Two weeks ago my husband informed me that, "he is in love with me but isn't sure if he wants to live with me."
We just moved to Texas a few months ago. My husband became very wrapped up in his job and began pulling away from me and our children. He came home one night and said, "I do not know if I can give 100 percent to my job and to my family. I think my job may be where I want to devote all my attention." He also told me that he was not sure and had not made any definitive choice.
He began going out to the bars with his co-workers once a month. He and I do not go out for he said we could not afford it. He also began coming home and telling me how wonderful this woman he worked with was on a daily basis (she is so smart, so awesome at the job, etc.). I asked him if there was something going on between them and he stated no that she was married and he just admired her.
A short time later we had a discussion about why he needed to go to the bar and this is what he said: Men in relationships NO longer get an ego boost from their partner because she is a "sure thing". But need to be "hit on" by a woman at a bar to get an ego boost. The woman in the relationship does NOT need to go to the bar because she gets her ego boost from her mate bringing her home flowers, etc.
Are you as confused as I am? Anyway, he continued to pull away, ignoring all of us. He had a falling out with the "wonder woman" at his work and stopped going to the bar with them. Instead, opting to sit in front of the tv all night until bedtime. He also decided that he wanted to return to his previous job.
As I stated in the beginning, he no longer knew if he wanted to be in the relationship anymore. We decided to get divorced. I packed up the kids and myself, purchased plane tickets and was moving on. An hour before we were to leave for the airport my husband says, "Why don't we do a six month seperation? You live your life and I will mine. In six months if I decide that I do want this family we will get back together."
My answer was a resounding, "H*ll No. Once I leave it is over."
He then says "ok, lets try to work it out. I will go to counseling."
I opted to stay because I love my husband. But I am so confused. I really need help!!