I Can't Take My High Stress Job Anymore! I Think I Need to Quit.

Don't tell your boss that you are thinking about leaving unless you are ready to do it the minute you tell her. Update the resume and start looking. I wouldn't advise quitting before you have something else lined up....

18 months is a long time to be off for having a baby. Are you sure the conflict isn't from them doing your job all that time and now fighting to keep their job now that you are back? That can make for a pretty hostile work environment.

I guess I am thinking if you can understand the conflict maybe you can make the situation better.

Sans resolution I would wait until after the holiday. Quitting now would exchange one form of stress for another.

After reading the great advice that you have gotten so far, I am going to make a different suggestion. I'm guessing like most people, you cannot afford to quit your job right now since you have bills to pay. With that being said, if I were in your shoes and had to stick it out at this place until I found another job, I would, if you can, take some time off and go in to see a doctor who could put you on some antidepressants or anti-anxiety pills, just to help you deal with the stress until you find another job. I know it's tough to be at this job, but you have invested 10 years here, if you just quit on the spot, it won't look good if a future employer calls this place for a reference.

Any chance you can negotiate working from home one or two days a week? It is unbelievably beneficial to work outside of office politics - you can get so much more done. My stress level has gone down substantially since I started telecommuting, even though my office's dynamics still drive me crazy. At least I'm no longer in the center of it.

If your boss is that confrontation-adverse, I bet you can strike some kind of deal with her. Sounds like she needs you.

I've been there. Before I was married I worked in a corporate environment for 15 years, then up and quit and spent the summer in Japan...Of course I had money in savings but it was the best thing I did. When I returned home, I became a nanny to a doctor and her professional husband. Half the pay but went home relaxed and loved. It was hard for me to muster up the courage to say I wanted to leave but as soon as I did, it was like the weight came off my shoulders. The last time I tried to quit a job (independent contractor and I was working alone so no co-workers to deal with...) they wanted me to stay so much they increased my $ by 40%. They realized how much they needed me and now treat me with much more respect. After I told them I was leaving I was relaxed enough to be blunt about everything and they actually took action. I can't promise that will happen for you but I do know that you can't keep going with chest pains.

It's the right time of year to be out there looking. Retail is vamping up for Christmas and if you're good you can get past the other folks looking. Fill out an application and only hand it to the hiring manager. When you finally get to him/her, tell them you didn't want to bother them but you wanted to make sure they had a face with the name....The last time I did that, they looked at my app right there, set an appointment for the next morning and hired me on the spot. It's amazing how the stress goes away when you know you're needed.

Hope it works out for you and soon. Double up on your antioxidants because stress will tear up your immune system. You don't need to be sick and dealing with all this :)

God bless,
M.

First, when the new employees try and engage you in that way - walk away. Literally leave the area. Go to your bosses office, go outside, heck, go home for the rest of the afternoon. I have always refused to engage in conflict like that at the office - and I worked for years with two women who would get into screaming matches with each other and try and drag everyone into it.

Second, I get that your boss hates conflict - but you need to pick a calm time and sit down and talk with her about what happened. Explain that you are considering leaving because of the hostile work environment and that you would hope that your 10 years of excellent service would prompt her to facilitate changes in the work environment.

Third, try and not care as much. Yeah, I know, completely opposite your work style. I say this as I recognize your work style as my work style. I am 110%, jump right in, skip lunch, and always have the next task lined up. I was told yesterday by my supervisor that I need to slow down...it seems the other staff are "upset" by my need for organization and desire to jump right in and get things done. It is a very unorganized office, with staff that are very unorganized - things slip through the cracks - I tend to catch them before they fall. So, I guess I will let things begin to fall and slip and keep my name off the paperwork. Doesn't matter that in three months I have helped my supervisor catch up 6 months of back work.

Lastly, the new hires may feel threatened by you - you have seniority, a terrific work ethic, and probably run rings around them. Plus you came back in after 18 months leave and they are most likely resentful and are trying to make your life miserable. Don't let them win.

About leaving your job - don't do it until you have secured another, permanent position. I don't care if the government is releasing statistics saying that jobs where created/filled last month. The reality is the job market sucks - everywhere. I was unemployed for 10 months and took a job a few months ago at a 50% pay cut simply to be able to go back to work. I am still looking for another position and have had to expand my search area to places over an hour away from my home or farther - I'll move if I have to.

