I am trying to think of ideas and hopefully can get some help from other mamas. Here is the 'dilemma'. My husband was raised Catholic but has not been practicing since high school. I was baptised United Methodist and raised in a Christian home but we did not attend a chuch. My husband and I had an outdoor wedding ceremony by a non-denominational pastor so our marriage is not recognized by the Catholic church. We have talked about having our son baptised but really don't feel that is appropriate when we don't have a set religion or attend church. I think the pressure for a baptism is coming more from our parents. We talked about having some kind of family-only 'ceremony' in our backyard with our non-denominational pastor who married us. We wouldn't want it to be anything overly religious since that isn't truly fitting to my husband and I. Does anyone have any ideas or similar situations? Thanks!
Any pastor of any church would be happy to dedicate your baby! You could also use the denom pastor that married you. We were not attending a church when my son was born and our local Lutheran church/pastor was honored to do it! You can also have a dedication service or a naming celebration!
ADDED
Even though the words baptism and christening are used interchangeably, there is a subtle difference. Christening refers to the naming ceremony (to "christen" means to "give a name to") where as baptism is one of seven sacraments in the Catholic Church.
In the sacrament of Baptism the baby's name is used and mentioned, however it is the rite of claiming the child for Christ and his Church that is celebrated.
Baptism represents a deliberate act of identification with the person of Jesus Christ and his Church. This decision implies a personal relationship with Jesus that requires nurturing through such things as worship, prayer, Bible study and other spiritual disciplines.
The point of a Baptism is to introduce a child into the Catholic religion and is not simply a ceremony that should be taken lightly, unfortunately many feel that this is simply one more step that MUST be made. If you and your husband are not going to teach him or be consistant with the whole concept of introducing your child, and teaching him the religion, and attending church (mass) - then don't go along with the request of your family. Afterall, this is your child and this is your decision - once your son grows up he can decide what he wants to do and what he wants to follow. The best- Happy Mother of Five
I would encourage you and your husband to learn more about what baptism is. In the Catholic Faith baptism is an sacrament of introduction into the Faith. It removes the stain of original sin and showers down on that child sacramental grace that strengthens that child in his or her faith. To a Catholic it is one of the most important days of that child's life.
Baptism is not just a Catholic thing. If you want to baptize your baby - then do it - just as you would like to. It is your choice.
I was raised Catholic and my husband was not. I have not been a "practicing Catholic" in about 15 years. I do however, attend a non-denominational church. Their belief is that you have to make the choice to be baptized - and children (infants) can be dedicated, not baptized.
I would also say - don't do it becuase you are pressured from your family - do it if it is what you believe and want for your child.
All the best ~ Jennifer
Any non-Catholic church would be happy to "dedicate" your child. Some churches require you to be a part of their community (in other words, you can't just walk in off the street), but apart from that, there are no "rules". Only Catholicism has such stringent rules attached to it.
Our church will "dedicate" a child, meaning that your child has the ability to decide for him/herself when older if they would like to pursue that life with god. It's much less formal than a Catholic ceremony.
I would ask the pastor who married you if he would be willing to do a dedication, although I think that you might still have to do it in the church.
ok, so it sounds like you have a common belief and faith in God and as Christians believing that Jesus is the savior and God's Son. Here is where I come from - I am not RC, my husband was and chose to be received into the Episcopal Church, which is the denomination that have always been. He says that it is the "guilt" part of the Catholic church that sort of pushed him away when he was younger. We are very involved in our Parish (again, Episcopal, not Catholic).
I think of different ways of practicing Christianity sort of like the zillion ice-cream flavors there are - there is something for everyone. Your non-denominational pastor's church seems to be your flavor! That is a good thing and you should be happy and embrace it! Let him "dedicate", "baptize", or "bless" your child however he usually does. God is everywhere, not just in a beautiful building with stained-glass windows.
Plan your child's first special day together with your pastor; good ones know how to do this taking into account the wishes of all parties involved.
And, you may know this already, but some don't: "Non-denominational" just means the particular pastor/church are not affiliated with a National organization. The things you should look for when searching for a church are: 1. are you comfortable there? 2. do you feel God? 3. do you have opportunities for ministry and living out your faith in Christ? 4. Do you learn about not only what the past means to Christians but how Christians can positively affect the lives of people TODAY and in the future.
Have a wonderful time planning your child's special day! Blessings! Mary
To Mary S., what a beautifulanswer! And I agree, God does not care which denomination you employ, He will be pleased you are ceremoniously welcoming in your son, His son, to the faithful community! It will not matter which denomination the gifts are from, we all have the same God! Congratulations!
My husband is Christian and I am pagan. When our children were born we knew that we didn't want to make any decisions for them but we still wanted to have the welcoming ceremony that a baptism provides for many faiths. We had a naming ceremony for both of our children. You can write the ceremony yourself and ask a non denominational pastor to perform it for you if you don't feel comfortable doing so yourself, or you can write one with the pastor. While I understand for Catholics (having been raised Roman Catholic I have a pretty good understanding of the faith) baptism is about removing the stain of sin on the soul we couldn't accept that our beautiful child had in some way come into the world tainted and we refused to allow any mention of sin in our ceremony. We held our celebration because WE wanted to and I strongly urge you to think about whether or not this is something YOU want to do. There are still members of our family who take exception to the fact that our children are not baptized, hopefully your family will be different, but if the family is set on a baptism no ceremony you do is going to appease them. If you are only doing so for that reason you will probably still not make them happy. I would also say this may be the best time to establish how you intend to raise your children when their faith is in question. Our children have the choice to attend church with their father or other Christian family members, to take part in ritual with their mom or to be completely agnostic or atheist if that is what they believe. We established from the beginning that they would decide what they believed and though we are always open to theological discussions we have made it very clear that trying to force them to believe something is unacceptable in our home. I am glad we set those ground rules early as we have had to stand behind them often with certain members of the family but our children know that we respect their beliefs and now have the strength at very young ages to stand up for what they believe in. Good luck!
