Should My Children Share a Room?

I say yes on the room sharing. I grew up with 8 siblings and we had to share all the time-one house we lived in,all 5 of us girls shared a room! It teaches children how to be a family and how to get along. My children had to learn to share rides to school, since there was only one car for them to go to school in, they learned to work things out on their own and now I can see how they get along so well now that they are out of the house. My husband and I have 5 children -29,28,25,21,19. (On a personal note, I do hope you two tie the knot.):)

We have a 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl. They have shared a bedroom for about 2 years, and we had two other bedrooms. They like to share a room, and I think it is good for them. It teaches them to respect other's space and things. We had another baby 3 months ago, and put her in her own room. I think the older two would have loved to have her in the room with them too! It is all what you make of it. IF you make it to be an exciting thing, they will probably think that it is exciting too.

When my parents were expecting their third child, the two older ones (my brother and I) were of the understanding that depending on if baby was a boy or girl, he or she would share a bedroom with the little one.

I tell you what, I was disappointed when my little brother was born.

I think if you prepare them for it now, it should be an easy transition. Perhaps you can work something out so they can have their own "space" (quiet little corner just for them) within the room, so they feel they have somewhere to go to get away, though I wouldn't worry too much about it for the 5 year old at this point.

Good luck!

I don't feel that it's a good idea to have your children share their rooms with a new baby. Your step daughter is at the age where she is starting to need her own space. Your son is at a critical age of his own. He has either started kindergarten or will be this fall. It's not fair to have a baby in their rooms and disturbing them while they try to sleep. They need to be able to get the rest they need. They also need to have a special place for their own things. Also, what about their friends? If they have friends over they won't be able to have a place which is just their own to hang out and play, especially your step daughter. There are so many other reasons why it would be best if everyone had their own room. It's great that their both excited about the baby, but this could change rather quickly once the little one arrives. Purchase the larger house. I think it's best if you give up some of the things you want right now, instead of your children having too. You said that you are looking for a larger home where you all can fit. You all don't fit in the home you like, so why would you do this to everyone involved. If you can afford the larger house it's probably the right thing to do, or it might be best to continue looking until you find the perfect home that allows for the space you need and also the payment. This is a buyers market. There is so many homes up for sale right now. Believe me, there might come a point when neither one of your children will want to be sharing their room with the baby. Then what are you going to do?????

I had the same problem as you, I have an 8 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl who share a room. We too have a 3 bedroom, well technically a 2 bedroom with a converted basement. We had no plans of expanding our little family, so it was perfect. They have bunkbeds downstairs and really get along just fine and upstairs, I have my other daughter and son sharing a room, until they are old enough to go downstairs. Someday we will need to get a bigger house!

Could the 5 & 8 year old share a room? Then you could have a seperate room for the baby. The baby will be up in the night, and you don't want him/her to wake the other kids. Then they may be crabby all the next day, because they're so tired. I suppose since they are not blood relatives, maybe it would be inappropriate. Not sure what I would do.

Kids sharing a room is a good thing. It will torture you and them for years to come, but it will teach valuable lessons for life later. Sharing, getting along, being respectful of others, etc.
The age difference will be the big problem if the baby is a girl, because little girls really, really, really like to get into big sister's make-up. I know, I was 9 years older than my sister.
Lots of understanding for big sis when that happens, and lots of discipline for little sis, will help.

This sounds like a rather easy situation. You could just let the baby sleep in your bedroom with you (a little longer than you'd planned, but oh well) until he/she is big enough to sleep in a toddler bed and then he/she could share a bedroom with whatever sibling is the same sex.

Here is a thought outside the box for you to also consider: you could have the girls (you & your stepdaughter) sleep in one room, call it the 'Girl's Room' or something...and the boys can sleep in their own room (your fiancee and your son), and the third room could be the room where you and your fiancee can have 'alone time' while everyone is sleeping. That room would however primarily be the room where you tend to the baby at night while everyone else is getting an undisturbed nights' sleep (yes, unfair but realistic). The third room would morph into you and your fiancee's bedroom and the baby would go into the girl's room or the boy's room once he/she's grown up enough to be in preschool.

