Why Can't People Keep Commitments?

Well you can see where the 4 year old got his rudeness from, huh? I would just thank your lucky stars that she and him are out. If she happens to call you again for another time, I would decline if I were you.

Some people are just incapable of making commitments. They live in a world that revolves around them don't you know?

I would get it done in writing if you could as to when a "client" needs your services. Have them confirm it back to you in writing. Set it up like a business would. Set up a rule for cancelations. They have until a certain time to cancel without a penalty of sorts. If they pull a no show, charge them or simply cross them off of your list. Unless of course they had some sort of an emergency that was beyond their control.

May not be an easy thing to do, but you have to set some rules in order to protect yourself and to avoid any misunderstanding. Also, by setting up these type of rules, you will also be screening out the unstable people hopefully. A lot of them can't play by rules.

Good luck!

I have run a licensed daycare for 9 yrs...advice to you...do NOT let others USE you! A contract is a must. And YOU make the rules, have a book of policies that you go over with them before they even decide to use you for childcare. Then, they know the rules and what is expected. Do not be afraid of this...it will save you so much stress and keep the ones you don't want, OUT! And it sounds like it's better for you not to have that child anyway...any child that behaved that way in my home would need to change or would not be welcome back. Sounds like it might be a learned trait though. That's not to say that kids don't have off days...we all do, but they do not get to make the rules! Good luck w/ this and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to inbox me.

Well as you said, the child didn't like that you made him mind. It happens all the time. It's just that you also didn't seem to realize that she was trying to fire you, but she wasn't being direct about it.

As for people not keeping their committments, yeah, I get it. My husband has told me at least 500 times in the last 25 years, that these people don't care about us. He tries to get me to realize that I need to put us first because they never will even consider our needs at all.

I actually don't believe that for everyone. I've had some wonderful families. It's just that there's not enough decent, honorable, honest, down to earth, and reasonable people out there for me to make a regular living with. I'll ALWAYS have at least 30% of my clientelle that are unstable. BUT, it's time my dear for you to learn that the LORD is your source. He can and will bring replacements if you ask him to.

As far as contracts are concerned, VERBAL contracts are enforceable. But you would have to hall her into small claims court. It's not needed. Ignore the negative comments you'll receive. You'll find if you read the daycare questions on here, that the types of answers closely mimick what we find in the real everyday world. About 70-80% of the answers will be kind and considerate and given by people that would never consider treating their providers badly. But 20-30% of the answers are given by people that we can be very GLAD not to work for.

NEXT

Well, this woman is a jerk, and you actually do know that. I know you want to work, but are you so hard up that you are willing to abused by someone who waffles around in what she says, and when you try to understand what's going on, she yells at you?

Stand up straight, tell yourself that you won't be answering her phone calls anymore "letting you" babysit her kid when she can't find anyone else. Or when the co-op falls through because she won't pull her weight, or when the other mothers get sick and tired of her kid yelling in their faces, pointing his finger in their faces, and stomping around and screaming. Because the hell they go through with that kid won't be worth it.

To be honest, I knew from the moment I read that she might take her kid to the co-op that you were out of a job. And "I think my classes are on the 14th and 28th" doesn't mean that she had given you those dates.

That doesn't mean that she had any right to yell at you.

Change your way of working. Ask point blank (other people - don't take calls from this woman anymore!) if they have the date written in their calendars. Send a follow up email and ask for them to reply to recap your conversation. Make it business like.

I don't know how to tell you to pick your people better, but I do know that you don't need to be working for THIS lady!

Good luck!
Dawn

Hi, Dancer:

It is a shame that you have to find out the hard way that some people
are very rude and unkind to boot.

The child is a symbol of the parent's behavior.

When you discover that people are behaving badly,
tell them that you appreciated the experience and hope
that all goes well with the family.

Let them go.

This is a learning experience for you and use it as a guide the
next time you care for their child/children.

Good luck.
D.

My first reaction is that though the woman handled it the entirely wrong way, she was right. You didn't have a contract with her. She had no obligation to allow you to watch her kid those two days/nights even though it was booked in advance. As far as she was concerned, it was probably more like a hair appointment. Yes you make it, but if something comes up or you find another stylist you want to try out, then you cancel.

If you're counting on this money for bills, and expecting them to never cancel once they're on your calendar, then you do need to be up front with them. Clearly lay out your expectations and what will happen if they aren't met.

I like the idea of cancellation charge with a contract.The problem is, you're probably paid at the time of services, right? So, how would you enforce a cancellation charge?

I would just outline to your clients that you count on this money and when you book their dates, you're not available for anyone/thing else. Ask them for the respect of cancelling in advance and then don't do business with anyone who can't respect that need.

As far as how she handled it, some people struggle with canceling or cutting off business ties with someone they know depends on that income, even if it's best for them. She was probably emotional, expected you to react negatively, and then blew up because she was uncomfortable.

As poorly as she handled it, it was true - you didn't have a contract. No matter how much you were counting on that money, she just didn't see it the same way. Set expectations up front!

I don't see it as being pushy to want to know when, if it's a regular thing, she would need you. She was canceling one night so why not plan ahead for other nights? I often keep an eye on my friend's son Sunday afternoons and if I ask him what his schedule is, I just want to know where I need to be. If anything else comes up, I tell them as soon as I know. Even though you don't have a contract, if it's been a regular thing, there was an unwritten assumption that she would have your help those nights if she needed them. You were just clarifying need.

If this is your business, then you need to get contracts. If it's just a sometimes thing, like if my teenaged stepdaughter would babysit, then I don't think it needs to get that formal.

Look at it this way - you are done with a boy that didn't fit in well and can accept the clients you turned down. You might call them up and say there's been a cancellation.

And if she, for whatever reason, calls you up again, you can remind her there was no contract so you are booked. Sorry. *smile*