I know my son is only 5 years old, but he never seems to want to do anything! He has tried Soccer, t-ball, gymnastics and now wrestling. For the 1st day, he shows enthsiasm and really tries. Then after the 2nd practice, he sometimes asks to not go back or he will lay down and not do anything. We believe in finishing the season and then return if he doesn't want to go. I don't want him to be a quitter. But after he was laying down in the middle of the mat during wrestling practice yesterday, he then was running the opposite direction as his teammates (on purpose to be funny) and just constantly throwing himself down on the mat making noises....we decided to pull him out after that. He doesn't seem to like anything that requires hard work or effort. All he cares about is video games. We only allow our kids to play video games on the weekends. It's so embarrassing and frustrating because as I look around at other kids his age, they are all listening, paying attention and at least trying. How do I get my son motivated? I want him to do what he likes, but the only thing he likes right now are video games. He seems too young to be lazy :-(
He’s just not an athletic kid. Try other things that he may like that don’t require sports. Maybe an instrument? Look towards museums see if they offer any type of tech programs for kids. Some college’s do so shop around.
Kids don’t need to play sports to be well rounded.
Make another activity a requirement for the video games. Give him a list of activities, include team play, solo play, and something artistic, to choose from and tell him he will have access to the games as long as he participates. No participation, no video games.
He may just be too young to be interested in organized sports yet. It doesn’t mean he’s lazy. I would lighten up and try again next year or the year after.
And remember that all of the other children you’re comparing him to? Yeah, that might be the ONLY activity that they’re interested in and their parents just might be forcing it on them as well.
When my daughter was 5 I signed her up for soccer. She was miserable…and her dad was even coaching. She spent most the time picking weeds in the field.
She was also in dance at the time and while she liked it enough her heart was not in it either. She continued dance at 6 years old while I had not tried her in another sport at all even after some friends tried to get me to sign her up for tball.
Then over the summer right before she turned 7 I put her in gymnastics and since then I’ve found gymnastics is her thing. She loves it and even decided to do that instead of dance.
She also just recently decided to try a basketball clinic and so far seems to like that also.
My point…give him time.
My son isn’t into organized sports. He just wants to play. Organized sports is not playing - it’s organized. He might not be into it. My son loves video games, BUT he also loves going to the play places or parks and just playing with other kids, so that’s what we do.
Your son is only 5 - seriously, let him be a kid and play the way he likes to play. Stop trying to make him like the other kids and find ways that he enjoys to be active.
This is why I didn’t start our son in taekwondo till he was about 8 years old.
Before then he was too young to listen to instructions and pay attention for very long.
Also, with many team sports - one or two people on the team are doing things while the rest of the team waits for something to happen.
It’s largely very boring.
It’s great you limit the video games - stay on that - only on weekends and only one or two hours per day.
The games are easy to master, but while they are playing them they are just sitting there and they need to run and play and ride bikes and be outside instead of becoming couch potatoes.
The next few years will be very busy with learning to read and write.
Take a break from the activities for awhile and come back to it in a few years.
It’ll all be different with a few more years under his belt.
Hey Mama! How frustrating for you! Maybe if you break this up into two parts it will help. First issue is that your little guy is having a tough time finding something he really likes or feels comfortable doing. The second piece is that he has a hard time dealing with it appropriately when he gets there. How does he handle doing things he doesn’t want to do at home or school? Maybe stay clear of organized activities for a while and set up group playdates to help him deal with a group setting. Also, anytime he acts up inappropriately in the face of having to do something he doesn’t
want to do (chores…) I would have a consequence. But please take off any pressure you feel to get him into activities. I think there is too much pressure on parents to get kids into things before they aare ready. Blessings!
You’ve gotten some great responses so far!
I have 2 boys, 8 and 15, and neither of them are into team sports, even now, but they aren’t lazy either. We live on a farm, and they are always outside doing chores, jumping on the trampoline, or just running around doing whatever interests them. They are both very active.
