Working Mom & Exhasted!

i believe that very few women can actual "have it all" ie- working full time, being a good mother and wife etc. I think it is a MUCH better idea to pick a couple of those and FOCUS on them only. For me, i am a stay at home mommy and wife. I can focus on my 5 month old and husband, at least for the next few years. do we have much money? no, definally not. do i get to be the one my son sees all day long and am i there when my husband comes home? yes i am. to me, that is the most important thinh, not a career outside the home. maybe when my son's in school, but not now. he comes first. hope that helps!

I'm a single mom with three sons (10,10,6), I work full-time and am on three non-profit boards. I don't have a housekeeper or nanny or dog-walker. And NO - I can't do it all! My house is messier than I'd like, we eat out too often, and my kids know that I can't make it to every field trip or class party. But here's the thing - I hug my kids every day; we laugh and love, and read and sing - even if the laundry piles up during the week. Just be sure to set aside some time on the weekends for relaxing - for me that means getting up at the same time (4:45) seven days a week - and using that extra time on Sat/Sun to get household chores done before having a nice reward, like an afternoon at the park or movies. Remember - the kids will grow and be able to help out eventually, and one year isn't enough time to really get into a rhythm - right now routine needs to become your best friend, so you can get your body into a reliable rhythm. That will help a lot with the exhaustion - and remember you and your husband are allies! Don't let being tired or frustrated creep into how you treat each other - I don't want anyone to have to go this path alone unnecesarily!!! Good luck!

I found this at lifeorganizers.com:

10 Daily Steps to an Organized Home
By Tracy Alt

In this day and age when it is common for both parents to work full-time and our kids are involved in many extra curricular activities, life moves at a pretty fast pace. It can be difficult to find the time or energy to keep the house clean amid all of our other daily responsibilities. The problem, however, is that if you let the house go too long it will become an overwhelming place, rather than a safe haven for you to retreat to after a long, busy day.

It doesn't take much to keep your home running like a well-oiled machine. If you can find five to ten minute pockets of time you can accomplish small tasks that will make a huge impact on the orderliness of your home. Here is a list of ten key tasks that take little time but make a big difference. Start adding them to your daily routine today and see the difference in how your house looks and how you feel.

1. Make your bed every day. Making your bed takes all of five minutes, but at the end of a busy day, when you can retreat to an inviting bed you will be able to feel the stresses of the day slip away as you slip under the covers. Make it a daily chore for your children to make their beds too. It will help your home look neater and teach them responsibility.

2. Do one load of laundry every day. I have a washing machine with a timer so I gather up a load of laundry each morning, place it in the machine, add the soap to the dispenser and set the timer so that the wash starts just before my husband gets home from work. When the machine stops, my husband transfers the load from the washer to the dryer. After dinner we fold the clothes together and get them put away. Broken down into segments, doing a load of laundry this way takes no time at all, but the difference it makes in keeping the laundry under control is unbelievable. If you do not have a washer with a timer, gather the load in the morning and throw it into the machine. As soon as you walk through the door in the evening get the load started so it will be ready to transfer to the dryer just before you sit down for dinner. The dryer will be done by the time you are finished cleaning up the dishes and you will be ready to fold the clothes and put them away. Doing a load of laundry every day adds only minutes to your daily routine, but when you do not have to spend your entire weekend trying to dig yourself out from underneath a mountain of dirty laundry, you will be glad you took those extra few minutes throughout the week.

3. Plan dinner in the morning. If you know exactly what you are going to make for dinner each night you will save yourself so much time that would have been wasted standing in front of the open refrigerator wondering what you can make. Pull anything out of the freezer that needs to defrost during the day, chop up some veggies or marinate something. If there is anything you can do in the morning to make the dinner time rush go smoother, do it

4. Make a list of any errands you can do while you are out. Blending errands into your daily routine will save you the hassle of having to run all over town on the weekends. Can you make a stop during your lunch hour? Can you drop something off on your way in to work or can you swing by and pick something up on your way home? Doing your errands throughout the week will save you a lot of time in the long run.

