Woud You Take Your Child Back If This Happened?????/

No, I wouldn't take her back. This may have just been an accident, but I wouldn't take any chances.

I would NOT take my daughter back! My mother has been in the child care business for over 25 years, and that kind of teacher behavior is just not acceptable...no matter what! What MDO program was this, so the rest of us moms can be aware?

NO!!! Do not take Ally back there. I would also file a complaint on Miss Tammy as well. You do not stand up a child by pulling her up by her hands and over anyone or anything. If Ally has no desire to go back, do not push her. I would find a different Mother's Day Out or daycare to take Ally to.

NOPE! Even if it really was an accident. I would think your daughter would be truly afraid of returning. I would find another program to continue giving her a soical outlet.

Absolutely not. Buying teddy bears & paying a doctor bill doesnt hide the fact that she hurt your child, & tried to cover it up or blame your child as being 'defiant'. That doesn't give anybody the right to hurt a 2 year old like that. I think it would be in your daughters best interest to find another MDO. Good luck!!!!

No, I would never take my child back there!!! Especially how your child did not want to tell you first what had happened. It would make me wonder what that teacher said to my child to make them that scared.

Only if Tammy is fired, would I recommend taking your daughter back to that Mother's Day Out. Your daughter trusts you and told you what happen, if you take her back she will think that you don't want to protect her and it could lead to your daughter never trusting you again.

Keep your child at home and file a report against the Mother's Day Out.

Absolutely not! Your daughter has been hurt and traumatized at that place. To take her back would send her a clear message that you value your private time away from her more than her safety. I have been a Nanny and a pre-school aide for many years as well as a mom. I can not imagine how a child's elbow could become dislocated without some pretty excessive force being used. I have never seen or heard anything like that. I would file charges, personally. If not with the police then with the higher ups where she works. It sounds like other people's children may be at risk because of Miss Tammy. It sounds to me like Miss Tammy needs some anger control classes. It is not okay that she hurt your child, no matter how "defiant" she may or may not have been. Miss Tammy very well may hurt other children for their percieved defiance if not taught better ways to discipline children. Your daughter looks to her parents to keep her safe. Right now she has to be doubting that you can do that effectively. I know this wasn't your fault but look at it from her point of view. If counseling is an option, it would likely benefit her greatly.
If you can do nothing else to help her through this, at the very least, please don't send her back. Obviously, it is not a safe place for children. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I don't mean it to. But honestly, I don't understand why you are even questioning sending her back to somewhere she was abused and is rightfully terrified of.
Best Wishes,
E.

I am in no way an "overly protective" mother; they actually kinda get on my nerves at parades and sporting events. But in answer to this question, about your situation, HELL NO. Absolutely not. She would never see that specific place again. And to tell the truth, my husband would probably send me to Louisiana for a week or so to get away til I calmed down, because I swear I would rip that teacher's arm out of socket myself.
Wait a couple weeks, then send her to a different place. A church, maybe...a place with more than 1 teacher all the time. Shop the place: say you're thinking of placing your child there, and sit and watch how they interact a few minutes before taking your child there. And because she's had a bad experience, I would do something very short first: leave, go get a sandwich and eat a little lunch, then come back (like 20 minutes) and see how it goes. The next time, be gone 45 minutes or so.
Also, have a talk with her about how you are on her side, you love her, and you want to know when things happen that are not nice. Tell her to always tell you and not be afraid. On the other hand, your daughter isn't "permanently damaged" so don't feel bad-I was in a daycare when I was 2 or 3 and they took me out because I had handprints and bruises on my body, especially my arms. I don't remember it, but I've been told about it. I don't have any feelings or memories that are negative, except that she didn't want me putting my feet on the TV stand. But really encourage your daughter to tell you stuff, and that she's safe about doing so.

I think I would say NO-I would not take her back. Surely, there is another MDO program in the area. Something doesn't seem right. The teachers in MDO programs (especially those affiliated w/a church) are there to love on the children. You should be able to drop your child off and not worry about her mental or physical well-being. For the teacher not to be forthright about your daughter's arm at first would send a clear message to me. Maybe Ms. Tammy was having a bad day or whatever, but in my opinion that DOES NOT excuse using that much force to move a child. I WOULD really find another program instead of go back and hope that nothing else happens.

I hope that your daughter's arm is feeling better.

I would probably not take my child back. Especially if her elbow was popped out. I would be worried if something worse could happen. That's just my thought though. I would call around to pediatricians and see if they would give you their opinion on the situation. If an elbow could be pulled out without excessive jerking. I would definitely do some research on the injury before being comfortable with taking her back. I would also request possibly a different teacher if possible or ask that the teacher be watched carefully or checked in on without notice. Just my thoughts.

