Advice on Problem with Teachers...

Updated on March 01, 2010
J.M. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
30 answers

I'm going to try to make this as simple as possible! My son is in first grade and very bright. His school is rated "Exemplary". He's getting good grades and has friends...things are pretty good for him. Because of all this, I feel as though I shouldn't rock the boat or complain about what's happening in his class; but part of me just feels that something needs to be said.
His teacher is a super-nice lady. I think she's really funny & great to be around--as an adult. She's very strong, too. She suffered two devastating losses over the summer and showed up the first day of school and has been there ever since. Had I gone through what she's been through, I know I wouldn't be functioning nearly as well as she is. To top things off, she's been given three of the most difficult (active, defiant, noisy, inattentive) kids in the whole grade.
My problem is that the class is complete pandamonium. I'm in the school at least twice a week, and there are always at least two kids dancing or jumping around & laughing (while the kids are supposed to be working, quietly at their seats). My 6 year old is crying when it's time for homework because, for instance, the assignment is to put quotation marks in the right place in a sentence, and he has never been taught how to do that. My guess is that either it was too crazy in the class for her to get around to teaching it, or it was too crazy in the class for my son to be able to pay attention to what was being taught. Either way, I'm finding that I'm teaching him the material quite a lot after school. I've heard other parents complain about this sort of thing (and MANY comment on the roudiness of the class) but nobody wants to be the one to complain after everything that this poor woman has been through.
I'm also concerned because it's my son's second year in the class of the absolute (for lack of a better word...he's really just a troubled little guy, I think) naughtiest boy in the grade, and I feel like if he's in the same class as this kid for another year, my son is really going to miss out on a "normal" school experience. He's now had kindergarten and first grade in crazy, out-of-control classes, and I think he's going to suffer for it in the long run.
Finally, due to weather and to a sinus infection that turned into an ear infection, my son was out of school for a week and a half. I asked his teacher, several times, if there was work I could pick up for him to do while he was out. She just said, several times, "He's not really missing anything." That really concerned me, because I would sure HOPE that over a week and a half, they would learn SOMETHING important!
Any suggestions? I could really use some advice. I sure don't want to make things even harder than they already are for this woman, but I also want the best for my son--as well as the other kids in that class.

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So What Happened?

Wow! What a huge response! I'm setting up a meeting with the teacher this week. I've offered to step in & help, however I can, many times, but she always says she's fine. I used to teach, too, and one of the things I liked about it was the autonomy....maybe she's the same way. I don't really know what, exactly, I could do to help--the kids get really excited when they see visitors, so my being in the class might not even help much. But I do want to stress to her that my son is having a hard time concentrating in the class and that it is VERY important to me that he not be in that child's class again, next year. We are not given the option to request certain teachers or "unrequest" certain students, and I've heard that the principal really frowns upon that, but I'm going to see what I can do about this.
Whatever I do, I'm going to at least start off by talking to the teacher. I would've been absolutely humiliated if one of my students' parents went over my head about a discipline issue in my class. As I said, I'd like to do this in a way that will help my son but not hurt this teacher, if possible!
Thanks, so much for all your help! I'll let you all know the results!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Request to the Principal the teacher you want next year and even request that he not be put in the same class with the other kids again. Parent's can request certain teachers each year. Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to the teacher like everyone has said. When you go to enroll next year they will allow you to "Non request" to teachers and two students. Non request that particular student. If you know what teacher you want next year then you can narrow down the field by Non requesting a teacher or two.

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

I taught for 5 years in a classroom (with multiple ADD/ADHD etc. children) and now school my children at home. It sounds like she could use an extra set of hands and eyes to help her out during the class time, in order to help the children who aren't getting the instruction they need because of the more demanding needs for attention that the other children are displaying. Is there anyway that you can volunteer in the classroom to help her out? This way the teacher has a chance to work with more children at the same time. It is really hard to get to everyone when a few are trying to create chaos. Another adult who is focused on the task at hand could really be a help.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would sit down with the principal and express your concerns about the teacher and also about the little boy who seems to be causing the trouble.
The principal might not be aware of how much the losses over the summer have affected this teacher and her job and might be able to get her some help or counseling that could help her. She might just need to know that people care and are there to help her out.
As far as the little boy is concerned, if the teacher is not informing the parents about his behavior (it sounds like she's not) the principal will need to address the issue with his parents. Maybe because of what this teacher is going through, he could be put in a class with someone who is more focused.
Also, approach the teacher and let her know that you are concerned about her and that she seems distracted and if you are willing, let her know what you could do for her to help- she might just need an ear to listen to her.
good luck.
~C.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think your concerns are valid. You need to be an advocate for YOUR child. You should not temper your feelings because of the teacher's personal situation... it was HER decision to come back to work, so she needs to be ready.

