Working Moms: Do Your Toddlers Do This to You?

When we get home I give my boys 15-20 min of my undivided attention ~ they are 8 and almost 4. We talk about the school day, lunch time, who they played with at recess, etc. I sit and hold my little one and next to my oldest or we go outside and jump on the trampoline or sit on the front porch. Whatever. But I give them my full attention and it helps all get through the evening.
I have found they just need their time to decompress from school/daycare all day and I am apparently the best remedy for that :)

You don't mention if you have a partner with you, but could you just feed them a small meal (sandwiches are fine, just make healthy sandwiches and fruit/veggies), and sit with them and eat at that point? Or...... have the meal prepped and ready to serve (via crockpot) when you get home.......

As others have pointed out, they've missed you all day, and want YOU.......

Could you give them 1/2 hour of uniterupted time before getting dinner done at home..they want your attention, they don't want a cartoon!

I don't work, but my husband does. My son used to be like this with him. I finally told him, that he just needs a little attention from his dad. (It's hard to say that, without sounding harsh.) Now when he comes in, he gives my son 30 minutes of undivided attention. Boy, is he so much happier and easier. Your children only get to see probably 40-60 waking hours a week. (I'm not saying that in any bad way, it's just how it is! Nothing wrong with working or daycare!!) I think it's hard on some kids, for parents to walk through the door and go right into task mode. The hours you get with them, really are precious to them.Take that little bit of time for them right when you walk in, and I bet they will be much more well behaved.

My DD did that when she was small. As soon as I would walk in the door to the daycare she would start. I was told that she never did that when I wasn't there so I thought it was me.

Turns out that they do that because they have missed you, because they are trying, in their own little way, to tell you all their trials and tribulations of the day. You are the person they feel most comfortable with so you are the person they "complain" to. It's a back-handed compliment but that doesn't make it any easier to get through.

It will get better as they get older, I promise!

My son was like this when he went to daycare. He was much younger just a year old. I would give him a snack and start making dinner. But he would be very tired and cranky and wanted M. to give him attention instead. It would stress M. out because unless I cooked there would be nothing for him to eat.
Then one day I cooked ahead of time. And instead of the snack I gave him his dinner. He ate and played well. I gave him a little snack later and he slept. That's when I realized that the reason he was so cranky was because he was hungry and a snack was just not enough for him. He wouldn't eat well at daycare , so he needed an early dinner.
Do your kids eat well at daycare? My son wouldn't eat lunch well. He wouldn't be hungry enough so he would just pick and eat a few things. And then after nap he would be very hungry.His daycare had snacks at 2:30 or so. He would eat that very well. So I assumed he will be fine if I give him another snack/fruit until dinner. I was wrong.
Also the kids get very tired after a day at daycare. Lot of activities, running around. Maybe you should consider a early bed time if they are too tired and whiny.
My suggestion would be to cook after they sleep, and make something simple as you will be tired too. Refrigerate it and serve this for dinner the next day. Or you could use a crockpot for fresh dinner by the time you get home.

I think you've hit the nail on the head by saying they're tired. It's a long day for a little one, and when they're tuckered out they just want attention from their mommy.

It's normal, but there are things that might make it calmer. I went to a lecture by a dietician who said that rather than trying to get your children who are tired and whining to eat a big/main meal in the evening, a sandwich and a banana would do just as well. I love this dietician. This may cut down on cooking time for you, and you could sit down with the kids and snuggle, read, talk, or put them in a long, soothing bath - just the attention they want. And, if like me, you do feel the need to give them cooked meals once in a while, put on a slow cooker in the mornings so there's no prep at night.

Heck, mine is a teenager and still wants undivided attention when I get home from work. If only for a few minutes of "how was your day?".

When he was little, I would take 20 minutes or so and just play with him before I started dinner. It helped us both decompress from the day.

I also learned to embrace cooking on the weekends - things that could be served during the week, and learned to love my crockpot.

Try switching up your routine and see if it helps.

Good Luck.

Even as a SAHM at those ages at those hours? Yep. Which is why a LOT of kids eat separately from parents. Kids fed first (hint: leftovers from last nights dinner zapped).

I was a student when my son was that old and 5ish was the WORST time on the planet. Tired + Hungry = Tantrum.

