it sounds like she is in the "superior" classification of all other aspects of school (for 1st grade).

My daughter was in public school all her school years and, due to what we the school system finally agreeded was dyslexia, she didn't read "fluently" until at least 3rd grade but was NOT put into any "special ed" classes.

YOu will be amazed when she starts "not-at-home" school, she will probably jump righ in with if not aheaad of the others.

If you are concerned, just keep an eye on things and keep in contact with her teacher/school. . . they are always happy to see a concerned (not blaming) and supportive parent.

Deep breath, she will be ok and so will her reading skill.

First of all, she sounds more advanced than my son who has just been promoted to first grade at the best promotion requirement when it comes to reading. He struggled hard to get there. So, I wouldn't worry about her reading level at this point. If she struggles, they won't put her in special ed classes just because of that. They might provide a tutor for extra help, only because the teachers don't have time to provide that smaller group help that is needed many times. My son did this and it didn't bother him at all.

Secondly, you, the parent, have rights to what classes your kid is in. No child can be put in special ed, ESL(English as a Second Language), bilingual, or any other programs with a parent denial letter. Your daughter has no mental retardation or learning disabilities I presume. Therefore, she would not even be a candidate for testing for special ed. And, even if she did qualify, you have the right to refuse the help. They are required to provide the opportunity. You are allowed to deny it, in most cases. I think the exceptions would be for students that are severely handicapped and could not function in a typical classroom environment. Everything will be all right.

When my daughter was in first grade they had to know how to read a little bit, but mainly know their sight words. You can buy a pack of flash cards at wal-mart and practice them at home. I found them in the same isle as the leap pad stuff but at the end of the isle in a little red box that says beggining sight words. I kept almost all of the stuff they had to do in kindergarten and one of those things was a list of sight words that they had to know, but I only have the list till February of the school year. but they are: "I, am, like, can, me, a, see, too, to, my, you, said, for, the, we, are, he, at (and at words like cat, rat, bat, sat etc.) go, so, day, all, out, up, it, and, on, in, look, like, is, do, what, where, but, got, they, had, was, of, went, then, were, she, with, her, that, have, has, when, there, as, his, one, pencil, teacher, book, and the names of the colors and numbers up to ten. I think that if your daughter can read and write these words she should be ok. I also kept some of the story books made of paper that they had to read during the year. I can scan them and email them to you or I can fax them to you if you'd like so you can have an idea of what they are reading by the time they go to first grade. Just send me a message with your info and I'll send it as soon as I can. Good luck and I wouldn't worry, it sounds like she'll be ok as long as she reads a little.