Ok, I know I may be opening a can of worms here, but really I am asking because I am concerned and I do want to know. I have seen the angel tree cards for years and did at one time take part in helping. That was until I watched a news show one year on how most are not what they appear to be. The news show revealed that many of these (including some run by well-known agencies) don't have any requirements for parents signing up for them. They did hidden camera investigations and showed that many families who received the gifts were driving $30,000 cars and lived in upper-class neighborhoods! Many others, although not rich, still didn't necessarily NEED the help - in other words they were like most of us middle-class americans who CAN make some sacrifices to buy our kids presents.. accept these families found an easier way - no sacrifice, just get a hand out. Aside from that extreme, I have also heard reports that the children on the cards aren't real kids, they just represent an age and gender and common interests and then the agency tries to match the gifts to a child... (in which case I wonder what worker at the agency makes the decision to put those top-dollar requests on there?!) Even before hearing these kinds of things I was already beginning to feel a little strange about taking part in the angel trees. The requests always seem so outrageous. There ARE children out there, right in your own town even, that would be thrilled just to get a pair of socks so their feet don't hurt every day - and kids who can't go to school because they don't have any shoes. I always tried to look for the cards that had those kind of requests on them.. but the year I couldn't find a single one, I stopped doing it. I understand wanting to get a child a toy on top of the necessities, but $300 gaming systems... really?! My kids don't even get that! Why? Because we can't afford it.. does that mean I should sign up for my kids to receive angel tree gifts?! The extravagance for those supposedly in dire need is just hard to justify in my opinion when I see children suffering across the globe, starving and truly in dire need of help. Ok, I'll get off my soap box before I make anyone mad (too late I know). On that point, let me be clear that I'm not saying that every person who has ever received angel tree help didn't deserve it. I know many really need the help and appreciate it. SO, my questions though are: 1. Does anyone have experience BEHIND THE SCENES in any angel trees that can testify to their validity (if so, which ones)? 2. Does anyone choose to go a different route during Christmas time to make sure they are truly helping children who need it, and if so, what does your family do?
Our church participates in something called the Red Bag program. If you "adopt" a red bag, you're purchasing gifts for a child who is in foster care. You receive the child's name, gender, age and wish list...many put clothing and other necessities and maybe a non-essential gift or two on their list. I'm familiar with the angel trees, but don't know much about them. Honestly I thought it had something to do with the Salvation Army and I thought, don't know, but thought they had a pretty good screening process for determining need. It's so tough right now. Even people who don't appear to need help, sometimes do.
I don't think that the people on the Angle tree are scamming anyone, but they don't necessarily need help either. I found out after the fact (when the presents were delivered) that my kids had been placed on the Angle tree. I was mad because we did not need help and I felt it took away from someone who really could have used the help. Someone put my name on the tree because my Children's father was deployed with the military. I stopped doing it after that because I always wondered how many actually needed help, and how many had their name put on by someone else who felt sorry for them for some reason when they really do not need the help at all.
I have not been a fan of these programs since I have seen two of members of my extended family who raked in UNBELIEVABLE amounts of goodies for their children at Christmas. They must have signed up for every program in the state...and those children were BURIED in gifts...more things than any child has a right to expect...and certainly more than most children from more well off families receive!!!
I feel there should be a clearing house that these folks have to go through so that they get help from ONE place and that is it!!! I prefer to do my "giving" through my church...we are involved in Operation Christmas Child through Samaritans Purse.org and I know that those things are going to children who are truly in need and they are also being introduced to Jesus Christ...the reason for Christmas!!!
Second vote for the Salvation Army. I have never heard of an angel tree. We adopted a family this year through the Salvation Army, they take "their neediest families" for the program.
You get the names, ages and two toy requests for each child. We got a gift card for fresh food and a few bags of dry staples, the toys on the list, a couple board games/art stuff, jackets for each kid and stockings with candy and practical stuff like fun socks, gloves and books. We also did some household items like a throw blanket, candles and cookie mix.
I have no doubt at all that this family was in need, the girls asked for dolls and barbies, very modest wishes. I totally trust the salvation army and while I don't know about the angel tree, I would be very surprised if there is rampant fraud when it comes to these thypes of charity.
Our whole family got into the shopping and getting the most for our money. We are having a more scaled down Christmas ourselves and everyone loved the idea of helping out in a more personal way this year. The need is so great right now, more people, kids, than ever are hungry, homeless and otherwise going without as this horrible American downturn drags on. What ever you can give would be very appreciated I'm sure. Just find the organization you feel comfortable with and give what you can afford. Christmas is about love and sharing and I truly beleive that MOST people would never take advantage of that.