I found 20oz of hot chocolate (made w milk) on the ride home, and 2 minutes until dinner (leftovers), THEN I cooked dinner while he helped me or played was the magic combo.

Meaning it worked 75% of the time. Because even staying at home still equals the witching hour s couple nights a week.

It is called the "Bewitching hour."

Many, many toddlers or young children, act like this at this time of day whether you are a SAHM or a work outside the home mom.

They have pent up energy, they are hungry, you are not giving them any attention while you prepare for the evening and they are beginning to get tired..

Crock pot meal with a bag salad so they can eat ASAP.. helps.

Or this is a good time to give them part of their dinner. Or a more filling snack.

IF they can go out and play that also helps. Meaning send your husband outside with them. We used to have so many children the same age, we could send our children out with different parents each night. The adults could unwind while dinner was being prepared by different spouses,

Mine always wants attention at the end of the day. Have you tried sitting down and giving them undivided attention before starting to cook, etc? You might find that it helps relieve their crankiness. Also, my daughter was always STARVED at the end of the daycare day. Her temper was much better if I remembered a snack for her to eat in the car (goldfish, cheerios or apple slices are great car options).

My kids did that when they were that age too. It's partly the age and partly they just want M. time. It's SO hard to do it all. Can you make crock pot dinners or eat in once a week? Maybe make easier dinners so it doesn't take too much effort?

I know it's hard - trust me, it gets better!! Well, easier. It's always better as a mom :).

My toddlers gave me a hard time but not in that way and I think it was partly bc I was focused on them when I came home. Not to put more pressure on you but I'd read children aren't "hurt" by mothers working if the mother is engaged when she's home. So I hate to say it but they're really young and haven't had much of you at all during the day so probably really need you to focus on them. Even toddlers who are with their moms all day can be clingy. So if I were you I'd skip cooking dinner. At their age, they don't need something fancy. Just make sure the "ingredients" are healthy and it's the same end result. And/or do some cooking on Sunday's so you can have 1 or 2 meals to just warm up. My kids also were up until about 9:00 at night so they got enough "mommy" time. I'd go to the park with them whenever weather permitted etc. Boring as heck for me but they didn't give me a hard time and eventually these years pass.

My kids did this at that time when I stayed at home and now that I work. It's just a bad time of day for them. They're tired, hungry, and generally just done with the day, but they don't want to "give in" and admit it! I honestly HATE evenings -I really do! I enjoy picking them up and listening to music on the way home with them and then reading them stories when they're going to bed, but the in between SUCKS!

All of my kids did/do that at those ages, and I'm a SAHM. It gets better as they get older. But even then when they're really tired and/or hungry, it can still get ugly. Hang in there!

yes.. normal behavior for toddlers this age.. doesnt matter if they are home all day or in day care .. they are tired and crabby.. I cooked dinners for several years holding a infant toddler or preschooler.. cause that is what I had to do to get dinner on the table.

Can you do more meal prep in the morning or the evening before.. chop veggies??? so they are ready to throw in the pan.

I would move bedtime earlier as the kids are tired.. I know you dont get to see them all week.. but seeing them cry and scream is not quality time.

Oh no ma'am! My 2yo does this often. We get home about the same time and he usually gets a snack as well while I cook. He wants to be held or wants to have lots of juice and applesauce which is a no-no. If he doesn't get his way, which is never, he cries and is a terror. This continues periodically throughout dinner, baths, until right before 8 (which is when Daddy gets home) by then he and my 9month old are playing and settling down and are angels. My husband has no idea why I am frazzled by the time he gets home....lol

Yeah as a working mom they are glad to see you and are worn out. Honestly, I'd get them a healthy snack and sit with them one on each side and watch cartoons with them for bout 15 min. I use to make myself a cup of tea or some coffee and just watch cartoons. Only hard part is getting back up to start dinner

My kids still do this and they are 5 and 7.

My kiddos definitely pull out the stops at night, after my husband and I get home. Part of it is one is unwinding from daycare, hungry, tired. Then she and her younger sister kind of rev each other up. Evenings are crazy.

I'm told that they aren't like this during the day, so I imagine it's a whole confluence of things making them wild.

You're not the only lucky one. :-)