Why Is the Bully Trying to Make a Deal Now?

Can you PLEASE convince your daughter to walk to another part of the playground whenever this girl starts talking to her?
At some point your daughter needs to walk away, it's not like this girl is sitting on top of her and holding her down, right?
Unless your daughter and her friends are enjoying all this drama on some level?
And if you are leaving this school why do you continue to question the motives of a girl you will soon have nothing more to do with? You are wasting so much time and energy on this, STOP ENGAGING and move on, school is almost out!!!

S., I've read all your recent posts on this situation and I feel for you and your kids. But you have to just tell your daughter, "There are X days of school left. For all those days, when Bully so much as walks in your direction, you turn and calmly walk away and stand next to the nearest ADULT." You, too, must walk away figuratively -- you chose to keep the kids in this hellish school until the end of the school year, so equip them with how to deal with the last few days (walk away, find an adult, every single time) and you, yourself, should also walk away. You want to see consequences that may or may not be happening. You need to stop wanting it so much that you are still boiling over it, inside. The principal claims he's dealing with her -- it needs to stop mattering to you whether he is or is not. You are out of here. I know it's confusing for your child, but just tell her, as others here have said -- the girl knows she is in trouble and is trying to get out of it, but they must not lie. They must act as if she does not exist. A few more days or weeks and she WILL not exist for your family. But you, not just your kids, need to walk away.

Sounds like a little sociopath to me.

Commend your kids for being honest. Who cares why she's trying to do anything. Contact the district superintendent if you want real movement.

A better questions would be "Why is your daughter still speaking to the bully?"

She is allowing this girl to continue to manipulate her by engaging at all. If my kids were in this exact situation they would not say a word in her presence. They would walk away EVERY time this little brat opens her mouth. I assure you there is nothing that will frustrate and "hurt" this child more than total lack of response. Every time she gets a response, ANY response, she has won. She said herself "it's fun to be mean and get people upset" your family is giving her what she wants.

There are lots of kids like this in every school. It isn't right but it's reality.

Because a cover up cannot force people to be your friend. The kids in the class have that control, not the administration.

She's basically trying to bribe them into covering things up for her instead of facing the possible consequences. What a little con artist! And good for your daughter and her friends for refusing to go along with it! Use this as a teaching moment for your daughter about how wrong it is for people to try stuff like this, that you are proud of her for not falling for it, and let her know (if you have not already) that you are switching schools so she doesn't have to keep dealing with this girl all the time. It's okay to remove yourself from situations are unhealthy and toxic for you. Sounds like the school year can't end soon enough!

It will be interesting to see what this bully grows up to be...

When someone's feet are (finally) held to the fire, they stay to feel the pain. That's what "consequence" is about.
Obviously, she IS having/feeling some consequence/s for her actions.
The only way she sees stopping it is to eliminate the source of the pain--the truth, which is embodied in those that tell it (your daughter).
Honestly, I wonder why you're even asking this question! Pretty obvious to me.

They don't have to tolerate this new form of bullying. She's caught. Oh, poor her. So now she's trying to bully them into being quiet and they shouldn't fall for it.

This IS her consequence. It's out and the girls don't like her and don't want to deal with her. Your daughter should keep her head high and not lie and not put up with this new tactic. Gee, a kid who thinks she can just buy people off when things don't go her way...WONDER WHERE she got that from?

Your daughter is moving on. Be proud of her for saying she doesn't want to lie.

The bully likes to see people upset...but doesn't like to be called on it. Tough cookies.

Do not get pulled into this any further. Just look and walk away.

Teach your daughter to just be herself and not allow people like this to ever do this again to her. As long as she continues to be a good person, she has nothing to worry about. She is always allowed to speak up for herself.

The truth has come out, others are aware (they always were). The fallout went further than people thought it would go..

As you said before, you know who your real friends are. Stick with them.

Really try to let your daughter now move on. This has been stressful enough for her. She can now start all over. I PROMISE people know the truth. They have always known it, they were just not as brave as you and your daughter to say something.

End this.

There are consequences. You just don't see them and you shouldn't be hearing about them. This kid is trying to make a deal so she doesn't get into further trouble. Because if she doesn't stop her bullying behavior, there are escalating disciplinary actions that the school can take.

I'm proud of your daughter and her friends for not lying and standing up to this person. Great job, mom!

She's doing it because she doesn't want to change her behavior and feels she's right to bully the girls into covering for her. Your daughter and her friends are great kids for standing up to her and letting her know that they won't lie on her behalf. As far as the principal not doing anything yet? Obviously something is in the works or this girl wouldn't be trying to broker a deal.

"Why is the bully trying to cover it up?" Same reason someone who commits a crime doesn't run to the police department and turn themselves in. She wants to get away with it.

Your daughter's response to her should be "If you don't want to own it, don't do it. If you do it, own it"

That is one weird kid. Something has got her attention enough to change her behavior or at least try over it up. Hangon for a bumpy ride.

When this doesn't work, expect something else. I think she could be dangerous. I really think she has a mental problem. She does things with an impulsivity that suggests she doesn't have complete control. Not that she is not responsible for her actions kind of way but that expectations for her behavior need to be adjusted and her actions need to be closely monitored.

But that is not your responsibility nor your daughter's. It is something you need to talk about. About not being alone with this girl. About completely walking away and not talking to her. About calling you if she ever felt threatened.

"Why is the bully trying to make a deal now?" To lure the victim into a false sense of security-then they will strike again-the people in a position of authority will only take into consideration the bully's recent behavior and not believe the victim. Watch out-people who think it is "fun" to be mean are ill-and probably being abused.

Something is happening behind the scenes if she is now acting this way...

All I can say is be glad your child has a good head on her shoulders.

You never know what is going on behind closed doors at home. This child might be getting it pretty bad (one way or another) and this is the only way she knows how to deal with it.

I am so over trying to figure out everyone else's child or at least those who I do not understand why they act the way they do.

Focus on your child and her well being and do what is best for her. Just pray for this other child (somehow).

Girls are mean and caddy and it was tough being a girl growing up. At least boys can just punch it out and they are over it.

Why is she covering it up? Because she is hurting already. Whatever is going on at home or elsewhere in her life, she sees something amounting to bullying. She has learned that she has to decide to either be the bully or the doormat. She doesn't want to be the doormat but sees there is power in being the bully. It is a painful life she is living.

She now has to cover it up because now she is being held accountable and that is not fun. Whomever she is watching or experiencing pain from s not being held accountable so she didn't know it would happen.

If the bully is tryign to apologize, let her. If she is trying to weasel out--then heck no.