Why Won't He Sleep?

Updated on August 27, 2009
J.C. asks from Columbus, OH
19 answers

Hey Mammas,

I need some advice and opinions with what is going on with my two year old boy. He just turned two in July and for the past month, he's been having some sleep issues. He's never been a great sleeper - in fact, it's only been about the past six months that he's actually slept through the night. But my issue is that he wakes up outrageously early. 4:30, 5, 5:30 ... And in my opinion, that's not giving him enough sleep, since he goes to bed around 7:30 and is usually down by 8. There's hardly any fuss going down for bed or nap, we do some quiet reading and he's usually ready to go, so there's no problem there.

But the other factor is that he's been terrible when he wakes up from his naps. I let him sleep about two hours and then go in to get him up, but he's been Mr. Inconsolable and moans "sleeeeeep" and puts himself facedown back in his crib and cries. Lately, I've been letting him go back to sleep when this happens. Now please note, I don't sit there with a timer and when the two hours have passed, crash his room. HE'S usually whimpering "Mooommmyyyy" at about two hours time. So, I know he's awake and I need to go get him. When he IS ready to come downstairs and be with people, he still cries and needs to sit next to me with a drink and a snack until he starts warming up. Now, most kids need a 'gearing up' period after naps, but most of the time, Sam is crying and clinging and begins moaning 'sleeeeep' again. It's usually a good half hour to 45 minutes that I can't even talk to him.

So What's the answer? This normally happy boy is miserable when dealing with sleep. Am I depriving him of sleep? Giving him too much sleep? Should I even be thinking about cutting out his nap?? It seems so young to not have a nap? HOW DO I GET THIS BOY TO LIKE TO SLEEP AND STAY ASLEEP?

Thanks for any advice and thoughts,
J.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for the suggestions, Ladies! I can't really say that anything has really worked. He's still waking very early (5am and sometimes before). We've backed his bedtime to 8 or later, we've upped the outside time, getting plenty of physical excersize, we've backed his naps to no more than 2 hours and some times less. It's all KIND OF working. At least, he's not waking in the middle of the night any more. I keep a little sippy and cracker or something for the minute he wakes up, and that's helped with some of the crabby apple waking-up-from-nap time. I'm also trying to find something to distract him from being miserable when he wakes by having an interesting toy nearby.

We also tried three days in a row without naps at all to see if he'll sleep at a longer stretch ... those were really hard days on the little guy. I seem to remember that my daughter stopped her nap not long before her third birthday, so I know we'll probably be doing without it before long. But Sam is only 27 months. I just can't believe he's ready to give the nap up yet.

Anyhow, that's what's working a bit for us.

Thank you so much for the responses!

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D.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Maybe you could try 2 short naps in lieu of one long one. I'd push his bedtime up to 8-8:30 to try to last longer in the morning. I have a 15-month-old granddaughter, and she varies between 2 short and l long nap, but her bedtimes are 8:00 and rise at 7:30. Good luck!

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K.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'll be following along here cause I have the same issue with my son who will be two in October (just finally started sleeping through the night a couple months ago!). We do have a later bedtime but I wanted to pass along some info his doctor gave me last time we were there. She said that naps are nice, but not absolutely necessary. She said it's more important for him to get the good solid sleep at night.

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M.D.

answers from Columbus on

The BEST book about sleep that I ever read is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. check it out.

Good luck!!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Every child is different when it comes to sleep and some people really do need 30-45 minutes to wake up. I remember my ped. saying that at 3-4 years old they still needed a good 14 hours of sleep a day. (I was always concerned my child slept too much easily getting in 16 hours at this age! Keeping in mind 14 is merely a benchline average and ped. recommended, not necessiarly Mom approved!)
My son was a sleeper. He took 3-4 hour naps until he was 5 years old. I let him lay in bed until he was calling my name (giving him the time he needed to wake up before dealing with people instead of going in right as he was waking up). So sometimes it would be a 2 and half hour nap with 30 minutes of waking up. If not I had a fussy wimpery kid on my hands. At night, he sleeps as long as the house is quiet (and always has). So if I'm up and moving at 7a, he wakes up and is moving. If I sleep til 10a, he will lay there and wait until he hears me up.
My neice is like this all the time. She doesn't sleep and I know many kids like this. My sister says she likes to get up early and play with her toys or play in the bed. (She is two).
Suggestions: if you can let him just stay in bed, if he's not crying and he's content leave him in his bed until you feel it's an apporpiate time to get up. Such as, if he wakes up at 4:30a and you think 6a is apporpiate, try to let him just stay in bed until then or for as long as possible. Maybe he will realize that no one is awake yet and he should be asleep also. Just a thought. Obviously if he tries to climb out or cries then this could be an issue for the rest of the family.
I think 8p bedtime is a great bedtime to be asleep by at this age. My 6 year old bedtime is 8:30p to be in bed and if we could make 8p and fit everything in each evening we would!
Best of luck!