5. Clean up the kitchen after dinner. Although you are exhausted at the end of the day and it is tempting to put the dishes in the sink with the thought that you will do them in the morning, how many times has the next morning come and you get busy with other things? When this happens you wind up leaving the house with the dishes still undone and you have to come home to an untidy kitchen. Make a point to spend the extra ten minutes cleaning up the kitchen after dinner so that you can start each new day with a fresh clean slate instead of getting behind and letting things pile up.

6. Clean up the living room before going to bed each a night. Make this a family chore. Take five or ten minutes to do a sweep through the living room and put everything back where it belongs. Leaving things laying around is exactly how mountains get created out of molehills.

7. Schedule homework time. Life may not always allow for strict schedules, but try to keep things as consistent as possible so that your kids know what to expect and what is expected of them. Choose a time that you will be able to stick to most nights of the week and dedicate it to homework. Turn off the television and eliminate any other distractions so that your kids can sit down and really focus on their studies. Right after dinner is a good time for this if possible. The kids can sit at the table while you are cleaning up after dinner. You can spend time together while still accomplishing the task at hand and you are readily available for any questions they may have.

8. Pick out your clothes the night before. We all know how much easier it can make the morning rush to have your children choose their clothes the night before. Practice what you preach and choose your own outfit the night before. Remove all necessary items from the closet or dresser drawers and lay them out so they are close at hand. The precious minutes you save when you don't have to try and decide what you will wear could make the difference between running late and being right on time.

9. Make a bedtime routine. Explain to all of your family members what is expected of them when you say it is time for bed. This would include things like bathing and brushing their teeth, putting their clothes in the laundry hamper, changing into their pajamas, choosing their clothes for the next day and getting into bed. Practice this so that when you say "it's time for bed," they know exactly what to do. If you do not have to follow them around telling them what to do next, while they are executing their routine, you will have time to take care of any last minute details you need to accomplish before calling it a day. If your kids need some motivation, create a reward system for each night that they can successfully accomplish their bedtime routine all by themselves.

10. Keep a note pad next to your bed. It is always just as we are getting ready to retire for the day that we remember something we have to do tomorrow. Be prepared for these end of the day ideas with a note pad at hand to write down anything you must remember. The next morning, simply pull off the top sheet of paper and put it in your pocket or purse to refer to later in the day.

Start small. Add one or two things to your routine each day. Before you know it, your house will be neater and feel more inviting and you will be happier and less overwhelmed. Maybe you can even find some free time to spend relaxing.

I too have a 1 year old and he's such a handful. I totally know how you feel. Hang in there! When I get too frustrated and overworked, I just read this and it makes me feel so much better!

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day.............

Hi A.,

First I want to congradulate you. Women are amazing no matter what they do in thier life. Keeping house, maintaining a marriage, raising children, among all the other duties we place on ourselves, breast feeding, home-schooling, even keeping pets are just a few examples. I can't even imagine how my grandmother stayed sane with eight kids, even with the alcoholism.

I always remember to pull forward those things that are important to me. Family, Friends, Self (women move this out too often), Church, Community, and Work are just a few.

I beleive in "Don't sweat the small stuff". Let the dishes soak a day longer, let the laundry pile up one more week, pick up dinner on the way home, So what if the floor looks dirty, only you and maybe close friends will see it. Let the lawn grow a little more. Buy TV dinners and a microwave.

Keep children on a schedule. If they know what to expect, they are easier to manage. Plus, you know what to do and where you can fit your other priorties in. Time Management is a great tool to start with.

Remember to focus on yourself. Take at least 30 minutes to read the paper/magazine/book you want to catch up on (kids see this and will mimic good reading habits while you get some quite time).

My focus is my marriage. If my marriage is in place, all else falls into place easily. We do regular date nights, kiss each other goodby every time, have sex (even if one of us doesn't want to). We understand eachothers quirks and accept them. Married 14 years has proven that we can work together and make it through it all. Having a child together just makes it that much more meaningful.

Hope this helps.