My initial response was a very passionate no. I see some of the arguments for a yes. I still lean towards a no, but I still feel very protective of my 12 week old.

Regardless of your decision, discuss it with your daughter. I know she's only 2 but she needs to know that you care about her safety and feelings. Let her know what helped you make your final decision. If your faith guides you in your decision, and I'm guessing you plan to share your faith with her, then that's important for her to know.

Good luck.

If you have to ask whether or not you should take her back and your not 100% confident in taking her there, then absolutely NO!! You dont want your daughter to loose faith in the fact that you will always protect her & listen to her either!

Wow! This one certainly generated interest! My response? Absolutely not would I take my child back there (he's 2 also)! Not only because an adult who was supposed to be caring for her hurt her, but because she exhibited what sounds like trust issues with you by not letting you near her after you picked her up. If you take her back, first, she'll be afraid and, second, might she harbor ill feelings toward you for taking her to the place that she was hurt? She's so young and mommy and daddy are supposed to kiss everything and make it better, not put her back in a place where the hurt happened. Miss Tammy did what was right by apologizing and paying for doctor bills (she was covering her hiney), but that doesn't erase her inexplicable manner with your little girl. There are other places to take your daughter for a day so you can have your time.

Are you kidding me? No way should you take your child back. In fact, you should be notifying Child Care Licensing.

No. Freaking. WAY.

She hurt your child and labeled her as defiant which shows clearly that she has ZERO patience or tolerance for children with high spirits.

I would never take my child there again, AND I would tell everyone I knew about the incident.

Absolutely not. If you take her back then she may not feel like telling you the next time because she will feel you will just take her right back. Second, the lady just said she was defiant and didn't admit to pulling her. You had to call her on more than 1 occassion to find out the truth; that in itself is deceit. What else is going on at that place? That is a traumatic event for a 2 year old. I would look for another location, maybe one at a church or school and watch and listen to your child each day. Ask her how was the day and what did she do. You don't want to be the Mom that says I shouldn't have taken her back.

wow, i would say don't take her back and frankly being a teacher myself, that woman does not need to be around kids. don't take her back and i would see about getting her taken out of that class.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is our jobs to protect our children. you can't take chances with them. plus you daughter doesn't want to go, so its important that you listen to her. i think that you responded good to the problem at hand. you sound like a really good mother.

every single one of us can understand your concern. i would most absolutely report it to whomever is in charge there, and make sure something gets done about it. hopefully if you decide to take your child back, she won't be there anymore. times are hard and good childcare is tough to find, but if you can avoid this place do it. that person was out of line, and even if it was a mistake, why didn't she let you know she did that when she took the time to notify you of your little one's "defiance"? sounds like she is covering her back by going over and giving your little girl a teddy bear. i bet ally expressed how much her arm her when it was yanked out of the socket... what was this lady's reaction then??? did she feel bad and console her?
maybe it doesn't take a lot of strength to pull her arm out of the socket, but why would she "pick her up by her hands and pull her over a couple of boys" in the first place? is that the way for a childcare worker to handle children? what happened to the boys when she pulled her over them? did they get hurt too?
sounds fishy to me. this lady wasn't upfront about the way she handled herself with you, she just made darn sure to let you know about ally's defiance. the more i think about it the more i get upset.

UPDATE:
After reading many responses, I would have to say that so many of these women are assuming the worst! I do not want to change my opinion that I do not think I would take my child back, but my decision was based on the fact that it is an injury that is very common and me being unable to necessarily trust someone who is close to me. So I would lean towards my childs safety, but by no means do I think I would go out for vengeance and get her fired. I would look into it to see if there are further complaints and remove my child, BUT I wouldn't assume the worst unless it is confirmed. But that is just me. I have picked up children out of fun by their arms to twirl them, or if they held their arms out and I couldn't reach their bodies to pick them up. Luckily, nothing has happened, but I did by no means not do that with the intent of doing harm. And who's to say she did this when she did lose her temper? Were you actually there? The one thing I would give concern to is that she may have lied, or thought it was a little incident and didn't think about it until you mentioned her discomfort. PLEASE do be vengeful, just careful and thorough.

