Is Daycare Really as Terrible as I Think It Is?

I just had a really long answer and lost it in computer world. To make a long story short, I am someone who is not cut out to be a SAHM. I am in awe of those who are great at it, but I don't think it is bad to have a career either. It does NOT make you a bad mom. Anyway, my daughter went to daycare at 7 weeks old and it has been the best decision for us. She has learned so much, I believe more than I would have been able to teach her at home since I would have been doing other things like cooking and cleaning and not focused solely on her. She has also become very social, which is a great thing coming from shy parents! She was very prepared for kindergarten because of the daycare where she learned all the preschool-type academics.
We chose a daycare facility over an in-home provider for the state standards that are upheld, the fact that there is more than one person to hold other teachers accountable for their care of the children and the fact that they don't call off sick.
Best wishes and know that it will work out.

I LOVE my sons daycare and I don't know what we are going to do when he is too old to go there. I actually had a dream last week where I was crying because he was too old for the daycare. My son LOVES his teachers and friends. My son has never been neglected or abused in anyway. It is a small daycare with 3 teachers and about 25 kids full time and part time and we think of his teachers and friends as "extended family". I know some might think of that as a bad thing but really I wouldn't want to leave my son with anything less. Anyway, that my daycare story
ADDED: I just wanted to add that my son has had the same teachers and kids at the daycare he since he started 2 1/2 years ago. Some of the kids did move on because of age or because they moved but the majority of kids are the same and once kids come to the day care the usually stay. I had to add that part because I do think that makes a difference.

It depends upon the child, and depends upon the daycare. If she doesn't like one you could try another until you get a good fit for her.

My mother worked full-time. I love her dearly. We have a great relationship, and my mother has been a great role model for me. By any objective societal measures, professionally and personally, I turned out very well. We had nannies when I was very young, and I have fond memories of my teachers at daycare and afterschool programs. My mom put a lot of time and energy into making sure she found great care providers for me and my brother.

I'm not sure how we created this notion that mom is ALWAYS the best thing for baby. Mom can be. Especially if she wants to be. If she doesn't want to be or need to be, and if there is a caring professional who is doing what she/he loves, then Mom will have plenty of hours nights and weekends to be Mom to her hearts' content. And baby will thrive.

I appreciate that my mom showed me that she could have a satisfying, meaningful, respected career and still be an amazing mother. I'm trying to do the same for my son and daughter, although in my case I'm hoping to find a way to do it part-time (because I'm feeling like I'll miss out if they grow up so fast, not because I'm sure I'm critical in every waking moment of their lives).

I wish you good luck finding a situation that works for you, that you love. I hope you can choose what you want out of passion rather than guilt. And of course, if it's not working out, you can always change it up again... Best wishes!

Wow thanks for insulting my life long career!!!LOL!!!! It is like anything there's good and bad. You will experience this when your child starts school. The difference is you can do your research and find a great daycare for your child now, once they start school you will have less of a say who their teacher will be. I worked in a center for 5 years before I started a home daycare. In a center they will be moved into different rooms as they get older. Staff may change often. At a home daycare they will always have the same provider and will form an incredible bond. I still have children that have graduated college that come back to see me. Since I only cared for 5 children I was able to work individually with each child each day. On days the majority of the kids had winter colds (it will happen) we would pull out our cots and blankets and have an easy day. I was able to plan meals around their dislikes and likes. Each childs birthday was celebrated with a party and every year Santa came to visit. Doesn't sound so bad to me!
I closed my daycare last January after 20 years to care for family members and I did not realize how much apart of my life it really was. When I had to close my daycare the parents cried along with me. If it wasn't for some of these parents I don't know how I would have made it through this year. They were my rock to lean on during a very diffcult time. Your daycare provider does not have to be a stranger they can become part of your family. There are wonderful daycare providers out there. You say you do not need to work but from the sounds of it you do. You need to be happy to provide the best care for your child. You will have a great realationship with your child either way. Take your time and find what works for your family. Best of Luck.

I think Nancy Grace and miss Mallory need to tea time with each other, as they only see one side of things - the negative, entitled side.
If you can work but don't need to...sanity! It's a great choice to make.
I guess I've had 'strangers' 'raise' my daughter when I went back to work!
Daycare/school - when you get some resources to check out the ones that fit your needs (schedules, menus, hours) you and your daughter will be fine. It's great that she is 2 and you can start incorporating a school-like schedule. That way when she's in kindergarten, you won't cry like a baby (although I still will next year!)
My daughter's 'strangers' are teaching her Spanish, the religions of the world, and how to communicate with children from infants to elementary. The horror!
Not to mention she talks about her teachers everyday, because they love and take care of her :)

OK I have a commit on both sides of the fence, I am a daycare provider, and I have a great facility, I house military children while parents are deployed. I prepare children for kindergarten and more, however not all daycare's are loving and safe. As a mother of 27 years and a daycare provider I think it is very selfish for you to even think about working full time when you don't have to. Our children are small for a short time, and time missed with them you can't get back. I think that mom's who work who don't have to need to ask themselves why they had children, because in my experience moms who do use daycare for work, will drop their children off just to go to the store or run arrands I had 3 children and I never left them with anyone but their dad, I took them to Dr. appointments, shopping where ever I had to go. And I do the same with my daycare kids, not Dr. appointments but to the store, post office, I take them but these are things their moms will drop them off with me so they can go do. I was a SAHM and I took that job serriously and it was a job I was proud of. When I did need to go to work when my husband retired from the Navy I opened up a daycare, so I could work and be there for my family at the same time. I know I got off on a spree, before any daycare ask the right questions, look around, watch the other children, any red flags leave, Hope this helps, and sorry about the lenght. J.

I worked in day care for 5 years off and on when I was in college. I LOVED all my babies very much and formed special bonds with them. Here are the problems I see with day care:

1. high turn over rate with staff because it's a TOUGH job for little money.
2. your child will be sick more often
3. someone else will be getting the best part of your child's day
4. someone else will be responsible for a large portion of her training in basic manners, behavior, discipline, etc...

Right now we are squeezing our budget TIGHTLY so I can stay home. I guess we always want the opposite of what we have. You are lucky to have the choice.

What about an at home nanny? If you were a little kid, your kid, what would you want? Even the best nanny or daycare will not love your kid like you or hubby. Thats fine for a small amt of time for me, but not daily all day. For us, 8 hours whiz by. For kids, not at all.