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Cut the nap times back at least one of them to an hour. He will be a little crabby for a couple of days but will sleep better at night.

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B.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

JMHO, but I think 7:30 bedtime AND a 2 hour nap is maybe a bit much? Have you tried pushing the bedtime back a half-hour or hour? Making him wait a bit?

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

First, I would push his bedtime back until 8:30 (so start putting him down at 8 instead of 7:30). Give him a bed-time snack before he goes down, to keep his tummy fully overnight (something healthy but filling).

Also, there is absolutely no need for you to get up at 4:30 with a 2-year-old. Turn off your monitor and set your alarm for 5 (to start with, hopefully you'll be able to push it back). You don't have to jump just because he wakes up. He might just put himself back to sleep if you give him the opportunity. If not, he can still play in his crib until you come to get him. If he learns that waking up earlier doesn't get him any more mommy-time or play-time than sleeping in, he might be less eager to get up. He'll probably scream the first couple of times, but he should learn.

As for the naps, I'm really not sure what is going on. You might try the same thing I suggested above. Have two different set nap times (once in the morning and once in the afternoon), and if he wakes up before his naptime is over, he can play in his crib. When I worked in daycare, we expected kids his age to be able to lie on their cots and either read or play quietly during naptime if they woke up early, so I'm convinced he can handle it once he has adjusted to the change. I hope this helps! I would be exhausted if I was in your shoes! I hope you're able to fix the problem soon!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Everytime my kids' sleeping habits became disrupted, I always messed around with their naptime. If they started having trouble falling asleep at night, I cut into their naptime. Same if they were waking up earlier in the morning. With my son, he stopped taking naps at 2. I know quite a few of my friends who have boys that gave their nap up early also. If I were you, I'd try a couple of different things. First of all, at his age, I put my kids down at 8:30. They usually slept until about 7:30. If that's too late, adjust the bedtime to 8 or 8:15. If that doesn't work, I'd try to limit him to an hour of napping. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to fix sleeping habits when they're still napping. Once the nap is gone, that's when you start having to deal with bad sleeping habits with punishments...no fun! :)

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J.Z.

answers from Columbus on

hi momma, couple quick tips i hope might help =)
i think i read (in the no cry sleep for toddlers book) that 2 and 3 yr olds should have 12 -14 hrs of sleep, including naps. Wow!, huh? i said okay, ill try it... my 3 yr old now sleeps 10-11 hrs at night & has a 1.5 hr - 3 hr nap every day. The key factor for us was the DARK DARK curtains! who would've known? The room is dark and she sleeps all through the night/morning. We say goodnight to the sunshine and open the curtains every morn and say good morning sunshine! At first, in the am, she would wake and stir about... i'd give it a minute to see if shed fall back to sleep, if she called for me, i would go in and tell her it was still sleepy time (id point to the dark window) and it was still time to close her eyes & i would stay with her. Usually a hand on her back, stroke of her face would do it. Not any talking or books or anything, just quiet. if she talked i would lightly sshh sshhhhh. some people walk in and try this and end up saying to the child ok, its still quiet time, so u need to stay here then & walk back out & find their kid has fallen back to sleep cause their body still needed the sleep.
We started with going to bed a half hour earlier every night to make the time exist or u can add the half hours in the am too.

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C.R.

answers from Columbus on

I currently have a 2 1/2 year old that is a great sleeper, however, he can be a grump if we wake him up and he doesn't wake up on his own.

All kids sleep patterns are different. Unfortunately, it may take a little trial and error to see what works best for your son.

I would suggest letting him stay in his crib for awhile after he wakes up. At his age, you can even keep a few books, etc. in there. If he is not crying, I would let him slowly adjust to being awake. If he doesn't want to stay in his crib after his nap, then give him some quiet time in his room or watching a little TV on the couch. As for bed time, if he is waking up too early, I would try putting him down a little later. Like I said, all kids are different. My son was waking up too early and we found that making his bed time earlier helped (his bed time had been getting later and later so we moved it up to 8:30pm).

Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Cincinnati on

Have you tried incorporating his favorite books or maybe a favorite movie into his 'wake-up' ritual? You could really make a point of pampering him in that 45mins..bringing him his juice, snack, etc.. while he awakens? Maybe that would make him a bit happier about waking up if he knew that there'd be something he looked forward to when he did?
Ofcourse, I guess that could keep him sleepy, too?
You could even promise him an arts/crafts project (something really simple)?? Just ideas!! :) Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am assuming he is only on one nap at this point, right? Just making sure! If so, I wouldn't worry about letting him wake up from it slowly. Don't make afternoon appointments if you can help it. Try and have something out that he likes so that when he wakes up he will occupy himself during that 'groggy' time.... stuffed animal, toys.. without crying for you. It may take awhile, but hopefully he will learn to wake cheerfully on his own.

