My newborn will not sleep with out being held. Nap or at night. We tried a bouncy seat with vibration and a swing. He will lay there for about 10 minutes at the most then wake up and cry, but as soon as you pick him up he will fall back asleep. He sleeps with us at night right next to me and I am getting ready to go back to work and would like to get some sleep without having to worry about him being right next to me. They say you can not spoil a newborn, but I don't get much done around the house and I am worried what he will do at daycare because he wants to be held all the time.
My little guy is 10 weeks old and it sounds like what I went through with him at first. It was very frustrating because I couldn't do anything without him crying. Mine out grew it..however, What I did was I put a cradle next to my bed and when he was falling asleep I woul hold his hand and had to give him a pacifier. It really helped because I was close enough where he new where I was. Of course I tried this during nap time and I would nap at the same time. He would cry at first but finaly would calm down when I gave him his binky. IT is very hard and heart breaking to see them cry especially when you can do something about it, however, you are so tired and need some rest. I wish you luck and hopefully your little guy outgrows it like mine did.
try swaddling him, we have accomplished this problem my daughter is now 2and 1/2 months old and i can put her to bed fully awake and she will fall asleep on her own. also put her in the bassinet for a few nights and gradulely move her farhter away from your bed, to the wall, out the door down the hall and then in her room. with a baby moniter close by of course. it may take a couple of days or a week or so but you will get it. hope this helps and good luck. wendy mom of 4
I have no advice, but am in the same boat as you. My lil boy was 8 weeks early, so I missed out on those horrific first nights where you are exhausted from labor and still get no rest. He is now nearly 4 months, and I believe he is spoiled. They say you can't spoil a baby, just give them the love they need. I disagree, if he wasn't spoiled I would have been able to let him nap without me right there. My house is still a wreck too! I have been back to work for about 4 weeks now. I was worried that his sitter would have to hold him constantly and refuse to watch him anymore- but he does pretty good for her, it has actually helped us at home-he does not want to be held constantly anymore, but still lots. I have to be at work at 5:30, so I am always exhausted-but since i do have to work I treasure each moment even if it is spent holding him all the time. If you can survive without much sleep, just think he will only be little for a small time! Thats what helps me.
All kids are different...but with mine it always worked to swaddle them really tight in a blanket or I had a baby prop thing. I got it at Babies r us...it was like two little wedges (one for each side of the baby) it makes them feel like there is something holding them basically. Best of luck. Carla
It's the same thing about ridding of the pacifier. Just do it and not let the crying get to you. It's called "Cold Turkey". Bbaies have some sense too you know, they know they're use to laying next to you, right? He can and will learn to lay alone if you teach him this is what you want. Stick to it and he'll be okay. Sleeping with you should be a sometime thing, like when you kknow they don't feel well. God lucj
my son is a newborn too and I swear by swadlling and blanket buddies. The swadling makes him feel like he's being held and will bring him comfort. The blanket buddies are like a stuffed animal head with a little blanket attached to it, sleep on it for a few nights to get your smell on it and voila.... you can trick your son into thinking you are there when you are not! Remember, babies go by smell a lot. I also use dirty shirts because they have your scent on them too.
Hi Ali,
I can understand your need for good sleep, especially if you're going back to a job!
However, it's VERY normal and age-appropriate for a baby this young to be this way. My son did the exact same thing (He's 14 mos old now). He simply outgrew it after a few months.
In my opinion (since you asked) 6 weeks is waaay too young to let a child Cry It Out. They're not ready for that until about 4 mos old. I agree that swaddling is your best bet. It makes them feel safe and warm; we used the Swaddle Me blankets from Babies R Us. And we also used those foam supporters that you put on either side of them so they don't accidentally roll over.
I hope this helps and you get more much-needed sleep soon!
Best Wishes,
Jodi
have you tried swaddling? it worked like a charm for mine. it makes them feel safe and secure.
