My husband is receiving a free trip to Maui for him and I for December. Our daughter will be 2 at that time, and we're trying to decide whether or not to go. I would LOVE to go, and know it would be great for us to have some time together. The trip is 7 days. We could leave her with my sister, who has young children and our daughter is comfortable in their home. However, I don't know if I could handle being away from her! I've never been away overnight, and I know even though she would be well-cared for and happy, I get sick at the thought of her crying for "mamma" and wondering why her dad and I aren't there anymore. If it were 3 or 4 days it would be easier. My question is, do you think at 2 she would be old enough to understand, or is it something that would cause her to lose her trust in me? Also, we've thought about taking her with us, but would have to pay for her part of the trip, and since there are some meetings, activities planned for his work we wonder if that would work out. Any suggestions, experiences would be helpful! Thank you!
i say, go for it!! what a fun time you and your husband will have to reconnect!! if you trust your sister and know your baby will be happy and cared for take advantage of the opportunity. she will have fun bonding with her aunite and cousins and you will come back re-charged and be ready to take on your parenting duties again. i doubt this will have any lasting negative effects on your girl. call a couple times during the trip and bring her some cool things home.
Hi,
I say go for it. You will miss her and she will miss you guys, but what a fun trip for you and your husband. My husband and I went for a week to Mexico when our first son was 20 months old. He stayed with our parents and had a fun time. We also went for 5 days a week after our second's sons first birthday for a destination wedding (husband was a groomsman). Our children had fun with grandparents both times and we had time to spend with each other. I was ready to go home both times because I missed the boys, but still had a great time!
Hi Emmy
Yes! Sounds like you trust your sister and the environment is good. Have you asked her?
You CAN handle being away from her. She will ask where you are but the other children will be keeping her so busy, she may not notice. She will not lose trust in you but may be a little cool when you come home. She will probably not remember you being gone - but you will be a better person for giving yourself a well deserved break.
I would be careful about talking with her on the phone, may make it harder for your sister to explain why you are not there. You have to judge that. I would be mindful of the time you are calling and not call before bedtime. Do it during the day so when she gets off the phone with you she will have an activity to keep her busy and not think about why you are not there. Just to make it easier for your sister.
I have been a stay at home/work from home mom for the past 18 years. When my husband and I had an opportunity much like yours to go to Hawaii, I worried about the same things. Our children were older and remembered well. Your daughter is only 2. It will not scar her. You are leaving her with someone she knows and loves. She may not even remember you were gone after a while and you can say "Remember when you stayed at Aunties?" Then she will have a happy memory. Our children were not angry and appreciated us a whole lot more. Their biggest complaint was that they had leftovers every day. Not possible, as I did not have enough food in the house for leftovers for 10 days for 5 people. My parents, god bless them, came to our home and took care of our 3 children, one with special needs. It had been over 10 years since we were alone on a vacation or any overnight. For a change, we put ourselves first and it was a god send.
Of course, they were on my mind every day, and we called to check in, but it everything was fine. It was really great for us as we reconnected like we had not done in many years.
Good luck, I hope you choose to go and have FUN!
Smiles, Joan
Your 2 year old will be fine if she is staying with someone she is familiar with. It sounds like you are having more anxiety over leaving your daughter than she will experience. I would take the chance to have a great getaway with your husband. You have to remember that this opportunity may not come along again for some time. Take a deep breath and go. Call home and check in but don't have any doubts and enjoy yourself.
Emmy,
We left our first daughter at 18 months, our first son at 16 months and our fourth child at 20 months so we could go on "second honeymoons" together. We always left them with responsible adults they knew and they were just fine. Of course I missed them. Before I left and the first day gone were the hardest for me. Then I adjusted and had a really good time. Of course the young toddlers were a little confused at first, but kids are so resiliant. They adjusted quickly (no crying for us) and it was a wonderful reunion when we returned. This is a great opportunity and your little girl will be just fine - you should take it!
