I put my 11-month old down for a nap in the a.m. when he shows signs of readiness. Usually he falls asleep in the car while taking big brother to Montessori school. If he doesn't doze off in the car, I give him a sippy cup of milk, read books in a darkened room and when he seems ready, we snuggle and he goes in his crib (I put a few books and toys in there, too) He always cries and then falls asleep. In the after noon, I nurse him after lunch and then into bed again like before. He cries then too. If he cries more than 15 min I go check to see if he dropped his lovey on the floor or something, but I don't pick him up etc.
How long will this go on? How long will he do the all out bawl out at naps? (I know every child is different and all that?) He doesn't cry AT ALL at bedtime any more (although he wakes often during the night). I am tired of the crying and also feeling guilty that its every day every day every nap.
Any tips?
I could never let my little ones cry. It just never felt right. I hope it goes well for you.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/
Hi N.,
I'm so sorry you have a tough one. I had four of them! =-) One of my boys had to cry for exactly 22 minutes before he'd go to sleep! I can't remember how long this went on. Now it seems like it was years and years but I know it wasn't! One suggestion I'd have is to make crib just for bed/nap times. Keep toys and books somewhere else so that he won't be confused about what time it is and what he's doing there. The only exception we made to that is that in the morning if they woke before I was done showering or getting ready for the day I'd put toys/books and stuff in the crib so that they could do something while I finished my routine. Usually about 15 minutes. Don't worry...consistency pays off! There will be lots of times you'll wonder if what you're doing is worth it in the long run. Let me tell you that yes it is! I have four teenagers now and I love them all, but the greatest part is that they still love me. They still sit on my lap (even the three 6 foot plus tall boys!) and tell me they love me and tell me about their problems. So....be consistent and keep at it. They grow up so fast, but you'll enjoy it so much more if you're consistent now.
K.
I think there's a difference between being a childcare provider and a parent--unless you're both. Just saying.....
Have you tried nursing him to sleep? Another poster posted some great links on crying and believe me it is NOT a bad habit they depend on forever (bad habits are picking your nose in public). At 11 months my daughter sometimes needs it, sometimes does not need it...my son quit needing it on his own sometime after he turned one. I like some of the others' suggestions on perhaps modifying the time so he's more sleepy and cries less. Mine fusses if shes' very tired and she's nursed out....a min or two. After 15 mins I think you've got a good handle on if he's going to go to sleep or not. I get mine and we rock or nurse again for a while, engage a while, until more sleepy and by then she's really ready and gotes with minimal fuss. The No-Cry Sleep Solution is really good on showing how to work with your child for naps.
have you every considered that he is getting bigger and that you could be making him nap. i have a 2 year old and he stopped naping before he was 1 there would be days that he would fall asleep and i would just cover him so he would not get friten. my mom would ge really angry with me and say that very baby needs there nap but i didnt mind since he would sleep all night long and i would have my sleep. i would sugest to give his way for one day and see what comes out. hey you never now he it waist all his energy in the day with out the need of a nap pr he might just need a midday nap and he will sleep all night and let you sleep also like you havent in a long time. just not for get that if he is falling a sleep then he stell need a nap. or another thing you could do is skip the noon nap and that way he will go to bed and stay asleep all night long eith out waking up.
I am not really sure what to say about how long the crying will go on, but I did want to suggest taking him down to one nap a day. Both of my boys were ready to be down to one nap a day by 11 months. Maybe if you keep him up a little longer in the morning and then put him down for an early afternoon nap, he will be so tired and will not cry. Just a suggestion...good luck!
N.,
It sounds like this is totally normal. Some kids will cry before they nap as a matter of routine. You didn't mention how long he has been crying before naps. If he is going to sleep within 30 minutes of putting him down and sleeping well I wouldn't worry about it. You may try to keep him up during one of his naps to see if one nap will work better for him than two but this sounds very typical to me.
-Jen
Hi N., I have been a professional childcare provider for 15 years, 6 of those years with infants. I personally would avoid putting toys or books in the crib for one thing. They need to understand that the crib is a place to sleep, not play. Having a routine before the nap is also great, so it sounds like you pretty much have that down. That helps ease them into the nap a little more smoothly, and storytime and a cup of milk sounds like a great way to do that. But typically as they approach the one year mark, they are ready to have one nap rather than two. Of course, this is not true of all babies, but most that I have worked with transition fairly easily. The whole crying thing may just be a sign that he truly isn't in need of a nap. You didn't say how long he sleeps each naptime, but if it's anywhere from an hour to two hours(total), he probably is just ready to scale down to one nap per day.
Try not going into the room at all. Lay him in his crib and say, "Sleep well, I'll see you when you wake up!" then when he does start crying, after a few minutes when you feel the need, open the door, DON'T walk in, and just call out, "Shh, it's naptime, time to close your eyes." The more you go in, the less likely he is to sleep at all. You could also try some white noise, or a cd player with some lullabies on it. Both of my kids love going to sleep to music.
Hopefully, within a week or two this will help. Good luck! You aren't alone!
i am a stay at home mom as well. if my guy was refusing to sleep i would just get him up and play together more until he was really 'ready'. not overtired but ready. maybe it was another hour or 2. i dont know if your day is that flexible but i find myself asking this a lot: "in the big picture, how important is this?" eventually he will nap and maybe luckily our routines have fallen into play fairly easy. i nurse him, he either falls alseep in my arms or i put him down awake (more so now that he is older) and he may cry for a minute, 2 max and then he is out. but our nap times do vary whether we are out or playing or whatever. i dont follow the clock rigidly for naps but i do with bedtime (and i think i need to move that to earlier than 9!). if he falls asleep in the car most of the time he will not go down again when we get in the house unless he had a super play date or something. and that can be rough on me because it may only be 10 minutes at noon and then he may not fall alseep again for a real nap until 5. i need a break too!. (yes, he still will go to sleep well most nights at 9). basically, i try to be flexible with naps, luckily (or not) my husband works at night so usually i can get rest/break in the day whether or not baby has already napped and...he is my only child. so i dont know how to do it with 2. ;) as far as how long will it last i have noticed 4-6 weeksish? try the no toys/books in the crib.
there is more but he is crying for me now. good luck.