There is a big age difference between your children with them sharing. If they were within 2 years of each other I would say yes let them share. My question is do you own your home. Is there a way you can add a room on somewhere or put one in the basement? Put the baby in your room for longer.

Is there any way to expand or build on to the 3-bedroom?
If not, I still don't think it's a problem to get the 3-bedroom, and maybe upgrade in half a dozen years. Then your older cihldren will be entering or nearing the teen years when they want more privacy. I think it's good for children to share when they are younger and have something to strive for! :)

I know how hard this, but it is recommended by that an 8 year have a separate bedroom if not roomed with a same sex sibling. The military and most Social Services recommend this for a variety of reasons. I wish you the best of luck, and success with your search.

First of all, are you having anymore children, or is this your last? If you want to expand your family again a 4 bedrooom is the best bet. If you are done, a 3 bedroom would be a good option. I have 5 kids and they hava always shared a room with each other. If you wait until the baby is sleeping through the night, your kids shouldn't have a problem in sharing there room.Since your other children are older, you won't have to worry that the kids are going to climb into the babies bed.

are you asking if your two older kids should share a room or if you should let them share a room with the baby?

As soon as the baby is big enough to sleep through the night, sharing with one of the kids should be fine.

However, I am not sure about the laws in Minnesota, but in Wisconsin there is a law about kids sharing a room. After the oldest (or maybe youngest, I forget, either way it applies here) is 5 years old, boys and girls cannot share a room. If they choose to sleep in the same room, it is ok, but they must both have seperate bedrooms. It is something a lot of people don't think about, but it is something to consider and think about.

The 3 bedroom is fine, as long as it is the baby sharing a room with an older child (at least in WI)

M.,

My children love sharing a room. (Not every minute, but overall.) Everyone wanted to get the baby in their room, but we decided to have a boys room and a girls room, so it made an easy decision.

I know a lot of people say kids should have their own room, need lots of privacy, etc. I disagree. I remember talking to my college roommate's mother who raised 8 children and said the most rebellious time she had with her child was when she got her own room. She isolated herself from the family and it wasn't healthy.

Maybe you could have a family council and explain the situation to the kids. Tell them that by having the 3 bedroom home, it saves money that you can put elsewhere. (When my kids complain that we don't have the 6000 sq.ft. house on the hill, I remind them that we would never take a vacation or go out to eat or on family dates if we bought a house like that.)

See if you have got a volunteer. If your next baby is a boy, see if your daughter will take him while in a crib and then your son can share when he is older. Brainstorm different ideas until your family comes up with something everyone can live with. If you are worried about privacy, work out something. My older kids still get their rooms to themselves for part of the day because I have the little ones play elsewhere when they need some time to themselves.

And the kids are going to have to share a room in college and after they are married, they might as well learn how to share a room now.

Good luck,
S.

Choosing a house is a big step and situations like yours can make it even harder. Your children are young enough though that having a baby to share their room might be exciting for them. You could make them your little helper making it more a privilage than an inconvenience for them. If you really have your mind set on this house I am sure it will work out for you and your new family. Maybe in the future you could add another room to the house. Good luck with your new house and your new family.

I have found that it's actually really good for my kids to share a room. Family is all about sharing. Depending on the gender of the new baby, maybe he/she can share with the sibling that is the opposite gender while the baby is younger (maybe until they're 2 or 3) and then move them into the room with the sibling of the same gender. My girls get into plenty of skirmishes sharing a room, but they are learning conflict resolution and patience. And they are finding that their sister is their best friend. Involve your older kids in the decision so that they have some ownership in it. Good luck and congratulations!

I have all three of my kids in a room together right now. We had to take a pay cut, thus in a smaller place for now. I have two boys, ages 4 and 2 1/2 and a 7 month old baby. The boys have been sharing a room for 1 year. IT was great for them. They are really close. Putting a baby with them has been a bit of a challenge. I guess looking at your situation and the other responses, I would hesitate to put the 8 year old with a baby. Maybe the 5 year old and the baby?
It's hard. THey do get used to crying and sleep through it for the most part. I have a fan going in there all of the time for white noise. It really drowns out the other noises in the house. I also have a CD with music, (lullabies from Target). When she gets up at night, I turn on that CD and the boys usually don't wake up. Good luck. It is challenging. I almost took her out of there, but really don't want her in our room anymore. She was getting up at the sounds of my husbnad coughing.
Hope things go smoothly!