Career Builders is a good site - I literally have it email daily job updates. Also, begin networking - in 10 years you have a network of people that you deal with through your work and those are sometimes the best avenues for new positions. Ask you current boss to write you a letter of reference - tell her you are updating your resume and would just like to have something on file - or tell her it is time for a 10 year written evaluation of your contribution to the company. But, get something glowing in writing from her even if you have to draft it yourself for her to sign.

Good Luck
God Bless

Don't quit YET - start looking first. Craigslist is a good resource - there are some scammy things, but most job postings are legitimate (just use your gut, common sense, and google if something looks suspicious). Network among friends, especially if they don't overlap with people in your office. Contact your college to see if they have an alumni job board or something like that. You'll start to feel better by being pro-active. Contact personnel firms, and your state employment service.

If you have a car and a decently long lunch break, and if you dress professionally anyway - and if you have the guts and personality to do it - find some companies that you'd like to work for and visit them personally with your resume. Don't expect an appointment, you just want to introduce yourself as in a job transition, and want to make connections, see if they are hiring or know someone who might be. Perhaps make an appointment with HR for a future time. I just did this and have an appointment for next week for an interview.

Good luck!

My job is very high stress too and I dont have kids. I have days where I want to throw in the towel... but in all reality I know it's the wrong time to do such a thing. Look for another job and get it secured if you really, really are ready to leave the job you are at. The economy is so crazy, and THATS why most of us hate working right now, seems like we are spinning are wheels.
But, this too will pass.

Please don't quit until you have a new job. I quit because it was the end of the school year and the secretary badmouthed me. Also, your boss not dealing with confrontation could work to your advantage. Make sure you get a reference letter that says all you did, when you worked, and that you are an employee in good standing eligible to be hired back.
I ended up unemployed for 2 years which was troublesome, but I felt so much better after leaving that horrible enviroment.

Hi,
I don't know what your financial situation is, but if you are able to quit your job without having anything else lined up right away, I say go for it. I was in the same boat as you a little bit over a year ago. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back asleep because I would be stressing out about work. Finally, my husband and I talked about it and decided that I needed to quit and start looking for something else. After a while we decided that I should just stay home which has been my dream all along, but may not be a reality for all. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

You definitely have a lot on your plate. You need to take things one step at a time and think logically through your decisions before just doing something very abrupt like walking out on your job. You mentioned that you would rather work less hours with less pay then put up with the crud going on at your office. Perhaps you can arrange a one on one meeting with your boss and ask her to cut your hours, so that you are working the minimum to keep your benefits such as health insurance. Another topic you may consider discussing with your boss is the option of working from home part or all of the time. Whether or not she is willing to agree to your requests, start looking for another job. Do not give the standard two weeks notice until you have another job to fall back on. I don't know what your position is at your office, but with ten years of experience, you should be able to find another company that would be eager to have someone with your history of longevity and experience. Does your experience and finances allow you to branch off on your own to be your own boss and work from home? These are all things to consider before you quit your job. Best of luck and hope it all works out for you!

Everybody I know is stressed to the breaking point and wants out of their job. I have been trying everything I can think of, but nothing works out. Either my health insurance premium goes up 5x for part time or I can't afford to pay my bills. I have had episodes of angina, stomach in knots, etc, too. I am more than willing to take less pay and have a better quality of life.

However, not having enough money to make ends meet or make repairs or pay for unexpected vet bills, etc is very stressful, too. And there's no guarantee that your lower paying job will be any better. Maybe at first it will seem that way, but just wait.

Stress is bad enough at a good paying job. Just think how much worse it could be if you had the same stress for less pay.

I wish you luck, but think it over. I've been thinking it over and trying to make a plan to retire early or work part time for 2 years now, but the numbers just don't work. And I don't have an expensive lifestyle, either.

Okay of course, I do not want you to feel the stress nor do I want you to
continue in such a toxic environment.
My concern is that you will not find another job right now.
With the economy being what it is, it can be near impossible.
I want you to have a good work environement though.
Is there any possibility to move departments?
Move desks so you will have little or limited interaction?
How about taking one or two days off right now?!
Sometimes coming back from a long break (esp w/the weekend can help
ease coming back.
Any chance for you to then ignore the people to the best of your ability?
If after all this, you can afford (and I mean really afford not to have this
income and only one income then I would understand you giving your notice.
Give the ample notice (dont' burn any bridges here. Lots of reasons for that.)
Hope that helps somewhat.
Good luck sweetie!