I had an answer typed and had to leave it and come back - this subject gets people heated!

You've gotten some wonderful advise on what to look for in a daycare, I won't repeat those.

In my book a happy mom = a good mom. If working makes you a happier more fulfilled mom then you should work. My mom was a SAHM because she had a disability and couldn't work. I knew she wasn't happy growing up, I would have loved to go to daycare because she would have been happier working.

And for those who say that putting your kids in daycare means you're allowing others to raise them - that's a load of hooey. I raise my kids, I teach them values & life lessons. Daycare taught them socialization, kept them safe, and got them ready for school - it didn't RAISE them! My kids went to several daycares from the time they were 3 months old (we moved for work several times) and they are happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids with large circles of friends who are able to adapt well to pretty much any environment - I credit daycare with that.

Don't let fear paralyze you and other moms bully you; do your research, search your heart, and do what's best for your family.

Okay so I started to read the other posts and decided I wasn't going to agree with many of them so I'll just post my thoughts realizing everyone has their own opinion.

Personally I LOVE our daycare and so does my 5 year old DD..so far so good with my 11 month old DS. DD started there when she was six months old. If you can find a place that is structured in their lesson plans and has caring staff it'll all be good. We've called daycare "school" from the beginning because really that's what it is. When she starts all day kindergarten next year it will be no different to her than the norm and she is beyond ready when it comes to colors, numbers, shapes, writing etc. Plus the socialization she has with other children is so important. In comparison to my friend's child who is home with mom all the time my daughter is leaps and bounds ahead in just about everything. I owe it all to our daycare I can honeslty say if I had been a SAHM she wouldn't be at the level she is today.

I thought on in-home daycare...we actaully started DD in one at the beginning, but I found there are too many distractions (lunch, laundry, phone calls). With a structured daycare the teachers/caregivers don't have all those distractions. They are there specifically to care for and teach your children. Not make lunch or do laundry. Plus, if the in-home caregiver gets sick at the last minute you're stuck. It just wasn't for us.

We can't shelter our childeren from the big bad world forever no matter how much we want to. Eventually they have to figure it all out and become the people they are meant to be. I think the sooner the better...your child will be better for it. Then the time you do spend together is that much more sweeter.

Good luck!

I know my response will not be popular but I want to share some advice from a mother of 4 kids and the youngest being 12 now. I have been home now 13 years and it was very hard on me. I loved working. It took me many years to go from working mom to SAHM. I still struggle sometimes with boredom and loneliness but I have learned to find satisfaction and enjoyment through my family. I look back now at those years at work and sending my kids to daycare and wonder how I ever did that. I am old fashioned. Never thought that would happen. Having older kids, I see a lot of screwed up kids out there and their circumstances and it makes me sad. A lot of these kids are jealous of my relationship with my kids. And recently I have started to see how much my kids are thankful for me being here. It is not easy being a kid anymore. I would not want to go back to being a kid in these generations. Sympathy and empathy are missing in these generations. There is a lot of selfishness out there. I know everyone's circumstances are different. I can tell you my kids have immune problems that I know stem from the antibiotics they were put on when they were little and in daycare. So be careful with antibiotics if you decide on a daycare setting. Have you considered praying about this? Maybe there is a better option for you that you haven't considered? Forgive me if I sound critical. I don't mean to be. I am not in your shoes. But I may have already been down that same road. And we all have our own path we need to take.

Daycares can be great or terrible. You really have to do your research so that you find a good, loving one for your child. If your child was an infant, then I would say don't work since you don't have to. But it seems like she's 2 years old which is a great time for her to start daycare b/c she doesn't need as much one on one attention and is ready to start socializing! I would say take the job if you love it and put a LOT of effort into checking out different daycare centers, interviewing the teachers, looking at the kids (do they look happy to be there? this is a big clue). You and your child will be fine. My son started daycare when he was 6 months old (not my choice; i had to work) and he did not do well in the first place we tried. We gave it a month before we realized the teachers were just doing stuff robotically and not really emotionally invested in the kids. We then did more thorough research and found a GREAT daycare that he goes to to this day (he's now 18 months old) and he absolutely loves it. It's gotten to the point where I just posted a question about whether its normal for toddlers to ignore their parents when they come pick them up b/c he's having so much fun and doesn't want to leave! (btw, it is normal it seems!). And don't worry, after 2 min of ignoring us, he comes running over wiht a big smile and hug and he's inseperable from us at home so he doesn't have any attachment issues :)

1st - please don't let the few bad apple answers I read (did not read all of the answers...) make you feel bad. If being a SAHM is not working for you on a personal level then you should go back to work, and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY or let any post on here make you feel that way. We are all different with different needs and what was right for one of us may not be for another.

2nd - you got some really great advice about what to look for in a day care. I am starting to look for a pre-school for my daughter and using the same objectives. I would let you boss know what is going on and make sure that he understands that you may need to miss work while doing random checks on the day care.

Good luck!

I have had three kids in daycare (different daycares due to moves, etc) and worked out of necessity for a while; then last year because of an elective thing I was pursuing. To be honest, only one of the daycares (from my hometown in Toledo) was totally awesome and I placed every confidence in it. The employees, I felt, truly loved the children. It wasn't a fancy daycare, but the teachers in this CDC (Child Development Center) made everything. Here are some tips about daycare searching and choosing that I found helpful, and some things about the CDC that I loved.

1. Security card swipe to open doors. You couldn't get in unless they buzzed you or you had your ID card. I feel much more comfortable with the extra security, even though the preschool I now use doesn't have it.
2. The staff wanted you to turn your car off while you dropping off and picking up your child; it was a sign they cared for you child's safety and not getting car stolen!
3. Make sure everyone has had a background check.
4. Ask about teachers' education/child care background.
5. What is the staff turnover rate? The longer teachers stay, usually the better. I feel much more comfortable paying a more 'tuition' for quality staff who are happy with their job and who want to stick around. The staff is way more important than a fancy building.
6. Students (from closeby universities) I see as a good thing. They help, are enthusiastic, and friendly.
7. What is snack/feeding schedule? Make sure you agree with snacks and drinks offered. Will you have to provide lunch, etc?
8. Do they enforce illness policy and what cleaning schedules are followed?
9. What ratio of kids to teachers do they hold? Infants 1:3, etc.
10. Do they sent your child's col artwork home or make a portfolio, so that you know your child is doing interesting and interactive activities?
11. Get references! Call other moms who have their kids at places and see what they have liked and not liked.
12. How long has the center been licensed, and what exactly is it licensed for?