When the baby is old enough he or she could share a room with either the brother or sister. What ever gender it is. Is there a basement in the home? When our oldest got a little older like 12 we built a bedroom and small livingroom in the basement. It was unexpensive and my son loved it down there. Good luck!

my brother, sister and i shared a room and a half growing up. people don't do this much nowadays, but i don't see what the big deal is.

I think it's fine for them to share a room. We did growing up. We probably benefitted from it too. Having to learn that all is not yours, having to share space and spend time together are all good things!

It really shouldn't be up to the children whether or not they want to share a room. That's just how it is. We have become such an entitlement and selfish society these days where every child has to have their own room. Yes, houses are bigger these days because of that, but personally I think it's better when kids share a room. I had to share a room with my older sister growing up and it became my own room when I was 11 and she went off to college.

Right now, all THREE of my kids are in one room and we have room to give them their own. It works out fine. The baby is 7 months old and she does not wake up the boys (3 & 5) when she cries in the middle of the night. The only issue we have is sometimes (now that she is older) she will not go to sleep if the boys are in there at the same time going to bed because she wants to play.

If the house you want makes them share a room, so be it. They will be better for it.

Being the only girl in a family with three kids, I never had to share a room, but my brothers did from the time my youngest brother was born until they were in their teens. It worked out fine, except for the part where they faught, but I think all siblings fight at one time or another. It shouldn't be bad if they have to share a room, my kids (I have 4) have all had to share a room at one time or another..

Hi M.,

I too have an 8 year old daughter (from a previous relationship). My husband and I had a baby girl 5 months ago, and our home was not suited for two children. We have begun to finish our basement to create more space, but in the meantime my two daughters have shared a room.

I moved many of my older daughters' toys out of the room to a different "play space" in the home. I also moved the dressers into the closet to create more room, so now it's just two tall bookshelves, my older daughter's bed and the crib. My oldest loves having her baby sister in her room. I was worried that the baby would wake her, but children adapt very quickly and this has never been an issue. Hope this helps!Congrats on your new addition!

I don't see why not! We've got a three bedroom house, with three children. While I was pg. we didnt' know what we were having, so we just decided to put the older two together, and then switch them. It was easier at night, and that way I wasn't waking someone else up! For now I would put the older two together, and then when the baby has started sleeping through the night, on a regular schedule, put the same sexed one's together! My sister was 6 years younger than I and we shared a room with no problems!

And in our situation, the baby is now 7 1/2 months old and started sleeping through the night about two weeks ago, so we'll be putting the girls together (3 & 7 1/2 mo) probably sometime this summer! Our son will have his own room, but we will be repainting the rooms, because he'll get the smaller of the rooms, (the nursery).

share a room. girls in one room and boys in another room. many kids share rooms, they may not like it at first, but it'll get better. I would definetly have only one sex per room though. have fun.

Hi M.,

We also have 3 children and had this dilemma as our 3rd arrived last summer. We bought a loft bed for our 6 year old and got bunk beds for our 4 year old son. The baby and our 6 year old technically share a room with the loft bed (dollhouse and toys under the loft as well as our 6 year olds dresser) and crib. As we've let our baby cry a bit more at night our 6 year old has chosen to sleep in her brother's room in the bunk. So, it's working out ok for us right now. Soon enough we will either have to frame an area downstairs on our walk out level or put her in the basement bedroom (same level as the furnace). We're not in any hurry as we enjoy those areas for other purposes right now and no-one is complaining about the arrangements. So, if there is an area that is already finished in your home that you can transition to or an area that you can finish as another bedroom, I say go for it. If you think that you are eventually going to outgrow the home and have to move again, maybe keep looking. That's just me - we moved with 2 children and a full house and I never want to have to do that again!

