I need some other peoples input here. I just had a baby girl last Jan 15th and she has a half sister that my husband only sees on the weekends, sometimes every other weekend. She is 10 years old. We just moved into our new home and my husband was insistant on giving Alexis the bigger room b/c she's older. I said that was fine, but later on ni started thinking, and i'm thinking that once My daughter is old enough, i'm thinking about 5, (when she starts school) she should get the bigger room b/c/ she lives here FULL TIME. Theres no reason for my husbands daughter to have the bigger room to only use it every other weekend right? My daughter is gonna need the room for her toys and room to play EVERYDAY, not just sometimes ya know? I was thinking of switching them when my daughter turns 5 b/c then Lexie will be 15 and more into friends by that age and not care about her room that she only has part time anyway. I just ont think that it would be fair to my little girl that she gets the smaller room when her half sister is only here "sometimes" it's like a little visit. Now just to get some things clear, this isn;t about favoritism or anything like that, it's about being fair, and i just need some others input. I say this cuz i've read some other responses to othere peoples questions and some people can be really mean, so all the positive advice i can get is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
I think the bigger room should go to your daughter. She lives there full time and that is her house. Your stepdaughter does not live there full time so the room is going to waste. Soon she might be at an age where she doesn't come as regularly as she does now.
I agree with you, it's only fair to your daughter because she is there full time. I have a 10 year old stepson that I had the same predicament with when we were moving and I ultimately gave him the smaller room. Our situation has since changed, however, because he came to live with us full time.
I totally agree with you. If she doesn't live there full time, the room is basically going to waste on all the other days that she isn't there. That space could be used for your younger daughter on a daily basis. I say give the older girl the smaller room and she should understand because she has a room at her mother's house, correct?
I hear you, I've gotten some very mean responses. I think thats part of not speaking face to face.
I think what your suggesting is fair, or more then fair. Having first hand experience being the half sister that only got to see my Dad sometimes. I never had my own corner at his house, and when there shared the nursery w/ my 1/2 baby sister. Having my own room wouldn't have made any difference to me. I think it's all in how the Daddy treats the kid that makes them feel like part of the family or not.
Best of luck to you, A. H
B.,
I agree with you completely and I also see your husband side as well. Men when it comes to blended families tend to over compensate, it is logical for the 10 year old to have the bigger room if she lived there full-time, but what you have to explain to your husband is that for Alexis this is her second room. She does not need as much space because she will have less stuff. The room size should not be distributed based on age, but need. As your daughter gets bigger so will her things (toys, clothes, etc.,) and you will need more space. With that being said I think this is something that you need to discuss now instead of later. Once Alexis is in that room trying to get her to switch will be more dramatic then just taking care of it now. I suggest you have a discussion with your husband about it and remember it is not what you say, but how you say it. And allow Alexis to have a big part in decorating her new space so that no matter which room she gets she feels like it is her space, that is all kids want anyway really.
Good luck, been there, done that!
I think that as long as you make it as special as your younger daughters room she would not have a problem with it. Decorate it to her liking.
Your daughter should be the larger room NOW, not wait until she is 5. She will live there full time and will have more things and at a younger age, the toys, etc are just more bulky. That is you and your husbands child together in your home, so it only makes sense that she gets the bigger room. She will need the space. Alexis already has her own room with her mother, so this is a "bonus" room for her, it shouldn't be about size for the small amount of time that she spends there. When she is there it should be about quality time with her Father, step mom and new baby sister :)
Its a bonus that she has her own room there at all :)
