Work or Stay at Home?

If you can afford it. I would stay at home. Try it for a while and see if it works for both of you. I could only stand 1 year, then I welcomed going back to work.

I would highly recommend staying home to take care of your son yourself. Babies cry when their needs are not meet, and a daycare will not give him what is best for him. You are his mom and know him best. You will be missing most of his life and his learning, his smiles, all of that will go to someone else who is just paid to do the basics for him. Please stay home with him. You will adjust financially, it takes time to get use to not having as much money, but I garentee that your son would rather have you than what your money cn buy. 90% of babies who die of SIDS were placed in daycares only 2 weeks before. Please consider staying home with him. He needs you. He will only be this age once and if you miss it, its gone forever.

Well... I work FT. My daughter started daycare at 3.5 months. I am very glad with my decision to stick with it and keep working, especially during the first 12 months (Because you're always wrestling with the 'grass is greener' view of staying home with your baby). Yes, there are days when its extremely difficult to juggle work, marriage, mommy duties and "my time"... especially when you're woken up at 4 am from the baby or when you're rushing to meet work demands while home with a sick child. But honestly, I think it makes me a better mother to have a "separate existence"... As odd as it sounds, working allows me to have a little down time from motherhood: I can focus on other things, use my brain differently, have adult interaction and conversations. But, I also like my job, I like my career, I like what I do. And I think 'job/career satisfaction' is a really significant factor in regard to this question... If you deep down don't like your professional identity, then deep down you're not going to want to stick with it.

I think it helps my marriage to be able to share with my husband those work experiences/topics and interaction with coworkers. Otherwise, I would probably only have tidbits about the baby and childcare to discuss with him when he came home every night... and honestly, that would not nurture us as a couple or allow us to grow.

My child is well adjusted. Yes, all children go through normal separation anxiety phases that pop up and subside during 15-36 months, however she is thriving at her preschool. She is bonded with her teachers. She is articulate, social (very comfortable in large groups of children and among children she may not know before), not shy, self-assured, prone to sharing--all of that is taught directly through daycare interaction. She is potty trained (and her breakthough 'aha' moment came within weeks of her moving into a daycare class that focused on potty training). She is comfortable around other ethnicities, around people of all body sizes, and comfortable in the care of elders as well as young adults and teens. These are things I could not necessarily ensure if her social circle was solely me and the children of my friends and family. The children that I see at her daycare that are crying, having a difficult adjustment, and missing parents are typically the children who started daycare as older toddlers (and who remember a different daily routine, at home with their toys and with mama). Children who have always had the routine of daycare don't have the same adjustment issues.

When she went to her age 3 check-up, her pedi drew some shapes on some paper and asked her to tell her which was which. Honestly, I got nervous! I didn't know that was part of the check-up! There was that moment of 'oh no, we haven't been constructively working with her on shapes!'. I mean, we read to her, we do art, puzzles, playdough and play together with her various 'educational toys', and she's grown up with gymboree classes/ballet/gymnastics/soccer... But my husband and I don't necessarily focus on teaching her concepts week by week... And you know what--she knew all her shapes. In fact, she hesitated when asked where the circle was and said "that's an oval".

Her preschool teaches her: manners, colors, shapes, counting/numbers, animals (farms, zoo, ocean life, insects) space, dinosaurs... etc... Maybe if I was home with her everyday, I would be organized enough to teach her structured concepts that build on the previous weeks' concepts... Or, maybe I would just play and do art with her and have the TV on all the time!

Please note, I'm just talking about me and the personalities of my husband and me... For us, having her in preschool is a incredible advantage; it rounds out our shortcomings. And I do not mean to pass judgement on SAHMs and I hope my post is not interpreted to say anything on whether or not daycare is better than being at home. My comments are solely in regard to how I can foresee my daily activities and my habits if I was home with her everyday.

(Good luck!)

That's really sad!if you think finiancally you could be able to quit then by all means do it!I know its hard epically right now butt if you have someone to help you its better.Daycare can sometimes be ruff I know I worked in a couple even though you think your baby is to small to know who's taking care of him or her he feels his momma is there or not and he can feel the persons energy if the care provider is fustrated the baby will feel it if you can stay home with your baby noone can take care of your baby better than you cuz your his momma or get a close relative to take care of him think about it while your @ work your baby cries all day!I would quit!

I've done both...working mom and stay at home mom.

LOVE staying at home. I live in half the house that I used to and never looked back.

I RESPECT working mom's. Let's not start a mommy war here.

For me....I am ten times the mother to my youngest now that I stay at home. I often feel guilty that I worked while my oldest was in day care. Can't get those days back and they go by fast.

You sound like you want to stay home but feel guilty for saying it. Why? It's the most selfless job in the world to be a Mom.
Do it...stay at home. You'll be happy you did (I hope). If not, you can always go back to work.

