15 Month Old Still Crying at Night and for Naps

Hi A.!
Just to let you know my middle did this probably until he was almost 20m. I drove my self crazy trying to "fix" it and in the long run realized that this is how he soothes himself. He would cry for about 10-20m at nap and sometimes at night.

If this helps, he is a wonderful sleeper, and out of my 3 the only one who can sleep through everyday noises.

Also, he is a VERY emotional, aggressive and active child. As you know, at this age they are limited with how they can express frustration (crying being the main expression). I believe that he was actually expressing his frustation at having to "stop" his activity in order to sleep. He wanted to keep going, but was too exhausted to.

Hang in there!

Hi A.! Just wanted you to know that my son didn't stop crying at each sleep time until he turned 18 months old. I actually wrote the date in his baby book, because I didn't think he would ever stop his crying! Hold your course and hang in there -- it will pay off in a major way! There's nothing as healthy as a child who can soothe him/herself to sleep.

PS...I'm a huge Weissbluth fan myself!!

Do whatever works for your family. You do not love your child less and are not doing irreparable harm by letting her cry until she falls asleep. I have a 4 year old who wakes up cranky every day and we've learned best not to approach her and ask her to do things until she's ready and fully awake.

I agree with the poster that one long nap might be better than 2 smaller naps in helping with this problem.

I do NOT agree with the poster that breast feeds her baby to sleep. We ALL take mothering seriously and to suggest otherwise is just rude. There is probably more literature out there opposing this, than crying it out.

Bottom line. YOU know your baby the best and what works. Since your baby is not crying for hours at a time, I think you are doing the best you can to raise a well adjusted child. People won't always agree or think how you do it is completely wrong. Case in point: my children don't have night lights and sleep with the door closed. They've never had a night light and never have been allowed to sleep with the door open, and have never been given a snack before bed. My girlfriends are amazed at this since their kids refuse to go to sleep without these things. Clearly she started the practice and now it has become routine. Whatever routine you put in place, your child will grow into it! You're doing great!

You had said that after your night time routine, she only cries for one minute. Have you tried to do the same routine at naptime that you do at night. We read to our children before they go to bed at night. When my daughter was about two she started to ask for stories before nap as well. Then we started reading books at naptime too! It did seem to help her fall alseep faster. Good luck.

I have a 14 month old. I don't know what your routine is, but I find that on the nights that I spend more time doing the routine, he cries less. He still nurses and takes a bottle (feeding issues with solids - doc said keep him on the bottle). If I only give him a bottle and try to put him to sleep, he will cry and cry. If I nurse him for even just 5 minutes after the bottle, I have no problems at all. He'll maybe cry for a minute or two. Maybe she just needs to cuddle.

I have to agree with the thinking that it will not harm a baby to let them cry it out at this age. I also am thinking maybe your daughter is suffering seperation anxiety? My 21 mos. old went through that for months at about the same age as yours. What I did was to go in "frequently" to check on her, and I would just lay her down & tell her time to go night night. I would start off with going in after 2 mins.. and then increase by a few minutes each time. Is she crying like she's in pain? or just fussy? It could also be a teething issue. Go with your gut & try to read whats going on with her. It could also be that your lying her down for a nap at a time she's still wound up? Just some suggestions. I also try and relax my daughter before naptime & read to her. Babies this age really should be able to self soothe, and I fully believe we can inhibit that by not allowing them the space to find out how to do it.

Why don't you ask weisbluth? He's a chicago doc.

My daughter did the exact same thing, it was maddening to me, but I realized she did it in the car too or often even if I was holding her, it was just how she settled herself, and even though it sounded bad to me, she didn't usually have any tears, it was was more making noise and soothing to her...she is now 26 mo and finally (I think) over it!

Hi A.!
I am a huge Weisbluth fan too. :)
While reading your post, I am thinking that your 15 month old may be ready to transition to one long nap as opposed to 2.
Both of my kids did this around 15 months as well.
I bet if you try to hold her off in the am and put her down right after lunch - she won't fight at all and sleep for a long time.
I know Weisbluth addresses this transition in his book and my kids are now 4 and 2 so the details are foggy at best. However, I can tell you that with both of my kids, they transitioned to one long nap at that age of 15 months.
I'm pretty sure she would not cry/fuss if you only gave her one nap. Good luck!!
M.