I LOVED my original CDC in Toledo. The next two I have had my kids in seem ok, but the major difference is in how I felt the staff felt about my kids. The staff at CDC loved my kids and it showed.

Good luck. I hope you find a day care that meets your needs and your child's needs. I have zero child development experience and asked a LOT of questions.

By the way, Julie L:

Your post was not both sides of the fence. It was one-sided, judgemental and mean.

Before judging others' parenting qualifications like you did, maybe you should consider your own qualifications to run a day care. Your grammar and spelling, not to mention tact, is worse than my first-grader's (who spent her first years in day care).

We all have a right to our opinion, and you posted yours. However, calling someone selfish and questioning their right to parent is downright mean.

Some daycare centers are really terrible, but some are fantastic! You just need to do a lot of research and ask for a bunch of referrals to find the right fit. I definitely think that if you want to go the daycare route, you will be able to find one that works for you.

I also think you need to figure out if daycare is going to be OK with YOU. I know you said that you love to work and the SAHM idea isn't your cup of tea. You have been able to have your cake and eat it too! You work, but your daughter is home with either you or hubby. I can say this to you because I am in a very similar situation. I work FT from home, we have a babysitter come in. So I work, but my kiddos are down the hall all day, I know every single thing that goes on during the day. For me, I think it would cause too much anxiety to send my kiddos to daycare. Trust me, I'm not bashing daycare at all...I'm being realistic with what I can handle, and I don't think I could handle them being in the care of someone else, w/o me being around, when they are this young. For me - 3, 3.5 is a good age for preschool. For my son, to start to interact with other people more often and not always have me around. And for mommy...to slowly learn to let go a bit :-)

I'm not trying to hijack your post to talk about me the whole time!!! I just wanted to offer the perspective from the mommy side - can YOU handle it.

Best of luck in your decision.

You've got a lot of varied responses and you need to do what is best for your family. How do you think your daughter will respond? You could try it and see how she does. Some kids do great in daycare while others don't. And yes some daycares are horrible which is one of the reasons I stay home. Take a look at http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/index.htm
As for my other reason to stay home, my own mother went back to work when I was in elementary school. If I was sick it was get up and go to school, if there was an event at school she could never come, after school I came home to an empty house at age 9, all of this due to my mother working. I felt abandoned and that my mother always chose work over me and I vowed to never let my own children feel that way. And she didn't need to work she wanted to work. Think about how this decision will impact your entire family.

It completely depends on the daycare or preschool you use. I've been in MANY daycare centers and preschools. I used to be a test data collector for a preschool curriculum company every spring and fall when I was a SAHM, and I visited a lot of them. I also have two young children who have attended a 1/2 day church preschool and now are in full-time care. One attends a public school prek and the other goes to a YWCA preschool that is highly rated and where we've been very happy.

To be perfectly honest, since you are financially able, you have many more choices in care. You can shop around a little bit. I'm not saying less-expensive centers or schools are lacking, because often they're not, but you'll just have more options since you aren't locked into being under a certain amount.

Look for NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) accreditation. It is not easy to receive or hold onto -and they really do regular checks and audits. I've seen several schools get it and lose it if they don't keep up their standards. I've also seen great schools that aren't NAEYC accredited, but it's a good guideline.

Speak to the teachers and administration regarding discipline procedures; what ages they start going on field trips; drop off and pick up policy and how entrance is gained to the center; outdoor time and curriculum. Drop in unexpectedly and look around. Are the classrooms clean? Do you observe any dangerous situations? Are children engaged? Are there enough adults in each classroom? How do they handle things when it's time to potty train? What is their food policy? How secure is the playground area? What are their requirements for immunization? Do NOT send your kid to a school that doesn't require all children to be immunized. Period. What is their sick policy? Lice policy? Do they ever show television or DVDs? Any decent school will have policies and hand outs on this information.

I have been in centers that reeked of pee and had one lazy old woman rocking by herself in a chair while 7 infants were strapped into their carseats with bottles propped up for them when several of them were far too young to even grasp a bottle. You want to look around for this kind of thing even if your child is beyond that age.

Good luck -ultimately you have to narrow down your choices and see who has availability and go from there. It's not unusual for people to change preschools a few times before finding the one they really like, but we've been very lucky with ours!

If you have Bright Horizons near you -check them out. They are FANTASTIC! I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but you would probably be very happy there.

****And don't let anyone make you feel guilty. We're not all wired to stay at home day after freaking day! You're no less of a mother for enjoying your work. I stayed at home for 4 years and it was REALLY time to go back to work! Just because some aren't bright enough to find a Mom's Morning Out program for a half day per week doesn't mean all daycares or preschools are terrible. There are many fine ones where children thrive and excel.

Sorry haven't read what was written, quite a bit to go through.

Here's what I think.... It's ok to go to work even if you don't have to. That extra money can be put in to a savings for the kids or pay for vacations and times together or just to do things you would want to do. If it makes you happy and makes you be a better mom even if it means leaving them at a day care than fine. It's great for kids to get out and be independent of mom and dad for awhile, go play with other kids and learn to be social. I don't know why moms have to be doused with the guilt of wanting to go back to work. I thought we lived in a equal society. It should be just a guilty for a dad. For whatever reason it's us moms that are looked down on for staying at home and not bringing in an income, for going to work and dropping them off at a day care, or for breastfeeding because it might have to happen out in public one time, or not breastfeeding and *gasp* feeding them formula, or many other things.. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel good about yourself.. You will spend time with your children and be a much better mom for it. Your children will have fun playing with other children and even other adults and learn to be independent. Plus they a lot of times come home with some very great little crafty things they made while they were gone and I think it's just terribly cute.

As for the daycare, research, go visit, interview do everything you can so that you can feel secure about leaving your children there. The daycare I have my children at had a time that they called schooling in and it was very helpful for both me and my girls. It takes at most 2 weeks or so.. The first couple of day you hang out there with you children for a few hours.. play there with them.. after a few days of that they would have me say goodbye for like an hour or so and come back.. after a few days of that they would try to put them down for a nap.. the first day I would help put them down for a nap and the after that I would say good bye and they would try to put them down for a nap without me. by the end of the 2 weeks they would be there for a few hours with me just dropping them off. It takes time and I don't know if all day cares would offer such a thing.. but I thought it was great.. then I got a good idea of how things worked there, what their day would be like, a feel for the workers and the other kids.. I got to learn the other kids names. really nice.