My opinion... And it is what it is, an opinion. I have known several people who have done slight things to pull a childs elbow out of socket. One of my friends little girls actually had just had a small tumble and it happened. she was 18 months, so you know the tumble was not that big. So, in regards to the doctor saying it had to be jerked pretty hard isn't necessarily true. And I also work for an orthopedic doctor. HOWEVER, unless you know "Miss Tammy" well on a personal level, I do not know if I would take her back under her supervision IF your daughter does not want to go. I bet she is apologetic and I am sure it was not meant to harm her, but I don't know if I would personally do it myself. Although, I see no harm if you did it under precaution. Also, keep in mind, liability issues, I would think she would HAVE to pay the bill.... and the niceties might be a little to cover herself. Just a thought. Either way, I would weigh what the benefits she did gain from the program as well as you against what has happened and your trust. I am sure either way, as her mother, you will make the right decision.

The only answer to that question is NO!!!!!!!!!!!! try another Mothers Day Out.

Not only would I not take my child back, I would report the Mother's Day Out program to the state to investigate -http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Contact_Us/report_abuse.asp. It sounds to me like excessive force was used with your daughter. I'm not a doctor, but if joint sockets were so easily pulled out of joint, wouldn't ALL of our kids have experienced one at some time or another??? I know I've pulled my son up from the floor by his arm (tantrum, fallen, etc.) and nothing came dislocated!

If you want to write the elbow off as an accident, think about the effect Miss. Tammy will have on your daughter's opinion of herself...always telling her she's "bad." Maybe your daughter is defiant (I don't know), but Miss. Tammy should be encouraging her to "make good choices" and using MUCH SOFTER language since she's so young. Your daughter probably doesn't know what "defiant" means, but she sure knows how Miss. Tammy made her feel!

I, myself have pulled my daughters elbow out of socket..not once, but twice!! The first time was when I was swinging her around by her arms and her elbow popped out of place. The second, when I was holding her arm and trying to put an arm floaty on her so she could swim. As a mom, it was the most scary thing to know that I had inflicted pain on my own child. In your instance, there is no excuse for a teacher to be that rough with a child. You need to check to see if Ms. Tammy has had any other complaints on her. This matter shoudl be reported to the director of the school as well as child protective services. I know it sounds harsh, and very well may have been an accident, but obviously Ms. Tammy lied to you in the beginning (because she knew she did something wrong) and can't seem to control her temper. By you stepping up and making it known that Ms. Tammy's behavior is not acceptable, you may save another child and parent the trauma of going through what you guys have been through. Just food for thought. Let us know how things turn out ok!! And by the way, please don't take your child back. Even if just for the sake of Ally.

I would not take my child back. What is more upsetting is that when you called Miss Tammy the first time, she stated that nothing had happened. Then, with persistance from you, she finally admitted the truth. I know how I would react - furiously! I would talk to the Director of the program and probably report it to the State. The bottom line is you have a responsiblity to your daughter. You are her hero, her protector. Once Ally feels like socializing again, I would check out another program in the area. I would also make sure that any new program knows what happened so they can take extra precautions to make her feel safe.

Best of luck with you decision.
A.

Actually, a child her age can have their elbow pulled out of socket very easily. My sister-in-law did it once when she was lifting her son into the bed with her one morning to snuggle and it just popped out. Her pediatrician said that it's quite common for kids that age.

But, even with that said, the fact that the elbow popped out and the teacher said nothing to you about it (and trust me, she would have known something had happened when it popped) is enough to not only make me want to take the child out of school, but to also file a formal complaint about that MDO program. Maybe your city's code enforcement or whatever department it is that licenses programs like this one? Or, if it's at a church facility, complain to the minister/administration so that they are aware of it.

I would have to say I would not take my daughter back. That is rediculous and no child should be picked up by their arms anyway especially at school. It sounds like she would be too afraid to go back to that school anyway. I would wait another year and try another school. Or if you do go back ask for a different teacher. I know socializing your child is important and excellent time for you to get things done but you have to think about your child's safety first and how this may affect her schooling years. Just my 2 cents. I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. Good luck w/your decision.

I think the incident on it's own might be able to be overlooked as an accident, but it sounds like you are also concerned about this teacher's attitude toward your daughter. I would feel uncomfortable with anyone who was consistently telling me that my 2 yr old was defiant. 2 yr olds are supposed to be defiant, they are growing and learning and testing boundaries and any one who doesn't have the patience and knowledge to deal with this probably shouldn't be working with young children.
I always believe the a mother's instinct is always right. If you have doubts you should listen to your heart. You know your daughter and what is best for her and if you have to talk yourself into taking her back there is probably a good reason for you not to.

