When Is to Young to Date?

Okay Shain (beautiful name btw) ...I am 24 years old and have 2 children. I am young enough to remeber my teen dating years but am also a mother myself. 10 is WAY too young to date. No way, No how. My parents never really put restrictions on my dating, they just punished me when I messed up. Because I had no restrictions and I was too young to understand what a relationship was, I ended up in many BAD situations where I was hurt; not only emotionally. My parents NEVER talked to me about relationships, dating, marriage, learning about who I was first...all I got from my mother was " You'd better walk down the isle in a white gown and it better mean something" and "if you ever have an abortion, I will disown you" ...and I wasnt even active at the time! Sit down and talk with her. Ask her why she likes this boy. Share with her some of your experiences with dating, good and bad, when you were young. Explain to her that the point of dating is to find out what kind of person you want to marry. At her age, she dosent even know who SHE is to even begin to know what to look for in a life partner. Set a dating age, and you'll have time to come up with restrictions on her dating when she reaches that age. I would suggest 16 or 18....I suggest telling her that when shes 16, If shes doing well in school, at home, in relationships with others (girlfriends), and watch to see if shes making overall good choices in her life, then you can talk about dating. YOU MAY HAVE TO BE FIRM. Don't let her pull the covers over your eyes, make sure you know where shes going, with whom, what they will be doing, when they will be back. I know it is difficult beacuse we want our children to be happy, and you will have moments of weakness when she cries or when she tells you all of her other friends are dating. Just remeber that if we give in based on guilt, we are not making good choices for our babies. Perhaps offer to take her out, just the 2 of you on a night when her friends will be doing something with boys, or offer to take her and her girlfriends to a movie or something. Its true, when we tell our children that it hurts us more than it hurts you. Just remind her that you love her and care about her and that its not that you don't want her to have fun, but you are her mother and you want her to be safe. You can also look into Parenting with Love and Logic. I went to a siminar on it and it was AMAZING. They have stuff that deals with children and they have info that deals with teens. Your little girl is right inbetween, so it may benefit you to look into both. http://www.loveandlogic.com/ Most cities have places that have groups that meet where someone who is trained in the Love & Logic way facilitates the groups. Parents meet and share their experiences, ask questions and support each other. It REALLY helps to have someone validating that your making the right choice when you can feel so badly about it sometimes. I hope some of this information helps? Keep up the good work mom!
P.S. You may suggest that your husband take her out for a father/daughter night, on a regular basis...every 2 weeks or something. Without telling your daughter, have your husband treat her the way you want a boy to treat her (someday). Have him open doors, be extra polite and such. If she sees her daddy do it, she will surely expect it from a boy in the future. ...and be comforted knowing that, short term she may be upset, but in the long run (which is all that matters) you have done a WONDERFUL thing and she WILL thank you one day!

Personally, I think she is WAY too young to date. How old were YOU when you had your first real boyfriend? There's nothing wrong with your daughter being good FRIENDS with this boy. I think telling her that she needs to wait until she's at least 15 to have a boyfriend is MUCH more reasonable. She will change and mature SO much in these next 5 years. You, and she, will know when she's ready to date.

10 is way to young to date or even thinking of dating! My Oldest daughter is 15 and she knows that she is not allowed to date until the age of 16! My youngest daughter who is 11 knows she won't be allowed to date until she is 16 also. Those have been our rules since they were born and we have stuck to those all along.

Our rule is 15 to double date, 16 for single dates. AND (here's the kicker...) the boy has to call the father to ask. Poor bugs.

Well. It really depends as long as your daughter gets really good grades and actaully earns them and if your daughter is responsible whinch u will know because she is ur own flesh then maybe she is ready

when i was younger my mom never told me i couldnt. And i never called it "dateing". i called it "going out." it was never anything serious when i had a "boyfriend" we just saw each other at birthday parties and at school. i think its okay we never ment harm we were just best friends. but i do think its a good idea tel tell her the meaning of "i love you' and to never just throw around thos words unless you know its the right person in that case you should be alot older! hope this helps.

As a great-gran, I gotta say that I recall that I couldn't date until I was 16, and I still think it was unreasonable (lol ... a teens frustrations with her parents can be LONG lived!)

But when my granddaughter, who lived with us, came home to ask about dating (at around eight!), I was a lot smarter than I'd been when my kids had asked. Instead of giving her an age (other than thirty, which my hubby insisted was a perfect age, lol, and Aubrianna knew wasn't happening) I just told her we'd see if anyone ever asked her on one (she rolled her eyes, of course).

And when dating DID come up for real, instead of saying "no way", I just asked questions. From the ages of ten until about sixteen, her "dates" were outings that included parents and generally a lot of other friends but meant that she talked a lot to her "date".

So I realize I "fly in the face of" all that you've been advised. But just consider that fighting the word "date" may be unnecessary. First find out what she means! It is highly unlikely that any other ten year old will have the money or wheels necessary to have the kind of "date" you may be thinking of! I frankly spent several years thankful that I hadn't known she was "dating" for the first few "dates". I just was taking her and about ten other kids to a movie. They didn't even hold hands (ooo, gross!) She was over sixteen before she had any desire to even be alone on a date.

Good luck!