Here's what the Salvation Army says about the Angel Tree program:
http://www.angeltree.org/helpangeltree
Here is the Charity Review ratings for that charity:
http://www.bbb.org/charity-reviews/national/religious/prison-fellowship-ministries-in-lansdowne-va-2949
Instead of going by individual observations, I've started researching the rating a charity has received to see how much of my money goes to people in need vs. administration.
I only do Angel Tree kids through the Salvation Army and our congregation that does one for refugees and it's all clothing and household supplies. I have a strict policy that I don't ever buy video games like Wii or XBox when on the lists. I will get anything else, but if you can afford a gaming system, then I don't think you really need my help that much. If it's a kid asking, well his parents need to learn some priorities.
***Julie R -I'm so happy that you're one of the rare few who were in a situation where someone gave your kid a Playstation, etc., but most of these people with $40-$60 games on their lists are the same folks who could pay for their kids' school lunches if they didn't pay $80 a month for nails. I pass too many projects on my way to work every morning that have Dish satellites outside and see too many parents with kids who fit this profile at my son's school to throw $40-$60 away on some video game that is in no way shape or form a "need." I give toys, clothes, shoes and winter coats, but I would venture to say that 98% of the video game requests come from kids whose parents bought a Wii or XBox 360 instead of spending their money where they should. I've seen 6 different video game requests from one charity here in Atlanta, and I don't even think the child was the one "requesting." The games requested were BEYOND inappropriate for their age, and I highly doubt they would have even known about these games at their ages.
As far as not being judgmental about what we're giving -WHAT? Damn straight I'll be judgmental about where and how I spend my money. I give A LOT to family and children's charitable organizations this time of year, but I will certainly use discretion and JUDGEMENT about it -just as I would if I couldn't make ends meet and a family member offered to pay for our cable. "Thanks, but it would be more helpful if you could pay for ballet classes or groceries or our gas bill..."
We have always tried to participate in these programs in the past by providing a gift to a needy child. Although I must admit, VM's post a short time ago about the Wii game started me thinking... My own children do not have a Wii so then the wheels started turning...how needy is this child? The whole thought process just feels crummy.
Like anything that involves money, there is a potential for graft. And yes, there are many programs (not all) where it is actually social workers or program volunteers or organizers that are preparing the gift lists and angel tags that request specific and very expensive gifts for a certain or gendered child. You can usually tell these programs from the others because they will ask that you don't wrap the presents. They do this so they can create storehouse/warehouse of gifts and then match these gifts to families as needed. Some programs will let the families "shop" for the gifts and wrap them themselves. Others will match gifts to families.
A relative of mine worked as such a volunteer on an angel tree project, and was shocked to find this out. He always thought there were actual children, elderly people etc. asking for these specific gifts. Instead he told me the volunteers at this particular program he worked with would make recommendations for the angel tags based on what items were advertised as popular for the holidays. Requests for electronics and other high buck items was pretty much the norm. He also found out that there was no criteria set for those receiving the gifts, and that led to grifting.
And yes, many people who didn't need these things were getting them or worse, people were misusing the program to make a profit on Ebay or were getting extra presents for family and friends who weren't in the program at all and didn't need them, especially for hard to find and popular items that may have already sold at stores.
In case you're wondering, this person I know never volunteered nor donated again after finding this out. They said in their own words "it's a scam," and the church which hosted the angel tree for a local charity is now planning on making this year the last year to host the program because of all of the dishonesty etc. with the donations.
Like I said, this is one person's perception and experience. I trust this person and was really sad to learn this. I thoroughly enjoyed Christmas shopping for what I thought were real children in need. I was crushed to find out these children didn't exist per se...and even more upset my gifts were just tossed in a pool of gifts after I spent hours agonizing over getting the exact thing this supposed child was dreaming of for Christmas. I was even more crushed to find out that the potential was very high that someone who didn't need my gifts at all was getting them and it was very likely it was going to be sold on Ebay for a profit on someone's online store from home!! I felt betrayed and lied to because the program purported to be something it wasn't. I finally just decided I'll reserve charity for programs I think I can trust and especially for those already in my midst who I see day to day, who may have a need. Why does charity have to entail a high buck gaming system all the time? Charity is also a kind word, picking up the lunch tab, solid advice or consolation for someone going through a tough time. Sometimes these intangible things are more powerful than money. Especially prayer.
I think it's a wake up call to be watchful and discerning about where you put your money. It just sounds like there is very poor criteria and steps in place to cut down on misuse of the program. Sad.
My office is adopting a family through a local organization. I was actually the person who called looking into the different programs. The one that I chose actually misunderstood my request when I asked about the program and started telling me about the application process to qualify for gifts, so I got a pretty good picture of their process. This particular organization helps children in crisis situations, foster care, protective custody, shelters, etc. I have absolutely no doubt that the family we are giving to needs our help. If you have misgivings, I would look into local organizations rather than the big national ones. That way you can actually go to the facility. Some even allow you to make the delivery of gifts. We have a local hospital that runs a program like that. You can also google "charity score card" and the organization you are looking into- you can find out about the percentage of donations that goes to admin costs and other "stats."
