Would You Let Your Daughter Wear Pants?

Yes I would. I also let my 3 year old boy wear is sisters dresses and skirts all the time if he wants too.

I remember that we were not allowed to wear pants! I had not thought of that in years!
When I was in 6th grade they finally started letting Friday be "pants day" for girls. It snowballed after that. I would imagine it was at about the same time Mary Tyler Moore started wearing pants on the Dick Van Dyke show.
Oh, and my mom let me wear pants all the time... I was a tomboy and loathed dresses.

I would probably let my girl wear pants, but I wouldnt let my boy pierce his ears, at 3 or 13, guess I am more like my dad than I ever thought I would be. My brother came home with a magnetic earring when he was about 17/18 and my dad had a fit, he always said boys should have short hair, be clean cut and not earrings. I know back to the double standards, but I pretty much feel the same way.

I'm not sure I follow how you equate adult women wearing pants, working, etc with a child's choice to dress (in?)appropriately.
What sort of a parent lets kids choose every little thing?
If the kid declares "I've decided I'm a nudist today - I'm going to school without clothes", I guess I'd be a fab parent to 'support' little Johnny in his decision?
Um - no.
I want to know why adults are shying away from decision making.
Sorry folks, sometimes giving a kid a choice is WRONG.
Adults need to 'parent up' and BE the grown ups.

yes, I would let my daughter wear pants.
Girls and boys are different and that is all there is to it. What is wrong with boys and girls having different types of clothing. Yes, girls wear pants, but the cut is different and more feminine than men's style pants. Even womens jeans are different from mens jeans. So, if a boy wears a skirt will it be a skirt styled for a boy or a skirt styled for a girl? Why is it wrong for boys to be masculine and girls feminine. This does not mean that a boy is not sensitive and a girl that is feminine can still be strong and independent.
I think that it is O.K. to express yourself and to be different, but at the same time you don't want your kid to be considered a freak. Social norms need to be followed to a point. I would strongly discourage my boy from wearing a skirt and I would not buy him one and yes I let my daughter wear pants - double standard maybe - Boys and girls are different and that is all there is to it - Why would we want them to be the same, the beauty of the human race is that we are different. does living by social norm make my kids opressed in anyway? I don't think so. A boy wearing a skirt and a woman being able to vote, drive etc... are two different things. Sure a boy or man can wear a skirt - it is not a crime, but they may be looked at as a freak. When woman could not vote, drive etc... it was a crime - they were oppressed, they did not have the right to do the things men were doing.
So that is my ramble on the subject - not sure if I answered the question or if I even made my point, but I tried!

I agree with B. I frankly can't believe you let your son get his ears pierced at age 3. And yes, that is permanent. Once they heal, the holes are always there. A few of these questions have come up lately and I have responded to them. I think kids need to be kids until they are legally 18, then they can pierce and tattoo whatever they want, I can't stop them. But I think they have a better understanding of *what* they are doing to themselves at 18 than they do at 3. JMO. Good luck.

I already don't care if my kids "gender bend" so, yes, 50 years ago I would feel the same way. My mom was a bit of a rebel getting a bikini when they were considered scandelous. She wore pants when she could.
Toys are toys and clothes are clothes. Don't see any genitalia on them that say otherwise.
My son did ask for dresses when he was younger. He wanted ones with Disney Princesses. The reason we said no was not because boys don't wear dresses but because we knew he'd be unhappy about how restrictive they are to play in and we knew he'd destroy them. He's a very active child! Our daughter wears dresses because she's not nearly as physically active as my son is. If she were we would not be putting her in dresses either. So the choice would be based on the same reason, not because "they're for girls".
If this were 50 years ago I'd be a force to recon with ;) Hate gender stereotypes with a passion!

I would not let a three year old boy or girl make the choice of having their ears pierced or the kind of clothing they will be wearing to school, camp, church, family gatherings etc. If a child wants to play dress up at home or at a friends and the parents are fine with it, let them play dress up to their hearts content. There is a "place and time" for everything.

What will you do when your three year old asks for a tattoo?

We have come a long way, some of this is good and some NOT so good. Everytime I see a beautiful young teen or adult covered in tattoos and/or multiple piercings, it makes me sad for them.

The last thing I want to do is to have my wait person in a restaurant come to the table with things sticking out of every possible orafice...and in some cases oozing because of infection.

Sometimes we as parents NEED to say no or you will have to wait until you are better able to make your own decisions, and as your parents, we will decide when that time comes until you are 18.

Yep, I was born 48 years ago and I rejected dresses at the age of 5 (much to my mother's disappointment because she thought I looked cute in them). But to my mom's credit, she supported me on my decision. Of course, she was a trail blazer in many other ways as were both my grandmothers.

Just for a little historical perspective, I'm 56 and we were not allowed to wear pants to school til my first year in high school. That wasn't that long ago was it? This was public high school in Southern Californnia.

Not long ago, a man showed up at Contra Dance wearing a kilt. Great legs, he looked good in that "skirt"!