Good Luck!
M.

Wow, I get to respond to this from three sides. Younger sibling, older sibling and a mother :)

I was the youngest of 5 kids. 4 girls one boy. He always got his own room. Up until I was 6 all 4 girls shared a room. Then we got a bigger house and we were split 2/2. I shared a room with older sibling until I was 10.

We were a foster family off and on for years. When I was ten my little sister came to live with us. She was 9 months old. After my oldest sis moved out the rooms shifted to me sharing with a sis 2 yrs older to sharing with a sis 10 yrs younger.

Siblings learn alot from sharing rooms. My boys shared til they were 8and 10 even though we had enough rooms. During that time the older one had a hard time sometimes treating his younger bro nicely so one day I moved younger one to his own room. It wasnt long before the older one was begging to share a room again and promising to love and treat his bro better.

I think there are bonds made "after hours" that can not be made any other time. I still remember listening to them giggle and talk long after they should have been asleep. Mostly they got along best toward bed time-- in hopes I would be content and forget to put them there.. LOL. So that good mood carried over and gave them things to giggle about.

They are very very diff. types personalities and arent as close now. I think both because of their interests and because they stopped sharing a room and didint have to "deal" with each other. Forgot the need to respect and like the other for who they are.

Hi! Congrats on the coming baby. My 2 kids have shared a room since the beginning. They are only 2 years apart though. I say buy the house you like and explain to the kids that it will be fun to share a room. I made sure that my older daughter had her 1/2 of the room decorated how she wanted. But now they both like the same stuff so their room is decorated in 1 way. You have to do what you can comfortably afford.
Good luck!!

I guess I dont come from a well experienced place when it comes to this. I was the youngest child so I was the baby that shared a room with one of the older ones and I only have 1 child so I cant say from that point either.

I would think that it would be okay for children to share a room. It's really only recently that the idea of kids having their own room was normal. I just read an article in a parenting magazine about it. just 30 years ago it was very normal to be 2 or more kids in one bedroom. I think maybe if you can fit a crib in your room for a little while until the baby is old enough to pretty much have good routines at night time and sleeps through the night for the most part so not to disturb the older ones sleep, it should be great.

I remember being younger I thought it was fun to share a room with both my brother and sister (I changed rooms when I got a little older to my sisters room instead of my brothers room whith whom I shared first cause we were closest in age). We would play and giggle until falling asleep.

What about your older ones sharing a room until the baby gets a little older (that way the baby can get older and develop better routines and learn to sleep through the night without problems) and then move your youngest into the youngest or the one of the same sex.

Just some suggestions. I hope you figure it out and hope that you find a house that works for you and you really like.

Melisa,
this is what FAMILY is all about what better way to teach them than now, You are the parents and they are the children not your best friends or company you want to make comfortable while visiting, I am from a family of 9 children in a three bedroom home, I shared with my sisters two of them and we had some of the best times and worse times of our life, but it shaped us and taught us the give and take of life. good luck I hope this helps.

it is probably fine for you children to share a room. i would imagine in about 5 years your daughter might start saying something about wanting her own space... but there are options that turn out rather cute!

http://www.decorating-kids-rooms.net/divider-rooms.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Budget-Decorating:-Making-A-Roo...

when i was growing up me and my sister and brother all 'shared a room to speak. there was a room added on that you could only get through by going through another room, and there was never a door, so i always had just a curtain there in the doorway. my sister and brother shared the other larger room and i had the back room, until i graduated. my sister was going into 11th grade when i left for college, so her and our little brother had to share a room the whole time! it was never a big deal i guess. so there you go.

Ask the kids if they want to share. We're having our third on May 2nd and my kids are getting their own rooms because we're adding on a master room in the attic. My daughter is now mad that she no longer has to share a roomwith her brother and is even madder that she won't have to share a room with the new baby because its a boy. You never know, the kids might want to share and might fight over who gets to!! I would say that it woudl be better for the younger one to share just because with the girl getting older you have to consider puberty and the privacy issues that come along with sharing a room. It might be easier for a boy to share, even if it's with a little girl, than it would be for an almost preteen to share. Just something to think about.

