Worried About 5 Yr Old Daughter

I assume she just started? Give her some time. The teacher(s) will work with her. Ss she very shy? Sometimes it takes shy kids a while to come out of their shells and feel comfy somewhere new.

Is this her first time in a classroom environment? Was she in pre-school previously? If she was used to being at home, is she not used to the new situation or is it that she doesn't want to be there (compared to being home with mommy?). Is she feeling timid and a loss of confidence since she may not know the teacher or the other kids? I think you have a lot of questions to piece together before you can really figure out why she is reacting this way.

I agree with Karen that if your daughter hasn't been in a class environment before, she may take a little time to get used to having a cubby and a hook to hang her sweater, etc. These things will become second nature to her, especially as she sees the other children putting their things where they belong.
If she did go to preschool, it may just be that things are different and she's not sure exactly what to do. Again, it will become second nature.
I'm not sure when school started for her, but I'm guessing she only has several days under her belt. She'll get the swing of things, I'm sure. The teacher will work with her on her classroom habits. And, as I said, as she sees other kids in the routine of things, she'll pick up on it.

I wouldn't be too worried just yet.

Best wishes!

Maybe your daughter was too overwhelmed when the instructions were first given. Could you 2 stay after school and let the teacher explain it all to her again? Then you 2 could discuss it again at home..

If you give your daughter a multiple task, can she remember all of the instructions and follow them on her own?

Example. "Honey, in 5 minutes we are going to the grocery store. Could you help me get ready? I need to go potty, so while I am in the bathroom please, get me a cold bottle of water from the fridge. I also left my grocery list on the coffee table. Will you put them in my purse? I think I left the car keys on the front counter, oh and I need to take our grocery bags. They are hanging in the front closet. gather it all up and put it with my purse. Thank you.

If you do not think she can remember all of this, maybe cut it down to only 3 things or see if she can make some sort of list to remember. Before our daughter could write, she would draw pictures to make a list for the grocery store.

Remembering and following multi directions is one milestone.. Just practice giving her these multi tasks every once in a while.

Also was the teacher just letting you know, or was she telling you this because she thinks there is a problem? Many times, teachers are just giving you and FYI.. It does not mean they are really concerned. If you are a first time parent, be sure to just ask. "Oh, I guess I need to work on that with her, do you think there may be a problem?"

I would go in for a classroom observation. My concern would be whether the teacher has good structure for classroom routine, whether the teacher is teaching the rules in a fun yet consistent pace, and whether there is a effective reward system in place for all of her students.

It doesn't sound like anything to panic about! If she just started kindergarten then she might just need time to get settled into the routine. Ask her at home, out of the spotlight, if she remembers what her teacher told her to do when she gets there, try to prompt her on. I wonder if she gives you the clueless look also?

I've seen billions of kids become mute and give grown ups the blank stare when asked a simple question, who knows what is really going on in their heads. She is probably just freezing up when put on the spot.

Don't worry, that is normal. The teacher will know how to handle it. She's probably just overwhelmed. I would just write the teacher a note in a week to see how she's doing.

I wouldn't be too worried, but I know you want your daughter to listen to the teacher. When my oldest went thru a phase that she didn't want to listen to me we started taking away things. We sacked up ALL of her toys and took her TV out of her room for a week. It was very drastic, but it worked and she started listening to me. I have to threaten her every now and then still, but she knows I'll follow thru with it.

Does she do what she's told at home? If you've never enforced the rules at home, she will have a hard time at school too. Go over it with her before she goes to school each day, if you drive her you could talk about it on the way to school. I go over with my daughter each day how she needs to treat her friends and teacher, and specifically things she has been having trouble with, then we say a prayer before she gets out of the car-it's very calming for her and for me too. She will probably catch on soon as the routine becomes the new normal!

I have lots of years in child care and Kindergarten is my favorite age to work with. There is a miraculous thing that happens to their little brains during Kindergarten and/or 1st grade...it just turns on and starts working.

Freud called it the Latency Period. It's a time where their brains are focused on taking in as much information, and storing/processing it, as possible. It's not focused on going through any other stages of development, until the dreaded start of Adolescence and hormonal changes.

I wouldn't worry about Amber just yet, but I would continue to remind her of things every day, like when she is getting out of your vehicle tell her "Now, remember to put your things up when you get in the classroom and listen to your teacher" or actually call the teacher by name so you can help her learn the name.

We have a ritual every day when the kids are getting out "I love you, do something nice for someone else, and listen to Mrs. XXX" or "Mr. XXX".

Wiki quotes about the Latency Stage:
"...the latency stage is less of a stage and more of period between stages..."

"Freud described the latency phase as one of relative stability."

"During the latency phase, the energy the child previously put into the Oedipal problem can be used for developing the self. The superego is already present, but becomes more organized and principled. The child acquires culturally regarded skills and values. The child has evolved from a baby with primitive drives to a reasonable human being with complex feelings...During this stage, the child learns to adapt to reality..."

So, if he is correct in this then kids in Kindergarten come in basically pre-schoolers and go out by the end of 1st grade being pretty well adjusted little students who should be listening and learning. If there are still attention issues that are effecting the learning process then it may be time to have the school counselor do some evaluations.

This is the main reason I think all kids should start school at the correct age, 5 years old. This process happens and kids all seem to catch up during 1st and 2nd grade to all the other kids in their age group. If they don't then there may be something else going on. This is also why most school districts don't do developmental/behavioral evaluations on kids until they are in 2nd or 3rd grade.

Good luck to Amber and having a wonderful time in Kindergarten.