advice on baby girl name causing a stir in the family

Preconception & Pregnancy Baby Names
1

alright, first of all I should have listened to all of the advice previously posted here about keeping quiet about baby names until the birth of the baby.

I made the HUGE mistake of revealing our favorite name (Amanda) to our family and the problem is this. my husband has a niece that has the same name but they do not live in the US. nevertheless, since I mentioned (my big mouth I swear)via e-mail that we were planing to name our baby girl Amanda Nicole, two e-mails have already hit my inbox from my sister in-law saying that her daughter Amanda does not like us using her name.

OH God, I supposed, very wrongly, that they'd be honored that we are naming her Amanda. and by the way we did not name our daughter after their daughter, we thought the name first and then remembered there was an Amanda in the family.

my question is, would you change the name? I've thought of other names but I'm six months pregnant and we have been calling our "belly" Amanda since we found out is a girl.

please help, I know it sounds silly but my feelings are hurt and I guess their feelings too because they think we robbed their name. what do I do?

Thank you! all your answers are highly appreciated since I have my mom and my sister's opinions but I rather have someone to objectively tell me what they think.
Thank you!!!!

2

You have got to be kidding me! They do not own the name Amanda, nor do they have the right to tell you not to use it. I totally WOULD NOT change it AT ALL, if you and your husband love the name Amanda and want to give your daughter that name, you have every right to do so. This is a hot button for me and I just think it is absolutely silly that they would put you through this during your pregnancy. Have your husband tell his family if you don't want to do it, but they should be put in their place.

3

Absolutely absurd! I have two neighbors named Amanda and they don't hate each other because of it… my point is like Rebecca's, they in no way own the name.

Bottom Line… this is your baby girl and if that is the name you have chosen for her and feel would suit her, you will kick your self if you change it due to an obviously self centered sister-in-law! You will never have your baby Amanda again! It is also a very pretty name :-)

Congrats BTW!!!

Ericka

4

That's really stupid. It's not like it's some off the wall name like moonbeam where someone worked very hard to be different. It's a lovely name. They don't even live in the same country. If she's old enough to HAVE an opinion (which I do not believe---I would think it was manipulation from the sister in law), then the 2 children are not even close enough to the same age to cause a problem. Noone is gonna get confused that one kid is riding her bike and another got her first tooth. Do what you want to do, and congrats on the baby.

5

I went to school with lots of Amanda's growing up in the 90's. You could modernize it to Ananda? I personally though think she is being silly, like a previous poster said...its AMANDA, not some exotic original name. It isnt like they were the only one to ever think of it. You do what you feel. If your baby feels like an Amanda, by all means, name her amanda. Good luck. Im a loud mouth too and cant keep secrets so we scrapped our first name because after I told everyone, people were like ewww...she was going to be adalie.

6

Your husband needs to tell his sister to grow up and that his daughter will be named Amanda. It's not copywrighted for heaven's sake, and you can always use a different nickname for her so that if they are ever at a family gathering the two girls won't be confusing everyone :)

Sisters can be great, but also a pain, can't they!

7

This is YOUR child and only you and your husband have the right to name your child whatever you want. No one can tell you yes or no. Besides you never see them, correct?

Trust me, after about a month or so... this will all die down. It will all be forgotten about. And they'll find someone else to complain about.
Don't let something as sacred as naming your child -- be judged by a fickle teenage girl. Next month, she'll probably like the idea. Nothing against her - it's just I remember being a teenage girl - one week you feel this way, the next week you feel the other way.

8

Someone's blowing this out of proportion...and it's not you. They need to grow up. Hope this helps.

9

I'm getting in late on this one. First, I think it is pretty ridiculous that they are upset about this! BUT it isn't worth a family feud. There are so many beautiful names. I had two of my favorite names taken by others way before we had our babies and we still found beautiful names for our kids. Sarah is beautiful. It means "princess". We almost gave one of our twins that name.

I know it isn't what you want to hear but I just think family is more important than a name.

10

My brother named his child Ryan and our cousin's name is also Ryan and they are in the same town. I don't recall anyone being openly upset. I would stick with what you and your husband want. You will be sorry if you change it and you have your heart set on it. It will die down after she is born. It can't hurt to have a stand by name. You never know when she is born you might change your mind when you see her. Good luck!

11

Silly Silly - Don't let this put a damper on the excitement of your new baby. Our third son's middle name is Lleyton, Our first son is expecting a baby and they are naming their child Lleyton. No one got mad - big brother is 24 and little brother is 8. We have 4 Sarah Elizabeth's in our family named after a great grandmother (large large family) I would just e-mail them not to be offended, that the baby IS NOT being named after their Amanda and that you didn't really realize there was another Amanda in the family... You just forget about it and enjoy the wonderful time in your life you and your husband are experiencing.

