I just got the book "Parenting with Love & Logic" and am enjoying reading it very much and using the tips as I work my way through the book. I've never really read a parenting book before but I didn't want my kids to grow up the product of a 'helicopter-Mom'!
Have any of you read this book and/or used the tips/advice? Did you love it/hate it? How much or little did you implement the tools? How did your kids respond? Do any of you continue to use it?
Love this book. I use it everyday. I really think every parent should read it and use it. I just cringe when I hear parents get into arguements with their children.
I think the book teaches great life lessons for the children, as well- meaning when they are older and get a job, you do your job or you have consequences, plain and simple. :)
Just my two cents,
Regina
We've used it for years with both of our boys and love it! It fits our natural parenting style (my husband read the book too and implemented the practices). It probably helps that my husband and I are on the same page. It has certainly paid off. Now we have very well-behaved 7 and 13 year old boys and people ask us all the time how we get them to be so happy and respectful. I really think that a lot of it is personality, and much of it is Love and Logic (and being consistent). I'm glad you're liking the book!
Like with any parenting aid, I think it has its place and has some valuable advice. I take what works and toss the rest, just like with attachment parenting and just like with other self-proclaimed parenting "styles." I don't subscribe to a particular parenting style because labeling a parenting style narrows things into a little box and you end up feeling like you have to stick with that one particular way whether it all completely works or not.
Mostly it depends on each of my children and their personalities and their needs. They each respond differently to different discipline techniques and different parenting tools so I have to be flexible.
I've read it and like it. So far I like "Positive Parenting" by Jane Nelsen more. She has several books, but what I've read so far seems to complete Love & Logic a little more for me. There were solutions in Love & Logic that I just didn't agree with (like the one situation that I can longer remember all the details on, where you end up following your kids as they are walking or having friends follow them...or something...I just remember thinking that was an overly complicated and unrealistic solution). This other book is similar to Love & Logic, only it seems better researched. Granted, I haven't finished it yet, so my opinion might change!
I love Love and Logic!! I would recommend taking an actual course on the LOVE and LOGIC parenting strategics. My church was holding a six week course and we were invited to come. It was amazing! I also have the books and love them as well.
I think taking the course was helpful, because You could go home and try what they are teaching and them come back the next week and trouble shoot.
It has given me my life back. My kids are always still a work in progress, this helps me feel more in control of the day to day and that way I can adjust to their ever changing moods and temperamental states. It teaches them to be honest with themselves and to take there actions good or bad and learn from them.
So, as you can see I love it! I think if more people would use it...holy cow kids would start seeing that nothing is ''owed''to them. Mom and Dad work very hard to keep a functioning ship..and that they are in control of everything....once guided to make the right choices!!
Go to your library, you will most likely be on a list, but get their CD set. Your kids will dread getting into the car because you can listen to them while running errands..I think it is good though..The kids hear what the men are saying...they get it...they see that they are on the loosing end of the parenting battle...because momma has a new trick up her sleeve! It is awesome! ...All I have to say is..''too bad, looks like someone doesnt want to keep there favorite toy'' or ''oh, that is so sad you decided to make a poor choice which lead you to time out!!''...or in L and L uh-oh! We still use time out as the name for uh-oh...My hubby had a hard time changing from time out to uh-oh...
My favorite place to do uh-oh or time out is out in public...We go to Target alot because it is close to my sons school and so if we have the need to kill time...ta-da Target! This means they get to see alot of my kids ''loosing'' it...I take them back to the furthest corner in the store...back where patio furniture meets grills...and charcoal. I have all the time and space in the world to watch them throw their fit..and dont feel bad for doing so because we are away from people. It is weird I get a kick outta it...but I love seeing their techniques work!!
Good luck and I would recommend again, take a course..They hold them at CC in the area or churches will hold them..and the nice thing is if you are not at all ''religious'' When they are holding them at the churches there is no preaching. My hubby is not a church man. He still wantingly came to the seminar every week. So there is no church pressure on the group...it is just an easier way to set up shop for a longer period of time to hold the six week course!!
I love going in to walmart and asking the 4 year old, who runs off at a moments notice, do you want to sit in the back of the basket or the top with the seat belt. He, of course, wants to sit in the big part of the basket. If he doesn't sit on his hiney he gets 1 warning and then he gets moved to the top.
I love how it streamlined our life into 1-2 choice options. That has made a lot of difference in everything.
Of course the 7 year old sometimes has an alternative idea about what she wants and I often ask her more open ended questions. If she is having a hard time I narrow it down, for instance "Dress or jeans this morning?", "bath or shower?", "pony tail or dog ears?. I want her to have the ability to make good choices and learning that ability/skill when she is in a protected environment where no choices are technically bad choices is a good way to do that.
We love "Love and Logic" and have taken the classes twice. You might check around to the public schools, local parenting institutions like a youth shelter, mental health agencies, etc...and see where you can find free classes. They do offer the ones you go to live via the website and pay to attend but the videos of those seminars are really just as good and usually free.
It was recommended to me by a former supervisor who was a psychologist. I have to admit I'm too cheap to buy the books but have read tons of stuff on the Love and Logic website and have used it quite a bit with good effect with my almost 5-year-old and with other children I have worked with over the years. It isn't my favorite (those are parenting the strong willed child and how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk), but I really do like it and I find that my son has a pretty good head on his shoulders for his age and is fairly good at smart choices while also being very confident in himself and our relationship.
I've read it and like alot of it. I also attended the class, which I did NOT like because none of the solutions they offered work for our situation. For example, getting my 3 year old to go to bed at night. Their solution was to tell the kids they could stay in their room and do whatever they wanted. In the morning, they were so tired that they wanted to go to bed the next night. My son 1)Wont stay in his room and 2) Takes a long nap at daycare if he is tired.
Or, some of the solutions they supplied involved having a mean babysitter on hand the child had to pay with toys. If my kids arent ready for daycare, I dont have anyone I can call at 7 am to come over and watch them. Actually, I dont have anyone I can call for a fun night out....
Finally, one solution for kids that run away in stores is to hide and watch them and wait until they get scared because they cant see you. I've tried this MANY times with my son, and he never even notices I am not around. I waited once for 25 minutes, and he kept frolicking through the store.
I DO like putting responsibility back on the child, letting the child feel the consequences of their actions (even when it hurts you more!) and not begging or arguing with children.
I also like the Becky Bailey book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline.
I love, love, love Love & Logic! ;) My husband and I have been L&L parents for two years and it's really gone pretty great. Good luck with it! We recommend it to all of our parent friends.
Wow, I had no idea there was a class too. I found a Love & Logic seminar in July close by. I will definitely be attending! Thanks!