My oldest isn’t interested in sports at all. He’s entirely academic. He does like to be on the computer, writing software, and doing things that are way beyond me. Most people would find the things he does on the computer to be extremely boring. He doesn’t spend too much time on the computer.
My youngest likes to watch sports with my husband, so he may develop an interest in playing team sports someday, but right now he sticks with golf. He loves golf! Legos are his true passion, though. 
Both boys love swimming, and so do I. Playing with pets takes up much of our time, too.
As long as your son isn’t sitting around all day without being imaginative or getting any physical activity, he’s probably doing just fine. 
My 5 year old girl will dance and sing and swim her heart out, but get her near sports and its like she is being burned alive. She dislikes being in anything like it. My 3 year old is a CHAMPION couch potato and I doubt she will be in much either around that age that requires a TON of physical activity. She is a artist. My 2 year old boy, who knows he may specialize in demolition I am sure he will let me know when the time comes. Kids have preferences too and it takes time to find them.
Maybe rather than a team sport you could get him involved in physical activity another way. Swimming, running etc.
other than that I would suggest that maybe if you change up the game time a little it might make a difference. If you only allow him to play video on the weekends (not judging here just suggesting a different way to do same thing) then maybe allow him a half hour each day instead. that way he won’t feel like his is missing his video time. that may be part of the problem.
So, why does he have to do sports?
Exercise is important. Sports are just one way to make that happen. And while sports are great for kids with some athletic ability, the kids who might make the team win, they’re pretty godawful for kids on the opposite end of the continuum, the ones at risk of making the whole team lose.
I’d just advise you to insist on physical activity, but give him total leeway on how that happens. My own (distinctly unathletic) son is doing well at a karate dojo because it’s noncompetitive. We’ve also found a soccer program through a local synagogue that focuses on personal growth and gratitude, and really downplays winning and losing. There’s also biking, hiking, all the outdoor stuff.
On the video games, yay you for restricting it to weekends. If it’s all he seems to care about, though, you might have to restrict it even further – say to one day rather than two, or only so many hours (or minutes) per weekend day. Alternatively, this other part of me wants to say, if he has to play them, consider getting him one of those Kinetix things, where the kids have to move around to play the games. Then, your exercise issue is solved.
Not all kids are into team sports or even organized sports. It may be that he’ll really enjoy roller blading, biking, or hiking as he gets older. Those things are all social - but not neccessarily team based. Many kids will try things if you’re doing them - so go for family hikes, trying riding your bikes around the block, play frisbee together, go to your local Y and get int he pool together. There are definite advantages to team sports as kids learn how to work as a team, and other valuable lessons. However, not all adults in their working life need those skill and based on their inborn personalities they will probably not be the person who works in a team-type career.
We didn’t have any video games in the house until my son was about 8. At that point he always clearly preferred video games - so much stimulation and action! My son NEVER wanted to go to practice. And 6 is young - it’s really to young to be good at any sports yet - so it’s frustrating. If you can, try to coach him in the basics of the sport. So with Tball - get a cheap T at the toy store and play in your backyard to help him improve. Encourage him, show him the right way and give him respect as his skills improve. As his skills improve he’ll feel more confident and will be more willing to participate.
My son played soccer (didn’t like it after a few seasons), football (really liked it as a youngster but stopped in 7th grade) and still enjoys baseball and basketball. His reason for not liking football had to to with the fact that he’s a big kid (has always been taller than all the other kids in his grade) so he was always on the line and never got his hands on the ball so it was boring. But with baseball and basketball every kid gets to contribute to the game. My husband helps him improve his skills by taking him to a batting cage so he feels confident when he gets up to bat, etc.
As for wandering around and laying down on the mat - let’s face it at age 6 it’s really boring to sit still and watch other kids play the sport. They want to be doing - not watching. At age 6 in soccer practice, my son used to wander over to the playground when he wasn’t on the field. The coach would be tryint to get his attention from the field and I would chase him back to the field. But think about it, if your kid isn’t out on the field how intersted are you in watching the game/scrimmage/practice? ANd he’s 6 - he has zero interest unless he’s the one rolling around on the mat.