There is no way in hell I would take my child back anywhere if that happened. Can you imagine how she would feel towards you if you made her go back where something like that took place. The "teacher's" proabably just trying to be nice and apologetic in order to stay out of court. Your poor daughter.

I am horrified at your story! I pray that Ally heals, and that she will be able to put this behind her...maybe even forget it. I would NEVER take her back there again, and would cut off any contact with Ms. Tammy.

No. I would not take her back, if only because she obviously is uncomfortable there. You are building trust with your daughter that will have implications well into her teen years. Trust me, you want her to know that no matter what she can depend on you to protect her and take her seriously. I would have a talk with her about her teacher also so she knows what is acceptable and what is not. I know that's hard because she's so young, but you can try at least.

Also, I would DEFINITELY report it. I have 2 teenagers and our family has always played very rough with each other. We never dislocated anything, so I have a hard time believing the teacher. I know I have heard people say it was easy to do, but I just don't believe it. If you report it and it is a great program with no other problems, no harm is done. But you have to at least try, to keep this from happening to another child.

Good luck! My only advice is to ALWAYS trust your gut with your children. Always.

Absolutely not!!! I would talk to the director and insist the teacher be written up. It sounds like the teacher, instead of helping your daughter adjust to the new environment, she took her anger out on her. That is unacceptable! If you but your daughter back under her care, your daughter may never adjust to "school". If that is the school you really want to take her too then insist she be in another class.

They call that dislocation "Nurse Maids Elbow" for that exact reason. The nurse maid would pull the child by the arm and hurt them. My son was running while holding hands with another boy and fell down. It dislocated his elbow too. So if three year olds are strong enough to do that, than adults can do it much easier.

I agree with the other mothers--no, I would not take her back to that MDO, and I would report it! My son goes to MDO at Trinity United Methodist Church on Park Row at Norwood. The program came VERY highly-recommended to me by many people, and I have been ecstatic with the experience he has had so far. The teachers are absolutely WONDERFUL!!! I don't know if they take new kids mid-semester, but I'm sure they do mid-school year. BTW, we don't go to church there, but we are likely to start!

When my son was about 3, his sister pulled his elbow out of socket. He was standing up next to her and she was sitting down (she was 5) and she wanted him to sit, so she yanked his arm. It hurt, I didn't think much of it, I layed him down for his nap and it still hurt when he woke up. So, I took him to the Dr. The Dr. said it was "nurse maid elbow" a phrase coined by a child being pulled along by their nurse. In our case, my daughter didn't yank it terribly hard, but just the right way. I think if you have a general good feeling about the program, I'd let it go. Imagine if you were having problems with your daughter and pulled her in the same manner described (grabbed her hands and lifted her over some other kid to get her out of whatever the situation was). You wouldn't feel like you had done anything wrong. However, if you are unsure because of this and other things, I wouldn't take her back. You want your children to know you only leave them in a safe place. What about asking for a different teacher?

I agree with the other ladies. I would remove her from THAT Mother's Day Out and also have it reported.

I don't know where you live, but I'm in Irving. I have my son enrolled in a Mother's Day Out held at a Methodist Church. They are really great and I felt comfterble leaving him on the first day.

Try and find a church, there are several that offer Mother Day Out programs. Even though the teacher was apologetic, that is no excuse and what if your daughter acts up even worse when she's there? If you leave her there with that teacher, than you're risking it happening again.

Hi D.,

Sorry to hear what has happened. I would not take my daughter back to that MDO. The teacher should have been upfront with you at the time you picked up your child. I have concerns that she did not tell you that at the time. Definitely let the day care know what has happened.

If you are asking if you should take her back to a MDO program but not that one, that I would do. I would get recommendations from other people and go see the school and walk through their facility at different times during the day before putting my child in another school. I would take my child with me to view to see how she reacts.

I don't know where you live but if it is near the Arlington area, Fielder Road Early Childhood Program is great! I would highly recommend them.

Good luck.

J.

I wouldn't go back there. You want to have your child in a environment that is friendly and safe. Besides I'm sure you are paying a tuition for this service.

Also, I feel as if she was to go back, Ms. Tammy would definite not care to be around your daughter. She would show some kind of resentment, but not in front of you. Who knows, she may even request to be removed from your daughter surroundings and this would be a slap in the face.

Find another center.

Please tell me that you have reported this woman??? I cannot believe that this happened and I hope that she never has the opportunity to do this to another child...your poor little girl. I would never take her back period but I would also be finding out if Ms. Tammy still works at this school and if so, I would be telling EVERY parent in that class-tell me she doesn't still have her job. I am just so angry for you,this is totally unacceptable! I pray that your daughter heals, both physically and emotionally, and without much memory of this traumatic event.

