For a long time now, people have teased me about certain quirks, often referring to it as my OCD. I never thought I actually had it until recently. I have researched signs/symptoms of the disorder and cried when I relaized it fit me so perfectly. Even things that i have done all my life that i never would have known were related. Lately though it seems my "quirks" are getting out of hand and i feel so helpless in controlling them. I actually cried the other day because the sight of my wonderfully patient boyfriend cleaning our bedroom "the wrong way" nearly sent me into an anxiety attack. I spend so much time doing and undoing things I am making myself crazy. Maybe just crazier. I realize these things that i focus on are completely irrational and yet i cannot stop myself. I feel like i have lost all control. I would seek actual medical help, if only i could afford it. I really just want to know if any other mothers have OCD and how they manage to keep it under control and keep it from tainting their children.
Sara~I know what you are going through. I look back now to things that I did as a child, and it clicks, that is OCD! Some things I just grew out of, and others like my anxiety, I take medication for. When I was a kid and would touch the same spot with my finger 10 times, I didn't know why I was doing it, but I knew I just had to. I grew out of it eventually, and then after I graduated college and I lived by myself, I would literally walk to the front door and check that it was locked 5 times...I always said "God forbid, if I don't check it one more time, something bad will happen"...and I grew out of that as well. But listening to my sister talk about my nephew and his OCD, it finally clicked that that is what I had my whole life, and never knew why I was doing it! Medication definitely helps, and they have generics out there that are pretty inexpensive if you can afford it. The cost is definitely worth getting your life back! Good luck with everything!