Ok, so one of my family members has 2 kids, we will call them Torin and Sonny (they are very young). Last year Torin seemed to get sick, and when mom brought him in she told us that the Dr. thought he had Cancer... Then we had to take the baby into the ER later that night because he wouldn't eat and was crying and such. Long story short, mom wouldn't let us in the room when she talked to the dr, and then came in crying saying the baby had cancer....Rewind, dads not around. His time with the boys has been sketchy from the beginning. He has some of his own issues, and from our perspective until recently, they were issues that made it not ok for the boys to see him much. Ok, back to mom- We found out (with hard evidence) that mom LIED from the beginning about the baby ever being sick. He NEVER had cancer. (this was after fundraisers and constant time with the kids) She also continued this lie after she was confronted. I'm at a loss. I'm worried about the kids safety. I need to know if there is any place I can go that would be willing to listen to the details of this story aside from Child Protective services....(let's just say I need more than that) Any ideas on what to do? This was not the only lie she's told by far and has at least a few people fooled who are close to her.... It's so sad. HELP!!!!!! (oh yes, and she's lied about Dad and now he can't hardly even see the kids....)
Sorry to sound harsh but she sounds like a total whack job...you need a family intervention asap. If nothing comes of that, I think your only option is to go to CPS and see what they can uncover. You can be a witness in court for the kids if needed.
It's a disease - the parent or whoever the person is - daughter, son, etc. gets attention and sympathy from people when their loved one is PRESUMED sick..
If there are bruises or you see mom doing something to make the child sick - there are people that do that - there was a woman in Florida -
that was actually convicted of it and lost her child/ren...
it's a hard thing to do - but really? you need to step up and intervene...it might make you out to be the bad guy but the health and welfare of the children are at stake...I don't envy you your position...
I agree that calling the police is an option. If she did fundraisers for this child and took the money and used it...uh, that's stealing and fraud. Call the cops. Other than that you don't have a ton of options. Do you think she could have Munchausens or do you think she's just crazy and greedy? I think CPS is really the best option.
Fortunately or Unfortunately... this is a police &.or CPS matter.
No one else can get into the child's medical records, legally. It may just be that mom is "ignorant" (I cannot TELL you how many people latch onto some completely incorrect IDEA about what might be wrong with their children and proclaim it as the truth), or it could be Munchausen By Proxy, or it could be simple straight fraud. (It's arguably not fraud if she was acting in good faith "believing" her child was sick when they weren't).
No one without full access to the child's medical records is going to be able to get to the bottom of this.
Call CPS, explain what has happened, and ask for their advice. CPS takes Munchausen By Proxy VERY seriously, since it's one of the higher causes of child death from their parents (after abuse and neglect), although it's a very rare disorder (and is one reason doctors often have to call CPS, not for signs of abuse, per se, but because a parent is convinced their child has a certain illness, when there is no medical sign of it. In rare disorders, it's THE reason to go to a children's hospital, rather than a ped or regular hospital, because parents of children who are legitimately sick DO get CPS called on them. But parents with Munchausen By Proxy will actually MAKE their children sick in order to receive the attention. And sicker. And sicker. Typically by poison, malnutrition in one specific area, or torture. EX: You can cause heart problems in your child by repeated shocking their system with an ice bath. No outward signs, but the heart will weaken and become damaged. Overdosing ANY vitamin will damage certain other organs, as will withholding specific vitamins).
Whether it's Munchausen By Proxy, or straight Fraud.... this is a matter for professionals.
She's committed criminal fraud and it sounds like it could be Munchaussen's by Proxy. If you don't feel comfortable calling CPS, then I think you're obligated to call the police and tell them the entire story with all of your concerns and the details. You can request that you remain anonymous in the report, and absolve yourself of being the one that calls CPS since the police are mandated reporters. They'll do an initial investigation and then if everything checks out per your story, they'll report her to CPS which will get involved immediately. She'll be able to get mental health help that she desperately needs.
EDIT: I just saw your update. If you know for a fact that she committed the fraud and accepted money from donations for a child she claimed has cancer but doesn't, there ought to be a paper trail. Police can investigate and find out who she's told, who's given her money, where the money went, etc. They can subpoena records to see if the child did or did not have cancer and whatever else they need. Turn over whatever hard evidence you have to the police. They can use it in the investigation. If you have proof of abuse, give that to the police. The more she's reported, the more that can be done.
Also, if you have knowledge that she committed fraud and don't report it, you could be considered an accomplice after the fact or complicit in her crime. Just saying.
Here's the thing. If you KNOW (by first hand info) that the children are being harmed you have a legal obligation to notify CPS. The lies themselves are not harmful to the children, but are scarily close to Muchausen Syndrom by Proxy, in which a mother will intentionally make her child sick for the attention. Meaning they will poison, etc. the child to create sickness. Unfortunately just having a crazy mom (even this crazy) isn't CPS worthy. While you are legitimately concerned, and I totally get you not wanting to wait until the kids ARE hurt, BAD, before contacting authorities ack yourself if you are comfortable being responsible for the children being in foster care OR never seeing them again if they aren't and mom finds out it was you.
To answer your exact question though, CPS is it..... no one else has authority to step in.
If you know or sure the baby does no have cancer and she took fundraiser money that's a crime report her! If mom is in jail protective services will step in.
Thanks for your advice. But the truth is that there is sooo much more to this story than this. The kids are not in a healthy environment, but it seems that they have to be physically hurt before anyone will step in. I wouldn’t be asking this question if CPS wasn’t already called. But this lady is a liar and has some (not many, but enough) people who believer her. What she needs is help. Family meetings and offers of help have been denied to the point of her ignoring those who are trying to help her all together. I am totally worried for the children. Is there anyone out there who know somewhere that would advocate for the kids to get them into a safe environment? I would totally be willing to step in if necessary…