Hi D.,
I'm going to sound a little different here, I have 2 adult children and a 3 year old at home now. I worked in day care for 7 years off and on after high school. First let me say, many parents have made the same mistake (lifting incorrectly, its not always the force, sometimes its the angle. if she was "in a pile of kids" and the teacher was trying to help her out there was force from below also) and accidently injured thier own children. Second kids in day care, wrestle, and fall over each other all the time. That being said, I woudld not necassarly take her back,if I did take her back, i would watch the situation very carefully. If she is that frightened I would probably find another MDO. But lets not crucify this teacher for what likely was an honest mistake. I'm sure you have already spoken with the director and she is monitering the situation very closely. The fact that she is trying to make it right does mean that she realizes that she made a mistake,is truly sorry and probably feels horrible, not necissarly that she is trying to protect herself. For all the parents, teachers etc who have never made a mistake, back off, for those who have and stepped up to the plate to admit it and tried to make it right, God Bless You. And for the record I have not injured a child but have seen families and careers ruined because someone was injured accidently and it was blown way out of proportion.

NO WAY! Mother's Day Out is overrated and a dime a dozen. I'm sure there are several you could choose from to send your daughter. listen to your little girl. she doesn't want to go back.

also, it sounds like the teacher has labeled her as a trouble-maker...thus, treating her differently from now on.

seriously!?!?! OF COURSE NOT!

No uhm no and no! Too many good ones out there! I agree you have to pull pretty hard to pull an elbow out of socket. And anyway who pulls a small kid by their arms - 2 year olds should be picked up to avoid this! Go with your gut! Sorry I was just a little blown away by this - I work at my church as a Sunday school teacher for preschoolers and have never pulled a child by their arm for fear of hurting them! And would not - that was a reaction of frustration by the teacher and has no place in a Mom's Day out program!

No way do not take her back!!! I would also contact Child Protective Services, and if that is not the right agency they can tell you who is to report the incedent. This may not be the first time it has happened and you need to report it so they can have a record. You are not suposed to lift a child up except under the armpits because it is so easy to dislocate there elbows!!

I don't recall Hell freezing over. I would call the State to report her and the daycare.

I have a 5 year old and an 18 month old. I worked in daycare with the older 2 year to 3yr. olds while in college to become a teacher.

I would under NO circumstances take my child back to that mother's day out program. I would have a discussion with the director also and request that any time your dd has missed since the incident plus any supply fees be prorated and have that money returned to you. Be sure to tell her what the doctor said about your daughter having to have been jerked pretty hard to have her elbow dislocated. Poor baby!!!

I have heard that a young child's elbow can be accidentally dislocated this way.

Ms. Tammy is probably not a horrible person. Maybe she is just stressed out, but something has to give her a wake up call to get herself back under control. Other children may be at risk.

Your daughter may bounce back quickly, but be aware she may need some extra tlc when it comes to being around other caregivers for a while. I severly doubt it will be a long-term emotional issue though, as long as she is no longer exposed to Ms. TAmmy.

I am so sorry this has happened.

Please listen to what your heart tells you. You are a mommy and know what is best for your little one!

Good luck.

I would think most people would say absolutely no way would I ever take her back and as a mom I am tending that way. The only thing that would give me pause would be that you say you have overcome challenges with faith. Ms Tammy could use some of your faith right now. So, do you have enough to share with Ms Tammy now? Do you think you could show some faith in her and have some forgiveness for her? If you have ANY doubt that it might happen again to your daughter or any others don't go back, but if you are looking for healing in a Spiritial realm for you, your daughter, and Ms Tammy then try again and let God be your guide. It could be healing for all envolved in this trauma. Test it out on your little girl and take her feelings in to account. Keep any negative or unforgiving words out of her ear shot and make one try for Peace.
B.

Hi D.!

I am so sorry this had to happen to Ally. I am a mother of a three year old and if this happened to my daughter I would be devastated. Personally, I would not have my daughter to return. If your daughter is anything like mine, there is some truth to her story. If she said Ms. Tammy hurt her arm; if Ms. Tammy didn't, then it sounds like someone did. When you asked Ms. Tammy if anything happened she never once said anything about an arm issue. I'm an educator. I've heard and seen things happen like this a million times. My question is, when you called her teacher the first time and mentioned that Ally was complaning about her arm hurting, why didn't her teacher discuss what took place with Ally's arm/hands at that time. Instead she waited until the second phone call to do so. Something just doesn't sound right. Again, to answer your question, No I would not have my daughter to return, especially if she doesn't have a desire to.

