3 month old refuses to nap

My 3 month old will not nap AT ALL during the day. This changed about 10 days ago. So by the time 4pm comes around she is screaming uncontrollably because she is SO tired. She cries of and on until she finally falls asleep at about 6:30 pm. She sleeps from 6:30 to about 12:30 am. Then wake up again at about 3 or 4 to eat and again at 7 or 8am and is up from then on. She won't even sleep in her carseat while the car is moving. Or the Bjorn. Any suggestions on getting her to nap would be great. Will she grow out of this? I have to go back to work in 2 months and am nervous that if she is still screaming like this at 4:00 pm no caretaker will be able to handle it.

Ok...are you feeding her every 3 hours? I would do my best to get her on an eat play then nap schedule every three hours. I have to say my son really didn't nap during the day until I basically forced him at 4 months. But looking back I don't think I really looked for the signs that he was tired. They say when they look away, rub their eyes, and yawn then that is the time to put them down. Now I have twin girls 6 months old and can tell the signs of sleepiness. Anyway, the way I forced my son was at about 9:30 and 1:30 I would wrap him up in the miracle blanket tight, and rock him to sleep. He would fight me for about a minute or two, but then he would fall alseep because he was tired. Don't give up, you totally can get your baby to sleep. However, sleep specialists say that you really can't sleep train a baby until they are around 4 months or a certain weight. All babies are different so nobody can really be the expert on your baby. I hope this helps, but I would start with the eating every 3 hours and try naps in between and something should stick.

Jen

At three months old he should be going a bit longer than three hours between feedings. Regardless, my suggestion is to read "On Becoming Baby Wise: giving your child the gift of nighttime sleep" by Ezzo and Bucknam. I think most sleep/eat problems people have posted on this site would benefit from it. Also be aware of medical issues that might be present. I would suggest that you talk to your pediatrician but the fact is that most pediatricians deal with the most common problems and thus they try to fix your problem with the most common solutions first. But they don't alwas know exactly what is wrong; they just make an educated guess. All I am saying is that you know your baby better than anyone. If you think there is something wrong, there probably is. If you think it's a normal issue, then you can afford to try to follow the advice of other moms/doctors to see what works best.

I am not in the medical profession, but I am a mother of four. The baby will be hungry every 2-4 hours depending on if you are breast feeding or bottle feeding, so her schedule you wrote seems pretty accurate for her age. I don't know how busy your schedule is or what your feelings are on where a baby should sleep (i.e. always in the crib, if it's okay to sleep with you, or if you let her fall asleep while feeding). Since you are not working right now you might want to lay with the baby; cradle and soothe her to sleep next to you in your bed while nursing or feeding her a bottle. This will work if you are breast feeding or bottle feeding(be sure you are relaxed and not anxious for her to fall asleep; if you are tense and anxious it will take longer for her to fall asleep and it will seem like twice as long to you). If you get up after she falls asleep and secure her sleeping position you probably won't have to worry about her not being able to sleep without you next to her. Eventually the napping will come more naturally once she is used to this routine and feeling secure...Good luck. Just remember to try and be relaxed around your child. It's my philosophy that a relaxed parent nurtures a happy, relaxed child.

Sleep issues are so hard, because they wear out the mom and dad too! As the mom of 3, I feel your pain! I had one great sleeper, one who didn't sleep well at all, and I don't know why they were the way they were. They all sleep through the night now! (the youngest is 3) It is not necessarily your fault at all - sometimes you just have to get through the day knowing it will be better someday. That said, since this started up recently, I would definitely check with your ped (ear infection? tummy issues?), consider any recent food changes, that sort of thing. Also, a book by Brazelton, called "Touchpoints" talks about how sleep patterns change at different points of development. Sometimes they just can't stand sleeping because they are so into some new thing they can do or new awareness of their world. It may be "just a stage". Try to keep a routine, take care of your own sanity, and hang in there!

Try to get her into a daily and nightly routine. Feeding every two to three hours, play and nap time when not feeding. Have you tried to rock her before nap time? It's important to remember to put her in her crib before she goes to sleep when rocking. Is she spitting up alot? If so, perhaps her tummy is bothering her from feeding her. If this continues I would take her to the Doctor's just to have her checked.

