My 5 year old just had 4 shots last week. I told her about them ahead of time thinking it would help but as soon as the nurses walked in she started screaming and flailing and the nurses made me hold her top half down really hard, while they held down her legs. It was completely awful and I always cry afterward once my daughter is out of eyesight. I asked her dad to take her next year because i can't stand doing it anymore. Maybe she will act better in front of him? Do you have any tips or suggestions to make it go smoother? Do you tell them they are getting shots ahead of time or right when they do it? What age does it get better?
When it was all over my daughter said she hates those kind of doctors and is allergic to them. She also said her legs hurt really bad where they were holding her down. There has got to be a better way!
I think it is always scary for kids to go to the doctors...my 6 year old was just at the doctor and they had to do a strep test...you would think they were torturing her!! We too had to hold her down, sucks, but you cant feel guilty about it. As far as shots, try to give them some tylenol before you go, it may help relax them...and a promise of ice cream after helps too. My daughter asked if they would hurt and i said yes, but they are to help make you not get very sick.
i don't tell my 5 year old ahead of time. but when the nurse comes in and says it's time for a shot i then bribe my son. i know it's not fair but then as he is getting the shot we are discussing what he wants to do. it helps take his mind off the the shot and it's done before he knows it!!!
If this will make you feel any better, the nurses at our clinic called my oldest son "The Matrix" and had to be sure to keep extra hands on deck when he needed immunizations. He'd use legs, feet, hands and somehow levitate to avoid getting shots. He screamed so loud, the other kids in the waiting room were terrified to go back to the exam rooms because they thought something horrible was waiting on the other side.
The good news is if you've kept on schedule, she won't need shots until she's a little older and probably able to handle the needles a little better. Maybe play dumb about whether she's getting a shot or not? As for if there's more to come, I think there have been some new changes to the vaccine schedules such as a 2nd Chicken Pox shot and something else.. when they enter 1st or 2nd grade. Just call your clinic to find out her next scheduled vaccination.
No tips - just support! I just had the same experience with my 5-year-old (except with the addition of a TB test b/c we live in China). My 4-year-old now asks daily how long until she needs to get 5 shots! When it was over, I sent a text to my husband saying "from now on, the dr. is your job, I'm done" If you find an answer, let me know!
As far as what age they stop, it really depends on your child. My 8 year old is still very scared of shots and makes a huge deal about it, whereas my 6 old has always been able to handle it much better--if she doesn't know about it before hand.
It is easier for us if we do not tell them about the shots before they happen because if they know about it before hand they have time to think about it and get all worked up. If you decided to go that route, make sure the nurse or doctor doesn't say anything much about it in front of them either until it is time. I also will usally promise them they can pick out some sort of treat after we leave for doing a good job. Of course whether they cry or not I let them have the treat because it can be such a scary thing for anyone. Unfortunatly for me my husband has a phobia about needles and doctors--he actually gets physically sick--so I do not have the option of sending him to do it.
Also as others have said, you should be done with shots for quite awhile. I think after we got our last set of shots before kindergarten they said they wouldn't need more until age 10. Although, sometimes that changes if they come out with new vaccines, like the chicken pox one, that they decided you need to have. But for the most part you should be done. I know it is rough to see your child so upset--so good luck!
Hi Jen,
I don't know if this would be comparable or not, but I was a hairstylist and had one child that did that till he was 4 or 5 years old. Mom and I had a chat about the next time. I told her to tell him he had to be a big boy because she had to go to another very important appointment at the same time, and that she was counting on him to understand. The next appointment he had, they came in, I greeted him and said bye bye mommy. The child was amazing. I couldn't believe he was the same little guy. Very well behaved, and when Mom returned, he was very proud of himself. We all were proud of him.
I am a pediatric nurse in a local hospital. First, it is a difficult situation for parents and kids. A couple of suggestions, many research studies have been done and found that kids perceive painful situations such as shots as less scary and painful if they are able to sit up rather than lay down. Which make sense because hopefully you can avoid holding kids down. I would recommend having your child sit on your lap facing you with her legs dangling at your sides. Give your child a big hug. If the shots are in the legs have your child cross her arms as you hug her. Her legs are then free for the nurses or medical techs to give the shots. Also, If there are multiple shots you can ask for two nurses to give the shots at the same time in each leg.
I would tell your child only a little before the shots happen. Also, please never threaten your child with shots for bad behavior, sounds silly but it happen frequently. As your child ages, try to explain the reason for shots so she doesn't associate shots with doctors and nurses being mean. Good luck!
We actually just did our 5 yo shots at 4 so that my son wouldn't have to get them at 5--giving him at least another year before he has to "remember" what that feels like! We also had to hold him down--two nurses and me--and he was sobbing afterwards. What has helped us...we don't say for sure whether he's going to get a shot, but definitely lay the possibility out there...we have a doctor he LOVES and a nurse he ADORES, so it's easy for him to forgive them for doing yucky things to him, and, I learned this when I was in labor and they gave me a shot, but if you're scared and tense your muscles, the shot will hurt a lot more (makes the muscle more sore?)--so getting him to relax was high on my priority list. Also, we went to get flu shots together, and that seemed to help last winter--he saw that I had it done, didn't like it, needed to hold his hand, but all in all was just fine and it was over soon. Good luck; I do think the poster who said that should be it for a while was correct.