Give your notice...take a couple weeks off...regroup...look for something else....I sure wouldn't want a job that consumed me like you described...maybe today was just the little shove you need to move on.

I say look for a job maybe after the holidays but don't quit until you have another one. Its not worth your health to stay there. Don't let those troublemakers get to you. It sounds like they are into the drama and will do things to create it. Don't talk to them unless you have to. Just smile and say have a nice day. I have been at my job 10 years and its very stressful and I have been thrown under the bus but I don't say anything because it would turn into a fight. I try not to talk about anyone and I watch what I say to some people.
There is this one girl and she gets on these laughing fits every once in awhile and thats all she does all day long and sometimes I'm thinking can't she just shut up, I can't get work done when shes laughing non-stop. She talks a lot too. Most of the time I can tune her out but once in awhile I can't.

I don't think there is even a question that you should quit, or at least have a meeting with your boss to let her know that you are going to and if she is willing to do anything to make it easier for you. I worked for 13 years at my job, and waited til my maternity leave ran out to decide to quit. I decided staying at home with my kids was the best gift I could give them. Your health is also suffering and that is not worth any amount of money. Sometimes you just have to make a leap of faith. If you are able to support your children without working, even if it is a bit of a sacrifice, by all means, do it! Good luck!

Quit. Life is short...your baby will be grown up and out of the house one day and you'll feel bad on all you missed out on between all your hours at work and all your hours feeling stressed about work. I completely disagree with some other suggestion about popping pills so you don't feel depressed. You should feel depressed about this crappy situation! It's natural. Rather than medicating so you are numb to it, change the situation and work in a less stressful place!! You can do it.

Wow.
18 months maternity leave?
I'm sorry but I've never heard of so generous a leave outside of Europe.
There might be other places out there but I've never heard of them.
I'd have a hard time leaving a company like that.
I think you care about your work very much and are very emotionally invested in it.
While you were gone, the new people did things and developed a routine and now you're back and their apple cart is upset.
You have seniority and in many places, last hired = first fired.
Who reports to whom - or do you all report to one boss?
Your boss ran away?
That would cause me to lose a lot of respect for her.
Try to work it out first before throwing in the towel.
Have a one on one meeting with your boss and discuss your role and responsibilities with the company.
This is an opportunity to offload some of your workload onto one or more of the new people.
Tell her you want a clear idea what your duties are (and are not), and what the new peoples duties are (and are not) so there is no more stepping on each others toes.
And, of course, the new people also need to know this.

You have the weekend to peruse employment websites and there are a lot of them. Career builder and other sites have resume pointers and buzzwords to add to your resume. If you can take a personal day on Monday or Tuesday and go to the closest state job service office and ask to speak to an employment counselor. You can also contact temp agencies and see what they have to offer, many of the openings are temp to perm.
If you are in a position financially to quit -- go for it. But I would wait until a temp agency has a position for you to quit. For some reason companies are more apt to hire a person who is already employed than someone who is not employed.
As a parting gift to your employer you can file a complaint with the labor standards board for your state.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

We all get stressed on the job at times. Time to learn some techniques to soothe yourself. This may require meditation, massage and therapy.

Perhaps you could create a protocol for the inappropriate behavior you see happening in your workplace, and then propose it to the boss. She may need mediation skills to solve the conflicts at work. If your boss is unable to run the business smoothly and is not open to improvements, perhaps you should leave when you find another position.

As hard as it seems, consider what you could do to make the workplace more hospitable. In these economic times, somehow it seems that the workplace is more tension-filled, competitive, and unresponsive to employees' needs.

If it helps, my job has been turned upside down, I have heartburn, I see too little of my child and husband, etc, etc, etc. I know few people at the moment, unfortunately, in a different situation. If you leave, there may not be a workplace with a better situation.

Keep working and create a plan with a timeline to figure out what you will do.

And see your doc about the chest pains.

Best wishes.

Take this weekend to think about what you want. Forget the job. I mean think about what you would really like to be doing. Lots of us work from home. If you like the actual work you do then there are other companies to approach that may have a different working environment. Maybe you've always wanted to do something but have been practical and held back. Sit down and make a list of what you want. Don't be afraid to put anything on it. Use that list to help push you in the right direction..... Then sit down in a quiet room and envision what you now thing you want, and how you would feel if you got what you want.