You need to first address the teacher with specific details and specific dates. Do not make generalizations (like, "I hear parents talk about..."). The example about the quotation marks is good. However, also realize that it's very likely she did teach the material to class but your son was distracted and didn't hear or didn't pay attention (either due to the disruptive kid or just simply because all kids get distracted from time to time, even the best kids.) Figure out some realistic solutions that you think you can live with and would maybe be beneficial to other students as well, and make those suggestions to the teacher.

Make an appointment to come back to class. Be honest with your concerns but be kind. Be firm but gentle. Most of all, make sure she knows you want to work with her to make the class better. Help her understand that you want to make her classroom situation better, together. That way, it does not seem like you vs. her.

Figure out how long you will allow this to go on if you don't see a change. Only at that point should you even darken the principals doorstep. Do NOT go over the teacher's head until you've tried unsuccessfully to work with the teacher. If you see the principal, do the same as above (specific instances, suggested solutions, etc.)

I think you have every right to request that your child not be in the same class with that one disruptive boy. I also think it is absolutely okay to tell the principal that they need to reel that child in, be it with an IEP or in-school suspension, whatever. But, when all is said and done, try to remember that your child will have disruptive kids in his class, to one degree or another, for his whole life. And this may serve as a learning curve for him on how to deal with these people in life.

Good luck.

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S.G.

answers from Topeka on

It's nice that you are concerned about the teacher and her personal issues. However as long as you have a legitimate concern then it needs to be addressed. My first approach would be to talk with the teacher. Let her know you are concerned about the situation with your son seemingly not covering material in class or him not understanding the material - leave it open don't accuse. Ask if she has any suggestions as to what the problem might be. I would also talk to her about the class being chaotic and how you think it might be affecting your child and other students.

You have to speak up for your child. Look at it this way you might be wrong about what the true problem is and this will help you find the true problem. On the other hand if you are correct then the teacher is now aware that you are watching. Either way you are on your way to helping your child.

Finally, be calm and respectful, the teacher is your partner in educating your child. If this approach doesn't work then you need to take it to the next level.

Good luck.

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

It is legitimate to feel concerned about the situation in your son's classroom. I am a public school teacher, so I know what it can be like when you have one little monster on your hands. The truth is, there is always going to be at least one trouble-maker. Elementary school is all about learning social norms and how to behave. If your son misses a few bits of instruction, he will have opportunities to pick them up later on in his education. It's good that you are helping him after school. Most children are going to forget things due to an undeveloped ability to retain new information. So much is going to be presented to him daily. He is bound to forget a few things. Practice and repetition at home and in school is going to solidify the new information. Overcoming distractors is a good thing for him to learn now as well. Just because there is some brat acting up in his class, does not mean he cannot be responsible for his own learning.
This trouble-maker is probably not getting these lessons at home or is learning them the wrong way. In my experience with parents, the child acts out, because no one at home cares enough to correct their poor behavior or punishes unfairly and too harshly. Its not a fine line, but there are methods that work better than others.
It is okay to communicate your concern to your son's teacher. It is also okay to communicate with the parents of the other student. It takes a village to raise any child. Many parents have a miss-conception that they pay their taxes, send their kid to school and their kid will come home with an education. Any problems that arrise will be dealt with, because they have paid their dues. When has any government system/program worked so well? Your son's teacher has a job to do, but she really is managing someone else's mess (poor parenting). Unfortunately she has a shorter amount of time to do it and that time is divided by the number of kids in the room. In my classroom, I can spend an average of about 1 minute and 37 seconds with each student per day(assuming I'm not doing anything else). If I spend 5 minutes with one student, because he/she wants to be a pain, 2 of my other students had to be ignored that day.
You mentioned being at the school twice a week. If you are avaiable to lend a hand in your son's classroom ( you or any other concerned parent), you can volunteer to help with the situation. It's always better to have a second adult in the classroom. Most schools welcome parent volunteers. The teacher can actually teach and when someone acts out of line, you can pull them aside and explain why their behavior is not okay. If they don't get it now, it will become a permanent habit later.
I hope this has helped.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

