I have been separated for almost two years and in the process of finalizing my divorce. My children, especially my 5 year old, is having difficulty coping. I wanted to put her into therapy to help her deal with her issues. She has pretty much adjusted to my separation with her father. He continues to have limited involvement with the kids. My concern is that he is not sensitive to her or my boys' adjustment to his relationship with his girlfriend. He is in the process of moving in with her, and my daughter has become emotional and has had a few "accidents", which is my clue that she's having trouble coping. I have spoken to her father but he is not sensitive to their needs. He gets defensive when I suggest that he should be more aware of their feelings. My lawyer suggested that I find a therapist who can act as the boundary setter, and lay down rules for us as far as dating and relationships are concerned, in order to protect these kids. Does anyone know of any good therapists?
I strongly recomend Apple Family Works, (Patricia Saunders) in San Rafael. My daughter has been in therapy since she was five due to a divorce and Patricia is by far the best therapist she has seen.
Hi Leah,
You are very smart in recognizing that your children could use some extra support during this trying time.
As a Mamasource member and a psychotherapist, I often see children who are having to cope with their parents' divorce process. By providing them with a place and a relationship outside the home where they can learn to relax, express their feelings, and learn healthy ways to cope, they can feel more secure and less frightened.
Working with the parents is also an important part of child therapy. As you mentioned, boundary-setting and rules, plus better communication, are essential as you move into the role of co-parents.
If you like, you can view my website at: www.jrtmarintherapy.com. Please let me know if I can be of help. I wish you the best.
Jessica Tsukahara, MFT, RN