Why My Son(8 Years Old) like to Pat Girl Classmate' Butt? How Can I Do?

It doesn't matter if he doesn't understand it. I actually think that he understands it plenty. He's just pretending not to understand because he likes doing it.

You need to LET HIM HAVE IT every single time he does it. Stop coddling him and get angry. No more asking him why he likes to pat girls butts. Be TOUGH with him. The teacher needs to send him to principal's office every time, too. Take away his very favorite privilege each and every time. You need to treat this seriously. If you don't, he will do this as an older kid and MORE, and the parents of the girls will call the police about it.

Great now I've got Sir Mix a lot's Baby got back song in my head except I'm changing the lyrics to "I like girl's butts and I can not lie."

I'm guessing he is 2nd or 3rd grade if he is 8. When my daughter was in 2nd grade, four little boys were grabbing her behind. As soon as I found out I contacted the school. It didn't stop until I called the police. Maybe that's when the parents took me seriously that I wanted this to stop? In Maryland, people can be arrested at age 7, and that would have happened to the boys had a simple talk from the police not helped.

Sorry, but that's not okay and your son absolutely knows better. There should be serious consequences for him doing this. YOU know better and need to make him stop.

Great first question C. from Surprise.
Now get back to school and pay attention in English class.

Have you not yet taught your child about 'private' parts of the body? He is eight.

He should know that certain parts of the body are private.
AND he should know that he is to be held accountable for any misbehavior which happens at school. That if MOM SAYS SO, he DOES so.

The fact that you are telling him not to do something ('don't touch a person's private parts') and he is not following directions means it's time to make it loud and clear. I'd start with taking away privileges the next time his teacher mentions this problem to you.

As in - NO TV for a week and NO Video Games for a week.
If those are not things he's usually interested in, what's his favorite thing to do? For my kid, it is Legos. When he breaks a *serious* rule (and not touching people's private parts is a serious rule your son IS old enough to understand unless he has some sort of profound intellectual disability), you take away the thing he loves most, for a week. NO, he may not 'earn it back'. He disobeyed a very simple and reasonable request-- keep your hands off of other people's bottoms.

My son learned pretty early on that we ONLY touch girls/women on their arms or shoulders. Period. Any place that our underwear covers is not to be touched, period. He is six and can figure it out. Don't let your son pretend "I don't know".... you explain private body parts to him. And then, follow up every. single.time you hear he's doing this-- he loses a privilege or a special toy for a significant amount of time. Don't let him make excuses and don't make excuses for him. At some point in time, we tell our kids to do what we tell them to do For Their Own Good, and if they don't, then there is a consequence to ignoring that.

I'm the mom of a boy, but if I had a little girl whose bottom was getting grabbed and rubbed by a classmate, you can bet I would think the parents were in denial if they kept saying "He doesn't understand". You make him understand. That's your job, mom. You MAKE your kid understand.

He's eight years old, not three or four. Unless he has some kind of developmental issue that means he operates on the level of a younger child -- he is perfectly aware of what he is doing and KNOWS it is wrong. He isn't patting any boys' backsides, is he? That is your clue that he knows very well that it's about boy and girl and being inappropriate.

Did you see the recent news story about the boy who is six and got in huge trouble at school for kissing a girl? Believe me, a boy of eight is going to end up suspended if he keeps touching girls' butts. Schools take these things very seriously these days and will actually bring sexual harassment charges (yes, with cops) against kids if it persists.

First, the school has told you about this, I assume, since you know what's going on in school. Telling him "Don't do it" is not working. You need to meet in person with the teacher, the school counselor and the principal, all together with you, NOW. You and they need to come up with a firm action plan that all four of you agree to enforce and YOU have to be cool with it when they come down hard on him. The counselor should be seeing him regularly to talk about inappropriate touch. The teacher needs to have him watched especially at the times and places when he is doing this -- if he does it on the playground at recess, he needs to be kept by the teacher's side for a long time at recess (yes, this can be done, and I've seen it done). He needs to be sent home every time he does do it and have every privilege taken away instantly -- no TV, nothing in his room, no games of any form, etc.

A boy in my daughter's first grade class would touch girls' backsides and the teacher was very good -- she moved his desk so it touched hers. At recess he had to stand right next to her. At the first sign of ANY acting up he went to the principal's office and did his classwork in there. I mean, right by the principal's own desk! It did help because he basically was locked down.

It does not matter if it is a girl or a boy, he needs to understand that any body part covered by a swimsuit is not to be touched, and that no one is to touch him in these areas.

Everyone needs to learn to keep their hands, feet and other body parts to themselves.
They usually learn this by kindergarten or first grade.
At 8 yrs old, your son knows exactly what he's doing.
There is no 'why' about it - it needs to stop.
You tell him if he does it anymore, he'll lose recess privileges at school and be spanked/grounded at home to help him learn this lesson.

Yep. Have to put that to an end quickly. The older he gets the stiffer the punishment at school. As far as what to do, I'd just explain that you can't touch other people like that. period. Tell him, "it's just one of those things like not putting your hand on a stove, not jumping out of a car etc. You just can't". Good luck.

C., this is just not acceptable. By now, the school should have taken stiffer action, such as a suspension. If these girls tell their parents, they might have him charged with something. It's not cute and it's not a normal milestone at this age (trust me, I work in an elementary school). No more asking him why or gentle reprimands/reminders. If you find out he does it again, severe punishment. Make sure that the teacher and principal have your support in enforcing consequences that make this inappropriate activity so unappealing that he will stop. He should probably also be meeting with the school counselor. You have told him to stop. He has not done so. He is defying the rules. This sort of behavior may happen among preschoolers, but he is too old for this to continue, or it will have serious consequences for him.

Actually he can be expelled for that if it happens at school.

Have you talked to him about his private parts? And that no one should touch him on his private parts? Like AK mom, we use the 'bathing suit areas' definition. No one but you can touch you on your bathing suit areas (except for the doctor in a checkup, and even he should ask first). I hope so, for his own safety.

Then you need to make it clear that he can't touch others on their bathing suit areas either. No one touches anyone else there.

Tell him that if he does it again, then he will have consequences - and talk to the teacher about what those are. Maybe the teacher will have him lose recess at school if he does it. Actually, I'm wondering if this is a real question, because I can't imagine that the teacher/school didn't implement discipline for this immediately.

My husband likes to do that too. I never thought anything of it. He said he was just being a good co-worker, and friendly... LOL

He simply needs to learn how to keep his hands to himself. The only people he should be touching are family members. If he "forgets" and does it again let the teacher deal with it. She can send him to the office. I imagine a chat with the principal and the loss of recess will get the message across.

he likes to do it because patting girls' butts is appealing. especially to 8 year olds.
i'd quit trying to explain, or get him to understand. he's probably overwhelmed with information, and politically correct information at that (which never makes much sense to kids, who are immanently sensible.) simplify.
'do not pat butts. period.'
boys or girls. no butt-touching. invoke woeful consequences, that he understands completely beforehand, for infractions.
it's good for kids to understand the whys. but parents can go overboard with it. sometimes you just have to lay down an edict.
khairete
S.

Short Answer - private areas - where our underwear covers, we don't touch other people. Privacy. That's it.

He is old enough to understand you do not do that!