The rocking and the daily routine always worked best for me and my children! Hope this helps!

I have a 2 month old and he also gets fussy and cries right before falling asleep for the night too. I'm sure you have heard of the 5 "S"'s (swaddle, suck, shoosh, swing, side/stomach)? I find the best thing that works for us is breast feeding. He will use my boob as a pacifier and fall asleep. Some other tricks we use are holding him and bouncing lightly while sitting on my yoga ball and walking him around while shooshing in his ear.

Have you asked your pediatrician about colic? My daughter, Adriana had "flare ups" between 4-6p.m. and it turned out she had colic. Its worth looking into. I always found once you know why your children are crying, the crying isn't so intolerable. Good luck!
Madeline

My twin girls went through that stage about the same age and the only way I could get them to nap during the day was to put them in their cradle swings. I also played a CD of white noise while they slept (I got that advice from Dr. Harvey Karp's book "The Happiest Baby on the Block). In fact, my daughters who are now 3 yrs. old still like to listen to the CD. They like the rainfall or the ocean waves.

I know Fisher Price sells a beautiful and soothing swing that is called the Papasan that can swing in two different directions. Also, look for CD's online that are just white noise sounds. Ours is called "For Crying Out Loud," or some baby websites sell a whitenoise/ sound machines.

Hope this helps...it was a life saver for our family.

Hi Adriana,

she is probably a little colicky. If you are still nursing, make sure you check your diet - it would be good to make sure that you are not eating things that can cause colick, like beans, and cabbage. I would cut out dairy as well. I have a lady who does Cranio-Sacral Therapy and she gets rid of this kind of thing for people on a regular basis. Where do you live?
Also, Mothering Magazine at www.mothering.com has great archived articles about colick.

This is very stressful for everyone, I hope that you will find ways to make this better. I went through it with my first daughter, and she stopped from one day to the next, after about two months, and it was a very very difficult time for all of us.
Wishing you well,
Sabine E

Hello, I truely understand what you are going thru, but understand, your child feels your frustration. When approaching situations like this the first thing you must do is relax. Children feed of of there parents emotions......There is alot to do with your childs sleeping habits. What kind of activities are going on in your home during the day and how often are you home or out in about? Is your child on formula or breast milk? If on formula, what kind, regular or soy? What time is your baby's last feeding prior to 4pm and how easily would it be to wake your baby up during this tinme for a feeding? I know most mom's will say " let a sleeping child sleep" but a 3 month should already be sleeping thru the night and it is not to late to change their sleeping habits.

I know it can be very overwelming but restasure it will all work out fine.

Please respond,
Moms for life,

Henri

Adriana,
Babies NEED sleep - especially that young. Something is preventing her from sleeping and it sounds like she needs help to go to sleep. Usually babies are tired again within 1.5 of waking. Sometimes sooner. If you miss the window of opportunity to notice the signs and start soothing her, her adrenaline will kick in and she'll get a 2nd wind. After she's been awake for 1 hour (after she's nursed or bottle and light play - no loud noisy toys) - place her back in the bassinet/crib if she can self-soothe, or get a different sling where she is not upright - the Bjorn's are forward facing and upright - too stimulating. Try a New Native, so she can lie sideways against your abdomen and walk around the house with her to get he sleepy. Then take the sling off with her still in it, and lay her in the crib. You can peel away most of the sling, but don't disturb her too much by trying to remove the entire thing. Then after she has been awake for about 2 hours, start a soothing routine all over again. Try giving her a warm bath during the day. The slings really work great. But lose the Bjorn. They separate their legs and are not recommended by chiropractors at that age. They are not conducive to sleep. I really recommend New Native and Over The Shoulder Baby holder. Good Luck!
Deborah

I strongly recommend swaddling. At 3 mos old your baby should be awake no longer than 2 hours at a time...maybe even 90 mins. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child" has a good guide for sleep including naps. A lot of books only talk about night time sleep. I also recommend the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block" it explains how important swaddling is to get your baby to sleep and KEEP them asleep. The swaddle needs to be very snug. a thermal stretchy blanket is best. Or if you can get the miracle blanket. It works wonders. Check it out online I think it's just www.miracleblanket.com I have a 12 mos old and a 3.5 yr old. It worked for both children. Hope these suggestions help.