It is your son's teacher's responsibility to put aside her personal situation when she is in the classroom . If she is unable to do this then she should seek counseling from the employee assistance program. It is also the responsibility of the principal to be aware of what is going on in the classroom. If this teacher was given a particularly rowdy classroom, why hasn't she been given assistance such as a teachers aide to help keep the class in control. The behavior of the rowdy kids also need to be addressed by their parents and the principal. It is unacceptable that such behavior is permitted in the classroom on a daily basis.

I feel it is absolutely necessary for you to say something. Your responsibility is to advocate for your son. Have a meeting with the principal and put your concerns in writing. Also, Write a letter to the school stating that you do not want your son in the same class as the disruptive child.

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

Oh my... Something does need to be done. What I have to say is going to be similar to what others have said, but with a different spin. I am a teacher and this year I have the most difficult, naughty, impulsive, immature and chaotic class that I have EVER had. Classroom management has always, since teaching school, been my strongest area - making learning naturally happen more easily - it's just my thing, a personality trait; others are far better at other things. I know the kids aren't learning as much as they could be, not as much as they have in past years. My issues actually lie with the principal - I have ZERO backup in the discipline, making a point arena. I send someone to the principal's office and they have a "chat" - her words, not mine - and they promise to make better choices. This happens over and over and over again - I have heard the kids say to each other, "Say sorry and you'll get out of it." If you do go to the principal, which I think maybe you should, perhaps give the teacher a heads up about it. Then, frame it to the principal in terms of something being done to get the "naughty" kids' parents involved - don't make it a teacher issue.

That being said, this is what I would like to happen in my classroom - the situation with your son's teacher sounds a little bit different. The fact that he's "not really missing anything" in a week and a half is very worrisome to me. Even with my toughest class, there is plenty of learning that happens in that amount of time! You can also ask that your son not be in the class with the "naughty" little boy next year. However, don't be surprised if he is still in his class - chances are, many, many parents have requested their children not be in his class. It's impossible to separate everyone. That could be why your son's class is "heavy loaded" with difficult kids this year - the only ones that didn't request to be out of that boy's class.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to the teacher. Break down your concerns into two or three clear points (e.g. overall roudiness of the class, and that your son seems to be needed extra help at home with some of the materials). If you approach her politely, and don't attack, she will hopefully listen and make some changes. Then, wait two weeks and see if anything changes. If not, go to the next person in the chain of command at school and voice your concerns. As a former teacher, I can't stress enough how important it is to talk to the teacher first about any concerns. In many cases, the teacher is eager to hear concerns and wants to work with the parents to solve them. Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

Dear J.:

I would feel the same way you do, sympathy for the teacher and not wanting to rock the boat, but you do need to speak to the principal about this. Your son's teacher does have the job to teach and keep control of the classroom. Unfortunately, it sounds like not a lot of either is going on.

I think I would try to look at a conference with the principal as arranging the extra help this teacher needs. This teacher has a challenging class; maybe some of the students can be reassigned to other classes or some teacher aides can be assigned to help?

You are right that your son should be missing a lot from missing a week and a half!! My daughter had a mountain of work when she missed three days in grade school!!

It would be even better if a number of parents would speak to the principal together, stressing that they like the teacher, but are concerned about her very challenging classroom. But if nobody else will step forward, you do need to because your son deserves a good learning environment.