Daycare Success Story: I grew up in day care - a large commercial day care chain that still exists today. I am a successful attorney, happy with a wonderful husband and 3 amazing sons. I am still in contact with 2 of my teachers from daycare - they ended up becoming 2 of my mom's best friends and they (and their children and grandchildren) have become close family friends of ours. It takes a village...

I started reading some of the responses but some get me so upset. So I had to stop.

I am a full time working mom and I am fortunate enough to have my mom & MIL watch my children. BUT, I have had to use daycare and had no problems with it. Yes, its tough at first until your child gets adjusted. But there a lot of day cares out there with great loving people who do care for your children.

Now, here comes my true experience. My mom had a daycare my entire life until I turned 17. So yes, I have an in home daycare inside look on things. And it just so happens that my husbands mom also had a daycare for quite some years before she retired that I was exposed to. Both my mom and my MIL treated their daycare kids with lots of love and respect. In fact one of the daycare families became really great friends to our family. Their youngest used to say her name hyphenated with our last name. It was cute. She is now a senior in high school and I consider her to be my lil' sis now. She watches my kids, plays with my kids and my kids just love her! And my MIL still has this set of daycare kids that are now in highschool & junior high come once or twice during the summer to hang out with my kids and any other cousins that are over. (MIL watches all her grandchildren) It really is about finding the daycare that your comfortable with, and then from there a bond will grow. I think motherly instincts kick in and you just get a good feel for the daycare. My SIL's daycare provider just loves her kids. Her son has sleepovers between their houses with they daycare providers son. Her daycare provider also took her youngest daughter to the store on her birthday and let her pick out a present. She takes them on field trips in the summer to water parks, zoo and so on, if parents let their child go.

If you enjoy working, then work. Don't let others make you feel bad about working. I also work full time and enjoy working. I always tell people its not about the quantity of time but the quality of the time you are with them.

You've gotten a ton of answers but I'll chime in as I'm in a similar situation. I actually don't love my job but am paid so well it's hard to give up. And - I wasn't cut out to stay at home when my kids were really small. But I don't HAVE to work either (though sometimes I question what the definition is as people w/ more money than us have 2 working parents and others we know live in a small apt but the mom stays home). I won't debate whether daycare is good or bad but it does strike me as inconvenient at times. We've always had a nanny and I'm SO glad. It makes my life much easier. No struggles in the morning etc. Daycare strikes me as hard bc kids are unpredictable. Maybe they don't feel well in the morning and then all of a sudden you have to stay home for the day or you have to force them to go which seems tough on a young kid. And no making lunches every morning, rushing breakfast etc. Our nanny is fantastic and just better with really young kids than me. She actually likes to play make-believe games vs I find it to be torture. We also have sent our kids to part time preschool for the socialization, more teaching etc. And while the kids are in school, the nanny grocery shops for me, cleans up, does a bit of cooking etc. That means when I'm home, I can focus on the kids more.

Finally - in terms of working or not, I've been guilt striken for years. There's no easy answer. I'm probably only going to work another year though as I've found the kids need me more as they get older and I also enjoy the older ages more. Older kids have more complicated needs. But I know plenty of people raised by FT working mothers who are FINE or "better off" than those who had mothers at home. A very good book is The Feminine Mistake. I believe it's there that it's pointed out that the idea of a dedicated stay at home mom only originated around World War II. Previously, mothers either were working on the farm or were very wealthy and guess what - used nannies! Daycare, nannies etc provide an extended family as well as the children see other adults caring about them.

oh - forgot to add that part of the reason I've continued to work is to be able to help our kids financially someday if needed. I think kids will appreciate having college completely paid for and we also will be able to help them have more choices how they raise their own kids or not have to struggle. It may be worth the trade off to them someday.

I never did the daycare thing because I dont have a degree that lets me make enough to pay for daycare so it was cheaper for me to stay at home. But that did not mean that I didn't put my daughter in drop in daycare for a day out occasionally.
That being said, I am a firm believer in if mommy is happy the whole house is happy. I have tons of friends who do work full time and have their kidos in daycare. Their kids are well adjusted and feel loved. Not to mention they have really good social skills and are easy going. They still hit all their milestones, walking talking, learning ect. I am sure there are some bad daycares out there, but there are some wonderful ones too. Several of my friends used a smaller in home child care. They were mommies with older kids in collage or grandmas who needed a baby fix. Not to mention a lot of people go into that work because they like kids. I took care of a baby for awhile in my home and still work MOPS because I love babies so much. The main thing is to check out each place and ask tons of questions. Try not to fall into the paranoia that everyone is out to hurt your kids. I still think there are more good people out there than bad. Don't let anyone guilt or scare you into a decision. Good luck.

I haven't read any other post yet, but I LOVE my day care, it's smal, and I know the ladies there, I used to go to that day care when I was a child, still some of the same staff, kids learn alot there, and it helps them be more social, and gets them ready for school.

I put my youngest in daycare when family watching him no longer was practical. He loved it, I loved it, it was a great experience!

Research all the local daycares you are interested in. Price doesn't necessarily equal quality (we ended up going with one of the least expensive ones, but it was also government subsidized, which meant they had to follow more regulations). Look for one with a good teacher-student ratio (10 or 15 kids per adult at 3 years old) and a fairly structured day. Even if kids are dropped off at different times (some earlier and others later), story time, outside time, play time, nap time, and meals should be at about the same time every day. Also look for a place that has some learning involved - story time is a MUST, also number and letter games and stuff. But it should be as games, not as drill or flashcards or anything. Also look for a place that only uses t.v/movies as a rare treat (once a week or less).

Visit the places before you sign up with one, and watch how the teacher interacts with the kids. You want a place where it is the same teacher pretty much each day, and also with a low turnover (it's hard for kids to adjust to a new teacher every 3 months!) They should have an open door, you can visit whenever, policy once your child is enrolled, as well. If you feel anything not right about the place when you go in, then keep looking.

It's true that there are some horrible child care situations out there. But there are also a LOT of good ones, that can give your daughter social interaction and a chance to make friends and gain confidence away from mom and dad.