I'm with ya - your daughter will be fine despite the crying. I, too, used the Weissbluth book quite extensively.

We used to be able to put our son right in the crib for nap and he'd clock out. He then hit two years old and some tweaking on our part was in order.

Can you more closely mimic the night routine when you put her down for naps? What we had to do was read him the same books before the nap that we were reading to him at night. For him, it is all about the routine and by taking the 5 minutes to read him the books he 'got it' that is was nap time and that, just like when he went to bed, it was time to go to sleep but that mommy and daddy would be there.

I would avoid any return trips unless she is hysterical or the cries are different than just the "I'm bored, come back mommy!"

Good luck - I find sometimes that the tiniest of tweaks in the sleep system work wonders. Our son STILL at 2 1/2 years old takes a 3 hour nap and then sleeps from 7:00 pm - 7:00 am without any problems whatsoever. I'm pretty sure that he wakes up during his nap and during the night (like every normal human does), but because we did the hard work of teaching him how to go back to sleep without needing excessive pacifying he gets nice, solid blocks of healthy sleep. We don't have to shove a pacifier or boob in his mouth, rock him for hours on end, pat his back, or be present for him to fall asleep - we've taught him how to do it for himself and he's been this way since 6 months old! Sure, at this age he's awake in his crib and usually takes a little bit to fall asleep but he isn't crying; surprisingly enough he is saying good night to his Elmo and his 'sheepie' dolls and tucking them in with him.

You're totally doing the right thing - keep it up!

A regular rountine at each nap is important. See if that works. Also, does she need two naps? Should she start going down to one? Or, maybe those particular naptimes are not working?
I'd let her guide when she needs her naps. Just like adults, we all have different times during the day when we get tired. I know my son gave up his afternoon nap around 16 mos, but still keeps his nap at 11:00, no matter how hard I tried to change things. He's an 11:00 kid.
Good luck:)

Hi,

I have seen kids cry at this age as long as 30 min. so, I would say it is normal. We all do different things to fall asleep(our body relaxes itself for sleep for her this may be cleansing). I have been working with kids since I was nine (I was the oldest in my family). Both of my kids sleep routines are different even if they go to bed at a regular time. I have one that I would put down and she would go strait to sleep at what ever time I put her down which was 7-9:00 depending on her age (she is 7 now). The other I have to be more specific about her bedtime or she won't fall asleep and then I have to deal with a two year old walking down the stairs every five minutes so, she goes to bed at 8:30 with no problems :) (she will be my night owl). I had very good sleepers (both slept through the night at 1 1/2 months) and had very good routines with both, but as they have gotten older there bodies changed and so, did they. One thing that I have remained constant on, that bedtime is bedtime no ands ifs or buts so, the crying may only be temporar or it maybe the way your child unwinds emotionally from the day. I think it is good at least they are not holding it all in and sleeping well and not about there daily bothers. They can have nightmares even at that age. Hope this is helpful.

L.

Hi there I have the same exact problem and so I'm just trying to get to the page where I can read what all the other cool moms have to say! Thank you and good luck!!

My 22 month old still cries a bit before going to sleep. I wouldn't worry too much about it. The one thing I agree with the other posters on is that it might be time to transition to just one nap, my daughter transitioned to one nap around 15 months. When she transitioned she would take one nap at noon and go to bed at 8. Now she takes one nap at 1 and goes to bed at 8 (and wakes up between 7:30-8).

A.,
For some kids these things take time. My four year old son did not eat solid food for almost one year. It freaked me out because my six year old daughter ate well after about 3-6 months. The sleeping part is difficult though. My daughter started sleeping longer because she ate earlier. Just try to make sure your child is fed well, takes a warm bath (use J&J bedtime bath), and read a story or watch a favorite t.v program before bedtime. Hang in there, it will get better.

All the Best