Well if you weren't going back to work, I would say just keep doing what you're doing! We did that with my son until about 5-6 months...then we were really sad when he got the "jimmy legs" and needed his own space to sleep in. So we were forced to move him out of our bed. Since you have a time line you're going to have to start being firm though if you want that transition to be smooth for him. Try thinking of ways that you can slowly offer less of your presense. Like lying next to him and patting his back but not letting him snuggle close. Or rocking and holding him, but laying him down while he's not quite asleep. I would encourage you to read the "No Cry Sleep Solution". She is a big advocate of attachment parenting and sleeping with your baby, and has some really great suggestions for parents transitioning out of those kinds of sleeping situations. But honestly, 6 weeks is really really early to begin sleep training in my opinion. I wasn't comfortable letting my son "cry it out" until he was 5-6 months old. At six weeks they really need to be fed on demand and held as much as possible, for their development. If you have the freedom to really pick and choose with a daycare, see if you can find one, maybe a home daycare or something, where you can actually request that someone hold your baby as much as possible. Even offer to provide them with a sling or other kind of baby carrier. That holding and physical contact is so so important early on. If he can't get that during the day though, you can continue to do those things in the evenings and let him sleep with you at night to get that contact he needs. He will eventually learn that during the day he will have to sleep on his own and at night he gets you.
And now that I read everyone else's solutions...I agree!! With the swaddling. Read up on doing it just right, very tight. We still pseudo-swaddled my son even when he didn't fit in it...it was more like a straight jacket just around his arms...he looked so funny with his legs sticking out. But he loved having his arms tucked down and snuggled tight. I bet swaddling will help you a lot!
love and good luck,
Missy S.
Ali: It's a little too late, but if the habit was not started from the beginning, he would not still need to be held in order to sleep. Putting that aside, you are going back to work (and therefore need your sleep) and really, he is a lot safer not in your bed. Since he is use to being held, it may take a little while to change that habit. Maybe you can start by putting him "next" to your bed in a bassinet. Swaddle him up, and increase the time that he stay's in the bassinet.
Amy L
Take one of his favorite swaddling blankets & sleep with it to make it smell like you. Then swaddle him in it when you put him down to sleep. Next, rock him like you usually do & just before he falls to sleep, lay him in a bassinet next to your bed. If he crys, don't pick him up. It sounds mean, but this will help him learn to comfort himself. Just put your hand on him & softly talk or sing to reassure him. Soon he'll learn to fall asleep on his own. Also try giving him a pacifier. The sucking & swaddling help sooth new borns. Plus they say a pacifier helps prevent SIDs. Be consistant... do this with every nap & at night. One more thing, make sure the room is almost completly dark at night when you swaddle & rock him, so he will learn it's time for bed. This all worked great for my son. By the time I went back to work, he was sleeping 6 hrs a night! He's 13 months now & sleeps between 11 & 12 hrs. Just be patient, consistant & strong. Good luck!
I forgot about the wedge until I read the others, we used a wedge too. We also used a co-sleeper similar to this one from Target: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-5/qid=1170775042/ref=sr_1_5/602-9991741-4785429?ie=UTF8&asin=B000BM8G0I . We kept it in our bed at first & then moved the co-sleeper & baby to the bassinet next to the bed. I bought one for a friend of mine & they loved it too!
My suggestion is if he likes to be swaddled, take one of his blankets and sleep on it so it has your scent in it and when it is time for him to go to bed wrap him in it so even though you aren't holding him, he still can still smell you as if you were. That worked for me. When I was working in a daycare we had an infant that was the same way and it worked for him. He will get used to it.
My daughter just turned two. I had the same problem when she was a baby. Didn't get much housework done and had a kid in bed with me at night. During my baby shower someone had bought be a little gift set from Johnson and Johnson that had all the lavender bathwash etc. Inside that was a lullabies CD. I was basically at my whits end. I knew in order to break the routine we were in I was going to have to let her cry some. I put her in her room in her bed and put the CD in a player and put it on Repeat All. The first time she cried through the first 2 songs and then went to sleep. During naps they wake up easier so I left it on through the whole nap. If your son cries for more than 20 minutes go in and calm him down for a few minutes and try again. But that lullaby CD has been a life saver for me. She is now two years old and we still use it. Since she sleeps lighter during her nap I leave it on through the entire nap but at night once she is asleep I can turn it off. She stopped crying to go to sleep not long after I started using the CD and hasnt cried to go to sleep since. I hope this helps and if you want more information about the CD just let me know.