Hi Jen,
When my daughter was little she had one bad visit to the lab and everyone in white was cause for panic for her. I was lucky that I was able to take her to the dr for anything and the dr office understood my desire to get her past this bad experience. We took her to our dr visit's so she could see everyone has to get shots, blood work and check-ups. It did work for us reducing her stress and after a few visits that resulted in no "pain" she understood not all visits would be worth all the fuss. She was about 7 or 8 when she realized the shots weren't that painful. We did have a great lab tech who talked her through it and was very calm. I hope this helps. Good luck.
Katherine
I think you did the right thing by telling her ahead of time. I never wanted to "spring" it on my kids. I thought they may feel betrayed, like I was hiding it from them. Just know that your kid is not the first kid they've had that has kicked and flaied. They are used to it =) Just calmly explain that yes it may hurt, but it's necessary to keep her healthy and all kids have to do it. (You may want to tell yourself that too so you don't feel so upset.)
She may get better as she gets older, but she may not. Depends on the kid. The main thing is to stay calm and not let her get all worked up about it.
Tell her it's time to grow up. Everyone has to endure pain at times and she is old enough to control herself. I would follow up a talk, just before the appointment, with a promise of swift punishment for screaming/flailing about or making things difficult for the nurse. Then follow through. Don't talk a lot about it, don't make excuses or dwell on how bad it is. Just say, this is the way we are going to handle this - go in, smile, take the shot and leave quietly. Then, if she does not comply, take her home and spank her soundly and put her to bed. When she gets up, give her a hug and tell her she can try again to get it right the next time. Kids need to know that it is inappropriate to pitch a fit just because something is uncomfortable or even momentarily painful. She needs to know that you love her and sympathize to a point, but that drawing undue attention to herself and her situation is upsetting to all around her and is a form of self-gratification that is not healthy. Don't let her do it. My kids have learned (and with minimal negative enticement) to take shots, go into the dentist w/o me, and in general take their "lumps" with a smile. hug and an encouraging word from me, and that's about it. In the long run they learn to focus on others more than themselves. In the grand scheme of life, the pain of a shot doesn't even register on the screen - even for a five year old. There are millions of five year olds who go to bed in pain every night. Teach her to focus her sympathy on them and not herself. She will be a better person for it.
Jen I had a similar experience when my 6 year old got his blood drawn for an allergy test. He was screaming "Why are you letting them do this to me??" It was aweful. I'm happy to report that he just had to get a booster at his 7 year old check and although he wasn't thrilled, and still sat on my lap, it was quick and untraumatic for us both. So it will get better. In the meantime, let you nurses know ahead of time what the past has been like so they don't discuss it until the last second (so she can't dwell on it). Give her a lollypop to suck on during the shot - the sugar actually can soothe them a bit. Good luck in the meantime.
around 13 or 14...lol Actually they stop screaming when they learn that it is a prick and doesn't hurt that long. Make sure to give tylonol before hand and don't get nervous yourself, they will pick up on it. If you go out and cry afterwards, they see it as a negitive thing that makes mommy cry and that won't help next time. If you smile when it is done and give them a hug and say "see it wasn't so bad" it will calm them down. It does take a lot of self control and if you don't have it in you, step out of the room while they get the shot. I do that with my granddaughter, I can't take seeing her get a shot even though I went through raising 3 kids having them. My youngest had to be held down until he was around 8. My two oldest were ok by the age of 2 because I handled it in a matter of fact way. We are going to get your imunization shots because they keep you from getting certain sicknesses. It will sting for a moment but it will be over fast. I would tell them to hold my hand and squeeze my hand (not with the arm they are getting the shot so they don't tense up that arm) and I kept attention on me rather then what the nurse was doing. Even though we didn't have the screaming, when my oldest was 4, he hid under the chair at the doctors office and the doctor had to talk him out by telling him he wasn't the one giving the shot.
Some kids never outgrow being terrified of shots... I have a 26 year old sister that still refuses needles unless she has absolutely no other option and then she still cries.
Anyway, you could pick and choose which vaccines you feel are neccessary and only get those done. (For this child and any future ones....) I know a lot of people who forgo the chicken pox and flu vaccines as well as a few others. For school, all you have to do is ask them for the form and sign off on the rest. (Nobody likes to tell you that part. I know our school district just threatens that children won't be let in the front door without ALL shots completed. But if you ask for the form then kids with NO shots can go to school......)
So, if you just dig in and do some research (YOU NEED TO FIND SOME BIPARTISIN VIEWS SO YOU CAN MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION. All the info from the docs is one- sided so you will have to look in other places.) you can decide what is best for your family.
I was one of those kids! At my kindergarten shots appt. I kicked the nurse and my mom had to hold me on her lap with arms around me and my legs tucked in hers. I grew out of it and now continually give blood and have no problems when they need to draw blood for labs.
I'm lucky that did not get passed to my daughter. She has an Elmo book that talks about the doctor and she refers to that many times when we have to go.
If I was in the position, I would talk with her before the appointment. Tell her it is going to hurt, but just for a little bit. Have her bring a favorite toy/blanket to squeeze. I'm all for rewards, if appropriate, if she sits still, doesn't throw a fit and gets the shot, then treat her to an ice cream or something. Let her know, but be sure she knows all the rules for the treat. If any of those are "broken" then she does not get the treat.
Since she has had a lot already, I would consider not getting any more shots. There are a lot of moms and dads out there that do not give there children shots, an alternative is following a healthy diet, with no junk food, etc. Also there are good vitamins that keep them healthy and many moms and dads use Young Living essential oils to kill the bugs before the children get sick, or use them to treat the germs if they get sick. They are proven to kill many types of bacteria.