I'm really mad!
My 14 year old (yes the one expecting a baby next month) has been attending classes at her high school in the alternative program due to her situation. The teacher that is assigned to this group has had a history of being very unprofessional and down right childish. On one occasion, he cornered my older 17 year old daughter alone in a hallway and threatened to sue her because he heard she had said something derogatory about him. He called me and apologized to both her and I saying in hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea. (ya think?!)
So, he has been my other daughter's teacher for a while now and I am always hearing about things he says to her that are very questionable and childish. The day before yesterday, she had her earphones on working at a computer like she was supposed to be and her phone chimed because she received a text message and had forgotten to shut off her phone. (They are allowed to have them in this class) So, this teacher (Mr. A) walks up behind her and started jabbing her in the back with his pen because she did not hear it. She asked him not to poke her with his pen and he told her "to get over herself". She tried to get back to work but decided she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave because she was upset. As soon as she went to leave, he informed her she would be expelled for the rest of the year for walking out.
He called me and tried to tell me that he was only trying to playfully poke her with the pen (mind you, she is 8 months pregnant) and he said I will have to meet with the principal to discuss her expulsion. I informed him I wanted HIM in that meeting also and he acted surprised but finally agreed to be there also. I also told him that he has acted VERY unprofessional on many occasions and the fact that she has a child on the way makes it even MORE important that we keep her on track with her education and that if he can't handle students (alternative students no less) then he needs to find another profession or get a thicker skin!
We are all sitting down Monday morning. I just want to rip this guy's head off! Maybe that's the mommy tiger in me. I don't know. How would YOU handle this?
That is totally ridiculous. Go to the meeting with a list of what he has done so you are prepared and stay calm. Good luck and please remember to tell us what happened.
If she's not allowed to leave, she's not allowed to leave. I don't get why it should be ok for her to leave if it's not allowed.....
In the old days it probably wouldnt have been an issue for a teacher to try and get a students attention in that fashion... but now days I guess it's not appropriate so he will probably get in trouble and maybe lose his job.
You should tell your daughter to be more responsible, I'm sure a ringing cell phone in class is pretty much a distraction and a slap in the face to a teacher who should be getting some kind of respect for being a teacher.
I think they are both in the wrong.
You're wanting to rip a guy's head off for poking your daughter with a pen trying to get her attention. Hmmm, the teachers at my daughter's school (junior high) are always getting down on kids' levels and trying to relate. I like that they are human and relate to the kids in different ways. (And if your kid says something about being treated a certain way, I would probably think the story was embellished. Teenagers are good at creating drama where there isn't any.)
Your daughter was wrong. She left her phone on. He was probably trying to get her attention and give her the benefit of the doubt without just plain expelling her right there. I also think you're wrong, and it looks like I'm at odds with most of the posters on here. I think you're overreacting to this incident. It's not like he slapped her upside the head to get her attention.
Seriously some of you?? Bring a laywer?? What about just following the rules and admitting when you're wrong?
Just to play the devil's advocate I think you should consider the "teenage-girl filter". I work exclusively with teenagers and love my job but it can be very difficult when students interpret actions and words through their hormones and self-centeredness. I coached competitive cheerleading and there were times when I would tell a girl to push harder or point her toes and she would tell her parents that I told her she sucked and even that I hated her. They are just not always reliable in their perceptions of the situation. I think he certainly acted unprofessionally but to go in there with an agenda beyond creating a positive environment for your child is counterproductive. You also need to remember that he has 150 students that he has to take care of and your daughter is just one so her personal situation does not necessarily trump the other students. I hope that you are able to resolve the situation and I hope that he does get reprimanded if he has been disrespectful but just thought you might want an alternative perspective.
He can't expel her for walking out. He can report her and they can give her detention, but not expulsion! He should not be touching her with any object (whether she's pregnant or not). Get the teacher and the principal in a meeting. Make very sure that your daughter has her facts straight and isn't just telling a good story to get your attention.
Calm down, write things down (facts only, no judgments or editorializing), make sure your daughter verifies it (and tell her it's going to be brought up in the meeting so it better be accurate. She should probably be there for at least part of the meeting. And write down everything he told YOU directly when he called you. If you weren't perfect, that's not awful - he is the one who is held to professional standards.
She's having a baby so she needs to become empowered and an advocate for herself.
If he is threatening to sue and to expel, then you must be the most calm and rational one in the meeting so that his erratic and unprofessional behavior stands out. If you yell or threaten him with disciplinary action, then you will appear to be part of the problem. Be firm, business-like, and report the behaviors that concern you.
Your definately right it is the Mommy tiger coming out butI have learned from experiences that if you go in & rip him a new one then nothing gets done. You need to have all documentation written down with dates even all the calls from him & what was said be professional but be stern & then if that don't work go to the district. I had a teacher call my daughter stupid in front of the whole class(mind you this teacher at parent night told me she had no idea what she was doing cause never taught this class before) I was like you Mommy tiger blazen.. but handled it professionally & now teacher is no longer employed... Good Luck
He was totally inappropriate in the way he handled this situation..