L. F., mom of a 14-year-old daughter

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L.A.

answers from Reno on

Please please tell the principal of your concerns. It's the principal who will evaluate the teacher and who has the power to do something about this. If it's a recent thing, the teacher may just need a wake up call, but if it's not something needs to be done. I'm a teacher myself and I can tell you how frustrating it is to see a teacher slipping or one who isn't doing what they need to and the only people with real power ( the parents) aren't complaining so nothing happens. First speak with the teacher and let her know you are concerned, then go to the principal. Good luck and bless you for having the courage to speak up

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

As a former teacher, thank you for not posting unkind and hurtful things about your son's teacher. It is refreshing to see a parent who wants to approach the problem in a positive way. As a mom, you are only responsible for the education of your son and that has to come first. As many others have said, I would speak with the teacher and the principal or assistant principal and the counselor. Since this teacher has been through so much, maybe she needs some extra help this year. However, if no one says anything, then nothing gets done and no one gets the help they need. Teachers have different children in their class every year with all kinds of problems and sometimes we don't have all the answers. My son is in K this year and he has one of the most challenging children in his class, too. It makes me angry when my son tells me this child is causing problems that creates a difficult learning environment for the rest of the class. While I understand that sometimes children have problems that are somewhat out of their control, that shouldn't have to affect everyone else, but it does. Again, this is something I would speak with all the before mentioned people about. Getting things out in the open is best for everyone. As far as the missed work goes, in the district where I taught, teachers weren't allowed to send home makeup work until the child had returned to school and had been taught whatever was missed. Then the work could be sent home to be completed. I'm sure the homework policy is in your student handbook which you received at the beginning of the school year. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

First of all, it is us as parents that are required to begin the child's education and promote furthering it, then so be it to spend time at home with quotations or anything else.I have raised two sons and neither one spent their entire lives completing everything in school and knowing it all the moment they set foot in the house. I also know that a teacher really would be on him to do his homework if he was out of school that long if she felt that he could not keep up so you should be applauding your son for his intelligence and quick adaptations to what did happen when he returned and thanking goodness you do not have to sit down with hours or extra things too on top of the other stuff. Second in some classes of pandemonium children thrive, because they are relaxed. Since you are not in there all day everyday, you may be experiencing only a few times when the class is busy like that, and it might be right when you are there, perhaps after gym or lunch or something. the most lethargic times are at the beginning when the little ones come in and then it gradually slides upward all day. My suggestion is that you relax mommy, you have a number of years ahead of you and your major job is to hug and love and kiss your child and let the teachers do their job. If it is really upsetting then ask for him to be switched. But in the meantime I think your son is probably doing just fine and will encounter all kinds of teachers and mean kids throughout lifetimes and you can teach him the values you feel are important to grow.

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N.C.

answers from Dallas on

if it was my kid i'd talk to the principal. no need to make a huge deal but let them aware of the situation. it's not like the teacher can really do anything to discipline the kids w/o gettin in trouble. i can't even swat my kids butt in public for acting up so imagine what she's going through.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

This exact thing happened to me years ago with my daughter. I will tell you know that I look back and wish soo many times that I had spoken up. My daughter struggled with fundamental things that the children in other classes had readily learned that year, and it was hard going back to reteach her. She is an average student making A's and B's always has been. That happened in 2nd grade for us. She is in 6th now. You will be so glad you spoke up. I am sure the administration will appreciate your honesty and heart in this matter. Don't feel bad either, the teacher may be struggling so much she needs you to speak up. Good luck!!

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

American kids have dropped from #1 in science and math in the world to #25. I know first-hand why this is happening. I taught in a public high school in a very good school district. I felt sorry for the "good" kids who were trying to pay attention to me, but their learning was being disrupted by out-of-control kids. I got hit in the back of the head with a handful of Skittles. I got a laser pointer on the back of my head while writing on the board. I got a green Crayola marker thrown at the back of my head. Another teacher was warned by a young female student, "Miss, don't leave your drink on your desk anymore. They spit in it when you're back is turned." In my class, I would send kids to the office, only to have them return 5 min. later with a detention slip - - and they didn't care - - they'd just pick up disturbing the class right where they left off. Why don't public schools EXPEL disruptive children anymore? One word: MONEY. The money they get from the state is based on daily counts of students in the building. It is not the teacher's fault. It is the schools' fault for not expelling disruptive children. I realize that EXPELLING should be a last resort; one first step is called SHADOWING. Parents of disruptive kids are asked to come in and shadow their children all day. If they refuse - EXPELLED!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