In my opinion, I would have seperate rooms for all kids.

The age difference between your oldest and baby is too great. She'll want her privacy and be able to have her own space to retreat too. If it's another boy then maybe the boys can share a room. I just think that when they hit 8-10 they too will prefer to have their own room.

A baby outgrows a bassinet at three months or so and to put a baby who wakes and crys at all hours of the night with one of your older kids is not good unless they are heavy sleepers.

On a side note my Dad and Step-mother had a baby when I was around 10 and my biological Mom would watch him during the day. When she was doing dishes I stuck a Cherrio in his mouth and we couldn't even sit up by himself. I took it out right away because I was scared. I don't know what I was thinking but always worry about older kids and young babys due to my actions as a child.

Good luck in your decision. It's not an easy one.

If you can't afford seperate rooms then I'd say, you have to do what you have to do and share space.

My initial reaction was to have the two older kids share, but not when I got to the end! Boy or girl, I think I'd put the baby with your son for a couple years. Unless his daughter is really with the program and not going to feel resentment having just moved in herself. If she's a nurturing, excited to be a big sister type girl, then there's no problem putting a baby girl with her. Are they both sound sleepers? If one is and one isn't, that could determine it (as long as his daughter is excited about it). Don't get financially strapped that it causes a strain on your relationship, but some 4 BR homes are smaller than some 3 BR homes so look for something in the same cost range. You can always build a room in the basement that would be cool for a tween/teen in a couple years if you stay. She's too young to put there now unless there is outdoor access in case of fire.

I have 5 older brothers and sisters- we lived in a 3 bedroom rambler- 3 girls in a room, 3 boys in a room. I wish we had a larger home, but we don't- our 2 kids share a room, and that's okay! Years ago, they didn't have the mega mansions we see now- and people turned out just fine. I read somewhere that kids who share a room get along better, know the meaning of sharing and grow up to be best friends. I can totally see all of that with my two children.

M.,

Do what you what's best for your family! What does your hubby think?

Do you know that my grandparents had 11 kids and they kept them all in a 4 bedroom home! Guess what they all survived! LOL!

They are very close family! I came from a family of 8 and my hubby came from a family of 10. So we had no choice but to share a room! Did we like it? Soemtimes.
It taught us patience, love, friendship, caring, and how to survive in the same room with someone you can't stand when you get into fights! LOL! Your little ones should be fine! It doesn't matter the size of the home. What matters is what you portray to your children. There are so many families living with less. As long as you have love in your heart, nothing else matters!

Live in a place where you feel happy with no regrets!

Best wishes!

J.

Heh. I shared a room with my 2 younger sisters for many years. When my brother was born I was 14 and I shared my room with him while my dad "expanded" the basement. I never minded either situation.

My children all had their own rooms. My two daughters were adopted at 4 and 9, and we thought they might like their own rooms but nope - they wanted to share for quite some time.

What's important is that you can afford the house in which you live and that the rest of the house/neighborhood/area is comfortable for you and your family. The children won't be harmed by sharing rooms, so it's really up to you. I'd put the older two together until the baby outgrows the constant waking in the night just to ensure the other children get better sleep at night and it doesn't interfere with their school day, but other than that - do what you can with what you have and don't worry - most people in the world even today share rooms - some a great deal more than others!

Privacy can be found many places and doesn't always need to be found "in their room". After all, a bedroom is supposed to be a place for sleeping - not an entertainment complex.

M. maybe u can talk to the 5year old about this. I know once they reach school age it will be hard to have them share rooms. Are they the same gender? Is there any way u can put up a half wall in the room? I also know that even though they are excited for the baby maybe there will be some jealousy with the new little one. The baby will take time and attention away from the other two. I am going through the very same thing. Trying to figure out what to do next. My son is 12 weeks and sleeping all night but i dont want to put him in with my 12 year old or 8year old. They love thier brother but want more attention like they use to get. I would say to talk it through with your kids. Im sure u will come up with something. Maybe if there is a bigger room u can give the 5year old and say that IF he shares his room with the baby he gets the bigger one or something. I hope this helps.