Help! My daughter is 4 and a half, and she's been potty trained for about two years now, but only for day time. She was still using pull-ups at night, until a couple of months ago we decided it was time to do something about it. All books I have read on the topic say this is normal until age 5, and that they eventually stop wetting at night on their own, but every mom I have talked to about it tell me they either went trough a "wet" period, or it happened simultaneously with potty training at daytime. Anyway, since she's already 4 and a half, we decided to take some of the advice we had, and stopped buying pull-ups for her, and got ready for a "wet" period. It's been hard, I'm washing her bedding almost every day, and it just doesn't seem to be working. We give her incentives for dry nights, and lots of words of encouragement (as we do for everything else she does well), with really not much luck. It's frustrating. Should we really be trying this hard? I'm concerned to be doing more harm that good, by damaging her self-esteem. Right now we're trying using an alarm clock, another advice, to wake her up. I don't know if this really would help her recognize the bladder sensations, so she would wake up on her own, the ultimately goal. Some other people had advised to reduce her liquids intake before night time, but I can't really control that (she pretty much serves herself water at will), and it is important to keep her liquids balanced to control another problem we had--constipation. We saw a product advertised in a catalog--a pad triggers an alarm at the fists drop of moisture. It's a possibility, but at about $80.00, without refund. We're wondering if anyone has used this or anything similar, or have any insights on the topic, or on the ideas we're already trying. Thank you in advance.
I don't have any answers for you - but I am dealing with the same problem, at age 5-3/4! Please moms, let me know what has worked for you!
I am in the same spot as you and the other mom LOL, but I have TWO sons who are still in pull ups at night. 4 and 5 years old, both have been using the potty for about 2+ years, stay dry at nap time, but not at night. I limit food and fluids WAY before bed, make them use the potty RIGHT before bed and yet they are still wet in the mornings. I have tried the 'wet' approach and BOTH have slept thru it, so that did not work at all. My ped says that it will come with time, but how much time? My daughter started using the potty at two and was out of night time pull ups before she was three, not sure what the story is with these two boys =] I will be watching to see if you get any good suggestions, and there is no way that I will ever be able to afford TWO of those alarm things.....Best of luck, and if you do find something that works PLEASE post it for the rest of us out here.
Just sharing what my Pediatrician said, and what my daughter did.
FULL "Night-Time" bladder "control" is not attained until 5-7 years old. And, "accidents" do happen... even in older kids. My own husband, still had accidents even at 7 years old. It has nothing to do with them doing it on purpose. Its normal.
My daughter, did not have "full" night-time bladder control until about 5 years old. She is 6 almost 7 years old now... but STILL has occasional accidents. It is because she sleeps SO deeply. AND, once she told us she was dreaming she WAS on the toilet... until she felt herself wet. We laughed about it... she couldn't help it.
If my daughter has an accident at night, no biggie. I always have a waterproof bed-pad under her, (I have about 4 of the pads), and I just changed it out, she changes pajamas, and she goes back to sleep. We don't make an issue of it.
It is a "biological" ability. Thus, we don't do incentives or rewards/consequences if she does have an accident.
daytime toileting, and night-time bladder control, are 2 different things.
My daughter, of course, WAS and is, FULLY toilet trained. But at night, well a child sometimes has accidents sometimes. Its normal.
A child, will "naturally" mature, and have more bladder control. AND, it depends on how deeply they sleep as well.
Your child, is only 4.5 years old. Its okay. She IS normal.
For me, the waterproof bed-pads, (which I got from Amazon and the have many different kinds), works out well. I don't have to change/wash all the bedding each time she has an "accident." I just have to wash the pad. Its no problem.
Mainly, don't give the child a hang-up about it. And certainly, DO NOT "compare" her to other children. They are not doing in "on purpose." My daughter, was still using diapers at night (the night-time type), at 5 years old. Then, once SHE and we felt okay about her night-time ability... then she just wore panties. BUT, we talked about it with her, to see how she felt, then we tried with just panties. BUT, we didn't do it, until we/she felt she had more bladder control at night. (when she'd be dry for several nights consecutively).
If its any consolation... my Daughter's Preschool AND Kindergarten Teachers said that kids at these ages, DO STILL have "night-time" wetness/accidents. ALL normal.
Just our experience, and what our Pediatrician, and past Teacher said.