They NEVER want to go to practice. See if he enjoys the game and if so then insist he go to practice. It’s not an option in our house. In the many years my two teens played team sports there was only one season that we stopped midway and that was lacrosse in my son’s first year becuase he HATED it. Oh well!
Take care that you aren’t equating being a boy with liking sports.
He might be interested in individual sports rather than team sports. Or he just might not be athletic. In a few years he might like sports like tennis, golf or fencing or archery, when he has more focus.
Let him try other activities; you’ve tried sports for now so let it go for now. Look at your local city/county parks and recreation department, YMCAs, YWCAs, and other resources for classes etc. in art for kids, drama for kids, dance for kids–yes, boys can dance! Or sign him up for short-term classes or camps by kid-friendly places like “Mad Science” or other kid science franchises that are (I promise!) a ton of fun. Even kids who aren’t into academics still like to make things fly or make things ooze goo, and that’s what a good kids’ science place does…There are local Lego clubs where kids get together to build things…Even local libraries now sponsor things like Pokemon “leagues” where kids play the card games associated with things like Pokemon and several other popular videos/characters. (It’s not video gaming, it’s kids playing games, and there should be adults present as monitors.)
In other words, don’t limit your ideas of possible activities to sports. And don’t limit sports to the typical ones you list.
You mention “I want him to do what he likes” but do you truly know what he likes other than video games? You need to work with him and find someplace he wants to be and something he wants to try, rather than cycling him through the local sports that are readily available. You’ll have to do more research and legwork to find creative options that aren’t more sports but you may be helping your child find what really turns him on. Whatever you and he choose, be sure he gets enough classes or sessions to really taste it and learn to improve his skills, but not so many that he feels he’s locked into that activity forever and ever. Six- or 10-week class sessions are the norm for many programs through parks and recreation departments or recreation centers and that’s a good length of time to try something but not be locked in for, say, the rest of the school year.
At only five, he is going to be too young for the age limit on some of these activities; you may be expecting too much from him in terms of activities at his age. Sure, some kids at five are already playing soccer multiple times a week but others at his age have no extracurricular activities yet, and that is just fine too.
Keep limiting the video games as you do now; that’s wise of you!
One last thing. Some kids need more down time than others; if he’s not playing video games, as long as he’s doing something in his weekday down time (reading, drawing, building with Legos or other building sets, etc.) that is creative and calming to him, don’t discourage that in favor of sports that don’t interest him; let him have that time. If he just wanders aimlessly during down time, yes, help him find some outlet. But again – he is five and still likely wants someone to play WITH him and still wants to be silly in a group setting. That’s fine. The answer here may be a new activity or it may really be no activity at all.
Some kids just aren’t into sports!
Before you ditch the idea, try seeing if he might be interested in some
other sport (basketball, baseball). The easiest way to do that is get out
there w/him yourself. Take your son to the park w/a basketball & try to
shoot some baskets. Pitch a few softballs to him etc.
Sports just might not be his thing.
Also, he could be too young yet.
In addition, try to see if he might be interested in other things like tae
dwondo etc.
Let HIM pick something that interests him. He may develop other
interests as he ages.
Just limit his video game playing to an hour during the week at night then
more time on the weekends.
One more thing, try to get active as a family: go for walks around the
neighborhood, go for short hikes near your home (it doesn’t have to be
far or up in the woods…they have trails everywhere now), go to the park
and shoot hoops for fun.
Maybe boy scouts or an art class, cooking class? There’s so many cool classes, rather than sports.
There is a community college by me that offers technology classes to younger kids. My son learned how to build rockets then they shot them off. He had the best time. They also teach how to make video games and build robots. Maybe you can look into that.