I am so proud of you! It is hard to juggle everything that life has handed you,but dont ever think your son doesnt know his mommy loves him. I want my daughter to be proud of me when I finally become a career woman and make lots of money because I worked hard for it. It teaches them about following your dreams and how hard work pays off. I dont want my daughter to think my dream was to stay home all day...sorry but it never was. I knew that I would have a career as well as her father. But it's funny to hear everyone say "stay home,put your career on hold". Because that would make you just a mommy and wife(if you're married). I never wanted to lose who I was,so I became a mommy...wife...and a career woman. You dont stop being a mommy just because you do it all! Also, some woman are single moms(as I am now),and can't stay home. I was lucky enough to stay home the first year with my daughter Rylin,but still cut hair on the side. Now I'm single and going back to school to become the person I really deep down wanted to be,and my daughter and me have the best bond still to this day! So good luck,and I hope you find a balance;)

WOW, you are exactly in my same boat! I have a 14month old baby girl, I work full time and still try to come home after work and cook, wash bottles, feed the baby, give her a bath, get her ready for bed, and then try to still have time for myself which doesn't happen much. I barely have time for my husband! I think we just have to come to terms that this our life and we should not let all the frustrations over come us. One thing I do make sure is at least 2 times in a work week, i take the time to just sit down and let those dishes and bottles sit there and give ALL my undivided attention to my very active little girl. Good luck mommy!

www.flylady.net

I came across this website some years ago, but wasn't ready. Now, with two toddlers and #3 on the way, I can't tell you how helpful it's been. It's not a quick-fix. You do what you can every day and they guide you at whatever stage you find yourself.

Totally worth it if you want sanity for yourself, your child, and your marriage (most importantly!)
good luck

Quit work all together or cut back your hours. It's so not worth it. Once I stopped working full time, life is so much easier. I am happier to be around and not so grouchy at my kids and hubby. You and your man need together time after your little one is alseep-not cleaning time. Life is to short and your child will be grown before you know it. Don't miss out on the important things. As for the house, your child will remember the fun things and time spent together, not the cobweb you missed in the corner. I saw a sign once I think of often. It read "You may look at the dust, but please don't write in it!" Good luck.

Hi A.,

Here is my creed, when you have a child get ready to devote at least 18 years of your life to him. That means put your career on hold, cut back, you can do it people have done it for years. Time goes by so fast before you know it your son will be grown.You can't do 4 jobs at a time and expect to do them all well.

Aloha,
I have a 19 month old... it's now getting better... but I've been there... I think everyone goes through that stage. it's life changing having children. I have found that having the child "help" when you do things, laundry... dishes etc. Let them feel they are a part of helping out and give them praise when they try. It is also a great learning experience for them to learn to put their toys away etc. It will make your life so much easier.
You can have time for friends... you just have to make time, whether you go to the beach for an hour, or take the stroller and meet with some friends for a walk. I thought I would never have time for anything either, but somehow you make it work. Things will get better as your child grows!
I own my own business and work 6/7 days a week... and my husband works full time, but we find a way to enjoy everyday!

A.,
Take a deep breath and don't be guilted into quitting your job. It's just a balance. I have a part time job, but work full time hours. I still am able to drop my daughter at school, be involved and pick her up at the end of her school day. I HATE cooking so I find other options. You DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL...You CAN'T do it all.

However, some of us HAVE TO WORK...and not for the yacht, mercedes or big screen t.v. I contribute my salary to the mortgage, our high property taxes (which are almost as much as my mortgage), my health insurance (so that my daughter can visit a doctor), my life insurance (so that if something happens, everyone will be covered), our utilities, our maintenance on our 12 and 10 year old cars and giving to our church and charities. Sorry, but my husband's job is not enough to cover all the expenses living in SoCal. So, I found a job in my daughter's school district so that I have the same days off, work close to home etc.

But for me, I pretty much only cook a meal one or two days a week. I use coupons and order food from all sorts of local places. To save money, we split meals or I buy lunches and reheat for dinner. I mow my own lawn to save money and see it as a form of exercise. It gets done, when it gets done. If I didn't mind cleaning, I'd find someone to clean my house.

I've been married 20 years and we've been juggling it with a daughter for 12...it's a balance and you just need to find what you are willing to give up. As your child looks back in time, it's not the clean toilets or sparkling sink that he/she will remember, it's the times you spend together...even if it's helping with the laundry. He/She can help you throw them in a basket, play a song on the radio while you do it or something.

Balance, balance & balance...find your own though...don't let anyone make you feel guilty.

Good luck!