I also wonder what time his nap is. I agree that he could stand to stay up a bit later at night, especially if he is waking up in the late afternoon from a nap. Perhaps sleep 8:30 - 7:30 and nap 1-3:30? I would make sure he has at LEAST four hours between his nap and his bedtime. Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

You did not say when he naps but I think 7:30 bedtime is a little early if you do not want him up so early.
There is nothing wrong with a 2-hour nap in the early afternoon, but I would not expect him to sleep more than 10 hours at night.
A change in schedule might benefit both of you.
As far as his behavior after naps, I am a firm advocate of waking up in a good mood.
My grandson tends to be grumpy when he gets up and I told my daughter to really expect him and remind him to be more cheerful and cooperative, so you don't get to dread him waking up.
Might as well start now to get that mindset.

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B.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I know it sounds strange but I would start, if possible, trying to put him to bed earlier at nighttime. Maybe you could aim for half an hour to start and see if that helps and then maybe bring it forward an hour. I read a great book that said sleep begets sleep so that might help. If it doesn't help with the wake up time (you are right, that seems way too early) it might at least give him more sleep so that he is not so grumpy after naps. Is it possible not to go into him at the early time he is awake?

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T.G.

answers from Indianapolis on

Maybe you could cut his nap down to an hour during the day and try putting him down a half an hour or hour later at night. 7:30 sounds awfully early. I imagine if he were to fall asleep at 9, you could get him to stay to sleep until 6 or 7. Good luck!

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T.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

J. - I have a little boy who turned two in April so he's a little older than your son, but he goes down for his nap about 1:00 p.m. and I let him sleep until he wakes on his own, which is usually 2-3 hours. At night, he goes to bed at 9:00 p.m. and usually falls asleep around 9:30 p.m. He wakes on his own in the morning around 7:00 a.m. usually. He's pleasant when he wakes on his own from his naps and in the morning, but he's cranky also if I have to wake him. I have found that if I put him to bed at 8:00 p.m., he wakes too early in the morning also. You might try pushing his bed time back to 8:30 p.m. and see if that helps. Just a thought. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Usually that is a side that he is changing & his body schedule is changeing. Instead of putting him to bed at 7 try 8. at 7 give him a snack, bowl of cereal popcorn. nothing to heavy. He is getting older & his sleeping habits change. After he snacks or before give him a bath with Chamamille & lavender or Eucoliptis, for him he will think it is play time with bubbles. But it is an excellent relaxing bath. They didn't have that when mine were growing up, but I kept my great neices everyday, and there were times when I would take & run a little water in the tub at nap time and just pour it in & let them play after they had their lunch. Once they pasted 10 months I would lay them on the couch for cartoons. I would lay beside them & stroke in a circular maner their temples with my finger. An When they would look at me I'd drop my eye's like I was about to fall a sleep. Yea sometimes I did. I tried to avoid allowing them to be totally exhausted at nap time, that way they didn't sleep less than an hour & more than 2 hours. At his age his body is needing less sleep & with a full belly, warm bath, a story, he should drift right off and sleep all night, but if he is waking up then he is probably getting to much sleep so just extend bed time an hour. See what happens it can't hurt!

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C.F.

answers from Columbus on

His issues with sleep may not be sleep issues. My son went through a period of time when he would wake up from naps and cry for an hour or two. His doctor felt that during his nap his blood sugar would drop and he had low blood sugar and would cry until he ate/drank something. I started giving him pediasure at breakfast and it made a huge difference. You may want to try making sure he has a snack before he takes a nap. If that doesn't work, pediasure would boost his protein/calorie level for the day. Pediasure can be expensive, so try his regular diet first. My son ended up drinking 1 pediasure a day for about 2 years.

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C.N.

answers from Muncie on

I would make sure he has a healthy snack right before he goes to bed. Peanut butter and banana, something that will stick with him for awhile. I wonder if he is waking up hungry (maybe a growth spurt). My daughter needed a "right before bed" snack every evening. It seemed to make a difference. There has to be something waking him up and hunger is a good guess. You might offer him a few bites of food if he does wake up and then tell him to lay down and go back to sleep for awhile. You might even give him a few books to look at in his bed. Tell him mommy is going to go back to sleep and will be back in later to get him. With morning time becoming dark again, tell him it is still night time, it is not time to get up.

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