Would you expect to pay for your meal or would you expect it to be covered by the host?
Kinda awkward, but I'd expect for it to be covered. To be certain, however, I'd ask. How was the invitation worded?
ETA: Maybe you can ask like, "Is there a per person cost, or will we be doing separate checks?" You will get your answer without implying that you are expecting the hostess to pay.
I would offer to pay once the meal was finished.
Chances they will be paying for it.
Either way don't go overboard and be extravagant in your ordering just
in case.
The hostesses should pay, but I would go expecting to pay.
I would expect the host to cover costs if they are going to choose to hold it at a restaurant. I mean, if they decided to have it in their home, and have it catered, or just order subs and pizza, I wouldn't expect to have to fork over money for food that I ate at a party that I was invited to. Same thing goes if they have it in a banquet hall or similar facility. I think for someone to host any kind of shower in a restaurant and then expect guests they had invited to pay their own way would be in very poor taste. When I got married, we hosted the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant and paid for everyone's meals but also went with a limited menu for them to choose from, as well as a set number of appetizers and pitchers of soda to stay within budget.
If you are not sure, just ask. And plan to pay for your food just in case.
UNless the invitation specifically said that all of the cost was being covered by the hostess I would always assume that it was "dutch treat"...more than likely the hostess is paying for the guest of honor's meal, but it would be horribly expensive to ask her to pay for all of the meals of all of the attendees.
I have been to several birthday celebrations at restaurants, which would be the same idea as a babby shower...and I have always covered my own meal..I have even offered to pay for a portion of the guest of honors meal, to help out the hostess.
As the host, I wouldn't expect the guests to pay and as an invited guest, I wouldn't expect to pay either but I would go prepared to offer because that could add up for one person alone to pay.
.
Did you receive an invitation to attend the baby shower? If so, it would not occur to me to even offer to pay. Who ever is hosting should certainly pay unless they said otherwise upfront. I have never gone to a shower where I was expected to pay nor have I ever hosted a shower and expected others to pay.
When you're invited to a shower regardless of where it's being held, the host/hostess is responsible for picking up the tab. You're bringing a gift - that is your payment for the meal/entertainment.
I went to a wedding shower at a restaurant a few years ago. I was not asked or expected to pay for my meal.
Honestly, I would not go to a shower where I had to pay for the meal. We have a strict budget. I could not afford to pay for a mean and a gift. I think it's generally assumed, that the guest is not responsible, if it's not stated on the invitation.
If you want the guests to pay, please include that somehow on the invitation. There could be a guest who gets there and can't order a meal, because they can't afford it.
I would assume I am to pay since it seems informal. I feel like if it were a typical shower it would be at someone's home and therefore they would provide a meal.
I would assume that I'm paying.
If you received an actual invitation to this shower, and it didn't state anywhere that each guest would have to pay for their own meal, then NO, I would never expect to pay. If this were the case, I think that's really tacky if you had to pay for your meal. If one cannot afford to give this type of shower, then don't give it. A "host" is supposed to pay.
I had a baby shower for my sister at a restaurant. As the host, I would never expect them to pay, and they didn't ask to pay. It's understood that the host pays, unless it's stated on the invite. It was also understood, that if people wanted specialty drinks, that they went to the bar and paid for those themselves. As opposed to what someone mentioned below, I think of a resaurant shower as actually be more formal than a shower at someone's home. Yes, it can be expensive. I've also given showers held at home, which tend to cost quite a bit less.
I threw a baby shower for my sister in law at a restaurant. Darn tootin I paid for everything. That would be totally rude to invite people, expect them to pay for a gift and then pay for their meal.
I was invited to a shower where you paid for your own meal but it was spelled out in the invite so that you could adjust your gift accordingly. Personally I declined and just gave mom and baby a gift, I didn't like the particular restaurant as much as I liked mom, ya know?
I've not attended one at a restaurant. I would like to know in advance. It should be noted on the invite (meals are or are not included). Give them a ring and ask. I would think it could go either way. Maybe they're just using a banquet room and giving snacks. If it's held at a meal time I would think they'd let you know either way.
Karen B
mom to 5 including triplets
I can only go by what we did when we threw my friend a baby shower at a restaurant. We paid the restaurant to offer certain beverages and finger sandwiches and veggie and fruit platters. We were allowed to bring in a cake, so we had that, too.
Whatever the guests wanted that we didn't offer, we expected them to pay for.
ETA - By other things, I mean full platter meals or alcoholic beverages, or specialty drinks besides tea, soda, punch, coffee etc.
I would expect to pay for my own meal. Can you imagine if 10 people went, all got a dinner and drinks. $20 a person X's 10!! $200!! That's a lot of money!
Unless the invitation had something on it saying "lunch/dinner provided" or something of that nature then yes, I would expect to pay for my own.
ALWAYS be prepared to pay. When I've hosted parties, I have paid for the food unless I specifically say "this is a potluck party at my home" or something, and everyone is bringing something to share. HOWEVER that's not necessarily always the case. I think that if I'm good enough friends with someone to actually go to a shower (which I loathe), then I am good enough friends with her to ask for clarification.
There have been times when I've attended a Moms club or hosted a party where we had the choice of 2 entrees, a salad, and the choice of 2 desserts. Other times, we didn't want to try to pick out whether someone wants "beef, chicken, veal, or seafood" so instead we just figured it was worth the extra money to let them order their own food. Depends on how many are there though. I never go anywhere (even as a highschool kid just starting to date) without all the money I would need for an evening, to save myself from a sticky or embarrassing situation though, just in case.
One more thing: I never pay for alcohol if there's more than 4 of us (unless it's at my own house), so I wouldn't expect that. It's just too darn expensive! And I would never let someone pick up my drinks on a group ticket for something like a baby shower. A glass of wine to accompany dinner would be an exception I wouldn't mind making, but I'm so not paying for someone's cocktails and shots. And I wouldn't want to stress out over my $9+ drinks and how many "should" I let someone buy.