Hi Deanna,
NO!!!! I would not take any of my kids back to a place like that. I work for a mothers day out and let me tell you if I had done any thing like that I would have been fired. Were they licensed by the state? If they are I would fill a complaint with them as soon as you can. If this happen to you than it could happen to someone elses child.

Are you kidding? Call the police, call CPS, call the Better Business Bureau and call every parent in that program.

I'm very surprised the doctor didn't call CPS (they may have, they may not believe YOUR story). If they didn't call CPS, get a new doctor, too.

I'm so very sorry that happened to your baby, I hope she recovers completely and quickly.

I have read that the elbow can come out of the socket pretty easily, but I would not hesitate to take my child out immediatly and enroll her quickly in another place (I wouldn't want her to assume leaving that place meant she never had to go to school again or have any fears of schools...) Whether something happened or not you probably won't ever know- but your daughter trusts you to keep her safe and by putting her back in that situation you are putting her at risk (in her eyes if not for real), she could resent you and alot of trust will be gone.

I'm kinda with Cathleen on calling everyone you can think of to make sure this woman is held accountable. I can't imagine having the patience myself to work with children all day, which is why I don't do it. On the other hand..... I pulled my sons elbow out of place once, too, and it didn't take much -- I was holding his hand while he was learning to walk. He fell and pulled his feet up hanging there for a second by his arm, and that was all it took. AND, my sister worked in a day care for a while once and pulled a kids arm "out" (they don't really have elbow sockets at this age, so really it's just that the tendon gets stuck on the wrong side of the bone; it's not really dislocated or anything; but still painful I know; I was horrified that I did this to my son). Anyway my sister wasn't yanking on him or even angry and thankfully the mom was understanding because it had happened several times before (once it happens once, it's easier for it to happen again). So it IS possible for this to be an accident; and really I say all this to hopefully make you feel better that maybe she wasn't really yanked around... BUT, I would definitely NOT take her back there. Granted this woman would probably be extra careful since she got caught, but how long would that last? Thank goodness your little girl is big enough to talk and tell you what happened! Good luck and I'm so sorry for you and your daughter -- I know it was (and is) traumatic!

Wow you have had lots of responses, and mine will be the same. It is a NO! Some Mother's Day out programs are not under full state or city regulations due to it is not a full-time program---ie: training hours for teacher, etc.so you should def report this to the Director and the affliate of the program. Ask questions...Church possibly Education Director,Pastor, etc. If you are fighting this then your reaction is correct look around for another program. At the least the director could have a teacher meeting/training and advise of the delicate arms of little one's etc. so it does accidently happen again.
Best of luck I know it is so hard being a Mom and wanting the best for your kids at all times!

My opinion is no...heck no. Under no circumstances would I take my 2 year old daughter back. And I have a two year old daughter...so I'm not just saying that. I would never in a million years, take her back. I work in a hospital and I've asked around and it is my understanding that yes, this can happen easily-the dislocation of an elbow joint, however, usually it doesn't. The point is that joints don't just pop out of socket with the slightest force...it takes a significant amount of force to dislocate a joint. Even in a small child. If Ms Tammy lifted her by her hands that would mean that Ally's weight (give or take 30 lbs...my daughter is 34 lbs) supplied the counter force to apply pressure to that joint, thus causing the joint to dislocate. So whether Ms Tammy "meant" to do that or not, she did it. Her incorrect lifting caused your daughter harm...plain and simple. Would I take my child back to that environment...No.
I do believe in forgiveness. So I would forgive her and I would tell her that I forgive her. But I would also tell her that I cannot put my child in her care, because it's in the best interest for Ally's comfort.
Those are my two cents. Pray about it and it will work out fine... God bless you and your sweet baby girl.

NO! I have my own horror stories about child care and for months I ignored them. My child (at 6 months old) was laid in bleach water that had spilled on the changing table. An accident, yes, but then they left him in bleach water soaked clothes for 3 hours before we picked him up. I reported it to CPS licensing and they did a report- but we continued to take him there unitl a month ago. He is almost 2 now and the last 2 weeks he was at daycare- he would sit in the corner by himself, cry and scream when we dropped him off, and got a severe case of pink eye.

Listen to your gut and your child. If her behavior is unusual- listen to it. Take her to another Mother's Day out- research them, ask here for referrals. My son has been developmentally delayed, but since moving him to another facility- he LOVES IT. He laughs and plays, and is thriving.