12

every generation in my family has a mary something (faith, eliza, etc.). is anyone insulted? no, they are honored and at worst annoyed at the 6th mary in the family (for the fact that there are 6 of them). but each mary is different. your amanda will be different. that amanda will deal with it. that mom will either deal with it or not. the choice is hers. keep your name. btw, i have a cousin amanda too. that one had a selfish phase in her teen years as well. ;)

13

I know you already posted your update, but this is very near and dear to my heart. Name you daughter whatever you want to. Nobody can stop you and nobody can "own" a name. It's there for the taking. I love the name Amanda, use it and don't be bullied.

Good luck, I hope the rest of your pregnancy is stress free and I hope you have a great delivery.

I wanted to add, I would also close this as a topic of conversation unless it is with your husband. If somebody brings it up simply and politely say "I've decided not to discuss baby names with anybody except my husband, but once she arrives we will make a name announcement."

14

Well, me personally, I'd say "fine" and just be the bigger person and choose another name. And I'd let your sister in law know that it really hurt your feelings what she said. My name is Sarah and I've always liked the name. Or you could do something that's close to Amanda, like Amaya or Annalee? I like weird names. When I was pregnant with our first son, I spent the entire 9 months calling my belly "Ezra" and it wasn't until 20 minutes after giving birth that my husband finally admitted he didn't like the name at all. He told me that he really wanted the name "Spencer". So we used that and now I'm so glad we did. So although it may be an adjustment, once your baby is born i think you'll know what to do.
p.s.- When little boy #2 was born, I got my favorite name even though hubby wasn't thrilled with it cause it's weird (Shade) but I've always liked nature names.

15

I know everyone has already said the same thing, but I wanted to add my support. If you have already been calling that baby Amanda, no matter that she is still inside you, then that is her name! Who cares whether it is
legally" the name or not. No one has the right to suggest differently. Do what you think is best, but I hope you don't bow to the pressure to change it. It is a beautiful and classic name. Best of luck to you!

16

There are going to be a h*** of a lot of Amanda's in the world who are furious that you are using "their" name, lol. This is YOUR baby; name her what you want! Good luck!

17

Your husband's neice did not purchase the copyrights to 'Amanda'. That is absolutely silly. You name your daughter whatever you want....I think you have picked a beautiful name.

18

I know you've already posted in your "what happened" and I'm sure someone else already said this, but I wanted to as well. It's your baby and the name you chose. You didn't name her after his neice, and she isn't the only Amanda in the world nor will she be the last.

This is your daughter's name. Don't change it because someone in the family needs to grow up and doesn't like someone else having the same name. She's going to be so disappointed through life as she meets so many Amandas. Your daughter deserves the name that you and your husband love. I wish you all the luck with it, and whatever you decide will be perfect for her! :o)

19

Thanks again$$$ movie and all way to$$$

20

12/16/08 Update Ok first of all, thank you for all of your responses, I’ve read them all and thought hard about both options (keeping vs changing the name); all your opinions were helpful and some made me laugh! thanks!

I wanted to be the bigger person and change the name. So I had decided to use either Sarah or Julia as a first name; Nicole is the second name and it’s settled since my little girl picked it for her sister.
Yesterday I was very happy about either “Sarah Nicole” or “Julia Nicole”, however, when my husband came home he told he did not want to use those two names (I have no clue why they’re gorgeous).

So, with my patience wearing REALLY thin I just decided to keep the name Amanda; the fact is I’m willing to give in a little but, I’m not going to give up ALL of my favorite names just because some people are not happy.

the fact is that in seven years we have been living in the US we have just visited my sister-in-law once (they live in Canada and it’s an expensive trip). So as for people confusing the two girls I highly doubt it, we rarely ever see each other.

Another fact, I rather please my husband and give up “Sarah/Julia” than please my sister in-law and give up my very first pick “Amanda”.

I honestly think the whole issue is silly, like some of you said it’s a pretty common name, it’s not “Moonbeam” LOL!
Now I can just focus on really important issues such as, being healthy and delivering my sweet baby girl safe and sound into this world; I was diagnosed with placenta previa so I’m going to focus in taking care of myself and get ready for a very possible c-section rather than bicker about a name, which we are using no matter what.
If by any remote chance, when I deliver my baby I see her little face and she doesn’t strike me as an Amanda, I’ll change it right there and then, but as of now that will be her beautiful name.

update Yes the daughter is old enough to voice her opinion (she is 15 ) but I also think the mom reacted negatively and she followed. Thank you all for your advice, you gave me strength to fight for the name! right now my husband is furious and is considering other names. I will update to let you know what we choose, there’s also Sarah Nicole which is beautiful too I guess, but of course I don’t want to change our original pick.
Thanks!