My husband and I are having a hard time agreeing on a name for our new daughter. The only name that we have been able to agree upon is one which is pronounced differently than it is spelled. It is a Scottish name and while its popular over there, it isn't over here and so most people will likely say the name incorrectly (or not know how to spell it).
Do any of you have thoughts on this? Have a child with a 'different' name? Thoughts? Concerns? All advice and experiences are appreciated!!
Hi, Abigail -- Please tell us what the name is -- I bet it's lovely both in spelling and in pronuniciation! If your family heritage is Scottish and the name therefore is meaningful for you, and you both agree on it, then I say, use it. Yes, especially in the early years you will have to correct people (including teachers) constantly, but soon your child will do the correcting herself; teach her to take pride in her name and always speak up for it! It's up to families to use the names that are meaningful to them, and up to the rest of us to respect that and learn something about other cultures at the same time. In this area, with kids of many backgrounds, there are increasingly plenty of names that are "different" from wha we grew up with. And look at it this way -- if her name were Elizabeth and you wanted her called that, not Bet or Bess or Betty or Lizzie or Beth etc., you'd end up always correcting people anyway. We knew a young James who always politely corrected people that he was James and not Jim, Jimmy etc., even when he was a little boy....We have family and friends in England, Wales and Scotland, and there are many beautiful, if unusual, names there....
I have a distant cousin by marriage who has a fit when anyone pronounces her name not the exact way she wants it. Karin likes it pronounced "ka-RIN" not "Karen". Naming can be tough. Though the proper spelling is traditional, maybe you could go with a non traditional spelling? Something that would get the phonetical pronunciation you want? But that can be complicated, too. I once knew someone who's grandson was named "Eric" but spelled it Airich. I have another friend with a grandson named Torsten. I just hope whatever you pick will be fairly easy for your girl to write when she gets to first grade.
People can screw up just about any name - say it wrong, spell it wrong, or ocme up with a nickname for it. I wouldn't let worrying about other people discourage from selecting something you think is special and beautiful. You nust need to decide how much it will bother you to have to clarify it. But personally I think it is best to pick a name that if you call it on the playground, your daughter will be the only one to look up. I don't think a name has to be unique for the sake of beiing unique, but if you like it great. And it is a good story for your family and your daughter when you explain why you picked it. And it will be fun for her to go to Scotland with that name!
What is it?????????????
Go with your heart and your gut. If people question the pronounication and/or spelling of the name you choose then they will be all the better for it after you educate them on the Scottish background.
We have an 11 year old daughter with an unusual name and then, 2 years later, a son. We couldn't have HIM have a normal name alongside her 'strange' one so we named him something odd, too.
Honestly, different is very normal these days. Our daughter has been through 8 years of school (preschool - 5th grade) and she has never heard her name on anyone else and it is not a big deal. Really. It isn't.
Go for it.
First of all your baby names need to be a 100% agreement!! I know that is not easy. Our daughter's name is Erin, nice Irish name, but when the doc calls for appointments, they always say my son Erin. Does not bother me because when they see her, there is no doubt. My parents were a little not excited about the name at first but we both loved it as soon as I said it. Now that she is here the name totaly suits her and my parents agree. As the mom you have an advantage on helping decide a name that suits because you are carring and can pick up on these type of things. You will both decide and I am sure you will be great!!
Tina
Hi Abigail
I think the name you choose is between you and your husband and if you like names that are a little different and not the run of the mill names that are common here then so be it , in my experience an everyday name can be pronounced incorrectly aswell , so if you like the name and the spelling then use it.
Good luck.
I have three(out of six) with unusual names that are scottish gaelic. Mine are all guys. Advantages, unusual, kid gets remembered for it, not much confusion about who the teacher is calling on, etc. Disadvantages, almost everyone who takes a stab at them, misses the first time. I have told them that their names are special and different, and people need to get used to them, so for the most part, there is a level of patience with other people. On a few occasions my one son has had to correct a teacher or coach numerous times, and he has asked for intervention from me. He's 10, so that's only a few times in ten years I have had to go to someone and say, "uh....it's actually pronounced"
I have an unusual name. My mom made it up and it's a combination of her name and my dads. While in theory it's a lovely name I HATED growing up with such an unusual name. So much so, that I now strictly go by my nickname. We moved around a lot when I was little due to the military which might be more of a reason why I hated having such a unique name. Noone could ever pronounce it. Anyhow, just giving you a differnt opinion. ;)
i have to spell both of my dauughters names for people...they get miss pronounced alot too. for me though it's worth it. i love their names and when people finally get the name right they love it too. only drawback i cant fix is when there are items for sale with kids names on them i cant find one for my kids, at least not with the right spelling. but i would do it again. i think now adays, at least in my kids class, 90% of the kids have made up or changed spelling names
My three kids have an extremely difficult to pronounce last name. They have learned to live with it and correct people when they ask for correction and to just answer even if it is pronounced wrong. My daughters have "normal" names but my son is Juan. Some people take it upon themselves to call him "John". He is six and will correct anyone who calls him John. I think that if you have cool, unusual names, then you should. My kids love that they are named for family members and ask about the history all the time. Let the world adjust to your child and her name, not the other way around.