Good luck,
Shellie
A FREE trip to Maui-GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!! We left our 4 month old for 3 days to continue our traditional camping trip (tent); when she was about 3, my husband earned a free trip to Mexico--she stayed with Grandma and Grandpa--when we called home, she didn't even want to talk to us b/c she was having soooo much fun at their house. When we met at the airport she was very excited to see us, but then was mad we were going back to OUR house--it was funny. I'm sure there will be some responses of "how dare you leave your child home" but if you trust the person she is with, she will be fine. You have to know your personality, and your daughters. I think you will regret not going on the trip! I've been lucky to have been to Maui twice--do not pass up the opportunity. Have you done any shorter trips without your daughter? You may consider doing that before this trip--maybe start with one overnight; and then perhaps a long weekend if your sister is willing.
Start shopping for swimsuits!! You might feel better about leaving her if you do a trial run first. Have your sister take her for one night and see how she does. Chances are she may miss you for an hour or so but then she will be so busy being in a new place, with other kids, different toys, etc.
Go and have fun!!
I am actually on a trip right now without my 16 month old little guy (he's at home with Nana and Papa). It's so nice to get away. Don't get me wrong, I miss him! But like you said, it's great to have some time just the 2 of us. Just make sure your sister (or whoever you leave her with) has plenty of activities planned... keep her busy so she won't have time to miss you! She will have fun (and won't lose trust in you...) and you will be able to relax and have some fun yourself.
ENJOY YOUR TRIP!
I agree with everyone - go and have a great time. My husband and I went to Africa for 12 days and left our two year old with her Grandma. She has a great time with her and visiting her Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. The couple of times that we used Skype to talk to her, she could have cared less. We have been leaving her for overnights since she was three months old. I loved going to my grandparents during the summer when I was younger and loved going to summer camps so I want her to experience the same things. I want her to be comfortable leaving us and spending the night at different places. We will always be there and miss her while she is gone but it is a great experience for her. Enjoy your trip and have fun with just the two of you. If you have not had an overnight alone in two years, you deserve it and it will be great to rekindle your marriage. Concentrate on the two of you for awhile and remember life without a child!
Emmy,
Oh my goodness, GO! She'll be FINE. In fact, she will have a wonderful time and it will be great for her to be with her aunt and cousins for an extended stay. Yes, you will miss her terribly, but don't worry about her well-being. She will barely miss you at all!!! Have a great time in Maui - don't pass this opportunity up!!
For me I wouldn't do it unless your little girl knows your sister very well. I was left as a little girl and my Mom told me that I was practically potty trained and never wet the bed but then it started after that trip. Also I never spoke a word the whole time she was gone. I also started sucking my fingers. All of these things were very hard to break from what seemed to be from a very tramatizing event. I think I was almost 3. It was only a week that she was gone. I even wonder about leaving my little girl at home with her daddy for that long because I am the primary care giver. Hope this helps. I am a stay at home mom of 3 children my youngest is 19 months.
WHile it is natural for you to feel unsure about this (any momma would) you should GO :) A free trip to Hawaii???? ALOHA!!! My husband travels for work and I have gone with him on a few trips and let me tell you, our three kids (ages 5 to 1 yr) hardly miss us. I shouldn't say that...I am sure on some level they miss us, but when we go they stay with either or both of the grandmas and boy do they think they are on vacation!!!!! We actually went to Hawaii for about 5 days 2 years ago (the longest we have left them) and they had fun! I think the most important thing to remember is that she will feed off of your emotions so becareful how you act about it. If you are nervous, she wil be nervous.