ok. my daughter was out of school for 5 weeks. during that time, the teacher sent her schoolbooks and homework books every day with a handwritten note as to what we were supposed to do at home so that my daughter doesn't fall behind. she even sent the unnecessary projects they do at school. we missed nothing. now i was not very impressed with the teacher when the school year started as she is very young and this is her 2nd year teaching but this blew off my mind. she not only kept us informed on daily basis, but she emailed and got the students in my daughter's class (kindergarten) to write get well notes and cards. she told me on numerous occasions how she prays and hopes my daughter gets through fine. in my book this teacher deserves a memorial, and i am forever in debt to her. my daughter is back in school. she had missed about 4 tests while she was out of school. she took the tests when she went back (the first day) and aced them all because she was up to date with all the work.
so, i love the idea of having a bouncy joyful teacher but if she is not doing her job and is allowing a few clowns to take over class then i would have a problem with it. this is about your son's education.
you have the right to go to principal and give the names of kids you do NOT want to be in the same class as your son next year. explain why and do not take no for an answer. you also email the teacher or talk face to face and express your concerns. very politely but to the point.
good luck

L.P.

answers from Tyler on

A similar thing happened with my youngest dgtr in first grade, resulting in the entire class practically missing out on the whole year of instruction. We tried to get her out of the class, but like other people posted, so many other parents complained that the principal dug in her heals and wouldn't allow anyone to transfer out. We eventually conferenced with the teacher, principal and the reading recovery instructor (who essentially saved my child's year) about repeating first grade, we concluded that my dgtr should promote to 2nd grade. Doing this, however, put my student in the fore thoughts of the principal when she placed the 2nd grade students, we ended up with a wonderful teacher and a room of very well behaved students. My little trooper made amazing strides that 2nd grade year and is now performing capably at and above grade level in 5th. We did our best to remain vigilant ambassadors for our child, not placing blame or making accusations against the teacher or poorly behaved students, but making sure we were our childs strongest advocate and asking for assistance from the school to be sure her best interests were being considered.

Good luck! I know how desperate you are feeling about missing out on such a vital year, but it sounds like your son has a great set of parents who are keeping him on track and supporting his needs. Good job on the home front and keep up the great work!

J.L.

answers from Dallas on

You need to set up some conferences, starting with the teacher, then the Asst. Principle and Principle. Your only concern should be your son. Despite what the teacher has been through, if she's there working, she needs to on her game. The school year is almost over. I would make sure I had these meetings before the week is done. The office staff is there to assist you with these concerns, use them. When it's time for next years class placement, make sure the Principle knows that you would prefer your child in a more structured classroom. You may just not like this particular teacher's style of teaching.
Good luck

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D.S.

answers from New York on

As an educator myself I can completely sympathize with the teacher as a women. However 1st grade is a very important grade, it is where children are learning to read, spell, important math and language lessons are being introduced. This is going to be very difficult with such disruption and confusion. What about the children who do not have a mom who has time and teach and do homework with their children. First of all homework is supposed to be a review of the day not and lessons learned not something a parent should have to teach their child. I know class size is usually and issue so I suggest you go to the principal and say you have observed certain children out of control and it is depriving your child of the education he deserves and ask for an aide to be placed in the room to help the teacher. This can help the teacher out (so you will not be complaining about her) and it will also have one person to deal with the misbehaving children so she can do her job. I think it will come off better then you complaining about the teacher. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Definitely address your concerns with the teacher first before escalating. That at least lets the teacher know you are concerned without going above her head. Having worked in the corporate world, you would always go to the person first, no the VP or President of the company, with a concern. Same thing in teaching... as a certified 6-12 math teacher and K-12 principal, it is important to still follow that chain of command. Overstepping a teacher without ever mentioning it to him/her first can easily create negative feelings. Give him/her the respect of sharing your concerns with the teacher first before escalating (even if you know you will escalate a week or so later if results are not seen).