From raising my girl alone from day 1 I learned some tricks.
1. Consolidate energy and time by maximize your efficiency. Take time to go over your day and pick it apart. How do you lose time and save time. Try to shop less often(plan ahead), clean efficiently and in an area you already are. Meal plan. Organise your day around a healthy and sustainable rythym that incorporates each of your needs. You can be the best parent by also taking care of yourself.
2. Make a kid free break happen for 30min-2hrs a day for sanity's sake. You must be out of earshot of the little one. You can practice a spiritual/ religious/ relaxation/ whatever restores your spirit, body and mind.
3. Try to do something just for fun once a week and remember you are a woman and not only a mom.
Hope this helps and feel free to request more if desired. Don't worry it will get easier, try to enjoy this age because he will grow more independant fast.

Please get yourselves a housekeeper to clean and do laundry so you wont go and jump off the highest building you find! hey i know that situation, try adding a teenager on top of that! any how make those everyday mundane chores a job for someone else, AND make it HAPPEN so you and your husband can enjoy your child and your life. That is no. 1.
Good luck
TK

I hear ya! I have a 1 yr old too and I'm done by 9:30! My only saving grace is that I take her to a baby sitter on my days off. That gives me a day to myself to get things done. At first I felt guilty being at home when she was at daycare, but honestly its the best thing for both of us. She gets to play all day and then I have time on my other days off to focus 100% on her. I think that the sooner I realized that my old life was over, the better it got. You have to surrender just a little bit. Who cares if you have dishes in the sink! You baby is only a baby once. Cherish that time. Maybe you can have someone watch him once a week/month so you can get done the things that you need to get done. Thats what grandparents are for! Or, better yet if you can afford it have cleaning service help out! I would LOVE that! I try to remeber that she will remeber all of the fun we had and not if the house was cluttered and her mom forgot to dust!

Hi A.,
Hang in there. It will get better as your son becomes more independent. I think we have all been there or are there. On the days I work, I make lunches, make sure dishes are washed and we have clean clothes for the week. Twice a month, I pay bills, which are sometimes a little late, but they are paid and there's not a tow truck coming to pick up the vehicles. I used to be very diligent about all of my filing, bill paying, house cleaning, and auto cleaning. Now, I know there is someone who needs my help so I just do what I can. Looking back, there is a big difference between 1 and 2 years old.

Time goes quick, so enjoy whatever you can.

C.

Hi-

When it comes down to it, only you know what is best for you. For me taking the stress of being a working mom is much better for my sanity, and I think better in the long run, than if I would stay at home with my son. I've heard that about a 1/3 of moms want to keep working and 1/3 of moms want to stay at home full time once their kids are born.

Fortunately we've found a wonderful daycare person and I've learned that the house does not have to perfectly clean. We are actually looking into a cleaning service right now. For dinner we usually do a crock-pot type meal or a frozen quick cook (like bertolli). My son is now two, and its much easier than when he was one, he even puts his dishes in the sink when he is done. I actually finished up my Ph.D. when my son was 15 months... I got to spend very little time with him for about 2 months, but I know it is something that will inspire him later in life. I still work long hours, and some days I only see my son when I get him up to take him to day care. Instead of feeling guilty and overhelmed I focus on making the time I have with him the best it can be. Just hang in there, and try your best to carve out some time once a week for yourself and your husband. And there is such a thing as a balanced life - it just that each day is never balanced, but your life overall can be balanced.

Good luck

I so know how you feel!!! I work full time and have a 2 1/2 year old son. Here are some things that help me.
-There are some things I just let go of...for instance, the bed no longer gets made during the week.
-I try and keep a decent schedule of when certain things get done and I don't stay late at work. I also don't do work activities that don't involve my son and husband.
-Vons.com! I order my groceries online and have them delivered. Saves me the weekly trip and I can order them Friday night and have them delivered Monday after I get home from work.
-I also have someone clean my house every other week...love it!
Good luck and don't worry...somehow, you'll make it through.

Hi A..

Since your son is your first priority....are you able to work part-time or quit your job and put your career on hold for a while?

I have twins, which are now 5 years old. I use to work a full-time job and know exactly how you feel.

The best advice that I have ever gotten was to "Become a stay at home MOM and that a job will always be out there waiting for me, but the memmories of the kids growning up and missing all the times spend with them....you can never get it back.