I would always support these choices of my son. I would always support him, being him. I would always support him taking against against a norm society proceeds as right, which is wrong. However, it would be irresponsible of me, to allow him to walk out the door, without telling him how he could be challenged.

If my son were, say...a Christan missionary in a anti- Christian (or extremist) area...I wouldn't keep from him being educated. I wouldn't turn a blind eye, to the fact, that others will not like what he is doing. I would support his decision, encourage it, be proud of it, and I would educate him on the bigotry and hate of others. The Army does not send people into war willy nilly. There is boot camp, physiological evaluations, weapons training, mental and emotional training. (I know these are extreme examples, but I just napped, I'm a little hazy, and can't think of anything else. I'm not saying a kid wearing a skirt, is like being sent to war.) Do you see what I mean? I think we owe it to our children, to teach them about bigotry they could encounter. To empower them to be themselves, and give them confidence to do that. They should also know, not everyone will like it. It's OK to be "different," but there will always be people afraid of it. I don't want my son walking out the door, having NO idea, that there are mean people in the world. Educating about other people's issues, does not mean one is discouraging their child. Like I said, not everyone in the world will wear a skirt, for that child. I don't think it's responsible parenting to usher him out the door with confidence, to have him shattered, by awful people he didn't know were out there :( I would hope the father will give his son tools in dealing with mean people, who will inevitably come his way.

For the record, I don't give a flip what my 3 year old son plays with, or wears. i DO give a flip, about meanies he could come into contact with. You better believe I will teach him how to deal with them. I would never tell h im, that he can't wear a skirt. I would certainly tell him, that other people will try and say that. Then, I would give him the tools to deal with that. When I read about that father, it didn't appear he was doing that. He was walking around in a skirt too, but then what? What happens when the boy is at school, away from him? Did he teach him how to deal with that? I hope so. He son will definitely stop being himself, is he has no idea how to deal with bigots. It will be crushing, instead of difference making.

Yes, I would let my daughter wear pants. I have a 4 year old who is definately a 'tomboy princess'. She puts her heels on and goes out and digs for worms. And she loves super heros. The last time I bought her jammies, I had to shop in the boys section because she asked me for batman jammies. I bought her batman, spider man and Scooby Doo (all out of the boys section). They are her favorite pajamas. Should I have told her 'No honey, you are a girl so you must wear princess jammies"? Ummm, no. There is nothing wrong with a girl wearing pants and a spider man tee shirt. And I see nothing wrong with a boy in a skirt with pierced ears. Every human being has the right to figure out who they are and experiment in a way that does not harm anyone else. And small people are people too. My 4 year old is as much of a person as I am.

Just my opinion.

I think the idea that certain items of clothing or jewelry should be restricted to one sex or the other is beyond asinine. I like to think that 50 years ago. I would have felt the same.

Yes to the pants, no to the earring... not ever, but not at three years old. Of course, I wouldn't pierce my daughter's ears at three either...

I probably would because i myself would wear pants. I think double standards are dumb.

I'm honestly not sure. I mean, given that the way I would be socialized in the 1950s would be radically different than the 80's and 90's, and that we are a result of the relationship between nurture and nature, I have no idea who I'd BE if I were to have been a woman in the 1950's.

Hypothetically speaking, I suspect I may have been among the many women who ended up in inhumane psychiatric facilities as a result of their invincibility to assimilate and conform. Conformity has never been my strong suit.

I'm sensitive too. It's taken me many years to realize this, but it's true. Things really get to me. They stick with me and shape my dreams. In those days we didn't have a word for domestic violence. It was just...the way things were. Not to say that every household engaged in DV. It was normal though, from what my parents describe of their households. Too, it seems a time where women had to depend on their partnerships for security, and where speaking out was dangerous. I'm just not sure I could survive that. Or that I could survive it half way. I think I would have run away to Greenwich to become a drunken, insane, artist, or some such thing. God I love Anne Sexton. Maybe she would have been my friend, or people like her. But see, that kind of illustrates my point.

Anyway. I'm not answering your question am I.

Let me try again. I don't have boys, I have two girls. Though, right now my little one is adamant that she is a boy. Like daddy. Anyway, I have two rough and tumble babies, kids who don't really understand our culture's gender roles yet. School will probably be quite the shock. I let them engage in "boy" activities. I try not to limit their (consensual, safe, environmentally appropriate) wrestling, tree climbing, dragon taming, sword fighting ways. Likewise, when they nurture and are gentle, I don't interrupt it. My little one is the nurturer and my eldest the huntress.

If I had boys (wouldn't that be fun - goodness I want to have more children) I don't think I'd limit their play any more than I do my girls. Besides, with two strong headed older sisters, he'd have to amend his activities to fit theirs at times. Meh. I just don't see the big deal in clothes or pretty sparkles. I mean, I hate wearing skirts (most of the time) because it in combers my movement. But heck, some days it's pretty nice to get all breezy! You know. And I practice being an ally to the GLBTQ community. So, there's that.

In the fifties I hope I would be one of those women that didn't care when she got whispered about. 'Cause, if I was anything like I am now, I wouldn't be very good at normal.