Momofone, daycare does not need to be a terrible place. One day, you WILL drop her off (or have a bus come get her) and take her to a place you don't know and a teacher you have likely not met ahead of time, unless you plan to homeschool. Public schools don't typically have a meet the teacher event before kindy!
First, you need to determine what type of daycare you might want to use. I preferred to use in-home daycare providers rather than a daycare center. My kids were cared for by providers who were current moms, had fun toys and there were kids their age to play with. They had friends and lots of attention. If I had been a stay at home mom, they would not have had that socialization - and my oldest was in daycare every Mon-Fri, year round, from 8 weeks til kindergarten. She was always the type of kid who craved the company of other kids and would NOT have enjoyed just being at home with mommy all day.
Kids in daycare know who their parents are and are not being "raised" by the providers just as they are not being raised by their teachers in school.
It's all about transitions. It's less than 3 years til I drop my daughter at the strangest place of all and drive away - COLLEGE.
Tour some daycare centers and in-home provider's facilities, and see if you like what you see. If you only have ideas you've imagined about daycare and no real experience, go and see for yourself. If you don't have to work and aren't comfortable leaving your daughter with a daycare provider of any type, then don't do it but there is nothing wrong with going to work and making sure that when you're getting ready for those college visits, you don't fall on the floor when you hear how much the tuition is!

Day care is not all bad. When my two oldest were young they had a private sitter. They watched TV all day. When we moved, they went to a daycare. OMG, their little brains soaked up so much. They both started school that year also, but their social skills bloomed so much faster than I thought they would.

When my 3rd was born he went to daycare. For 18 months he always seemed to have a cold. I had my 4th and brought in a nanny. Again, not as much stimulation as I wanted. This past January I put the younger 2 (ages 3 & 2) in a different daycare and it has been amazing for them. (They are now 4 & 3). My 3 year old is in a Pre-School program and my 4 year old is in the Pre-K program offered by the day care. No illnesses because this daycare seems to disinfect more or clean better.

Overall, if you do go with a daycare - make plenty of drop in visits. Just stop by to make sure everything is ok. Your child doesn't need to know that you were there, but just check it out. Talk to the administrator and if they don't have a reference list, stay in the parking lot and talk to the parents coming and going.

They say it takes a village........ and remember, only you can make the right decision for you.

HI Mama,
Most daycares are not fabulous. BUT there are really great ones out there. My advice is to go look at a lot of them, have a list of questions, and see them when they are in operation so you can witness the dynamic between the kids in care and the provider. Think about what your expectations for care are. Do you want a large care home or small...? Many people will say small because they think that their child will get more attention and quality care. I have not necessarily found this to be true. In large daycare, there is usually an assistant and that can make a world of difference in the quality of care and the dependability of the provider. In a good daycare, they will have activities that stimulate small and large motor skills, creative thinking, positive behavior reinforcement, problem solving, music, dance, art, stories, outside play, a schedule for the day, nutritious snacks and meals etc... In a lousy one, the kids will get plopped in front of the TV, served mac and cheese every day and time outs.

Since you said you are were a SAHM for 2 years, I'm assuming that your daughter is over 2. Think of this as a great opportunity for her growth too. At this age many children are craving social contact and interaction with other kids, especially their same aged peers.There can be great benefit to that! And a gentle step away from you and Dad before going on to preschool or kindergarten.

So, in answer to your question, yes you're being paranoid. And you absolutely should be. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to work and putting your child in care, and no one wants their child in care that causes them to worry all day that they are at work. I'm certain you can find a daycare that will benefit your daughter and ease your worries about leaving her there.

If you'd like more advice about what to look for, feel free to message me privately. I'd be happy to help. As a Mom who has been on both sides of this, I know how frightening it can be, and I also know what a great experience it can be too.

Good luck!

Daycare is not awful. There are plenty of mamas out here on Mamapedia that are child care professionals who can defend themselves on this point.

Just like every other profession, there are some people who are great at their job and perform it with a lot of care and sound judgment and of course there are those who not not have the skills and passion necessary and probably need to find a new job.

PS -- Dear mamas whose constant refrain is: "Why did you even have children if you plan to let someone else raise them?"...This is hurtful and unecessary. And to you I say, "If you can't say anything nice, please do not say anything at all.

Love, Me.

I would say if you don't have to work then don't do it. By putting your daughter in daycare full time she is now receiving way too much influence from outsiders. My kids were in daycare the first 7 years of their life. They were actually with me 3 hours out of the day vs the 10 hours at daycare.

You also have to consider if it is cost effective. It was costing me $10,000 a year and that was on the cheap end. After considering daycare, gas, dry cleaning, car maintenance, lunches etc. I was spending $20,000 a year just to work. That's when I decided to stay home.

Like I said, if you don't need too then don't do it. There are many good daycare as well many bad ones. You will want to do many unannounced visits to know for sure what type of daycare your child is at. I did my research and put mine in what was rated great and ended up being a nightmare ending w/ a citation being served to the daycare.

Now saying all of that...I would much rather put my kids in daycare at your daughter's age then be home with them once they are teenagers.

On another note, if you decide to stay home, maybe your employer would rather keep you with your current schedule than lose you - you never know :)

I think daycare in a facility is awesome!! My daughter learned so much while there. I NEVER thought I would put my kid in daycare but being a stay at home mom is not for me either. You will get used to it after about two weeks. It does take time - and it will upset you. But one of the best things you can do for your children is be happy. And if that means working - so be it.

Also, I wouldn't trust a home based daycare. In a facility, there are lots of eyes and ears. In home-based, you never know who is coming and going or that a weird uncle has moved in. It's worth the money to go to a facility.

And check a few out - one will call to you. Also, your daughter is not 8 weeks old - she is two. She will have so much fun with the other kids.

If you are unsure about the daycare option, why don't you consider a nanny? Or, what about a nanny share? OR, why don't you check out some family daycare centers? They are normally smaller in numbers and can be a very wonderful, caring environment.

Something to think about... Your 2 year old is getting to the preschool age and may benefit from the socialization of a preschool. Just a thought...

Good luck to you. You will make the best decision for your child. I'm sure of that...

I can give you a bit of input from two sides. When my son was small, we had him in a home based day care. I know about the guilt! Especially when I noticed things like dirty floors and diaper rashes....Now my son is in elementary school and I teach preschool in a day care. To be truthful, I spend more quality time with y class during the day than I do when I am home with my own son. We don't ever watch TV or movies, we physically attend to them while they play, and we do projects based on a state supported curriculum. Day care kids from a quality place are better ready for school, because they know how o socialize and accept authority. They will also be better ready to handle peers and make friendships. Also, day cares which are licensed are subject to regular and unplanned inspections, so you know they should be clean and safe. You would have to deal with more sicknesses, especially in the first year, and you would have to worry about stuff like another kid biting yours. I look at it this way, though: It is also good practice for YOU, in dealing with institutions and how they handle your kid in certain situations.