All the best,
Susan
I don't think it's a big deal if she still needs the pull up. But, if you want to try to train her at night, here is what a friend of mine is currently doing with her kids (boy 4, girl 3). Each has been day trained for about 12-15 months. She limits their liquids in the evenings. I know you said your daughter needs the water and serves herself, but you can still try a little bit to reduce what she takes in. Then, my friend did the following:
1. Make each child pee right before bed
2. Wake them up before going to bed herself, usually around 11 p.m. and make them pee again
3. Set her own alarm for around 3 a.m. to make them each pee one more time
It's working. She's been able to cut out the 3 a.m. waking and both are now going from 11 - 7 a.m. most nights. She's slowly moving the 11 p.m. one earlier to extend the time that they go without using the bathroom. Also, each has woken up on their own a couple of times in the night to use the bathroom.
Good luck!
Karen
http://oc.citymommy.com
First it is important to rule out any medical issues and discuss it with your pediatrician- get their imput. From a behavior modification perspective I have a philosohy that once you go underwear- don't go back. As long as there is no medical issue- it's behavior. Even though she is 4 and a half- go back to potty training basics... You are the parent- limit liquids after dinner- you are the parent- take her to the bathroom (don't expect for an alarm to wake her and for her to go on her own especially in the beginning) Also if there are accidents- have her help with the laundry or clean up- you can look up night wetting or eneurisis on line for other tips- or talk with a mental health professional- again rule out medical issues and discuss with your doctor.. But with parental consistancy, follow through, patience and a non-shaming / non-blaming approach- over time (this won't be easy- especially at her age) you will have success- and more importantly your daughter will!
Do u have a little potty chair in her room? i'm a little nervous myself..,my son is 3.5 and potty trained..i've been using overnight diapers and he hasn't been using them at his dad's and tonight he took it off and told me.."Godzilla doesn't wear a diaper so i don't want to wear a diaper to bed"
maybe you could talk to her more about it and talk about her favorite characters and how they get up too pee in the night..if it were my son i would put a diaper back on and then have the talks and see if she herself wants to stop peeing in them. i have noticed that my son can go for a long time w/out peeing in the day...and he does drink a lot of liquids..your daughter sounds like she has an active bladder..have u talked to her doc about it?
I have tried the alarms with 2 of my kids but didn't have a lot of success with it. I just kept them in pull ups at night and eventually they started going more nights with out wetting, but they were almost 9 before they completely stopped. I eventually switched to a waterproof mattress pad. Some kids just sleeep so deeply and just can't wake themselves up. Its more common then you think. My friends son was almost 11 but didn't wet very often.
It is actaully normal development to be wet until about eight. I would gove it a rest. Let her be in charge of when. She may decide she wants to be dry all on her own. I tried for 2 years to potty train my child and finally gave up. When she was 4 and a half she told me one day she was done with diapers/pull ups and never used them again. She was wet at night maybe twice after that. Good luck.
I think you just need to make sure she doesn't drink liquids close to bedtime and goes potty before she goes to bed. I wouldn't pressure her that always tends to not work with kids. Also about the alarm bedtime thing, my parents bought one for me when I was little and I still remember being traumatized. Hopefully she will grow out of it soon. Good luck!
I have very good family friends who used that $$$ pad that vibrates when is senses liquid. . . and it worked well for their daughter. She was SUCH a deep sleeper that she needed the help to wake up. For them her self esteem issues were about the wetting (she was almost 7, and very conscious and upset about it - they were very easy and accepting). The younger daughter did not, by the way, have any wetting problems - it is an individual thing. Our daughter didn't have this problem, hence the vicarious example. But they all thought the pad worked well and often recommned it.
Patience and as everyone else says, no judgement - don't get her anxious about it.
We're still in pull-ups and really wet every night at 7-1/2, but I'm not worried. Our fabulous pediatrician told us not to worry until my daughter is 9. I'm starting to see a little bit of a drier trend and yes, she is concerned when friends come over and see diapers in her room, but I just remind her that everybody is different and that her body will know when the time is right to give up the diapers. And yes, I also try to remove the diapers for playdates.
Forget the incentives. Your daughter will just feel bad about herself when she can't control her own body. Self-esteem building is our biggest job as parents at this age. Hang in there!
My daughter is 5 yrs and 3 months and still in a night time pull up. I'm choosing not to sweat it and be patient.
Most of the nights she pees in it. Rarely it's empty. If she is thirsty before bed, I am not going to deny her water. That's just me.
Her 9 yr old brother got out of night time pullups at 5? I can't remember. He has not had one night time accident.
He didn't want to sit on the potty to poop for a long time and I would give him a diaper until he was about 4. Slowwwwly, (I do not believe in threats or punishment) I waited till I knew he was ready and conveniently "forgot" a diaper at a store. He had to go... after that, I just kept forgetting the diaper and he slowly got used to it.
I'm with the others here who say, don't sweat it. You do not need to try that hard. For who? Her? Pushing this now is just going to stress both of you out.
