Work and Relationships

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From my experience, it has nothing to do with how "nice" one is. It's about who you are loyal to...and who you do favors for. Yes, this involves a great deal of ego stroking -- especially if you are not in a position to do a favor for someone in power. My advice is to find one person in a leadership or power position that you "mesh" with. You'll need to attempt to strike up a more personal relationship with this person (although that doesn't necessarily mean you need to meet outside of work.) Ask this person to be a mentor -- and ask for career advice. Offer to take her out to lunch so you can "pick her brain" about a tough issue you are working on, etc. People in higher positions loved to be viewed as "the expert," so treat her this way. If you know info about the office/employees/work, be sure to share this info with her.. This is the type of relationship that builds trust and loyalty.

No, it's not fair that the smartest, most talented person does not naturally rise up. But that's the nature of office politics. I hate this stuff. Best wishes doing better than I ever did!!!

Interesting responses so far. Unfortunately, my experiences have generally been that people advance less on merit/performance and more on how they make someone else feel.

I've seen many, many incompetent people get promotions because they know how to "play the game". I'm not very good at it, and though I am one to go way above and beyond (working during Maternity Leave, through 5 months of chemo, etc), my territory was eliminated in a corporate restructure last year while the people who played the game better kept theirs. I still have a good relationship with my former manager and speak ~1/month, but it wasn't good enough to keep my job.

Linkedin has some interesting discussions about this - one is a question about how many of your former managers were truly exceptional. The average answer is 5% - the rest responded that people in management were advanced without any qualifications or people skills making them very mismatched.

Right now, employers know that employees would have a hard time finding something else, so they have a little more leverage on their end. Companies are learning to adjust so they're more efficient and don't need as many employees while keeping shareholders happy with stock performance. My previous company laid off 25% of corporate employees, 40% of sales reps in a 6 month period and then paid out $12M to the top 5 executives in bonuses.

You are not alone! Wishing you the best.

I've noticed in my job, the praise/raises are given when you go above and beyond. I switched roles and also took a class (paid for by my work) and got a larger raise than others.

I am always asking my boss if there is anything else I can do around the office (when I have down time). Even though I may not 'want' to do it, I figure that always looks good when it comes to appraisal time!

I also volunteer to take care of the snack bar, water fund and participate in a committee that chooses Employees of the Quarter and for the Year (but I enjoy doing all of this). I have to say, I think it also looks good - especially if I were to ever want to move jobs. It shows that I'm willing to participate in things that are not only job related.

But that being said, I knew my boss before being hired and think that helped me at least get my foot in the door for an interview. Getting hired is a different story since he didn't do the hiring (I also worked at the same place in college).

Unfortunately, I think it is about who you know and the extras that you do...but it's because those people are more likely to shine brighter than the other 'non-kiss-butt types' who sit back and can become swallowed up by the brown nosers...as sad as that may sound.

depends on the profession you are in and what your boss is like

no one wants to promote someone who is crabby just because they do a good job-- if you can't get along well with others and be kind to clients then you shouldn't be promoted because who wants to work with/for someone who isn't pleasant? You don't have to go have drinks with people outside of work or be friends outside of work, but at the office, just remember that we all share this planet together and should be kind as possible to one another. We all hate rolling out of bed and dragging ourselves to work, so seeing a smiling face and someone who bothers to take the time to make eye contact and speak with you is very valuable

Think of the relationship in the office. Do you treat people with respect, do you complete your assignments and are you reliable? They are looking to hire someone who is easy to work with. Playing basketball with each other or going to the bar might be a bonus, but it is not a requirement. Another thing to consider is your personal stress level. If you are a calming influence while you are there, that can be very valuable as well. Everything from your dress to your demeanor to how you complete your assignments and decorate your desk can be a factor. Again you do not have to do anything for them outside of the office, but while you are there you are expected to be a team player, and if you really don't try to be a part of that, you might be best looking elsewhere.

I look at it this way...if you're in a position that two people hold the same degree and both have more than 2-3 years experience in the area, then it moves on to personality and their willing to be involved with the team or office as a whole. I had a teacher (that was not a super cheery lady) once tell me that she wanted to be that annoying person that walks in every morning with a smile on her face and bouncing around. It was in no way her personality but her personality was to get under peoples skin and she knew if she did it that way she could move up faster and be the boss of those other "morning draggers". The questions she always asked us was "How are you going to make your day a better? What are you going to do to stand up and be noticed today?"
I agree with others, this doesn't have to be taken outside of work. You don't have to be friends, but you do have to work well together while you're there.