There is nothing wrong with working when you don't have to. Not all husbands live forever, or stay, and we have to be ready to take care of our kids if the unthinkable happens.

As with almost anything else, the unhappy and disgruntled people are going to complain (a lot of the time with good reason). So you always hear about the "bad stuff", which does happen. But you don't hear from the hundreds of thousands of people who have had fantastic experiences with daycare. If you do your homework and research good facilities, chances are you and your daughter will be perfectly happy with daycare. I put my kids into pre-school at 2yrs old. It wasn't "daycare", but the did have a before and after-school program for parents that worked. I didn't HAVE to put them into pre-school, I was a SAHM, but I'm so happy I did. They absolutely LOVED it, LOVED their teachers, made some wonderful friends and basically had a day-long playdate everyday, plus they learned academic concepts as part of playing. The daycare/no daycare debate will continue with people citing the pros and cons, but ultimately, it's your choice. Start looking into daycares and if you find one you love, go for it. If you are STILL uncomfortable after checking out several and just can't find one you like, then go ahead and stay home with your little girl. BTW, I just recently read an article that referred to a study which said kids in daycare get sick more than kids who stay home during the early years, but then later during school years, the daycare kids were more healthy because they'd built up their immune systems in daycare and the formerly at-home kids keep getting sick...the point of the article was: would you rather have your young child miss "daycare" or have your school age child miss school? Obviously, missing school is worse than missing "daycare" from an educational standpoint. It was an interesting article. Good luck with your decision!

Coming from a Early Childhood Educator background I would highly recommend a nanny or an in-home daycare over ANY center! No matter how good the center is it will still not be as good as an in-home or a nanny.
Centers pay of their staff at or barely above minimum wage meanings that you tend to get a lot of high school & college aged workers which in turns means a high turnover rate. There is a lack of caring and more a feeling of making money.
With a nanny or an in-home there is more of a second/third parent feeling! Plus the personalized attention is priceless. A nanny is nice because they come to you which means you avoid that feeling of lugging them to daycare. In-homes are nice because they get a nurturing environment and social interaction. I personally would only choose one of these two options!

Your fears are justified because realistially horrible things can happen in daycares (just as horrible things happen in some homes); however, not all daycares are bad. My daughter was at an inhome daycare from 8 weeks until 3.5 years and had wonderful care by a provider that loves her. She is now in a daycare/preschool and it too is fabulous. She is learning alot and they really are wonderful w/ the kids.

One idea maybe that you can put her in daycare part-time and increase your hours but still work some nights/weekends when she would be in the care of your hubby.

Try it. Find a good daycare and give it a try. See how you do and how she does. If it doesn't work, then you can ask to go PT again or resign (as you do have options). Research the options for nannies and day care centers. I choose a day care center for my kids and love it. It's Primrose - not sure if they have those in OH. Make your list of questions to ask. Then listen to the answers but also your gut. There will be kids with runny noses and some will be crying - expect that. Talk to the director and the teachers - spend some time there and go with your gut. I have my tough days where I just want to be home with them... and then have others when I really am thankful I have a balanced life of work and family. There is no right answer, just what is right for you at each stage... I say give it a try for at least 6 mos... Good luck!

As a mom and family daycare provider I can see both sides of how you feel. I too wanted to stay home with my daughter but I really needed more than that. That is okay! For the SAHM that pushed that you should stay home--they ignored the fact that your desires concerning work were different from theirs. Many (not all) SAHM who are very set in their decision to stay home full time with no other work outside the home would honestly tell you they did not like where they worked before. Those that enjoyed their jobs often feel conflicted--its normal.

I would try to find a in home daycare where you get great referrals from former and current parents that have children in that daycare. Nothing against child care centers but turnover is way higher and that makes a difference in the emotional investment the workers have with the children.

Are there times when it would be easier for me to be alone with my daughter? Sure--but overall the socialization she gets (and being a real introvert she need it) completely makes up for it! She has had to learn to deal with other children and understand that in life her needs will not always come before everyone else's. Children in our grandparents and great grand parents generation did not have the luxury of being spaced years and years apart to optimize their one on one attention. They had to learn early on to fend for themselves more--important skills in my opinion. I honestly enjoy my daughter more around other children --she plays more and interacts more. She'd be content to have books read to her all day long otherwise. Good luck--and if you don't want to go full time then maybe keep your current arrangement and try to find other fulfilling part time work. I teach classes to other providers every once and awhile --good money and really fulfilling!

Just do your homework. Interview the day care, see if you can talk to some of the parents who have kids there and talk to some of the workers there. My sister worked at a day care and although she loved the kids and did a great job with them, the day care was horrible and would make workers come in if they were sick! (this was a state run day care). It seems that smaller day cares with less children might be a better way to go- but you still have to do your homework. I would do interviews and talk with these people a number of times, not just once. I would take my child there to see how she reacts to the teachers and the other children around her.
If you have any doubts or second thoughts about a day care, I would find another one. There are some really great ones out there, and there are also some really lousy ones also. Make sure you know what is in your contract too if you need/want to pull her out early and what is taught in the day care and the discipline procedures and their sick policies.
Good luck and congrats on the job!
~C.

I've seen some bad ones, but I didn't use them! We've been blessed to be able to get into university childcare--so it's a bunch of really wonderful early-education majors who seem thrilled to hang out with the kids. My son has thrived in daycare--although he only goes 15hrs/week. He comes home knowing things that I would honestly never think to teach him and has learned skills that I probably wouldn't have thought he could do by himself (who knew that by 3 they should dress themselves? I probably would have dressed him till he was 10!). He's also a little too nice and I think it's been helpful to interact with his peers to learn how to stand up for himself more. My advice would be to look at as many centers as you can and to put yourself on the wait list--and then "pop" in with forms or questions when they don't expect you. When I've done that I've run into the teachers tickling my son and giving him piggybacks, in other words it's made me really happy at the care he was getting. And then to let her go part time and see how you are all handling it. Then you can decide how everyone is adjusting and if your heart is in working full time. I LOVE being able to have a flexible schedule and "tag team" parenting--could you negotiate with your boss?

