My brother's girlfriend's son will be starting kindagarden in August. He still wears diapers because he is constantly pooping in his pants. They have taken toys away, taken tv away, and made him go to bed early. he knows when he has to go and at times is not even doing anything. nothing has seemed to work with helping with this problem. any suggestions?
Make it his responsibilty to clean himself and his clothes up when he poops. And absolutly no diapers. He is obviously in a power struggle with this portion of growing up and it is the last thing that children have absolute control over. Also if there is any instability in the houshold they will also present with this problem at this age. Good luck and tell them to stick with it and it will get better.
First of all, has he seen his pediatrician or a GI specialist about his issue? There could be more going there. Pain or discomfort? Fears? I would recommend those to start. Also, kids need consistancy, so trying to put him on a schedule to poop, for example 10-15 minutes after every meal, have him sit on the potty to go or try to go. Start with small rewards or even a "star chart" to earn rewards. Positive reinforcement works great. Punishing does not. I know from experience with my 5 year old son. He has seen a specialist and these are all things he has recommened as well. Good luck. Hope it helps. I know how frustrating this phase is...Thankfully, my middle son has never had this issue.
Tiffany,
Unfortunatly because he's still in diapers, the school may not take him until he's been potty trained. If he's excited about going to school, that may be the ticket. They need to explain to him that if he doesn't start using the toilet like a big boy then he may not get to go to school like a big boy. He's old enough to understand everything now, so hopefully he's like other kids and is excited to be going to school to make new friends and so on. The threat may be the only thing that works and sadly it's a real threat.
Good Luck
Erlene
I would definetly quit putting him in diapers. Make him uncomfortable about it. I also agree that he should have to clean up the mess-he is old enough to be responsible for his own messes. Then maybe a lot of support and being positive would help a lot.
Take the DIAPERS away. Pooping in underwear feels alot more gross, and then make him clean it up himself.
The parents need to take the child to a doctor or psychologist. Something physiologically or psychologically is not completely developed. An expert might be able to help. They shouldn't be punishing the child.
First of all, do kindergarden will take him if he can't go to the bathroom by himself. They need to get him back into underwear. They should go through the potty training basics and start from the beginning. Maybe taking him to the bathroom every 1/2 hour will help with him pooping in his pants. But the most important thing is that they need to be consistant with him.
OOoooh.
He isn't yours.
He isn't your brothers.
It isn't your business.
I realize that you are 3 months pregnant and therefore the end all of all childrearing knowledge but PLEASE sit back and watch and learn. Maybe you, too will have a six year old who is a MR. Poopy pants! Wait until you are 8 months pregnant and the unwanted advice comes your way.
Please don't poke your nose where it doesn't belong.
This is actually worse than the neighbors watching their friends TV through the window....
I have to say that I agree with Holly on this one.
This isn't your child and so he isn't your responsibility unless you are watching him for your brother and his girlfriend. Then you've got some say in the matter, especially if you are having to clean up after him.
At this point in time, unless they are asking you for advice, it may be better for your relationship with your brother and his girlfriend if you just watch and observe what they are doing or aren't doing and file it all away for your own reference.
Keep in mind all the potty training advice that you've gotten and will get but you also need to remember that all kids develop differently.
He may have some medical problem that makes it hard for him to control his bowel movements until just before he goes. He also just may not be interested right now.
So be supportive of your brother and his girlfriend. Offer advice if and when they ask, but don't badger them or force advice on them. Unsolicited advice, especially when you are doing everything you can think of, tends to make people feel like they are being accused of being a bad parent.
One day in kindergarten being the only kid in diapers will probably straighten him out right away. In the meantime, he really should be cleaning up after himself every time he has a "mistake". I would also recommend getting rid of the diapers, having him pick out brand new underware with his favorite superhero on it. Always bring a spare set of underware and pants, plastic bag and cleaning supplies. He's a big boy. If he poops his pants he can clean it up. You don't have to make a big deal out of it. Godd luck!
with my brother we used m&ms to guide him to the toilet instead of punishing him reward him my cousin wore pooped himself till he was 11
This is extreme, and I thought it was bordering on child abuse when I found out later... but, when my youngest son was having difficulty stopping messing his pants, his sisters decided they'd had enough. One day when my husband and I were gone and the girls were babysitting, my youngest pooped his pants, again. They took him out in the back yard, removed his clothing and hosed him down! He screamed and cried and tried to run away while they all laughed. But, he never messed his pants again. And he has no lasting negative side effects from the trauma of that day. :) Like I said, a little drastic, but it worked.
Hi Tiffany - Your friend may want to check out this website: www.peepclinic.com If she doesn't live in Colorado, they probably can provide her with a list of resources in her area.
She can also inquire about programs at her local Children's Hospital. The one in Denver has something called "Dry Time Clinic" 720-777-3926
Both of these deal with all ranges of elimination problems.
Hope that helps to point you in the right direction!
My niece was the same way. My sister tried reward systems, taking privileges away, everything. Finally what worked for her was giving her daughter money. That's right! She just had to find what was a true reward for her little girl, and she paid her a dime or a quarter or whatever, every time she used the toilet. Of course, now that she's finally potty trained, she still thinks she should be paid and has a hard time understanding why she is no longer getting paid to poop, but those are the knocks, I guess.
Not that this will help much, but... My daughter, who is 5, keeps resorting back to the same thing. I've noticed that she would just rather play with poo in her pants than take the time to go. The time has lengthened inbetween the accidents since I stopped putting so much pressure on her. I just take her home (if we're out) clean her up, make her do most of that, I even make her clean her underware out in the toilet. Then she has One punishment, no time in the basement for the rest of the day. The computer and play room are in our basement. All I do is remind her why she can't go downstairs, and she has to find something else to do. At first it was only days, then a week, almost a month,and now it's been just over a month since the last accident. Good luck!
Go see a specialist and rule out medical issues.
this kid has a lot of issues. I have a son that still has accidents and he is 14, But when he was little he was sexually molested by a neighborhood boy. He had such a hard time dealing with this as he was only 4 when it happened. Then all of a sudden, it didn't matter where he went, then he started holding it inside. Constipation hurts also, so when he stopped pooping, it got all hard inside and he would leak all the time. It was not pleasant at all. It was hard being a parent to that. But I see a light at the end of the tunnel. He has been through counceling which helped. Any way maybe someone should look into possible abuse. I wish this family luck.
sometimes the kid just wants attention. Bad attention is still attention. If they just stop punishing him and - i've heard some parents say that they would make the kids stay in the clothes they pooped in (of course cleaning up the poop) that that would help them not do it because they don't like to stink. and people dont like to be around them when they stink... So they could try that... Haven't been thru it personally, but good luck!
make him stay in his poop, dont' let him wear diapers. he'll learn