I asked a similar question, and almost got burned alive. ;) I say do whatever is in your heart. If a kids gets your gift and really didn't need it, is that the worst thing in the world that could happen? Probably not. I would rather help a local child that I know needs it, instead of giving to a complete stranger. I also do the senior trees. It's a terrible sad shame that the older folks get overlooked because they have no living relatives.
My advice about the negative folks is to pray for them! You can't change a stone, but you can choose to not let them sway you. Good luck!
I do it thru my church, members of my church work in an inner city school and know the kids. The school where I work also has a program and most of the kids ask for very reasonable things. Don't give up on the idea of Angel Trees, just find one you can trust. Or give generously to Food bank, homeless shelter, or women's shelter instead
My church's Giving/Angel tree is absolutely legit. The families are screened by a local community service center and chosen based on need. Requests run from a gallon of milk to a warm shirt to an art set. Reasonable things. I brought the gifts to the center last year for the families to pick up and spoke to one of the recipient families. This community center is a pretty tightly run ship and I had no doubt that the families qualified for the aid.
You could also pick a charity like Child's Play where the gifts go to kids IN the hospital and some are for the hospital itself to support kids year round.
Or you could buy a family in Africa a goat.
There are options.
With anything, there are those that don't deserve it and scam the system. Are they good overall? I think so. If there's any fault, it's the fault of whoever allows families to sign up when they could make different choices or the fault of whoever makes up lists for kids without matching them to a child first. It isn't the kids that are the problem there. When I was in college, I picked the kids who wanted gloves and a football. Maybe times have changed, but frankly I think if people don't fill the overly expensive wishes, then perhaps people will stop allowing them.
I agree that if you don't like one program, find another. There are many different routes to charity.
That is exactly the reason that our family does the Angel Tree for the nursing home. The ones for the children...if they are real....some one should monitor what they put on their wish lists....and keep it in a reasonable budget. I knew of a family that had a fire...all the generous donations were coming in...that was great...cause they lost nearly everything...they lived in a rundown old trailer. An organization contacted them because it was near Christmas...getting a written list from each child. The requests were so out of question....I knew the mother and talking to her about her childrens requests...the 17 year old boy wanted a computer....the 2 teenage girls wanted cell phones...the 9 yo boy wanted an electric scooter....even the old grandfather with AIDS that lived there wanted a police scanner. No time in any of their lives had they ever had any of the above items. Mothers response...it doesn't do any harm to try. Needless to say...NONE of them got anything they asked for...most all of them got clothes ....and only a couple of toys for the little boy. So people will take advantage if given an opportunity.
I give, because I believe it's my human duty to help others. It's not my job to pre-judge whether or not the stranger behind the card, deserves it or not. That's like saying I won't give to the homeless, because they are just going to turn around and buy drugs. I give to give, and leave the judgment at the door. Just the way I look at it, I don't expect everyone to agree.
Yes, I worked at an angel tree. Yes, the people who signed up had nothing, and it was verified. I would have given if it wasn't verified.
I've read the following types of statements many times over the years. I've chosen not to respond repeatedly but this time I just feel compelled to respond. The statement: "If you can afford a gaming system, then I don't think you really need my help that much."
You see 8 years ago, I woke up one morning to find out that the man I had been married to for over 17 years was not who I thought he was. Without going into every detail, I immediately removed him from the house, signed an arrest warrant and he's spending a very long time in jail.
Overnight I became a single mother with four children under the age of 8 - no job - no house, etc. God bless my parents who helped me secure a place for the kids and I to live.
God bless the people who stepped into our world to help us while I found a job to provide for my children.
And God bless the officer who gave my 8 yo son a Playstation 2 and some games to keep him occupied during all the turmoil that was going on around us.
You see we had nothing - and - yes - we still had a Playstation 2 by the generosity of a wonderful police officer who wanted to make a young boy smile. It was not something we asked for...I was too busy thinking about how I was going to feed them to worry about such things. But - wow - what an impact it had on him. It's been 8 years and he still treasures that gaming system because of the man who gave it to him.
So - it may not be that someone is foolishly spending their money on things that are not necessary but instead maybe just maybe they've been blessed by someone the way we were blessed.
I am a foster parent, and my kids have been on the receiving end of angel tree gifts in the past, so I know that at least SOME of them are legit. If you are concerned and really want to make sure, there are a few things you can do instead of just grabbing a card off a tree at a mall. Contact a nursing home, elementary school, church, or your county Children's Services Agency and ask them about helping out children/families/the elderly in need. They will be able to help you out from there. Also, don't forget about Toys for Tots! Great organization!