You don't mention how old your son is...
Your post is a bit confusing to me. Since a baptism is usually connected to a religion or is an affirmation of accepting Jesus as your savior, I don't see how you could have a infant baptism without the religion.
I could see you having a 'dedication' ceremony where you and family promise to raise the child in a Godly way, but it isn't a baptism and water isn't sprinkled on the baby's head.
Our Baptist church believes that each person should make their own decision about baptism, so instead of infant or child baptisms we always have a child 'dedication' on Mother's Day. The parents and child(ren) stand at the front. The minister asks each set of parents if they are dedicated to raising their child in a Christian environment, if there are relatives present, he asks them to stand. then asks the congregation to stand if you are willing to help guide the child...
Megan
Going with a couple other moms here. The sacrament of Baptism should be researched by you and your husband. If you are not church-going people who live a life of faith then you should NOT baptize your child.
In our church, the parents are asked during the baptism if you will serve as an example of the faith by the lives you lead and by being active in the church. At this moment in time, you cannot answer "yes" to those questions. Baptize the children or let them decide when they are baptized at a point they are ready to follow Christ. Do not let your family pressure you.
The thought of a "non-religious baptism" is an oxymoron.
Catholics are one of only a few sorts of christianity which require your marriage to be recognized by the church to perform a baptism. Most churches recognize ALL marriage as valid, regardless of who performed it and how, or even if "god" had anything to do with it! Baptism is different though, since it is really something that is ONLY done for religious reasons. If the grandparents are pressuring you to baptize your children, it's not just that, but they're pressuring you to be more religious than it sounds like you are. I think the best approach is to sit down and talk to them about it, not just do something to make them happy now, but that will probably leave them expecting a more religious upbringing than you intend to give!
Baptism can happen at any age, and, in my opinion, should be chosen by the person being baptised. Hence, in our family, a person cannot be baptised until they understand and can give consent (usually around the age of 12 or 13).
If you are unsure that having this type of ceremony is right for you, your child and your husband, PLEASE don't do it just to make your in-laws happy.
As others have suggested, consider doing a simple dedication ceremony. You can dedicate your child to God and to your family pledging that all family members will encourage the raising of your child in a Christian manner. Perhaps name two special people to be the people who would make sure that your child continues with his Christian upbringing should something happen to you and your husband.
Good luck :)
I don't really see the point, to be honest. Unless you are part of a religion that believes that un-baptized babies go to hell/limbo/whatever unpleasant place, why bother? My husband and I are also not religious and we agreed to let the kids decide what they wanted to do when they got old enough to have an opinion. Young adults and adults get baptized all the time, and it is probably more meaningful since they actually have a say in it. I'd ignore the grandparents - they'll find plenty of other things to pressure you about if you give in on this. Just my opinion...
I wouldn't fool with it unless you're just DYING to! As much as I loved the idea of a christening gown and photo ops -we're not religious (we do now attend a Unitarian church that has a commitment/name ceremony for children), so we didn't do anything. I'm sure our parents would have loved it, but it wouldn't have been an honest representation for what we feel and believe.
I think a backyard ceremony with your friends and family would be nice. I'm thinking more of a baby dedication. We go to a non denominational church and have baby dedications a few times a year. Granted this is "religion" based but you could do the same idea without any church affiliation. You and your husband could write something for the pastor to read. Something about how you promise to raise your child in a home filled with love and guidance. With a good attitude and a strong marriage.
I think it is nice of you to want to do something for your families. Have fun.
I am currently going through the same dilemma and to not deal with the guilt and bad mouthing we are going to have a christening. My husband and I are both not religious. I was born catholic he was born christian. We will not be attending church after we do this, I find it pointless. My husband doesn't have a backbone and I just can't deal with the fighting over it so they win.
I believe that baptism is a choice made by the person being baptized.
If you don't truly believe in what you are doing you are only lying to yourselves and everyone involved.
Don't have it and tell everyone that you respect their opinions but you are raising your child the way you see.
If you are not religious, why baptize? People do this because they believe the child needs it for some reason, if you do not believe this than I would skip it, and tell your parents that if the child decides when he is older to want to be baptized into a specific religion, you will support him, but that you are leaving it to him. My Step father wanted my children baptized (he is catholic), but we choose to do a Wiccaning, and although it was not what he wanted for our children, they are OUR children, not his, and we had to do what was right for our family.
What would be the purpose of "baptizing" a baby when you find no meaning in it? My family attends a non-denominational church and we just had a ceremony for all the babies and young children called a dedication ceremony where we acknowledge our desire to dedicate ourselves (the parents) to raising our children to know God and encourage a personal relationship with Him. Unless you have a "goal" or some purpose behind the act of "baptizing" a baby, don't bother.