Carmen,
I was bed wetter, as was my sister, so I had a lot of patience for both my kids who were. If it such a struggle it probably is that her body is not ready to keep night-dry, it's not a choice it is a physical thing. Talk with her doctor. Go back into the Mamasource archives there is a lot of advice that is good. I like the homeopathic bed wetting pills and waiting until their bodies are ready method.
Good Luck!
I think you need to quit stressing about it. Let her have her pullups back. All kids are different. And, some just can't help it. And, some will wet the bed for years. "Millions of kids and teenagers from every part of the world wet the bed every single night."
My oldest rarely wet the bed. My youngest never wet the bed. But, my son wet the bed pretty regularly through elementary school. and then infrequently thru jr hi. He's in high school now, and still occassionally wets the bed. They can't help it. Some kids even take meds, although we never did. Talk to your doctor. Google it. It's not a big deal. Good luck.
I posted a question similar to yours a few months ago. All the mommies who gave me advice were so spot on!
I was wanting my son to have dry nights since he's been potty trained. He is now 5 and he still wears pull-ups. It didn't matter if we sent him to bed without liquids and if we woke him up early- his teeny little body managed to produce pee pee. Why stress yourself out over continuously washing his sheets? Keep her in Pull-ups until her body and brain begin making the potty training 'connection' at night. I've talked to some moms about this and discovered that it is pretty common for their sons to be in Pull-ups until 1st grade (especially if bedwetting was genetic).
I asked my pediatrician for some advice and this is what he told me. Try waking your child twice to go potty (once at 11 p.m. and again at 5 a.m.). You'd want to try to wake her up at that 'magic window' where her body goes to the bathroom. Once you determine this 'window' then you can continue the routine until she learns to go on her own.
I've been waking my son up about 4:45 a.m.- his diapers are less full and when I wake him up to go to the bathroom, there's a good amount. I'm hoping we're almost at the tail end of his Pull-up nights, but we're plugging through and we're not washing nearly as much bedding as we did in the past. Hope this info helps- good luck!
Hello, First of all, it's great that you are using positive feedback with your daughter. Some kids are just not as able to wake themselves to get up and go to the bathroom. I was one of them. My mom would threaten me with a spanking when I went to bed. I knew that if I fell asleep I would wet. I would lay there for so long trying not to go to sleep that when I did fall asleep, I would be so deep that I wouldn't wake up. Therefore, I would have a wet bed and my mom would come in to check and of course, I would get woken up and get the spanking. I wasn't supposed to have anything to drink after 6:00 p.m., but my mind would tell me that I was dying of thirst. Of course, we know I wasn't, but it was just my kid mind working on me. Anyway, I am thinking that your daughter will eventually outgrow this and I promise that she will not go to college with this problem. Just be patient and do make a real big deal out of it. When our son had this problem, we just told him that it was his responsibility to strip his bed and put the sheets and blankets on the washer. He was never made to feel bad about it, just responsible. He also grew out of it.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
Kathie K.
I have four step kids. 3 of them wore pull ups until they were 8 or 9. They have some sort of disorder, wish i could remember the name. Their aunts had this trouble too. The first one they did the list of stuff you have tried as well as a lot of spanking. They tried a medication for one of them,also don't remember the name. With the last one they just waited it out. She stopped at 6 or 7. If my son has this problem ( unlikely since it came from their moms side) I would go with option 3. It really affected the self esteem of 1 & 2. Good luck and keep in mind she'll figure it out one way or another. I think as parents the milestone timeline works against us making us feel like we aren't succeeding because our kids are not on the right schedule.
Don't stress. My daughter was almost 5 when she decided she didn't want the pullups anymore. I had not pushed her because I honestly didn't want to start the process of waking her up in the middle of the night. I have a medical condition that I need as much sleep as possible during the night to make it through the day. Anyway, as she moved towards the "independant 5's", she came to me and said "I'm a big girl, I don't wear diapers". This was almost a year ago, and we never had to change her sheets once! Also, go to the bedwetting store and get a waterproof pad that lies on top of her sheets. That way, if she does wet, you don't have to change her entire bed. It's great for traveling. I bought 2 thinking I would need them, and I didn't. I just kept them on her bed for about 6 months until I knew she wouldn't wet at night.
If she doesn't mind them, then don't worry. Unless there is a medical condition, all people are night trained at some point. :)
Good luck,
Nancy
My advice is to leave it be. Her body clearly isn't ready yet and you're stressing her out -- and yourself -- by trying too hard. My daughter, who was also perfectly potty-trained for daytime, wet the bed until she was about 8 years old. The less of a "big deal" you make out of it, the less she'll have issues over it. Let time takes it's due course. Did you know that 1 out of 10 children wet the bed until they are 10 years old? So buy the pull-ups and get a good night's sleep!