Will Co-sleeping with Just Daddy Make Our Son Gay?

Wow this is sad. My goodness he's a child and that's his dad end of story there is nothing gay about it! So please get over it.

This is a concern that never would have occurred to me. I believe homosexuality is largely genetic, so I really don't think co-sleeping with his father will "make" your son gay. And so what if he does discover he likes men when he grows up? Will that make you love him any less?

Are you concerned that sleeping with just you will make your daughter a lesbian?

Continue doing what you're doing if it's right for you and your family. Your children's sexuality is already genetically encoded into them. You can't change that, no matter which parent is their primary co-sleeper.

No to the gay. You may be over thinking.

But yes to putting them in their own beds.

I have trained my son to quiet himself to sleep since he was 1 year. Before he was so young, and he does sleep longer with me and thus that was how i got my sleep but the older he gets, his bed is his bed and mine is mine. If he doesnt feel well that is different. And sometimes when you want to be close and cuddle....why not. But most nights....he is in his bed....he may wake up... i may pick him up....but then he goes right back in his bed.

You and your husband should be sleeping with yourselves most night without the kids.

This is my opinion.

I'm with Julie L on this one. My kids have been in their own beds since day 1 and yes there were many sleepless nights, but now I get a good nights rest every night. My kids go to sleep by themselves. Many of my friends struggle with their co-sleeping children, the kids will not go to sleep unless Mom or Dad is laying down with them. These kids are 5 years old, not 1 or 2. At nap time I put my daughter down, give her a kiss and leave. My daughter's best friend wanders into her parents room every night around 2AM. So, her parents are woken every night at 2AM. Nobody is getting the required rest, because of this nightly interruption. My question is, are you really getting a good nights rest? On vacation my kids sleep in the same room with me and wake me up several times a night just by breathing. In my humble opinion, you need to get your kids sleeping in their own rooms.

I believe sexual orientation is biological and there is nothing you can do to make your son gay or not. I would worry about someone calling CPS to make sure nothing funny is going on. I recently told a friend that she needed to stop her 5 year-old from showering with her father, that I would be tempted to call CPS.

If you are not happy with your current sleeping arrangement then you need to change it and make it work for you and your family. Buy a King size mattress, put it on the floor and sleep all together. Maybe put a twin mattress on the floor next to your mattress and try moving your son onto that. It will take up a lot of room. But you could move your dresser, etc. into the room you are currently occupying. It won't be the prettiest bedroom around, but it will be functional.

I always try to keep my answers short, helpful, and positive. I did none of those today. Please understand, I'm not judging you I am simply sharing my experience and what my friends have shared with me.

Good luck!
N.

Forgive me. I am going to use an analogy for this one...

A climbing rose can spread out across the ground, but it was meant to climb. You can avoid the rose by walking around it, but it will grow wider and wider until it takes up your entire space. And the wetness of the ground will cause it to rot eventually.

Training a climbing rose to trellis is a lot of dedicated work, but it grows in the direction it was meant to. It also is safer from disease and fungus. Climbing roses act as if they do not want to cooperate with climbing the trellis, but if they are encouraged to, their future benefits from it.

For your other question, your climbing rose probably won't become a gay climbing rose unless it meets with other gay climbing roses and has no internal standards to turn away from such influences.

First off, I'm with you on co-sleeping, ALL of us have slept great because of it. Oh, and yes, for those who think it ruins a marriage - we've been married almost 14 years and we DO have sex! Like you said - it can take place anytime/anywhere! (-: My son is 3 and my daughter is 5, they both slept with us from birth until 2/3 and on occasion still do. Not to sound harsh, but I think your question is ridiculous! My son also plays dress up w/his sister - princess clothes! But, I'd never ever worry that it would make him gay. We have a couple of gay family members (cousins) - I know for sure, they did not co-sleep and they are gay. I'm no expert but I don't think you can make your little boy gay by co-sleeping, him playing w/"girl" toys, baking with him, etc.. In fact, my little guy is a true boy, however he can play dress up/house like no other. So on one hand, he'll only give firm hand shakes to some people where with others, he'll grab on tight and hug and kiss them.

