This is not love and hate situation.
Okay, so this is like Chapter X on the divorce. My soon to be ex went to the local police station with papers claiming to be from court authorizing him to take large items (some his and I don't care if he takes them in fact I tried to arrange with him several times to get them with police escort. Now he is adding the washer and dryer to the list. We lived together for 5 years, no washer and dryer. My mom did laundry the first few months of our daughter's life. He loaned out the money he put aside for the washer and dryer and got the money back 3 months later and told the person he needed it to buy the washer and dryer for the baby. So, now we have to go back to court for a hearing. My question is only to the judge to ASK HIM: Please explain why he now wants the washer and dryer that he bought for the child? What would your question be to present your case provided you wanted to keep the washer and dryer. Remember, I'm not working, currently job hunting, but certainly not to buy a washer and dryer.
Hes already taken the electronics (TVs, modem, DVD, etc.) So, now he wants the W&D and I am not being petty. I shouldn't have to go to my mother's when I now have the convenience of doing it at home. She was doing us a favor until he got the money back to buy the washer and dryer. The reason why I say for the baby because that's how he qualified it when he suggested buying one. I had nothing to do with it. He bought it specifically for that purpose. NO other reason. Of course we used it, but its not as simple as go to my mothers and mooch off her water bill and do laundry. Our daughter is in school and two change of clothes mostly shirts are piling up.
He's taken and gotten away with what he wanted, but I cannot allow him to strip the house of everything just because he bought it. Of course when I speak to the judge I will have my act together. As I've said, everything else he's taken I didn't show resistance. No biggy. But now to ask for the W&D out of the blue and falsify court papers to the police saying the judge signed is the real issue for me now. Is there no other level low enough to stoop?
People say he's just trying to hurt me, but I am numb to pain. I have accepted the demise of my marriage and I am happily trying to pick up the pieces one day at a time.
I've already lost a lot and have a depleted bank account to prove where I've been picking up the slack until I finally got a CS court order which he is now ignoring.
FYI those asking he has court order supervised visits which he is responsible for the cost.
So, he was not allowed the washer & dryer. It stays with the child. He was livid and tried to argue that he paid for it. LOL, and the judge said, that was generous and now your child can be in the safety of home while laundry is being done instead of a public facility requiring supervision.
Point out how difficult it is to take a child to the laundrymat while working around nap (don't know how old child is?) and bedtime schedules. Also, you have a lot more laundry to do with child's clothes, bedding, etc.
You need to simplify this for the judge. The back story not only doesn't matter it clutters up the issue. This is a simple division of property. You need the washer and dryer because you have the care of your daughter. The washer and dryer doesn't belong to your daughter. It belongs to you and your husband and the judge will decide the division of property if the two of you can't agree.
Stick to the simple facts. If you don't have a lawyer, I urge you to get one now. A lawyer can simplify some of these issues and help you stay on track, keeping the emotions out of court appearances.
Later in re: he's responsible for the cost of the court ordered visitation. That means that he has to pay for the supervision. This isn't common but does happen. It usually means that the visits need a professional or disinterested person involved.
Hmmm. Does he need the washer and dryer so he can sell it to pay child support?
This seems like one of those cases where the man wants something that will make the woman's life harder on her.
It happens every single day, unfortunately.
Don't waste your breath asking the judge to answer why your husband would do this. It's not his job to answer crazy questions, it's his job to decide how material possessions are divided. Plain and simple.
What you need to do, instead of asking questions, is make a case for why you have a greater need for the washer and dryer than your husband does.
You are the one with a small child, you are currently seeking employment (you better have documentation of that) and you have a greater need for the washer and dryer than he does. State that you feel he only wants the appliances to make things more difficult as far as you having to go to the laundromat. The washer and dryer were purchased so the child's laundry could be kept up. Now that you are divorcing, he wants them back. However, the child still has laundry to be kept up.
He did not buy the washer and dryer for the child, like a gift. The child has no ownership in them. They are considered property purchased during your marriage and therefore, they are prone to being divided just like anything else. Is there anything you can counter with? For example, he gets the entertainment center and the movie collection and you keep the washer and dryer?