Can you work during the day only 2 or 3 days a week and do the other the same as you are doing now? Not only may a full week away from your daughter during the day be tough and an adjustment for her, you will probably find it is tough for you too (and maybe your husband too). Only part of the week may be a good balance if you are able to do that. Of course, since you don't need the money, you could always give something a try and change your mind if it doesn't work out.
Also, maybe you could try to find a daycare that someone you know goes to or recommends so you don't feel you are just dropping her at a strange place. I found my daycare through a referral from a friend, so knowing how happy they were there made it much easier.
I think you will get the feeling of whether you will be comfortable with a daycare when you visit there as well. Always make sure you are allowed to pop in and visit at any time, I did this before my children even started there too.
The daycare my children have gone to is an in-home daycare and they have become like family. The lady who runs it treats the kids like they are her own children and grandchildren. She may not focus on teaching their ABCs and all that but the way she loves them is something I could not have found anywhere else. That said, I still only send them 3 days a week, because my husband and I are each able to be home 1 other day a week and I wanted them to get more days at home than gone if possible.
Maybe your boss would be willing to give you a little more time before you start a new schedule also so you can really take your time and find a good fit, especially since you are not in a rush to get the money part of it.
Good luck!

I put my kids in daycare when they were 6 mos old. I constantly suffer from mommy guilt. But feel better bc my daycare... A Goddard, is awesome. The staff is mostly all teacher qualified people who have worked there 5 yes plus. My parents help out and get them at 3 each day. So in reality they are there from about 8 to 3, which includes a 2 hr nap. They do far more activities than I would... Especially for my 2 yr old. The bad is they do get sick from October to April. For me it's been colds, but that still stinks.

I think you have to research and get referrals.I think it's healthy to work and have an outside job. But if u choose to sah, that's fine as well.

Have you looked into other options? Maybe finding someone to come into your home and watch your daughter? That way you can build a relationship with your daughter's caregiver in an environment you trust.

I think daycare and preschools are great for kids. I worked part-time for 4 years but never took my kids out of daycare, they just didn't go for as long a day. I believe daycare is good for kids because it teaches them social skills and builds independence. And kids learn so much, it's amazing. When I was looking for child care for my kids, I visited a number of places and chose the one I liked the best and followed my gut. You can also check the centers record with the licensing agency in your state. They all have their good points and negative points. Don't feel guilty. If working is what makes you happy by all means work. You have to care for yourself too. The happier you are, the healthier you will be and the happier your family will be. Just be prepared for seperation anxiety, yours and hers, for the first little bit. congratulations on the 'promotion'.

My cousin has an in home daycare and is absolutely a doll with the kids. My daughter loves her and sometimes doesn't want to leave, which my dad says is a good sign. She colors and plays with other kids and toys. I had another in home daycare but she seemed spacey and didn't seem like she'd pay attention to her. The bigger daycares want an arm and a leg plus there are so many kids to one person. One that I went to one of the women raised her voice at a little boy and kind-of grabbed his arm... It didn't hurt him but it made me go oh no. I didn't want my daughter grabbed or yelled at. I would never set up interviews. I'd go in during their business hours at random times so you can see what they are actually like and how they actually interact with the kids. After I got a daycare (even my cousin lol) I stop in at random times to check on her just to make sure nothing was going on. And if your paranoid (I kind of am) you can always check your child at home during bath time or something to make extra sure there is nothing going on, no bruises, etc. that don't seem to correspond to normal kid behavior (you know when you see them).

Don't do it. Daycare is ok, but there is no substitute for a real parent. You chose to be a parent, and that means a certain amount of sacrifice. Part-time is the best solution: you don't carry as much weight at work, so you can be more present to your family needs. Your needs are important, but so are the needs of the family unit. Which decision serves the need of the "whole" best? In case you want to know, I raised three daughters and worked many different part-time jobs over the years, but only began doing that when the youngest started first grade. You can never get the years back; when you miss part of their development, the moment is over. We also "raised" two great-niece/nephew for five years, and my own mother died when I was three and I was raised by a wonderful aunt and uncle; but I know what the difference is between biological and substitute parents. If it's brought on by death or catastrophic circumstances, that's one thing; but don't just choose it out of "boredom" or what you perceive as unappreciated and unrecognized hard work (which it is). Always remember that parenting and being a spouse are the most important jobs in the universe (when chosen), whether you can feel it or not. It takes a lot of work and dedication, and distracting ourselves with worldly cares and desires does not add to the quality of our lives on this planet. Good luck; I admire you for asking.

I didn't want to go back to work and leave my daughter in daycare but had too due to circumstances. Her daycare we chose isn't bad by any means. The ladies there are really nice & awesome with babies (my daughter was only 6 weeks when we started). The one thing I did learn - be adamant about what you want with them. What she eats/when she eats/etc. We had 2 cases of where they overfed my daughter in less than 2 months.....so my husband and I started writing on her sheets what time she is to be fed and no earlier. If you have a problem with anything dont be afraid to tell them. It's about making your child happy :)

I am a SAHM for the last 5 years (my kids turn 5 and 2 this winter). I am getting tired of it and am looking forward to going back in a year or so, hopefully part time. When my son turned 3 I started him in preschool in a daycare center with a really good preschool/pre-K program. He has learned so much in the last year and a half! His teacher last as well as being a great teacher was very loving positive. At the time I was too tired and distracted with a new baby to give him as much attention as I would have liked. It was an adjustment the first few months and he is only in half days (about 4 hours). They do art, singing, piano lessons, hands on science activities and are now doing more letters in pre-K. My son has definitely benefitted, especially in socializing with peers.

My 23 month old is not quite ready for preschool yet but by 2.5 or 3 I think she will be. I might hesitate to put a child in daycare who can't talk enough to tell you if there is a problem (you have to watch the behavior closely instead). I've seen studies that say children do benefit from high quality daycare. I would look around and check out the places you are considering but you don't have to let the stress make you crazy. I did read a book on what to look for in a preschool before visiting places. It was a library book so I don't recall the title. We only visited 2 (others we were interested in didn't have openings). I worked for child protective services before having kids so I have seen and heard about some horrors but I have not had concerns about my son's school. If there was a small issue I talked to the teacher and/or director and found a way to work things out.

Maybe you can find a nanny or babysitter for right now and spend some time looking for a good preschool for September or the summer (depending on your child's birthday).