Also, I would like to agree with Julie below. We can't be judgemental when we don't know the whole story. I remember when I was a little kid when cable tv was just moving into the area. It was super expensive back then, and I remember a family from our church that was receiving food assistance also had cable. I remember hearing a lot of the parents talking about how they needed to get their priorities straight, and how they clearly weren't as bad off as everyone thought, blah blah blah. It turns out that a family member paid for them to have cable tv for a year because the family had to pull their kids out of sports and dance classes, etc, due to lack of money. These people were flat broke, but people were so judgemental of them with no clue what the real story was.
I can't speak for larger cities, but in our towns it is legit. The Angel Tree is run by the Women of Today, and the recipients are often in more need than we know.
Often, the gifts are delivered to homes that have no heat and no water. I don't really care if some people scam the system. If I worried too much about those few, then I would be missing out on helping the great many who are in need.
Interesting answers. Sounds like things are all over the place. I am a little shocked at someone's "friend" who never donated or volunteered again because 1 organization he was involved with was dishonest. Wow. Couldn't volunteer elsewhere next time? Hmm.
I used to volunteer in many different areas with children in the foster care system. I came upon a child one day that set me off on that path and let me say that a child is not in the foster system if everything is sunshine and roses. And once IN the foster system, well, things are not sunshine and roses there either (not by a long long long way). I have worked in the "halfway homes" that kids stay in while waiting to get placed, I have volunteered in the shelters, at the training centers, at the centers where they handle all the donations, etc, etc. Many times the kids only have what they could fit in a backpack. That is all. Most foster parents aren't running out and buying all the things these children want/need with their own money, and that little bit of money they give the foster families barely covers food and the most basic living expenses. (There are some VERY blessed kids that score wonderful foster parents who have a real heart for this, but some kids don't). So I give to the CAPA (child abuse prevention association), a United Way organization angel tree, because it's a cause that is important to me. This year the tags were kind of sad, actually. A teen boy asked for a pair of slippers. A girl asked for a robe, another asked for face cleaning products. A younger girl (about 11yrs old) asked for an mp3 player. Now...you can tell she's the new kid on the block. Because it could well get stolen in a home or once she's placed, or a drug addicted relative could sell it if she returns home. Also, she'd need money and a way to purchase songs...she wasn't being greedy, she just wanted to be normal and lots of 11 year olds at school have mp3 players. But heck, you can buy an mp3 player for $20 at Walmart, so I didn't think it was a "bad" request. If someone asks for something sadly simple, I try to get what they asked for and another fun thing(s) as a surprise. YES those things go to the kids. I've been working at a home on Christmas when they opened their gifts. There are MANY places that do right, but perhaps you need to get involved to know where those places are. What are your passions? What presses your buttons? Do you have a heart for the elderly? Is food, blankets, or basic necessities what drive you? Do you have an experience or know someone that would lead you to find ways to assist in another area? Now go help! Volunteering is a good way to get to know people who need help, people who give help, and the different organizations and how they're ran. Also, have your heart open to help (FROM THE HEART) and pray for opportunities, and that you'll recognize those opportunities and have the guts to do something with them.
In the town I live in all the churches and social service agencies work together. no family is listed in more than one place as it is called Holiday Hopes and you sign up through your own church / social service agency and then a tag is put on a tree and someone will buy for you / your family.
I am going to sound harsh here but it sounds to me like you are very judgemental about who you perceive as needing help. How do you know that the person driving a $30,000 car didn't loose their job 6 months ago and are hanging on by a thread? maybe they are living in the car. Did you know that some people receiving help do not have homes. the notes in their files say things like lives on corner of "X" and "X". how do you know that the person who lives in the big fancy house's wife didn't just dye of cancer and the bills are overwhelming. How do you know that the person who's name is on the tree has their name all over town? You can't judge a book by its cover. If you had a bad experience thats not a good thing but it doesn't mean that it is bad everywhere or that the people who need help are trying to scam. Children who's names are on the list are sometimes asked by social worker's what they would like for christmas. Maybe 2 years ago their family made a hundred grand a year. then the bottom fell out and no one has a job. should they sell their car and video game equipment? chances are they don't have cable any more. that game is the only thing they have to do.
Yes I have worked with the angel tree program and years ago my family was recipients of gifts from the angel tree program. we lived in a big fancy house. we drove semi new cars. and my daughter had been hospitalized off and on for more than 18 months. my younger children would not have had any christmas at all without those gifts. if someone like you had judged they wouldn't have gotten one at all.
So now I am off my soap box. This is a hot topic for me.