E.,

It is a tough decision. With my first child I went back to work and paid his grandma to take care of him. If she hadn't given us a big discount it would have been silly for me to go back to work because I would have been paying out as much as I was making. With my second and Third I have decided to stay at home and go back to school online. If that is something that you are interested in, now is a great time. I go to Ashford University and am loving it. Without my income we were now eligible for grants and scholarships.
Pros and Cons for me on staying home:
P - see my kids a lot
C - see no adults a lot
P - No constant care fees
C - Kids may get used to always having mommy and become dependant
P - Get to teach them the values I think are important
P - Spend less on Gas
C - Spend more on groceries and activities

I love staying home with my kids, but I think if I had it all to do over again, I would have done something part time or become really active in my church. Something so that the kids would know and be more willing to play with others and they wouldn't need Mommy all the time. My youngest is now 10 months and i try to take them to the day care or at least out to play with other kids, once a week.

R.

I love that you want to be with your babies.. they grow up so fast.. I chose to stop doing realestate ... and work from home... I do go out six to ten days out of the month but make six figures.. if your interested i would love to share... ____@____.com or you can call me anytime at ###-###-#### i love to teach other moms that they can have the best of both worlds... i thought that was impossible... good luck L.

Would working part time be an option? I worked at a daycare when I was pregnant with my son, and I LOVED it, but I could never go back once he was born (even though I could bring him with me) there is just not enough hands to give the babies the cuddling time they want especially when they are that young. If you can stay home, maybe you should try it. You will never get this time back and its precious. If you decide its not for you, or he gets a little older where you are more comfortable you can go back and at least have the piece of mind. If he does remain in daycare he will turn out just fine! It'll get easier and you will both adjust.

Your baby will be fine with whatever decision you make as long as you are fine with it. Both my husband and I alternated with staying home with the kids because we did not want to miss a minute of their early years. Even though it was a financial burden for which we are still paying, we do not regret it for an instant. Yet, many parents desire to work and feel they are better parents if they can work during the day and parent at night. Choose what feels right for you, and your baby will be right with it.

It is such a hard decision.. I had to stop working 3 1/2 months before my son was born due to my condition. He was born Feb 13th and I had to back to work mid April I think..I was very lucky that a Christian daycare opened in my neighborhood, they were small and although my heart broke to leave him, I could see that they attended to them very well. I was off in for the summer (teacher) then had to go back again in late Aug..didn't want to, but I had made and agreement with my fiance to work one more year..and since I liked that daycare I said okay.. around his first birthday I began to feel more pains about leaving him because he was beginning to walk and I felt I was missing out..the school year ended and I was on the fence about whether to go back or not (fiance wanted me to), then the daycare closed and I couldn't find one I was happy with. I resigned and have been home with my son now over a year.. Honestly,it was not financially responsible, I had way too much debt, and I since broken up with my fiance, rented out my house and moved to an apt, and an in way over my head. I'm actually trying to find something now.. But I don't regret it. This year I have been able to spend with him has been the best! I have been there for so many "first", and he brings me such joy (although headaches too). I wouldn't trade my time with him for any amount of money. I did put him in a part time early learning center 4-5 hours a day, started with 2 days and ended with 4 towards the end, mainly so he could be with other kids and so I could have some "me time". At only 165/mo for part time it was worth it. 320 for 4 days.. I really don't want to put him in daycare for an 8 hour day, so am looking into work at home options or for part time wk....just have to find some legit ones) So ,there's my story,, if you can afford it, and you want to be at home with your child, do it.

I did not go back to work when my son was born. It was very important to my husband and I for me to be at home with our child because both of our parents had to work several jobs. Because of this, we were always in someone else's care.

Because I haven't been on both sides of the fence, I can only give you what I believe are pros of staying home with your baby.

1. Bonding time with your baby.
2. Less chance your child will be sick, which equals less trips to the doctor/pharmacy.
3. Your gas bill will go down because you won't have to drive to work and daycare every day.

I know there are more, but I can't concentrate at the moment!

I work at home with my little girls - I love the freedom to spend time with them and still pay the bills. Let me know if you want to learn what I do. My blog http://jenniferbaird.blogspot.com

I have not been in your situation, but I am a SAHM and I have worked at a daycare. Your baby is probably sad when you leave him. At this age his memory isn't developed enough to say "oh, mom is leaving me, but she will be back" right now he doesn't know if you will ever come back. 9 hours a day is defiantly alot of time away and unless you have found an awesome daycare, the workers probably don't have time to give your baby the attention he needs. Is it possible to find a SAHM in your area to watch your son and cut down your hours to part time? If at all possible I suggest staying home. It is hard and you can go a little stir crazy but they learn and grow SO fast the first year. :) good luck I hope you can find a balance that makes you happy.

Well I have been on both sides of the fence. When my first was born I went back to work for 3 months. I couldn't do it. I quit my job to stay home. We lost half our income. But there are ways to do it and not be miserable. You just have to be crafty. Make a list when you go to the store, cut your cable, like the other gal said, your gas bill will be cut down drastically, only eat out once a month, and don't use credit cards. It sounds like alot but it isn't. It is really easy to do, but you just won't have as many "luxuries". Over the years my husband has been promoted, finished his degree and we are ok and have more luxuries now. It was very worth it to be home with my kids. Good luck to you!

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I was lucky enough to take my first son with me to work...my husbands boss saw how unhappy i was having to leave him at daycare and offered me a job!!!
After that we purchased her company and it continued for all four of them.
But I just could not leave my baby when they are that age--I feel-and not saying its wrong to use day care- until they are mobile they should be with parents or family members that can hold them and give them the love they need. If you can do it financially do it!!