There is a book out called Babywise. Some parents can do follow what the author suggests some can't. I used the book and it was just absolutely wonderful, so did many of my friends. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. The book teaches you how to let your baby put themselves to sleep without the aid of a bottle, or being held, or other stuff. The book runs about $11.00 more or less, it is not very big either it is a pretty quick read. I would read it just to see if it is an option for you, my friends and I swear by it and our very happy chidren reflect it.
Have you tried swaddling him tightly? They like to be held close for security as it reminds them of when they were in the womb and most people don't know how to swaddle tightly. Learn that trick and make sure he is warm enough and you will have a little guy that will be content to sleep without being held. I would refrain from starting bad habits of letting him sleep in a swing or with something vibrating. It will only train him to need stimulation and this makes for a huge mess to clean up later. It will have to be broken at some point so why even start something that has to be stopped? Hang in there. You can do it. Just make sure he is dressed warmly, wrap him tight and even use those little wedges to prop him on his side. Good luck and I hope your little guy starts sleeping in a bed for you soon!
Becca :)
I will give you the best advice anyone could give. Get and read the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. It truly changed the way I viewed newborn sleeping/eating all together. I just had my first in October. We followed the steps that Babywise gives and he started sleeping in his crib all night at 9 weeks old. I, as well as many other mothers have found success, sleep, peace, and joy from this book. It provides practical ways to teach your baby how to sleep on his own. You can buy the book on Amazon.com for pretty cheap. God Bless!
Ali-
Your son is still really little and he knows he needs his mama. My little girl went through this stage too and she eventually grew out of it herself and now she is a great sleeper. I think that right now, it is best to develop a sense of security, rather than to let him cry it out. One thing that I think made the biggest difference was giving her the pacifier. She would not take one after she was born. When she was about 10 weeks old, I went and bought 6 different kinds and found the one that she would actually take! I really believe this helped her to soothe herself. Also, try swaddling and hang in there. Babies grow up soooo fast. Before you know it your little guy will be all over the place and you'll be longing for him to settle down for some cuddle time. It may seem like it now, but this won't go on forever. You can't spoil a baby as little as your guy!
I am having this same problem with my 12 week old. Granted, she will sleep in her swing for an hour or so by herself, but at night I can't get her to sleep alone. She sleeps through the night when I am right there next to her, but she doesn't sleep at all if I put her in her crib or bassinette. She will go in her crib for about 10 minutes, then will wake up and won't go back to sleep until she is held. I know this is an issue for a lot of babies, but I sure hope I can get it taken care of soon before she gets too used to sleeping in my bed. I've read that you just have to let them "cry it out" and they will eventually put themsleves to sleep once they realize you aren't going to pick them up. I have a hard time with that because I hate to hear her cry. I just want to fix it right away, you know? I guess you could try that though and see if it works for you. If you come up with anything that seems to work, please let me know too! I feel your pain! :)
Two words...SWADDLE WRAP!!! I bought one before my son was born (he's 7 months now) and when we started using it on him, he slept through the night. If you are able to pick him up and he'll go right back to sleep, odds are good he wasn't really awake to start with. Just let him be and see if he'll quiet down and go back to sleep. Seriously though, I highly recommend a swaddle wrap (the swaddling blankets work better, but not everyone knows how to do the swaddle.) Also, be sure to put him in his own room, that way you or your hubby aren't waking up the baby without realizing it. Put him in a swaddle, in his own room, and if he wakes up, sometimes you just have to let them cry...it usually doesn't take very long for them to fall asleep, and by keeping up the same pattern, your child will grow into healthy sleeping habits. Trust me, it works...my baby has slept for at least 6 consecutive hours by himself since he was 2 days old!!