I never regreted it. I got to take my kids to parent/child classes and spend a whole lot of time with them. Meeting other stay at home Moms was fun too....getting together with all the other kids. I have 2 wonderful, beautiful happy kids.

If you are not able to afford to stay at home.....
Maybe you can......
Ask a friend/family member or neighbor to watch your son for an hour or so while you prepare a meal, clean the house or to take a break?

Sincerely,

Lorna

A.: The first year is the most demanding, so the good news is that things will start getting easier before long. Time management is critical here (try it with three!). On the weekend, prepare a few casseroles to freeze so that you can just pop something in the oven while you read or play with your son. You can also buy foods that are easy and healthy...just grill some chicken and veggies and don't opt for dinners with a lot of prep time. Get on a schedule that you try hard not to deviate from and you'll be able to do more. For example, allot a certain time for each thing you need to do and multi-task, doing things like laundry at the same time (I learned to always keep the washer and dishwasher going). You can almost make a game of trying to get ahead of the schedule. When the baby naps, take some time to rest too. Sometimes you may need to just let something go in order to get needed sleep. For those of us who are obsessed with order and keeping things nice, it's a curse, but some things will wait. Once a month or every couple of weeks, plan a date night and stick to it...even if you have to get a sitter. Moms need adult time too and there is nothing to feel guilty about when you have a few moments of enjoyment with your husband. In fact, that's essential.

have you thought about doing a schedule like monday vacuum, tuesday laundry etc. so you are not trying to do all items in one night. I am a fulltime mom and work on weekends I I am tired and unable to get everything done so take it one day at a time and really space out your chores throught the week.

I know how hard this transistion can be! Hang in there! As for your cooking, there's a great lady named Katie David that does in-home cooking...she'll prepare a week's worth of meals for you and freeze them so all you have to do is pop them in the oven. She'll find out what your likes/dislikes are to help create a menu; go grocery shopping for you; come back and cook at your house; and even clean up after herself. Her business is called Mommy Meals.
I highly recommend her. Her food is AMAZING!!!! You can reach her at ###-###-####.
I hope this helps!
~D.
www.douladarla.com

Hi A.,
I too feel the same way- it's tough. My son is a little over two and full of energy. I work full time and am a part time student and feel that my to do list is always a mile long. I know my situation is a little different because I do have "nights off" from my son when he is with his father as we have joint custody, but those are the nights I cram everything else in. =) What worked best for me was every Sunday, after cutting my coupons =) (it's my quite time.) I make my weekly to do list of all things big or little that have to be done that week. I then go through the list and give each item a day and then make daily to do lists. It seems to be working well. For the nights of the week that I do have my son, I try to keep my to do list to a minimum, since I won't work on it until after he goes to bed. I've also given up my lunch breaks to run errands and that sort of thing =) lol- not the best lunch break but I feel like I'm getting stuff done so when I leave my office I'm still energetic about crossing the rest of the stuff off my list. Saturdays are my busy day, where I cram as much into the day as possible ( I would pick a day that works best with your families schedules) and Sunday is my fun day. I do not schedule anything on Sunday's to do list except cut coupons, and make the next weeks lists, occassionaly a load of laundry if the rest of the week didn't go so well but then it's all play with my son. I know some people are not list people, but for me having it all mapped out and on paper makes me feel like I have a plan, organized and puts a smile on my face when I start crossing things off the list =) I hope this helps and you can find something useful that will work for you as well. I also agree with the other moms, that it does get easier as your child gets older. I know a year ago I was a mess but now I know that my son can occupie himself for a little bit in his room with his toys while I cook dinner or clean the dishes. Just remember to breath and everything else on your plate can wait, but time with your child cannot.
Good luck and take care!
H.

Hi A., I don't mean to sound insensitive because I know raising a child takes everything and then some. But I will tell you that it is todays standard that tell us that we can have a fulltime career and raise a child. Why Mothers don't look at being a full time Mom as a calling (a career)is beyond me. Ask yourself, the opposite of fulltime my is partime Mom. Truly, where's your heart? No matter how you chalk it up, any other focus beyond raising your child there stands to be a loss, it may be big, it may be small but there is a loss. I know that financially some women can't do it and I respect that, you do what you can do. And the answer to your question. "how to make it all happen"? Impossible. Words of wisdom, when children are young it seems like you don't have a life because they become your life. It's just a season and the season passes quickly, don't miss it for the world.