Then, start looking for another job or implement your plan. Don't be afraid to make a change. As the saying goes, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." To me it sounds like you want to gain peace. When you quit, give notice. Don't burn bridges. I would not plan to ride it out, but I would give yourself a couple of weeks to get your head around what you want to do. Things could happen in that time that will guide you in the right direction.

And, Get that chest pain checked out! Send me a message if you would like a link to some herbal stress relievers....

I quite a job with decent pay after 6ish years because I couldn't take it anymore. After having DD I felt like I couldn't give my soul to that place and feel *this big* every day. It was not an easy choice and we had to give up some things to make the numbers work. I freelance, so I bring in a *little* of my own money still. My DH carries the family and I was already double insured so I just lost my PPO. We do pay for a different dental plan than what the HMO provides to keep our dentist. I used to carry us for dental. We don't eat out much anymore. Or go to movies. That sort of thing. It hasn't always been easy.

I would dust off the resume and start looking. I quit around this time 2 years ago and haven't really looked back. If you need the job and it isn't working per se but that place of employment, then see if you can't get something else to go to before you turn in your notice.

Discuss your concerns with your boss & see where she stands. My guess is that since she is not confrontational (which is a major downside in a boss) she isn't likely to change, but you never know. Honestly, without good leadership, it can make it hard to do your job & have a harmonious workplace. If she is open & willing to do something, see if she will orchestrate a mediation type of meeting with you & the others. It might help if everyone could get their emotions & issues out on the table, and had an open, safe place to to do so. I'm guessing the others are a bit jealous/resentful, etc. (as the other posters suggested) and that could be the source of the negativity. If you are going to stay, it's in everyone's best interest to be cordial with one another.

However, keep in mind that this employer gave you a year & a half off to have & bond with your baby, which is a perk you will not get elsewhere. It sounds like you have flexibility, seniority, etc. You will have to start at the bottom if you get a new job, take a pay cut, may not have benefits or equivalent benefits, etc. I know you think you'll be less stressed at a different job, but having less income & being at a different job doesn't guarantee a damn thing, honestly.

Talk to your boss and go from there......

Well, I would make my boss confront the issues and be very honest with her and let her know how you feel and that if things don't change that you are thinking about leaving. Do you have other opportunities or plans? Make sure that before you quit if you decide to, you have a plan and that you have made sure that you are comfortable with your decision. My job is also high stress and I have things that I don't like, however I make good money, have great benefits, and a lot of time off so that I can go to my kids functions, stay home with them when they are sick, etc. Just make sure that you take into consideration what you may be leaving, or what you may be missing out on if you don't leave. Good luck!

If I were you, I'd go to your boss and say, Look, either the troublemakers go, or I go--you choose. That is, if you still want to stay. If the job was too stressful in the first place, though, it would be better to look for a new opportunity. If it's affecting you health, it's so not worth it.

In my opinion, look for another job before quitting! But it definitely sounds like you need to get out! Here's another thing to think about: My sister had a very stressful job and although she will never admit it, she was a total Witch (with a capital B!) to everyone around her because of it. I literally could not be around her for more than 15 minutes without wanting to hurt her!! And this was pretty much the opinion of anyone that came in contact with her whether they were family or not! She quit her VERY stressful job a few months ago, and again, she will never admit it, but she is SO different and easy to be around now!! Almost to the point of being pleasant!! lol!!! So, if the stress is affecting your personal life with your daughter, husband, etc., then YES, it's definitely time to look for something else. It's tough out there so I would have something else lined up. Good luck!!!!

Before you quit, if you have a good relationship with your boss, go in and tell him/her that you understand that he/she hates confrontation, but the workplace is becoming unbearable because of the troublemakers. Tell her that you enjoy your job (if you do--be honest) and enjoy working here, but that you are asking her to deal with the troublemakers bad behavior. If the boss knows he/she might lose a good worker with a longtime history of excellent work for the company due to troublemaking newcomers, perhaps that will inspire your boss to be more proactive.

In the meantime, brush up your resume and get a new job lined up before you leave. And when you leave, request an exit interview with your boss and explain that while you enjoyed your job, the negativity/troublemaking made it too unpleasant to stay.