Also, PLEASE report this to CPS. If parents don't report "accidents" no one else will know not to take their child there. Next time it could be even more serious. Any incident that requires medical attention is mandated that the facility report, but many do not.

As for if she had to jerk her hard to pull her elbow out-of-socket- she shouldn't have pulled your child by one arm to begin with- it is common knowledge that kids arm are meant to be pulled on like that (when I was younger a baby sitter pulled my brother by one arm and pulled his shoulder out of socket) any teacher should know better.

OK, this is EXTREMELY important for you to hear as a voice of reason and not out of immediate emotional defensiveness. I won't give my opinion at all about whether you should take her back or not, and it will be up to you to decide whether this place is a good match for your daughter or not. What I am speaking to is the actual injury that occurred, because everyone has been freaking out, and the injury is NOT nearly as bad as it sounds. I am a physical therapist and I work with children, and I have two children of my own. In therapy I dislocated a patient's arm because I was holding his hand and he lifted his legs and it dislocated. My 3 year old has had this injury 3 different times, once done by my husband, once at school, and once playing with a sitter. It takes no force at all for this to occur, it's a matter of the direction the pull occurs. A child's bones and ligaments are still very soft, so the joint in the elbow is very susceptible to this type of dislocation. In 2 of the cases with my son, my husband and the other time his teacher at Mothers day out, were simply holding his hand/arm to walk him to another spot. He didn't want to go and did the "dead drop", where he collapsed his feet and tried to sit down. Elbow dislocation. The third time, he was playing with a babysitter who was holding his hands and swinging him around in circles (like flying) and his elbow dislocated. It does not take much to cause it to happen and it is very easy to reset with no permanent damage. I reset my sons arm each time, and I learned how to do it from reading a textbook of my husbands (who is a physician assistant). I just want you and all others who read this to know that this teacher could be the sweetest most caring teacher who was simply trying to move your daughter out of the way by her arms, and voila, injury occured. I don't know if this is the case, maybe she's not the sweetest teacher in the world, that's for you to judge, but I just want you to know that depending on the child this injury can happen very easily. "Joint dislocation" sounds very scary, and I feel that many moms are giving you an emotional response, as any good mother bear would, but I needed to set the record straight on how easily this can actually happen.

Are you kidding - no I wouldn't take my child back to the same Mothers day out place. I can come up with a million reasons not to - but the only one that counts is......why would you when your child has been hurt. I'm sure that teacher is sorry now - BECAUSE AN ADULT KNOWS ABOUT IT.

NO WAY would I take my child back that that establishment. Not only would I not take her back...I would file a report with the Child Protective Services. This teacher has no business being around children if this it the way she handles a chilod who is 'being defiant'.... all children are defiant at some time and if she is going to be doing child care in any form she needs to learn how to handle this in a better way. Never Never do you put a child up by their hands and drag them over other children! My suggestion is to find another Mother's Day Out program and let them know from day one wy you are switching to there program. Your child and you are entiled to the socialization and free time these programs provide BUT you have to be comfortable in knowing that your child is being given the proper care while she is there. Good luck to both of you.
K.

not only would my daughter not go back but i would report this incident ASAP!

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Contact_Us/Inquiries_and_Comp...

good luck.

I definately would report her and she is being nice because she knows the consequences. I am surprised your dr. didn't take a report. Do not take your daughter back there and make a report before it happens again. I could not live with myself if I didn't make the report. You can go online and do it I do believe.

I agree you should at the least report her to the director what if this happens again or worse. She lost her patience, she can't do that she needs to know her limits. What if it happens to another child. I can't believe that happened and that she tried to cover it up. She thought your daughter wouldn't tell you about it. How many other children might this have happened to and they didn't tell their parents. That is awful. I hope she can get over the emotional part of this situation, she has years of school and it would be said if she couldn't enjoy it b/c of this situation.

No, I wouldn't take my child back to that preschool. I would consider seriously persuing the situation to have the teacher be accountable for what happened. I am a teacher and it's obvious that she got her 'buttons pushed' by the situation. To use that amount of force with a young child shows she was not in control of her emotions or the situation. It's likely not the only time it has happened. At the very least, I would meet with the director of the preschool if I were you. This teacher shouldn't be working with young children (in my opinion).

D. -

Do not hesitate to do the right thing in this case. I know that as women, we don't want to be "mean" and we tend to want to forgive. But, this woman is a danger to children. Just think about it objectively. #1) She lost her temper #2) She physically touched a child while she was not in control of her temper and #3) (And most concerning of all) She LIED about whether she had touched your child when asked.