He also needs to be trained in how to handle teen/pregnancy moms. She is hormonal even if she is 14 and has memory losses, is extra sensitive and can also be a mama bear. Anyone who had been trained, would have known this.
Yes, also because your daughter is going through this, she may have to work harder to remember to silence (keep the phone on vibrate) the entire time she is at school. Maybe have a note on the bathroom mirror to remind her while brushing her teeth?
Also empower her. She is so young, but you need to explain to her that she has rights as a young woman and soon to be mom, to ask politely and respectfully, for other people to not "poke her" "threaten her" and to "please act professionally " around her.
I do not know if you feel she is emotionally able to attend this meeting, but in high school, I always had our daughter deal with these situations on her own at first and then I would assist. It shows the administration she IS mature and can handle these situations.
He was definitely in the wrong here, but don't go into the meeting with guns blazing. It will just make you look childish like this guy and you will lose credibility. You have a right to be upset and I would make that clear to him and the principal, but don't stoop to this guy's level. Your best course of action is to document these incidents so the principal is aware of this harassing behavior by the teacher. Make sure there isn't more to the story from your daughter as well. It is best to be rational in these types of situations. I think expelling her would be a little extreme at this point given what you described happened. Good luck!
A.
Parents in my district would be bringing their lawyers to that meeting! do you have a friend or relative who is a lawyer?
I would not recommend a lawyer just because he poked her with a pen but because they are not threatening with expulsion! She has already left the regular High School for the alternative there is no other alternative for her and above all I want her to finish High School!
Calm down, write a list, speak slowly and plainly. If you get all upset in a meeting they could write you off as "over reacting" but if you come cool and collected with a list of issues you wish to discuss they will take you seriously. Don't let them drive the conversation into directions that do not cover what you want covered - we have been dealing with the school for 2 years to get my daughter services and all the win-win meetings are not changing one thing for my daughter so now we have a legal advocate and a psychologist coming with us next meeting.. Most of all, think this weekend about exactly what it is you wish to accomplish in this meeting. You cannot just go in to complain about the situation, but need to have some specifics as a goal. Just saying he acted unprofessional on many occasions without any kind of proof or substantiation is going to be hard. You may need to request that others attending his class support you, even in a letter of email. I had to get letters from others who know my child outside of school to substantiate that she is not depressed, but only hates school.
Good luck, mama bear.
Wow, you've already handled it waaay better than I would have!! He needs some sense knocked into him... literally knocked the effe into him. I hope with every ounce of my being this costs him his job. He's singling your daughter out and being a BULLY. It's like he's unhappy with his teaching situation and directing that angst towards your daughter. I don't like this at ALL, I'm so sorry you guys are going through this.
Document everything. Make it known that he's contacted you at home to apologize. He's just covering his @ss... the same stuff is still happening at school. Any normal person would be applauding your very pregnant under age daughter for continuing with school instead of dropping out in her current condition. This guy is a d!ck and is not providing a healthy learning environment. I hope you fight this tooth and nail and WIN. This dude has no business around students. Keep us posted and GOOD LUCK!!
They would have to call security.
Good for you! Go Mama! You let him have it on monday and support your daughter just as you are. No one has the right to touch your kid--especially a teacher and a person in a position of authority.
M
yeah he sounds like he has a problem. regardless how old she is we ALL are wuite sensative because we are pregnant. and being that she is younger special precautions do need to be taken. she is (as far as I;m concerned once you hit 7 months your due any day) so i'm quite sure she has alot of thoughts, fears and everything else on her mond right now. and since they have already had an unpleasant encounter he should really stay out of her face PERIOD. and why is he poking anybody with a pen. HMMMM... be just better be glad it;s not me walking in that meeting!Best of luck to you
Get a lawyer and take the lawyer to the meeting. Seriously, it will be much cheaper to preempt them expelling her. I mean it. Do it today.
Well, I have no good advice, just wanted to let you know I'm totally with ya. I'd be furious! I'd have a hard time not getting violent with him. haha. I think if you explain the the principle the problems before, and how HE made YOUR daughter uncomfortable, then they will probably tread lightly on your daughter, and hopefully rougher on this @$$ hole.
Alternative school programs are set up differently than regular school. I remeber one of my friends go married in high school. If she wanted to go home she just called her husband and told him to call and tell them he wanted her to come home.
Alternative schools are usually much more lenient about those types of things. He obviously is not the corrent teacher to be teaching this class. What if she had been having contractions and didn't know what it was and just wanted to go home and he didn't even let her call her mom?
He should not be cornering her in any hallway or poking her with a pen...if a student did that it would be considered assualt.