Yes, I would have. People forget that men once wore dresses as a default. Women have fought long and hard (and are still fighting) for equality among the sexes. IMO, it would be morally remiss for us to turn the tables on men. Gender equality does not just apply to women.

Clothing choice is not the same as a tattoo. Tattoos are for life, clothing is for the moment and can change as an individual does.

Historically speaking, men wearing pants is a pretty recent fad!

I get uncomfortable when my son wants a pink lamp for his room, etc. so I don't think I'd be able to let him wear a dress in public. But I know that's my issue with what other adults would think, and I try not to project my hangups onto him. Great question.

Ive seen some of the guys on project runway wear skirts, or man-dresses. There is a guy in this season that does it, to each their own.

I got my daughters ears pierced at 2 months old. My son never asked me but I would have let him, instead he dyed his hair every color of the rainbow and wore black. He was an awesome teenager with many talents. Both of my older children sport tats. They are both professionals in their work and I am really happy how I raised them. If my son wanted to wear a skirt , go for it. My daughter never wanted to wear skirts. She fishes and raises reptiles. My son is a chef and a photographer. They are happy.

I let my daughter wear pants, but I can't say I would have had I had her 50 years ago.

My gosh, I don't know what grade I was in and my mother made me get a note from the principal saying that it was okay for girls to wear pants to school. She let me wear pants and shorts at other times, but definitely not at school. In my family, it wasn't considered proper. I have female relatives from the South that have never worn a pair of pants a day in their lives. Some of them are now in their 80's. It's not that pants were "taboo", little boys were fairly strictly and smartly dressed as well. For instance, wearing a T-shirt to school would have been the same as wearing their underwear. Now, almost everyone wears T-shirts of some kind.

Things have definitely evolved. Definitions of what is proper have changed. It's impossible to say what we might have done 50 years ago, especially if we weren't even alive then.

My mom ultimately let me wear pants to school, but oddly enough, as an adult, I own very few pants. I wear dresses. I've always had to dress well for work and I guess I'm more comfortable in dresses or skirts even in casual situations. But that's just me.

I'm 57 and wore pants all the time as a child. Skirts and dresses were for dress-up occasions and church.

.

I understand your point. I have a beautiful picture of my son wearing a little kilt at the Scottish games (of course, all the men were wearing their kilts too.)

(I WILL tell you that no matter how much my little 3 year old, whether boy or girl, asked for pierced ears, I would have said no.)

There for a while, European men were wearing "man bags" and you still see them some in Asia, maybe in the US, I'm not sure. It's a version of a pocketbook. It didn't seem to catch on. Maybe it will come back into vogue in a few decades, who knows?

I think that product development is part of it, and as people start to like it, society allows it to be incorporated into their fabric of social mores.

By the way, in Roman times, men wore types of dresses, so it isn't like no man other than the Scots have worn something other than pants.

Dawn

Sure. I was a punk in my youth, so I'd be OK with everyone looking at us funny .

The Scott's wear skirts! I don't know what I would do in your situation...I'd probably let him wear a skirt. As for ear piercing...maybe one ear, not both. But I don't have a son who asks for those things.

He has come and said "Sissy wants me to play dress up but all she has are dresses...should I put it on?". I answered "Do you want to?"..."not really but I will"...

We went and got him some boy stuff to dress up in. Now they play that way. But that is what he wanted.

So I guess in your shoes I would let him wear a skirt. But, I would definitely sit him down and give him the truth about what others will say...and then encourage him to wear them because he wants to.

I get your point but I think pants for women have been acceptable (atleast in some situations) for much longer. I have pictures of my Mom in the 40s and my sister in the 50s wearing pants. They didn't wear them to formal occasions and people dressed more formally but they did wear them quite often. I've always had pants since I can remember. I do recall we had a dress code at school for the first two years, girls couldn't wear pants and boys couldn't wear jeans or let their hair grow longer than a certain length related to their collar. The exception for girls was if the temperature was a specific temperature or below. Both the dress and hair rules were gone by the time I entered High School.

I think there is a time and a place for everything, I also think it is important for children to learn this early. In addition, I think understanding and following dress codes are important in everyday life, so if the dress code, time and place were appropriate and my son should ask then I do not think I would say no. Regarding the ears I would not allow it until 14 for a boy or a girl, period.

I am all for kids expressing themselves but no way would I let my son get his ear pierced at 3! I mean, you can't even send a kid to kindergarten before 5. There is such a rush for kids to grow up and look and act older. I would not get my 3 yo daughter's ear pierced either. I think kids are beautiful when they are simple, well groomed and look the way God intended. No mohawks, hairpieces, makeup beyond playtime, earrings, ect. I think that you can wear anything you want in the privacy of your own home and if you are creative and beautiful, continue to wear it outside as well. But honestly, boys look stupid in dresses and you are handicaping your child by encouraging them to look like fools outside the house. As for your question, I would like to think I would allow my daughter to wear pants 50 years ago because it was a sign of independance and I am all for that.