Your daughter must have cried or screamed when her elbow was jerked out of the socket. Do you honestly believe that the teacher did not know that "something" had happened, when you called to specifically ask her about it? She was covering up for herself by lying. Now she supposedly feels terrible and is paying for the bills and trying to "make things right".... What is really happening is that she is scared for herself and trying to keep you from reporting her to the proper authorities.

Even if your child was acting like a complete monster that particular day, any person who is entrusted with the care of children should be mature enough to deal with it the proper way, or to know enough to walk away while angry. (Don't you have to do that sometimes with your own child?)

Please don't make excuses for her in your mind. Don't concern yourself with whether or not this was an isolated incident. Don't worry about what the final outcome will be for this woman. The facts are, She seriously hurt a child. Enough to require medical attention. Then, she lied to cover it up.

First, contact Child Protective Services and let them know what happened. Then, talk to the Director of the School. It's unfortunate that this happened, but it's your duty to do what you can to make sure that it doesn't happen to another child.

As for your orignal question.... I would NEVER take my child back to the Mother's Day Out, unless this woman is no longer working there. If the MDO does not terminate her, I would also report the program to the Better Business Bureau.

Please don't feel guilty about taking these steps. You are doing what you can to protect other children. (How would you feel, if you found out that she had hurt a child in the past and the parent did nothing and now she was able to hurt your child!) This woman may not be a horrible person at all, but she definitely needs to chose another line of work that does not involve caring for children.

ABSOLUTELY NOT! If you value your child then listen to her intuition instead of worrying about whether you should take your daughter back when you need personal time. You had your personal time before she was born, now its about her. And as for miss tammy you should file a complaint with the organization she works with and don't stop until she is removed from their staff! You mentioned that your daughter usually gets back into the swing of things quickly then trust her and know that something is truly wrong

NO!! Do not take your child back. Would you want to go back to a place where something painful happened? And, the teacher was not honest with you the first time she was questioned.
Find another Mother's Day Out program and screen the teacher well. I once took my son to a daycare that seemed "ok" but the teachers didn't appear to be happy. Well, one day I arrived early to get my son and what I heard sent chills up my spine. There was a line of boys outside the director's office (a male)waiting to be repremanded for some wrong-doing. Inside the office I heard a boy getting a spanking, screaming his head off. I grabbed my son and ran out of that place, leaving behind all of his possesions....backpack, blanket, etc. If we don't protect our children, who will???

NOOOO WAYY!! I am curious as to which Day Care Center you are in?? I had a bad experience at a Day Care Center in Arlington - it wasnt a big one - but a smaller individually owned one - and there was a Tammy working there - she didnt touch my little girl, but my little girl said she would scream at her for crying because she missed me. I took her right out of that place. I definitely wouldnt take my daughter back after being yanked and its not like the teacher was up front with you when you first asked her - clearly she knew what she did was wrong because she wasnt willing to tell you the whole story until you had Dr's proof. I say No Way! Stuff like that sticks with kids their whole lives. I would definitely report the place too - protect other Moms from having their kids treated the same way.
Good Luck and hope your little girl is okay!!

D.,
I'll simply add to what so many others have already said. Do not take your daughter back to that program. Miss Tammy knows that she acted unacceptably or she would not be so willing to pay the doctor bill, bring gifts, etc. I'm not saying that she meant to hurt Ally or would do so again. However, she could face criminal charges if you wanted to go that route. My guess is that she knows this.
Please make sure the directors of this program are given all details. This could have happened before and might happen again to another child.
Keep your daughter at home for a while as it is going to take her some time to recover fromt this experience. Trust me, they don't forget.
Good luck!

I would never take my child back to that same place again. I would probably have filed charges against that teacher and let the Mothers Day Out director know, what had happend and how the teacher had denied it at first. As far as taking your daughter to a different Mothers Day Out, I would wait a while, cause I'm sure that your daughter is probably afraid of going, eventhough you tell her that it's a new place. I sure hope your daughter's elbow is getting better. Poor little girl.

I would take her out of THAT particular Mother's Day out. I'm sorry it happened to your daughter and it was good of the teacher to pay the doctor bill but if it is possible to report that incident I would.

Absolutely not. And she would not like to run into me on a street corner either!

I would not take her back.......I know if this had happened to my daughter, she would lose trust in me for putting her back in a situation that she got physically hurt in.....I am so sorry this happened to your little girl......