Wondering If I Have to Attend a Wedding

I wouldn't go. It is so smokey and there is no way around it. The wedding halls are in the back & you have to walk through the whole smokey casino to get to it. It's really gross. Your baby is #1 & if you do not feel comfortable don't go. If your husband's family really wants you their they should pick you up not make you rent a car.

Do what would make you feel better. It's your life. There is no point in doing something to please other people and then suffer about it. Ask yourself "how is the best way that I can spend my day?" and then do that.

Make your choice and then be peaceful about it.

P.

I wouldn't go if I were you. It might make things worse with his family if they see that you're uncomfortable being there.

As far as his family not liking you, I can relate. I don't know how open they are about it, but my husband's family is kind of passive-agressive about it. Particularly his mother; I hear mean things she has said to others about me, but she seems to act nice around me. She never makes eye contact with me and brushes off everything I say as if it's nonsense.

I finally said something about it to my husband and he gave me the best advice ever. He said to pretend I have no idea that she doesn't like me and that I never notice how she treats me. Since then, it still bothers me, but I don't feel awkward around them any more, I feel like I'm on to her and she can't do anything to ruffle my feathers.

I don't know if your situation is similar at all, but if it is, I hope that helps.

I would say your ok not going. It's your husbands cousin and being that he will be out of town for the weekend, I think your off the hook. I would suggest that he make the call to his cousin to express his regrets that you all won't be making the wedding because of his training. The family should understand that you shouldn't be bringing your 7mo. old to a casino especially considering in order to get there you would have to rent a car. If they don't understand, consider the source! (as my grandma used to say)

Good luck!

Didn't someone once say you aren't marrying the family, just the man? Whatever!!!

You have more than enough reason not to go!

How does your husband feel about your relationship with his family? Could he call and do a little acting??? Something along the line of well N. really doesn't know what she should do this weekend with the wedding, state your thoughts, she'd really like to see everyone, but it would be very difficult type thing??? Have the in-laws talk you out of going?!?

If that's not an option, in my opinion, missing one wedding may not make things that much worse, going won't make things that much better, maybe in the whole sceme of things all of the inconvience may not be worth it?!?

Good luck!

Good Morning N.-
If you don't feel comfortable don't go. I agree that with a 7 month old baby, a Casino Hall is not an appropiate place for children and no I don't believe children should be around second hand smoke. I would send a card and apologize for not being there and having to miss the occasion. If your husbands family gets mad OH WELL obviously they were not thinking of people with children.
Good Luck!
B. L.

Absoultely you don't have to do anything. You have listed concerns that are important to you. By all means send a card and give your regrets. You need to do whats best for you - and that is the bottom line.

Good Luck,
C.

Hey N.,
I heard a saying once..If you are doing something out of guilt, then it is not true giving or love..and you are not helping them..your harming them. I would stay true to your heart. If they are your family, they should understand. The couple is not going to remember at the end of the day who came and who didn't. I would send your regrets and just make sure you send a gift..that way they know that you care and have good intentions. In addition, no I don't think the smoke is healthy for the children to be around. I think you are making the right decision in staying home w/ your kids. :) I hope you feel at peace with whatever you decide. blessings to you.

I think not going to the wedding is the best choice. Even if you wanted to go and you enjoyed spending time with your in-laws, it doesn't sound practical. Renting a car (hassle and $ and installing the carseat!),husband out of town, smoke filled environment, late starting wedding, why ShOuLd you go? The wedding starts at 5 - the baby will be ready to go to bed shortly after the ceremony. I wouldn't take my kids to a wedding that starts at 5 - especially not at a casino. Good luck!!

Hi- Can you ask one of the family members that you assume might not stay the whole night to let you ride with them? Then you'll be a little "warmed up" to them before you even get there. OR, if they can't, then there is your excuse- no car. I woudn't rent a car unless you really want to go, since that is spendy....and I agree that I wouldn't want to take a 7 mos old to a casino...I guess if its only an hour or so that woud probalby be ok. OR you could just say that your or the baby got sick....good luck!

I have learned an invaluable lesson over the years, DON'T OFFER EXCUSES! People just judge if the excuse is good enough. Baby shouldn't be in a smoky casino hall makes perfect sense to me, but to others it might think it a cop-out. If you didn't RSVP you were attending, send a card and gift and don't feel guilty. Or as others said, let your husband make the call to family. We women spend too much time thinking of everyone else's feelings and not enough about our own!