I have a child that did the same thing. He is 11 and is still that way. He just doesn't want to miss anything. I used to drive in the car for hours and he wouldn't go to sleep. I think just leaving them in their crib for the alloted time, maybe? I never used a crib and maybe that was my problem. maybe he never really learned to soothe himself because i was always there trying to help him. our relationship is still that way, he looks to me to assuage all of his fears and anxieties and it really is my fault for not letting him learn to take care of certain basic needs for himself. I think some children are more hard wired for anxiety, that could be the issue or it may be something simple like a digestive developmental thing. Good luck but try and let her learn how to soothe herself. Good luck!

Adriana,
Don't forget to use your pediatrician and his/her nurses as a resource. They often can give very good advice an things nonmedical. I would say once your baby is up for 2 hours, put her down in a quiet cozy place to sleep. Make sure she is feed and diapered before you do this. So that you can be secure that she has no other reasons to cry. If she cries, which it sounds like she will, let her cry for as long as you can take it, then try again an hour later. Keep trying to give her the opportunity to sleep. But, I would first check with her ped before doing anything further.

Hi Adriana,

First, congratulations and welcome to motherhood! My daughter is now 12, but when she was around that age, she would cry EVERY night from 6:30 pm - 11pm, like clockwork. So, I feel you! Also, remember that babies have been in a warm, dark womb for 9 months, folded in the fetal position. So, being in the "world" for 3 mos is very new to them.

I've read throught the responses and I agree with swaddling. Nothing seems to help babies sleep like swaddling. First, make sure your baby is fed, burpted, changed, etc then swaddle her. Adriana, over the years, my 12 yr old would not sleep through the night, I tried swaddling her at 10 yrs!!! We both laughed hysterically, she thought I was nuts!!! LOL!!!

Also, do you use any mobiles or soothing music in her room or near where she sleeps? This helped my daughter. Even if she were awake, she seemed to enjoy the music.

What do you do with your daughter when she's awake. Do you read to her? Sing to her? Interact? Also, try a baby bouncy seat during the day. My daughter LOVED it and was quiet. I've heard many mothers say their babies even sleep in them, since they are so cozy!!!

Good luck, you're going to learn alot in a short amount of time, so be flexible and just do your best.

Read Read Read... Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, The Baby Whisperer.
She needs to nap- probably 3 times a day and a morning nap should be emerging at a specific time... and then a long stretch at night- 12hours give or take. She may need to cry to learn to self-soothe... babies need the opportunity to learn to self-soothe... and not be over tired- for your sanity and for her health and development.

this so sounds just like my son. I was afraid to get a caretaker too. I suggest you get a few sleep books and read them (I ended up using the "sleep easysolution" book) and start using this. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. For me it got to the point where youd have to rock him for like 40 minutes sometimes more to get him to sleep. Now I put him down, he cries for 5 minutes then naps for an hour!! (he used to only nap for 20 minutes) and he wakes up happy. It is very hard to let them cry, but remember its for their own good (and your sanity!)

Congratulations! You are a very in-tune mom to realize your child is acting out because she is tired. I didn't know until after they fell asleep! Duh! I think babies fight sleep because they are afraid they are going to miss something. It will change. You might try "white noise" such as the vacuum or hair dryer or radio static, good and loud. It soothes most kids, reminding them of womb sounds.

what does the rest of her day look like? when our daughter was young she couldn't take too many activities (or she would struggle with naps)... have you ever tried a semi-structured routine? i know it sounds impossible.... it takes serious commitment, then you see the changes in a week's time or sometimes longer. it's worth it. healthy sleep habits, happy child is a great resource for napping/sleeping tips. it's a bit extreme/routinized but if you mold it to your lifestyle - it has some invaluable ideas! One thing's for sure, you are not alone! Hope she sleeps well today. Aloha