The judge can order that the washer and dryer be sold and you both split the money.
I would be calm, composed, careful about how you word things.
Fighting over a washer and dryer is ridiculous at best and judges do get tired of that kind of thing.
You need to try to prove you have a greater need for it than he does and hope the judge sees it that way.
Divorce is ugly.
Been there, done that.
Even if he gets the appliances, it will be an inconvenience for you, but the world won't end. You can probably find some on craigslist that people are willing to give away because they upgraded.
Again, don't ask the judge questions. Just state rational facts.
Best wishes.
Visitation and child support are usually different things. You may need to go through another avenue to enforce the CS.
If he gets the washer and dryer (only to hurt you, not about the baby), then consider putting out the call to your local Freecycle list. Just say, "newly single mom in need of washer and/or dryer to help me with my infant's clothes" and see what comes up. You might be surprised. Friend not only got a dryer that way, but an apartment sized one that was great for her place.
Sorry he's being a jerk.
I'm sorry F., but he is likely going to be mad at you for the rest of his life, this is just one example of that. Do what you need to do to take care of that baby and yourself, whatever THAT is, you will not be able to MAKE him be what his family needs him to be. Sorry, but, you know, what a dick!
:)
I would think a Mother with a young child has a greater need to a washer and dryer than a newly single man. Point out that you are the primary care taker for the child and, as such, need to retain the machines.
He wants the machines now just to cause you trouble. Don't discuss it with your Ex, don't let him see that it drives you crazy.
Shouldn't all these divisions of personal possessions be decided in the divorce decree? Maybe ask that all possessions just stay were they are until the divorce is final and the disposition of assets is completed.
Also, PLEASE have your attorney point out the judge that he behind on court ordered child support.
God Bless
He's not taking it from the child, he's taking it from you and so it will be easier for him to do laundry. I think your subject line is being a tad dramatic. Divorces suck and now you guys are getting down to the petty stuff, and that is what is bad for the child, not the fact that there isn't a washer in the home. I'm guessing you can go to moms and do laundry like you did before. I'm sorry, but when you choose a divorce, you also choose to lose some items the both of you used together!
You have to form it in the child's best interest. Your child deserves clean clothes. Your child should not have to be exposed to the other clients at the laundromat, or the laundromat itself. Your child is best off maintaining a strict schedule, not being dragged around doing chores... etc.
Since the washer & dryer were purchased during your marriage, they are not his. They belong to both of you. The money he used to buy them belonged to both you. It wasn't "his" money. There is no such thing as "mine" and "yours" in marriage, everything is "ours."
The fact that he falsified documents will work to your advantage. Keep records. You will need them to prove your case.
Good luck.
What a knucklehead... pray aobut it - ask for God to handle this detail of your life. God does care about the details of your life so ask. If your ex is taking things like the stereo, TV, whatever, I think the judge would give you the washer and dryer. It's not like he's going to offer to do your son's laundry!
Tell the judge that if he insists on taking the washer/dryer then you insist on him purchasing a replacement OR him supplying the funds for taking the clothes to the laundrymat, bring an itemized sheet of laundrymat costs.
I'm not sure how to answer your washer/dryer question, but if he has not paid court ordered child support for three weeks isn't he considered a dead-beat dad? Call the courts. When you do go, make sure he has to pay the courts the child support directly and then the courts pay you. I think that is the arrangement my friend had to make when she was going through her divorce and custody issues.
Not to be a wet blanket but I doubt the court is going to count a comment meant to guilt the money back quickly from the guy who owed him as a pledge of a gift to the child. What it will most likely be taken as is he needed the money to buy a washer and dryer for himself to do his child's laundry.
I had to give up like compensation for things like my children's furniture during our divorce. If the court would not consider their furniture the child's possession I doubt the court would consider a household appliance.
Good luck either way.
I hate when parents hurt the child because they are trying to hurt the other parent. Way to go dad! How selfish!