You have a ton of responses... and I stay home with my kids because I can, and I want to. But, my SIL runs an in-home daycare (in northern/rural MN) and if I had to leave my kids, I would find someone like her. Her care is fantastic, she makes home cooked meals for her kids, has converted their backyard into an AMAZING playspace (not filled with plastic stuff, but really nice swings, climbing stuff, sandbox) and she works really really hard to provide a good caring environment for kids. I'm certain that there are other mom's out there who do similar things at their in-home daycare. Find someone like her :) Start by asking your other working Mom friends.

J.

I think it depends on the daycare. I am a SAHM, but battled cancer this past year. I have a daughter who is almost 5 and my son is 2 1/2. I was not able to pick up my kids for many months due to multiple surgeries and once I started chemo, I just was not physically able to keep up with my youngest, so I had to put him in full time daycare. It was really hard, but he did great! The daycare he was at was wonderful and he really had no problems there. He made some little friends and settled into the routine just fine. It was SO much harder on me than him! So, I don't think all daycares are horrible and I know that being a SAHM isn't for everyone, so do your homework, find the right place for your child and do what works best for your family. In the beginning, you'll want to be stopping in at different times during the day (surprise visits), so that you'll know exactly what's going on and not just what happens at "pick up time". Try to get recommendations from others so that you aren't going in somewhere blind. I really like being a SAHM, so I am glad that my little one didn't have to stay there long term (I'm cancer free now and my kids are back home with me), but he would have been fine either way. Good luck!

My advice as a working mom (teacher) is to create a list of questions and things you are looking for. Take that list and tour a half dozen or so different centers or homes. Google each one to find if any violations exist and what they were. You will know if it feels right. My daughter loves her daycare! Most days I play with her there for 20 min or so at pick-up time because she isn't ready to go home. On summer vacation she asks all the time whe she can go back. Granted I did my research and my little girl is in a wonderful place but she has never said anything negative about school. She gets Spanish and gymnastics once a weeks, art everyday in the classroom, a fun playground filled with kids her age, and really neat toys! Sometimes I wish I could go too!!!

i bawled my eyes out when my mom first told me she couldn't keep watchig my daughter because of your exact reason.....over time i grew accustomed to it..just keep in mind you're paying them to love your child, it doesnt' mean they actually will, they are there to supervise and tend to immediate needs and some education....probably wont be a day care you're 100% satisfied with...i never was, i was devistated at first

keep these few things in mind YOU employ them, if you have an issue, talk with them about it and WATCH THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD 9x out of 10 if a child doesn't want to be there or is just showing signs of "unusual attachment to mom and dad" besides the first ice breakers then that usually means somethings not right and mom and dad need to do an investigation, could be teacher, could be the director, or could be something minor that the child is having a hard time dealn with

There are both good and bad daycares. I have an aunt who does daycare and I would NEVER leave my children alone with her! I honestly don't know if she puts on that good of a show for the parents or if the parents just don't care (she is cheaper than any other daycare in the area.) She is TERRIBLE! When I go to visit, she NEVER checks on the kids. They have been outside for HOURS and nobody has looked out a window to make sure they are all still in the fence! (They live on a farm.) It is truly SCARY and I can't believe that nobody has ever gotten hurt! Not to mention, the tv is on 24/7. And she is NEVER in the daycare room with the kids! I've been there when parents pick up and the outside door enters to the daycare room. So they KNOW that she is never in there! And the whole house is always a HUGE mess! -ALWAYS-

But there are GOOD daycares! Here's what I would do:

*Make the interview DURING daycare hours so you can see how the person interacts with the children

*Note if the tv is on

*Ask LOTS of questions
-schedule
-how often tv is allowed
-curriculum?
-any field trips
-what kinds of food is served
-how many children/ages are in care
-"house" rules
-do they do projects
-ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF

I did daycare for 5 years and always offered to schedule interviews during the day so the parents could meet the other children and see what it was like during my actual day!

Good luck!

Hi Mom of One,

As a childcare expert who has worked with families as a day care provider in my home, a nanny, and a local childcare coordinator for the nation's largest au pair agency, I have to say that the bottom line is that each can be fabulous, great, good, bad, or ugly. Finding the right fit for your family is the key!

If you really want to work, explore all your options. Do you want her to go to a day care in home or a day care center? Do you want a nanny in your home or do you want a live-in situation? If you want a live-in situation, do you want someone who only speaks English, or someone bilingual who can educate your child about another culture? So many choices!

An option many people don't know much about is au pairs. Au Pairs are live-in nannies from another country. Many times they are more affordable than day care situations, and almost always more affordable than nannies. The best part is that you have flexible, affordable child care that can even cover date nights! They have extensive training with children and have passed background checks. They are young people age 18 - 26 who love being with children and want to experience American culture.

I recently teamed with Cultural Care, the nation's largest Au Pair agency, to help families like yours find alternative care for their children that is screened, trained, and affordable. Feel free to call me if you'd like to learn more about this option, or check out my website below.

Best wishes to you and your family! And Merry Christmas!

~P. G.
Portland Preschool Directory owner teams with Cultural Care to bring you flexible, affordable childcare!
http://PGowing.AuPairNews.com
http://www.PortlandPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.VancouverPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.MrsGowing.com

We put DD1 (infant at the time) in a regular "institutional" daycare when I first returned to work. The women were wonderful with her and she was never in danger with them. DD1 was able to socialize with other children her age and really learned a lot through structured reading,eating, singing, crafts.... We now have DD2. Our girls are with a home daycare provider that cares for our girls and one other little girl who is much older than ours. One thing we truly miss about the "institutional" daycare is the socialization with other kids. Unless you are an active SAHM and have plenty of playdates, your child may also be missing out on socialization with other kids her age.

Ultimately, I'm not sure what you should do, but daycare is not always a bad thing. It can be a very good thing if it is well structured, licensed, in good standing with the community/BBB/child services, and you get a good vibe from the providers. You can look at it as one big play date. Your daughter gets to have fun while you are at work.

Another poster is right that you will never get these years back and while it is a very tough decision, your DD will never get them back either. Things like socialization, creativity, and conflict resolution will help her throughout her whole life. It is a tough decision though and I wish you the absolute best of luck. :-)

You are so lucky to have a choice but just remember you will never get these years back.

the only experiences i've had with daycare is when my mom was one when i was younger. but we spent so much time playing i dont think there were any bad experiences. my advice is when you find a place or places that you're interested in, drop in unannounced and see just what kind of care and environment is being provided when guests arent expected. that's a very interesting way to get an honest opinion of how your child will be looked after. Best of Luck!!