It could be the student has such emotional issues he may have be in the process of Special Needs / RTI referral, which takes time and months of documentation. However, if any child is negatively impacting the education of others in the classroom, certain steps can be taken. All students are guaranteed an education in the least restrictive environment.

Although I have only taught grades 6-12 (and junior college) I can assure you a child with discipline issues that does not get help will only get worse. Is this a child that students play with outside of school that a parent could also mention as a friend to the child's parent? That way the parent sees that it is not just "the school is against me" but rather friends are trying to help me as well.

Once everyone lists this child to not be in their class, there will be no class. That is great some districts have that option for parents; in my district, we do not (also exemplary schools). Headcount, staffing, etc only provide so many teachers based on budget even when maxing out the student:teacher ratios.

A parent volunteer or having the discipline child's parent shadow are great ideas. I still clearly remember having a couple parents shadow their middle school children. They were upset taking a vacation day to support their child's education, but it helped in the long-run.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I suggest you speak to the principal. If you present it just like you did here, you don't come across as a person that is without reason and understanding, you are just expressing concerns over your child's school experience and that is the principal's job to deal with it. My son had an out of control child in his class last year. It did get better as the year went on, we prayed for this little boy and my son learned to deal with it, but the class was in control more than out. I spoke to the teacher first and explained that I was worried about my child's safety and his feeling of being safe at school. (This child threw chairs and had outbursts at the teacher). The teacher said she understood but could only refer me to the principal. I spoke to the principal and she explained how the situation was being delt with. In all likelyhood, the principal already knows this class is out of control, but maybe you speak to her/them directly you will get some answers.

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R.D.

answers from Dallas on

I say talk to the teacher, since your there 2 times a week see if you can be a volunteer in the class. Then if things don't get better go to the Asst. Principle and Principle. You can also request your son not be placed with certain kids next year. I've done that with my daughter. Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

My heart goes out to the teacher, and to you and your son. I know that this is a difficult decision to make, given how much you know of the teacher's circumstances, however, you need to act in the best interest of your child. It is obvious that your son is struggling right now. Instead of school being a fun and learning rich environment, he is having trouble concentrating and learning anything. And you're right, this could make things much more difficult for him in the future. There are some things that you can do:

As the parent, you have the right to request that he not be placed in the same class as this other boy next year.

As far as the teacher is concerned, it's time you sat down and had a heart to heart with your son's principal. Explain that you empathize with the teacher, you don't wish to get her into any trouble or anything of the sort, however, you have some concerns. Explain the situation to the principal, including the little rowdy kids that are making things difficult. It may be that this teacher just needs some extra help in class, like a teacher's aide or someone like that, that can help keep the children calm throughout the day.

Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hello

There is a rowdy kid in my son's class as well. However, whenever he begins to disrupt the class (which over the years has been often) the teacher removes him on a temporary basis from the class until he calms down.
Now, some might think, what about that poor kid being removed from class, everyone deserves a chance... but so do the other 20 or so kids. I think the teacher had no other alternative but to have the child removed. Personally, I would talk to the principal and discuss what can be done. Your child does deserve a right to an environment where he/she can focus on their studies. In addition, the teacher is probably over-loaded and may already realize this... so it's also up to her to try and remedy this. I can't imagine that anyone likes to teach in chaos......I will say that when the rowdy kid began to disrupt my son's studying while at school (mind you my son is VERY patient) but couldnt' take it any longer, I spoke directly to the teacher and told her what was going on..... thereafter, the situation was remedied. My child's education comes first and foremost . Whether you send your child to a private school and pay for it or to a public school where your tax dollars pay for it...(and everyone else's) a child deserves a decent place to learn even if it means putting those children who constantly disrupt in a different room. sorry but not all kids are meant to be in big classes.. some do better one on one.. maybe the rowdy kids need more one on one time..

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

You seem to know what to do. Express your concerns with the teacher. My guess is she's aware that the class is rowdy and is doing everything she can. I teach 1st grade and have had some rough years and some awesome years. I of course change a little over time as we all do but the structure of my classroom has always remained the same.