That being said, we do things to help prepare them. First of all, we don't talk about mom/dad going on the trip for months. We usually start about a week before when we start packing. When we do go, we just say "mommy/daddy are going to Hawaii and you are going to stay with Grandma for 7 days." Thats it! When we actually leave, we write notes in envelopes for each morning we are gone, they look forward to that. Sometime we leave a little present to open each morning (a new toy/dvd/coloring book) which is actually more for the grandmas because new things occupy them more! We have done this since we started leaving them and they actually really look forward to the contact with us. We also make sure to call them at regular times (usually as they are sitting down to lunch) so they can predict that also.
I also think that at your daughters age, they are still kind of "out of sight, out of mind" She certainly will miss you, but I doubt she will be sobbing daily over it. The hardest part (depending on your child) may be when you actually leave. The first time I left my oldest he was almost 19 months and it was for a 2 night trip....it took everything I had to get out the door without crying infront of him and once I got in the car I cried the whole way to the airport :) He was fine, I was fine!!!! Grandma said he did ask where I was, but that was it. You will be a better momma after some R&R in the Hawaii sun :) Enjoy!!!
Cathy
GO!! I know it seems like a long time but go. You may never get this chance again and it would be great for you and your hubby to have a chance to be a couple again and have to worry about parenting for 7 days. Arrange to call her once a day either to say good morning or good night. Check with your cell phone provider to see if you have coverage in Maui and if you would be roaming while there. You may be able to get your plan changed to include Hawaii during your vacation.
Go and have fun.
Go! Without your daughter. It will be very hard to do obviously, but she will be fine; and so will you! My husband and I are very lucky to have parents who take our kids (we have 4) for the weekends, sometimes even for a week in the summer, and his parents just took our 2 oldest on vaca for a week! I am a firm believer that taking a break from your children and giving them a break away from you makes you a better parent and gives them independence. My kids usually have had to be around 2 to spend overnites with the grandparents, and by the time we pick them up they don't even want to come home with us. Reasure your daughter that you will in fact be back to get her, make phone calls everynight, and bring her back a great gift! Have fun, reconnect with your hubby, and maybe come back with baby #2!
Go. You have until December to leave her a few times on shorter overnights. So that you and she can adjust. Each child is different, but most do just fine when they are somewhere they are comfortable.
You both need the break. If my husband and I were given a free trip we would go. The fact that we have not left our children with others is not due to not wanting to, but not having a. the chance and b. the family near by to stay.
My 2.5 year old son is coming home tomorrow from his first week long stay at Grandma & Grandpa's house (6 hours away). He did his first long weekend about 6 months ago.
Yes, it is hard -- but for our family it was harder on us than our son. We did call once EVERYDAY and "talked" to our son for 10 mins or so.
I say go -- but before the week long trip do a couple of overnight and a "long weekend" visit with your sister or grandparents of someone.
Good luck!
why don't you do a trial run and see how that goes. You could leave her for couple of days and see how she handles it.
yes!it is SO okay!!! I, too, have gone on a trip or two with my husband and both of my girls have been just FINE :) it is hard ,but very worth it!
Emmy -
Go and have fun!!! I just dropped off my 2 boys at Grandma and Grandpa's farm this morning. We'll pick them up next Saturday. We've been doing this (a week at the farm each summer) since our oldest was 14 months. I swear it's harder on me than it is on them!
Our boys are having so much fun that they hardly notice we are gone - when they do get sad they snuggle up with G & G for a bit then a distracting activity. We do have a phone call every night at 5 so we can catch up and I can check in on routines (always broken, but that's the fun of it I guess).
These trips are great for the kids to bond with other family members, give me a chance to relax and rejuvenate, and allow my husband and I extended time to be kid free and with each other - a mini vacation, get some projects done at home and just "be" with each other.
As far as the trust issue goes - I really think that if you leave and come back, it only builds trust - that you will always come back to her. Some short trial runs of an overnight or weekend away will help build this before you leave for a week.
My advice - go and have fun! Do some "trial runs" with you giving her short overnights and/or weekends at your sister's and try not to worry about how she's coping with it - odds are she'll do fine.
Best of luck!
Katie