In the boat as you, working FT, caring for the 22 month old....I am a perfectionist and not having a clean house, organized, cook, work....Is all foreign to me. Crazy as it sounds many said, just let go, yet I still tried to do it all. It finslly hit me watching that stupid remake Freaky Friday with Lindsey Lohan. Our precious children are only this age for a little while, pretty soon they're off to school, and out with their friends, they don't NEED you anymore. Who cares about the crumbs on the floor, unmade bed, dirty dishes, you, you, you. You'll have plenty of time to clean up from age 3 on. play with them, chase them, relax & enjoy them....-A

Wow. Guess I'm the only one with the following opinion (or at least the only one willing to come out with it): No woman can "have it all". It's impossible! Just look at all of the stresses that you've listed. There is no one actually making your house a home. Is this really the best situation for you and your family? You and your husband are both playing the same position, when you're supposed to be a team, working different positions. I suggest that you become a full-time mom. That way, your child won't be neglected, which is what is happening when you attempt to take on a career, school, mothering, being a wife, taking care of the home...no wonder two income families have such a high divorce rate! It's fiction that working women can "balance" their lives. What, so the child gets 40% of your time and attention? 30%? Either way, it's not a 100%.

I think that your child and your home should be your number one responsibility. The most important job a woman can hold is motherhood...don't throw it away or act like it's not important to raise your own child. I know from experience that working all day, being stressed out, and then coming home to a house that needs to be cleaned, dinner that needs to be cooked, a husband that needs your love and attention...not a good situation. I started working part-time, and my marriage is 10 times better, because I'm not stressed or "tired" anymore. When I get pregnant, I'll be quitting my job to become a full-time mom. It just takes planning, budgeting, and giving up material things. Think about it. It's not "impossible" or a "luxury" to stay home...it's something that you plan. Good luck to you!

hire a houskeeper

A.:
Working moms are definitely "working" moms. How important is it to pursue your career right now? Can it wait a few years? A one year old needs a lot of attention as you know. If you can financially afford it hold off for a few years and enjoy your precious baby. You won't get this time back and your child will be happier if you are less stressed parents.
If that's not an option get help around the house, even a teenager to come help out a few times during the week to help you with house chores or child care might relieve some of the stress.
Take the time to really prioritize with your husband and determine what absolutely has to be done during the week and what can wait for the weekends. Find a good sitter in your area and make sure you have a date night at least once or twice a month.
You can also get some tips on "unfrazzling" at www.unfrazzled.com

Good Luck!

You can't to everything, so don't try. Pick out the things that are important and get help for the rest. If possible work less or stay home with your baby. If not possible, use some of your money to hire help. Get someone to clean, go to on of those places where you take a few hours to cook 6-12 meals ahead of time. If you try to do everything you will make yourself crazy. STOP.

You may want to consider another professional position that does not require you to be away from the home fulltime. That is what I did. I chose that path 15 years ago and although I do not have major financial assets at this juncture, I can say that I have two extremely well adjusted children and have found my career as a founder of a non-profit extremely rewarding. You may find that taking on part-time work nets the same income since your expenses drop. You CAN make it happen if you want to. Also, keep in mind, if I were laying on my death-bed, what would I WISH I would have prioritized? The messy house?

Hi A. -
I'm expecting my first baby at in September although I can relate to not having enough time in the day to do all that I would like to & wishing I had more energy. I work a full time job, own my own small business & involved in multiple extras. My suggestion is to make out a schedule each week of the things you need to do, work, appointments, activities & of course house work. Spread it out throughout the week so you arent trying to do everything at once. I am the kind of person who feels the need to be organized. If I set myself a schedule as if I was at work (which we are all the time) I feel like I am able to get more work done & find myself more likely to spend quality time with my family. So from 7am to 10pm each day I know wwhere I need to be & what needs to be worked on.
I hope I can help...