But overall he’s still very young, there is no need to worry; some kids just arent into sports or it comes to them later on. Organized sports for kids that age are pretty boring. There’s a lot of waiting and standing around.
I don’t believe in forcing kids to finish out a season in anything that’s non-competitive to join – if he didn’t have to try out to get on the team and he isn’t taking up a spot that could have gone to someone else, then I don’t think it is healthy to make him continue. After all, if you joined a recreational art class and you really didn’t like it, would you force yourself to continue just because? If he’s made a commitment and people are counting on him, that’s one thing, but no one’s counting on a six-year-old.
And I don’t mean this to sound insulting, because I’ve done it with my kids, too – but when did we, as a society, become so focused on “signing kids up” for things, “putting them in” things? When we were kids, we played! We enjoyed being a kid! They will have commitments their entire life. Why does he have to be motivated to do sports right now? I tried for several years and then realized it was my problem, not theirs. It was my need to compete with other families, to do what other families were doing, classic “keeping up with the Joneses,” which you are, I think, experiencing, too ("It’s so embarrassing and frustrating because as I look around at other kids his age, they are all listening, paying attention and at least trying. ") It’s not who he is right now. Honor that. Allow that. He will have more self-confidence and motivation if it comes from within. Instead of signing him up for teams, let him do a couple of fun day camps over the summer – he may find something he really likes. But if he doesn’t, so what? He’s not lazy! He’s 6!
Maybe his thing just isn’t organized activities. Which is not to say that you shouldn’t take him to the park, ride bikes, throw a ball in the yard, but if he’s not the organized sport type, do something else. I don’t like exercise if I’m stuck on a treadmill, but I’ll happily hike 2 miles through the woods. So maybe do something else for physical activity vs a class. I didn’t do a lot of classes growing up and I don’t have DD in dance or the fiftybillion things that are common for kids her age in our area. She has preschool, she has other activities around town, she has friends. That’s good for us/her.
The other thing you might want to do is not sign him up for anything that is very long and if he signs up, he has to finish. My SD has tried a number of things, but she has always finished the class, be it 4 or 8 weeks. We paid. She goes. So before you sign him up, make sure he knows he’s not going to the 2nd practice and laying on the mat to get out of it. He’s going for the duration or he doesn’t start at all. If he needs to be pulled out, do it only at the coach’s request unless there’s a big problem with him (a bully or something). You might also talk to the coach to get his/her POV. I bet your son is not the only kid that has done that.
You can also work on his fortitude with smaller projects. Build a fort or model. Put together puzzles. Finish a board game or a chapter book. Help him see the rewards for effort and build up.
maybe he just doesn’t like sports? Have you looked into art classes? Music lessons? or maybe he would do better with martial arts rather than a team sport? Not everyone is athletic. My daughter is almost 8 and she does not like sports at all. We tried dance, she hated it. Gymnastics, hated it. Swimming, she LOVES to swim, but hates lessons and teams. We had her signed up for a cheerleading class through our county, the class got cancelled because there wasn’t enough enrollment, so she asked if she could do a pottery class instead. I was a little surprised at first because she is very active and has a ton of energy, but she loves art. So, I signed her up and she starts tomorrow morning.
If he only wants to play video games and nothing else, maybe limit it. Instead of saying “only on the weekends” because then he will play it all day long on the weekends, say he can only play it for 1 hour a day. We have to do that with our son who is 5 and loves lego batman, lol! The rest of the time (besides school) he is playing outside or playing with his toys or we are out doing stuff. He is also on a wresting team and doesn’t like it anymore, so once the season is over, we will not have him do it anymore.
Why are YOU embarrassed because he doesn’t want to be there? This has nothing to do with you. If he doesn’t like it then let him do something else. At his age I imagine he’d rather be out running around in the park, playing tag and learning how to ride his bike. There’s no need to sign him up for anything, just turn off the TV and take him to the park, to the pool, or for a hike. Or just send him outside to play.