My vote is NO! Keep doing what you are doing and don't worry. On the other hand if you worry and keep him from doing things you think will make him gay then maybe you'll have a whole nother' problem on your hands.

M.

Hi E.,

I have a 2 1/2 yr old son who co sleeps w/ me during the nights and naps w. dad during the day. ( dad works nights)

I only wnat to answer you because your concern caught my attention: I found out 3 yrs into it that my husband slept w/ his parents in their bed when up until age 10 !!( mom at day and dad at night. ) And I think your question is totally understandable, I myself would wonder. But, knowing my husband and his family, ( even his sister had a "family" bed ) the way I do, I wouldn't worry about his being gay. I think it's a closeness that offers security and see no reason to not allow it. I know a lot people who don't understand it or agree w/ it, but I believe in whatever keeps the family happy and healthy works for each individual... Let me know what you decide.... P.S also,

My son has 3 OLDER sisters and he loves babys and kittens: but he also has a mean kick and a awesome swing for the ball!:) Just so you know. I think our mom instincts send signals when a child has a different sexual preference. some will argue this, but I've learned in life to follow those instincts that most would ignore..HUGS.

No. Co-sleeping with just dad won't make him gay. You might try his own bed, there by your bed, if you want to move back into the family bed... Otherwise, don't worry about it. I know a family who co-slept both their boys until the oldest was about 12, and both those boys are straight (and well adjusted!). No worries.
R.

Your son has the same chance of becoming gay from sleeping with daddy as your daughter has of becoming gay from sleeping with you. It's all relative and although males and females are different, young children don't know the difference well unless you plan to sleep that way forever and a mature adolecent might get the wrong idea. I just wonder how all 4 of you will be sleeping a year from now? I am in no way try to be condecending because I know how hard it was to get our son to go to sleep in his own bed without more than a bedtime story and he still comes and sleeps in our bed in the middle of the night which is fine with us. Which leads me to the other question of where are the kids when you two have a chance to be intimate anytime of day and anywhere? I want kids like yours because our son will only go a couple minutes before he comes looking for us. Do you guys like get up at 3am and meet in another room of the house? That's kind of kinky like a random encounter which could totally keep a marriage alive.

Hi E., I know that as parents we get concerned with things that may seem silly to other people. Let me just tell you this, I have several gay friends. Several male and female gay friends and all of them have said that being gay was not something they just "chose". They did not wake up one day and decide to be gay. They were born that way. It wasn't something that happened to them or some influence that caused it. It just is. And there is nothing they can do about it. I think that your little boy sleeping next to daddy is just fine. It is comforting to him and if you don't mind the kids in your bed, then it is all okay. Eventually he will sleep in his own room, as I am sure no one you know as a teen or adult, sleeps with their parent still. It is okay, and you need not worry that this will "cause" your kid to be gay. I do believe that if our children end up gay, they are already that way, from birth. So happy sleeping and don't worry. You are doing everything okay.

You are over-thinking this one! This will not make your child gay! Don't sweat the small stuff and keep focusing on all the wonderful things about your family life! Don't listen to the others who say co-sleeping is bad. You do what you and your family feel comfortable with!

YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT?? I'm sorry but this is a crazy question, in my opinion.

I do think 2.5 years old is a bit old to be co sleeping PERIOD! with mom, dad or another sibling. He needs to learn independence, sleeping in the dark, overcoming fears of the dark, etc. All the normal things we learn as a child.

No offense, as I know this is your choice, however, seems a little unhealthy to me...and has nothing to do with a GAY issue!

i think anyone who even gets that thought in there head is crazy! i have a two year old son and all he thinks about is his dad he is crazy about him!!and he sleeps in our bed almost every night i leave for work at three in the morning and the two of them are always snuggled up together that is something you should be happy about is that your child isnt withdrawn and dousnt show affection . when they are that age they know nothing about sex or gay or straight !!!! its only when you put it in his head when it becomes wrong!!@!! if the kid is 12 ,13, or 14 still wanting to sleep with dad then you may have a problem, but this is a BABY, they have no idea about that stuff he isnt seeing gay he is seeing that i love daddy and daddy loves me!!!!!