We have Ryann (a girl, pronounced Ryan), Madelyn and Hayden (a boy) and though their names get pronounced right most of the time, they never get spelled right and they are not that uncommon. Ryann's name gets pronounce wrong most often with people calling her Ry-ANN. If you really like the name than go for it, just know that you'll likely have to correct people. It's not that big a deal really. We also love the name Aislinn which is pronounce Ash-lyn or Ash-ling depending on the spelling. If we have another girl eventually, that will likely be the name we go with.
Abigail,
Any name you chose will define who your daughter is. Make her name special. One of the other posters said that about 90% of kids have unique names these days and they are right. I've heard some very good ones and some that, in my opinion, are a little out there. Just an example, if I have another girl I want her name to be Anastasia, but it will be pronounced Ana-sta-see-a. Nobody will get it the first time. It's also a Hebrew pronunciation of the Russian name. God Bless in whatever name you choose.
It sounds like you have concerns and if you were to decide this you'd have to be ok with the fact that people would have difficulty pronouncing your child's name and how would you feel about that if it were you? Would you want a name that you always had to spell and pronounce for everyone? I think those are factors you should consider when making your decision. Best of luck!
Do what you feel! I find the best policy is to do what is best for your family in all matters. It's lovely you are going with your heritage. It have meaning and thought behind it. I have a friend who works with a lady whose daughter named her baby girl Placenta - because she heard the the doc say it and thought it sounded 'pretty'............
I am a ballet teacher and have been for many many years and so I have come across alot of girls names that are foreign and difficult to pronounce and spell. I personally think it is great to have a unique name, especially if it reflects your heritage. If you teach your daughter from a young age how to properly say and spell her name she will be able to correct people when you are not around and when you are - simply kindly say "It is pronounced/spelled this way". In my experience there are alot of kids out there with non traditional names and your daughter will be one of many, yet still unique and special because no one will share her name. It is important to be sure the name cannot be turned into some word or phrase that can be used to tease her and also that no one says the name incorrectly. Teach your daughter to be proud of her scottish name and insist that people pronounce it properly - I am sure it will not be a problem. There is a 4 year old in one of my baby ballet classes named Lochlan (I think thats a scottish/gaelic name) and no one has trouble pronouncing it. I have a 17 month old and a baby due november as well - when I picked their names I considered what nicknames kids might throw at them because sometimes thats hard to avoid. I am naming the baby Jack (I let hubby pick the name) and my husband wanted Paul as a middle name for his grandfather but I said no because I did not want him to call himself J.P. and so I picked Jack Henry. Good luck with your new arrival! I would love to hear the name you choose! : )
Danielle
One of my sons has a difficult to pronounce/read name, and my mom was against us naming him that, but he is almost 4 now and really IS that name! We are so glad we named him that. I know in school they may misprounce it now and then, and who hasn't been made fun of by their name? My name (Vicki) rhymes with a LOT of things! I think if you encourage your child, and help them understand how special a name is (the Bible says a good name is to be chosen rather than great wealth Proverbs 22:1 King James).
Best wishes, and congratulations!!
Hi Abigail! Congratulations on your daughter-on-the-way! My feeling with both my children was that I wanted names where the pronunciation was obvious and the gender was obvious. I also wanted names where they probably wouldn't be asked to spell them--we have a difficult last name, and I always have to spell my first name, too, so I was sensitive to that. We also picked names that were special to us--both children are named for people important to us. You can certainly go with something more exotic, and your daughter will absolutely survive. She may love the uniqueness or not, probably both over the course of her life. I'd keep talking about it with your husband--you still have some time to mull things over--and perhaps think about other names that have the qualities you like about the name you're thinking of now (other Scottish names? other names that sound similar?) to see if anything else grabs you. For both our children, we didn't officially decide on the name until the last month or so. Ultimately, you just have to follow your heart, I think. Good luck!
Hi there,
My name is one of those hard to recognize and hard to pronounce and it has been a pain my whole life. It's pronounced "Tyra" like the supermodel but spelled so others pronounce it "T-air-ah" or "Tee-ara". Even though it is a pain when I go to every doctor's appointment, or when I tell friends the correct pronounciation and then they revert back to the wrong way, or when my own husband spells it wrong on cards I very much LOVE having my name. I am the only person I knew with that name my whole life. It's unique...