I can relate to the teacher's loss. I was at school on Monday morning after burying my father on Saturday. I switched to a different grade level a week after school started and delivered my 1st child 3 weeks after that. I say this only to say that the teacher is still trying to do her job and I'm pretty sure she would want you to go to her with your concerns 1st. She wouldn't be at school if she didn't think she could do what needed to be done. At our school, the principal always directs the parents back to the teacher 1st anyway.

Additionally, you have the right to go to the principal or counselor and request that your child not be with the other student. You have a valid point that he is dirupting your child's education and actually, you and your child have done your time with this kid and it's time to spread the wealth.

I did want to make a point on the not missing anything comment by the teacher. It is possible that it was a review week and your child has already grasped the content that was being covered. Sometimes, depending on the situation, it is better for a sick child to get better than to have to worry about school. Especially if your child is a high performing student. Additionally, according to the TEKS, mastery isn't expected in 1st grade. Most concepts are just introduced and practiced and the mastery doesn't take place until 3rd grade. Just wanted to mention this.

I do think you should ask your kiddos teacher about your concern with her comment and see what was being covered in class or mention your concern. I'm sure she will be able to ease your worries and/or justify her comment.

I hope this helps. You seem like an awesome parent to work with. Good Luck.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

When my grandson, who was living with me at the time, was in second grade he was bringing home 2-3 hours of homework every other day. Poor kid, he was busy with gymnastics, soccer, and outdoor activities that I think are important for the physical development of our children today. He would come home from school, have a snack, crack open a book for half an hour, get ready to go to one activity or the other and then get home a couple of hours later, eat dinner, bathe, and get calmed down for bed. Sometimes he wouldn't get half his homework done. He would occasionaly stay up til 11 pm just trying to get it done. They didn't even cover half the stuff my grandson was doing, it was my job to teach it to him. My friend's 8 yr. old son (2nd grade) goes to a different public school and his teacher gives them homework every day, his mom has to spend hours every evening going over stuff his teacher assigned him and has never been over with the class either.

So, I guess my thoughts are that teachers across the board give homework and it's the parents job to sit down with their kids and help them do it. They might have never been told what to do.

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J.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Please don't put your teacher's "feelings" before your son's education. You are in a business relationship with the school and the teacher is not performing. You cannot make it personal. You are your child's advocate and your allegience is to NOBODY else but him. You should start by talking to the teacher. Tell her that you appreciate her situation but you will not be able to tolerate the classroom environment that she has. Give her a week to make some changes and then put it in writing to the principal. I would also have some other parents in the class do this as well. At the end of the letter request a meeting with the principal about this. If nothing is resolved you should go to the district level. Do not stop until something is done. Your son's education as well as his attitude about school is dependent on this.

Also-I would suggest the teacher get some help in the classroom. Our teachers all have student teachers from local colleges who are a great resouce for them. If you can't do this then maybe put together a network of parents to go in and help.

If I were you I would ABSOLUTELY make sure my son is not in with the troublemaker again. Talk to your guidance counselor about this, It is your right to do this so please don't hesitate.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

As some of the other posters have said, thank you for not "beating up" on the teacher, who might not be doing the best possible job because of a variety of circumstances. Even as a teacher, I think that you should make an appointment to speak to the principal (even before you talk to the teacher) so that you can phrase your concerns just as you did here. I think it would be too hard to do this without making the teacher defensive, and that would be hard on everyone (and not productive). I won't repeat what everyone has said below, but I HIGHLY recommend that you bring in specific examples of the behavior exhibited by the problem child in your son's class. In all honesty, it might be too late in the year to do anything productive about your son's relationship with his teacher, but by making a "federal case" out of how this other kid is impacting your son's learning environment, you might be able to keep him out of subsequent classes. Pick your battles, you know? And, as a teacher, while I do feel bad for that little boy, sometimes there are one or two kids who can really ruin a classroom environment for all the kids, even when the teacher is on top of his/her game.

The only other "silver lining" is that if other parents are also complaining, that means that there will likely need to be some make up work next year, and if you're in a reasonably small school, the 2nd grade teacher can help to get all the kids back on track. Yes, there would be some loss in this year, which stinks, but I don't think anyone's ever been able to say "I would have gotten into Harvard if only my 1st grade teacher was better!" He still has lots of time to "catch up." Good luck!

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