A.......you are in good company.....so many of us in similar situations. I have 2 daughters ages 1 and 3, I own 3 companies and I am married. It's not an easy lifestyle, but it's what I have been blessed with and that's how I continue to look at it. Sure there are days where I am at my threshold; house is trashed, bills are late, kids are neglected, hubby is neglected, did I shower today, and dinner is very, well, at least it's not Mcdonalds. Accept these days as part of life, attempt to learn what you can about you and how you handle yourself during these days and KEEP GOING! God gave you the miracle of a child and at the end of the day - NOBODY cares how clean your house is but you - but you will NEVER recapture the time you could have spent with your son, or your husband, friends, family.

When I had my first two,(now 10 & 7) I too worked full time. It is very hard to balance time ans schedules. What I did, was sit with my husband and we both decided what things were important. We let the house go somewhat. It was tidy, but not "clean" and it will never be until my 17 mo old is at least 5. Twice a month, I sent her to a sitter and actually mopped my floors, and cleaned the tubs and showers. As we got used to doing the same routine, we incoperated more into it. We also said that Sundays were family days and didn't do any housework. Only the laundry we needed for the week and dinner. Also crockpots,casseroles, and salads during the fweek.
Good luck, and it does get better.
K. E

I worked full time when until my oldest was 3 (he's now 10, and I have a 5 year old and 1 year old) and I know how you feel. One thing that help our family was after we picked up our son from my sister's, we went to the park. This allows you and you husband to de-stress and gives you some quality family time. It can be as little as a half hour. You can even just pack a simple picnic and have dinner at the park (sandwiches, veggies, fruit etc). It's definitely impossible to do it all. Is it possible to hire someone to help with the housework? Another thing that worked for us is using a baby backpack while doing housework/cooking. All 3 of our kids enjoyed being in it (not all kids are happy in it, just a suggestion, just make sure you get a heavy duty one ie Kelty Kids or REI-- look for at resale shops). In the end, I ended up quitting full time, but was able to work part time for several years. Currently I'm a full time mom and love it. Good Luck, it's a tough balance!

Kids are a full time job, a job we signed up for and a job for most, that we love. It sounds like you really love your son so is it fair to make him stand in line for your attention? I know that you say he is your priority, but how many hours do you really get with him and are they spent on tasks like eating, bathing and getting ready for bed or a day at the sitters? I worked until my first son was just over a year old and even though I had a flexible job I knew I needed to stop working to give him all of me, just what he needed. I regret that I didn't do it sooner. I was scared because we were going to lose out on my financial contribution (over $80,000 a year, benefits, cell phone, free car and gas ect.). It was a lot but we've managed and I know that we are so much better for it. I get to just hang with my kids, my two year old has friends that he gets to grow up knowing from a young age and we can just drop everything and go to the park if the weather is right. Remember that you are the temperature gage of the home - if mom is happy and content, the rest of the household will be too. Good luck to you and give it some thought.

You're not alone! What you need to realize is that you have to make a decision. NO ONE will care if you don't vaccuum that day... or if the laundry goes unfolded for a night... make a schedule for yourself. For example, only one day a week can be vaccumming... dusting on the day before... your house cannot be THAT dirty that everything has to be done everyday. The other option is that you hire a housekeeper. If you are both working then there should be some money to hire one. Could you go down to part-time?

Hello A.

God bless you. You are trying to do it all and the only person who does not benefit from you being super Mom is you. My first advice is to put yourself first. Whatever that may mean to you because if you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be able to take care of your family to the best of your ability. Some other tips I've found to be helpful are:

1. Get a cleaning service to come in at least once a month, every other week if you can afford it. If you have an ongoing contract with them, it's really not that expensive and definetly worth the money.

2. Cook meals in a slow-cooker/crock pot. This has been a lifesaver for me. It doesn't even have to be the whole meal. I usually put my entree (meat, chicken, etc) in it and leave for work. By the time I get home, it only takes minutes to add some veggies (frozen of course)and some rice or whatever I'm having with it. It also smells great when you open the house. Like coming home to your own home cooked meal. There are also cook books that have recipes specifically for slow cookers. Check them out.

3. Pay your bills, balance your checkbook, etc. on your lunch break or break time at work.

4. If possible, try arranging your child care closer to home so that you can actually go home and do a few things before picking up your son.

5. Accept that this may not be the ideal time to pursue your studies/career on a formal basis. Especially if you need to work and study at the same time. You can also consider part time/online programs.