Currently I am going through the court system to get child support out of my ex boyfriend. When we named our son we gave him his dad's last name because we were going to get married after he was born. Well that didn't happen and now my son has only seen his dad a few times. Its become obvious that neither his father or his family want anything to do with my son. My question is can I legally change his name while we are dealing with the child support issue? My son is almost 2 and will start learning his name soon. I want him to learn it with my last name not his dad's.
I don't think that you should change the last name until after you get the child support that you want. They might be able to fight you on the support indicating that you will prevent them from seeing him, etc. I would fight the battle and then change the name, which I understand to be kind of expensive.
In the interim, I would teach your son your last name and explain to care providers, etc. that his name will be changing soon and that you don't want him to be confused.
Good luck. Sounds like a rough road ahead.
Nicole
Katie,
Sorry to hear about your tough situation. I agree with Nicole in that he is too young to know the difference if you teach him your last name and it might bennefit you in letting it ride until legal matters regarding support are on track. I'm pretty sure you can contact the law schools in the area for advice on how to handle stuff like this. There are also attorneys who will work with you on a sliding scale (or maybe even at no charge) if you look around. Good luck to you!
Nina
Go to your local registry office, the place you would have gone to change your name after you were married. There should be someone there you can talk to and get information from.
Good luck!
I'm not sure if the laws are different for different states, but I just had a friend in California try to do the same thing, and she needed permission from the birth father (and unfortunately he didn't give it) I'm not sure how that might affect your case, if he would be willing, etc...
Kaite, get a lawyer to do it. I went thru the same thing with my son. When he was born, his father filled out the birth certificate info and put his last name instead of mine. I raised my son with my last name and before kindergarten, I looked for the B.C. and it had the wrong last name. I went to file the papers myself and it is crazy. I hired a lawyer to do it. The child's father has the right to contest it, but he sounds like my son's father and he probably won't even bother. I don't know about the child support thing. I was 19 and just wanted him out of my life. I thought taking money would make him stay around.
Good luck.
HI Kate. I know for this kind of name change you will have to talk to a judge. I have had friends having to go through the court system to get child support, and the judge has changed there last names to the fathers if the father is paying support and wants the childs last name to be his. The father will have a say in changing it back to yours. Good luck
Hello, I currently work as a paralegal in the family law area, and in response to your ?, you can file a petition to change your son's name with the court, and unless the dad objects, then the judge will grant you the right to change it. You are better doing it now since you are already going through court. Hope this helps.
I kind of went through this but I have a daughter. In the end I decided that regardless of the father and who or what he may be and whether there would ever been a relationship between her and him, I kept her last name to match his (he is her father) and she will marry someday and it will change anyway. I have just never made a big deal about her name and my name being different and she does not seem to care.
I believe that IN law says that the father has a say in the last name regardless of his involvement with the child.
I believe, that as long as the biological father of your son is willing to give up his rights (such as name change) it really doesn't matter when you do it. Although it may not be easy because of the child support issue at hand. However, I wonder if you are willing to waive the child support issue, he may be willing to change it, maybe getting some type of Agreed Order entered. I am NOT an attorney, so this is only a suggestion. Good luck!
In Illinois, both parent's must approve the name change before the child is a year without a huge legal mess. Outside of that it doesn't matter to terribly. I mean it is nice to have the same last name. However, it won't make a difference. Many kids have different last names than their parents, due to the divorce and marriages that happen in our country.
My son has a different last name than myself, and he has always been proud of his name. Besides, your son will always be a part of his father's family whether they chose to believe it or not. It could be that one day his dad realizes what he has been missing with his son and changes. (I know, let's not go holding our breaths.) Plus, your son has the right to know his father even if the only thing he knows is that they share the same last name.
You can change any last name (kid adult whoever) whenever you please! I think it cost us less than $100 total to change my sons name from my last name to my husbands last name. The only problem you may have is if your ex wants to dispute it--he can--but unless he has a good reason I would not worry. Contact your local county document office (usually they are in the phone book under government section--they do death, birth certificates and other documents) You will have to sign a few papers and put a notice in the paper--but they will walk you through all that. If you dont want to hassle with all that right now (since you are going through child support issues and dont want another thing on your plate) you could just teach your son his "new" last name now and do the legal work later---a school or daycare will usually allow you to use what ever first or last name you want as long as they have it documented somewhere what the "real" one is. Hope it helps......
Elizabeth
I adopted my sister's son and we had a name issue as well. My son kept our family name. It should NOT effect the child support issue at all! I would go ahead and change it now before it gets confusing. Good luck!!
Lori
i believe that yes you can legally change the name, because the two of you were never married.
I would ask your lawyer, they should have the definate answer. mine asked me if i wanted to change my daughters name when we went through the agreement with her dad. I was never married so i could have done it, but i decided against it cause she still sees her dad alot and it was simpler for her to keep her name the same.
I hope this helps a little bit
I also went through this. It is going to be very tough to get the father's name completely taken away from all legal documents, especially if the ex decides he does want to be in the life of your son. You will have to contact a lawyer because if you had decided to change the name within the first year, you wouldn't have to go to court. You now have to have a legal name change through the court system. You will have to put a notice in the paper on 3 different occassions (legal stuff). Then the courts will send a notice to your ex stating that you are seeking a name change and if he does not contest it, you will not have to appear in front of a judge. If he contacts them or your lawyer that he is contesting it, you and he will have to both appear before a judge stating really good reasons why or why not to allow it. My ex tried to say that it would change her identity (she was 1 1/2) and he and his family were proud of their last name. Judge just looked at him like he was stupid, those reasons weren't good enough. I changed my daughter's last name from his to mine-his and he tried to contest it. In school she can go by whichever last name she wants. So if your ex fights it, go for a hyphenation. The judge is more likely to approve that. Just teach your son to know his name with your last name. My step-cousin has his mom's maiden name legally but in school and to everyone else, he has my uncle's last name.
I really disagree with changing his name. I don't know your background - obviously, but I can't imagine growing up without a father's last name!!
Despite how pathetic he is as a dad.
I can only say one thing.
I'm with one of my best friends, whose father molested, RAPED her for years!!! She had a mirror on top of he bed from age 7 to 10, for her father's pleasure.
We're in the car driving back from Sedona, AZ and she starts talking about how she wished her dad called her more (she's 33 years old now!!!)etc
My sister says to her, "After what he did to you, you wish he were in your life??????"
She replied "That's the only dad I have, as bad as he was, he is my dad"
Well, you gave this child that dad.
He's stuck with him forever, name or no name.
Taking away his name, IMO is worse, than thinking his dad never gave him his name.
I don't understand your logic ....without his last name he'd accomplish what?
You had him with a looser, you dated him, got pregnant with him so... If you're mad that he didn't step up, sue him, don't punish the innocent child more.
Amy
Katie - a few points. Child support is so that you can SUPPORT the child. Both parents pay 'support' some in financial capacities some spiritual, emotional, physical etc. At this time the man you choose to have intimate relations with has chosen not to be present
BTW - You can name your child "FRED" yet call him BOB all his life – he is and will always be ‘FRED'. Best wishes.
My son is 10 and we adopted him several years ago. I remember the lawyer asking if we wanted to change his name but at the time we thought he should carry on his fathers legisence. Well he hasn't seen or spoked to his real parents in yers. He is ready to change his name to mine now. Please advise me how to do this and the approxamate how much it will cost.