A good friend is expecting her second child and I would like to give her another baby shower. Her first is a 3 year old girl, and they do not want to know the sex of this one. Our friends and her family are mumbling that "its just not proper to have another shower".
Am I wrong to have a "celebration " for her second child as we did for her first?
Your friends and family are not wrong. Normally, it is not done. I think that it is assumed that after the first one, the parents already have everything they need. But I don't think it is wrong. My sister-in-law had three showers. I don't see anything wrong with it. If you want to give your friend a shower, then do it.
It's a have it your way kind of world. Yea, I agree it's unconventional to have a shower for 2nd, 3rd and so-on kids. But here's a great idea...
Throw a 'throw-away' shower. Explain to the guests that the concept is to give gifts that are disposed of i.e. wipes, diapers, dirty diaper baggies (for the diaper bag), diaper genie refills etc. That way it shows you 'know' that after the first shower they got everything new parents could need but know that there are always things needed for a baby.
I'm expecting my 2nd in August and could only wish for such a shower!
Good luck,
rachel
I don't think another shower is appropriate. After all, good friends and close relatives will most likely still be giving some sort of gift after the birth on their own--maybe the first time they see the baby. They're not going to come empty-handed.
Why not have her closest friends get together for a cozy lunch, spa party or something like that so she can relax, enjoy some "me" time and pamper herself a little bit-after the 2nd--there won't be a lot of chances!
Second baby showers are not right in my opinion. I have a friend who is throwing on for a person whose births are 13 years apart and I still don't think that it is right. I say do something special for the Mom like spa day just as another poster suggested.
I was always under the impression that you only had a second shower if the kids were 5 years apart or more. I do love the idea of a special gift for the mom-to-be though :-)
I say go for it! I think it's sweet and it's a sign of love- not a token of things. Have fun!
l.
Then why don't you invite them for an afternoon or evening to "celebrate and honor" the fact that they are expecting a new member of their family? In the invitation, you can say that guests can bring a special gift for the baby or the mom such as books, pampers, cards, poetry, etc. Make it more about the fact that she is expecting and you are happy for her and less about a registry and gifts. People probably feel like it is asking for the same gifts or expense they just spent on her a few short years ago. Just serve food or refreshments, play games and take lots of pictures. "Shower" her with love and well wishes. I think that's fine. Why should we only celebrate the birth of a first child. I had men included in my shower because I felt it otherwise excluded my husband of celebrating the arrival of his first child. All the men that were invited got a real kick out of the whole shower, especially the games. They were like, so this is what you do at a shower! This is cool! Good luck and have fun.
go for it!!! i had a shower when i was pregnant with my 5th. my family threw it for me. they made register and everything. also, i just threw one recently for my cousin who is pregnant with her 3rd boy and her oldest is only 4! the point is, kids destroy things, and clothing styles change..what one child wore 5 years ago does not mean the new baby should have to wear it again now..bedding gets ruined, and diapers are always a necessity. so celebrate! if some don't approve, they won't come. oh well. have fun and do it anyway!
good luck!
It isn't traditional, and some people might take offense, but I think that if you make it clear that it's to celebrate something wonderful in your friend's life rather than a way to stock up for a baby, it will be better received.
I'd state on the invitation that gifts are not necessary, but a little token item for the mom (or let people pool money for a gift cert to have a spa day or something) might be nice. I wouldn't open gifts as part of the party, though.
Good luck!
How wonderful you want to celebrate with her. Every life is a gift and should be celebrated. In our family, we try not to take for granted a baby will be born healthy and celebrate each new one that comes along. I agree with the moms gifts or somehow making it clear it's a celebration and not a solicitation for gifts the naysayers may back off. Good luck!
I'm currently pregnant with my second child (first is a girl and the second is a boy) and I wasn't planning on having a shower either. However, friends have expressed an interest in doing something to at least celebrate this child as well. My one friend suggested we only have a "sprinkle" instead of a big "shower" like the first time around. Friends and family can bring small items (diapers, clothing/onesies, etc) if they want but its more a gathering of friends and family to celebrate the next wonderful addition to the family. Maybe calling it a "sprinkle" instead of a shower will make the friends/family feel a little better.....
I have 3 children and my dear friends have thrown a shower for me each time. Though I know its not the norm, if you are excited about the baby and want to celebrate, so it! You can make it casual and even suggest a group gift of something she needs for this baby. Tell them they may choose not to come if they don't want to.
Hi Shannon,
I don't think it is wrong to have a 2nd baby shower but most of the time this is only done if there is a lot of years between the 2 children (my mom had one b/c there was 11 yrs between my 2 brothers). I think the problem is that with a "shower" people are expected to bring a gift and since she just got all this new and great baby stuff 3 yrs ago these people may not think that they should be expected to bring another gift. What about just having a luncheon rather than a shower to celebrate? Invite some friends and have something light for lunch and have a cake but forgo the games and the gifts. That might make more people happy. Just a suggestion.
Donna
I'm originally from Alabama and we threw baby showers all the time. It didn't matter if it was their 3rd or 4th baby! I think the mother-to-be would appreciate it. I've had 3 babies and had a baby shower for each one. Who cares about it being "proper"? It's a wonderful gesture. Babies are supposed to celebrated anyway...Besides, since they've already had one baby, chances are that money's not quite what it was before and a little help with baby gifts is always welcome.
I'd say go for it. Every baby deserves to be celebrated. Besides moms may need some things for a second baby, like a double stroller, diapers, wipes and clothing, especially if it is a different sex.
You could wait until after the baby is born, so people know what kind of clothing to give.
If the mom is not in need of things, then tell folks no gifts, just come and celebrate with the mom.
Any more what is propper has gone out the window. Between my oldest (twins) and my youngest. There is about a 7-8year differnece. And some people thought that it was in proper to have another baby shower. But my mom thinks that it was a woundefull idea. I am expecting my 4 child right after Christmas. And it took a couple of mins for my husband to reliaze that there will not be another baby shower.
If there is such an issue with another baby shower. Then wait till the baby is born and then have a get together where everyone can either bring something for the new child if they want. This way there is no obligation and the sex of the baby will be known.
Either way that u go. Best of luck and i think that you are a good friend for who wants to do something like this.
I don't think it's "wrong" to want to celebrate the birth of your friend's second child, but a second shower (considering her 1st is only 3 yrs old) is a little extreme. Instead of a 2nd shower, just have a get together with friends and family and do NOT make it "shower-esque" meaning, do not do favors, games, registries, etc. Food and cake is enough to make a pregnant woman happy and if people want to bring a gift, they are more than welcome. Bottom line is, a woman with a 3 yr old probably has most of what she needs for a new baby. Good luck!
My mom wanted to have another baby shower for me when I was pregnant with my 3rd, even though my first was only 5 and my 2nd was only 3. I think she just wanted to have a party, but I talked her out of it. But her idea was to have not so much a baby shower as a congratulations on a new baby party, with the guests bringing things like diapers, wipes, new onesies (without spit up stains!) and gift cards for places like Wal-mart and grocery stores. I liked this idea, but still didn't want a party (you have to know my mom to understand my reluctance!). If you go ahead with this plan, make sure you are specific on the invitations on what type of party it is and what kind of gifts can the guests bring. This should help alleviate some of the grumbling. Good luck!!